We're on the case!

This morning Jim, Sherri, Gracie and I went walking in the mansion neighborhood. It was fun to look at those big houses. When we walked back across the bridge that spans Mission Blvd. I saw a path leading down to a sidewalk that hugs the side of Mt Rubidoux and goes along Mission Blvd. It leads down the the parking lot and dog park on the west side of Mt. Rubidoux. Jim and Gracie were tired so they went back to the car and Sherri and I went down the sidewalk.

When we were about halfway to the bottom we passed by a homeless guy sleeping right there next to the sidewalk. Sherri and I both jumped. We didn't see him until we were right close to him. Man, my chest felt like someone kicked me. We continued on chatting about that little bit of excitement. Then after that was met up with two gang banger types. One of them was holding a lizard he had caught. He was walking along holding a lizard by the neck! Another weird moment.

When we got to the bottom we poked around and explored the parking lot area for a while. There's a ruin of a manmade waterfall at one side of the parking lot. There's a nice old structure that looked like it had been a drinking fountain. We wondered what that area had been used for. It seemed like a lot of cost and effort had gone into making that one part of the parking lot special. All this work had been done in the early 30's. Anyway, it was pretty interesting. After a while we started back up the walk.

A white car pulled in and a guy got out. He fuddled around in his car a bit and then started walking towards us. Sherri and I didn't like the looks of this guy. He was acting fidgety and squirrely and he was looking at us. He started coming up the walk behind us! Just then, Jim pulled up. He had gotten bored waiting for us and decided to see where the sidewalk led to. We talked to him a little bit and then he drove off to turn the car around. The weirdo was still walking toward us. Since we were on this sidewalk on the side of a mountain there was no place to get away from this guy, We stepped aside and let him pass. He was even weirder up close.

We decided to get down off the sidewalk and leave with Jim. When we started walking down the guy turned around and followed us. Pretty creepy. We got his license plate number and left.

As we were driving back to Sherri's car she said she thought he looked a lot like the composite sketch of this guy who murdered a woman in a her home a few days ago. We called 911 and described the guy and told them were he had been and gave the dispatcher his license number. Then we drove back over to the parking lot to see if he was still there and to wait for the police. The guy was still there. He had put on a pair of rollerblades and was skating off on another sidewalk that went under the big bridge to Rubidoux. We were able to get a better look at what he was wearing.

The cops never came. When we got home we looked at the picture in the paper and DANG! It looks just like him! If that composite sketch is at all accurate then this really could be the guy. Sherri's going to call the detective who's working on the case and talk to him. I'll see her tonight at band practice and get the latest.

Either it's the murderer, or we just ratted out a guy who only wanted to go for a skate.

Woo-hoo!

Something's working! I can fit into my jeans again! Zippity-freakin'-doo-dah!

Today, Sherri and I did the Rubidoux walk. It seemed easier this time. Sherri said so, too. We're going to look for other interesting places to walk in Riverside. After the walk I drove around Dean's grandma's old neighborhood. The houses (mansions) around there are soooo gorgeous. It's a beautiful neighborhood to walk in. Maybe we'll do that tomorrow.

Well, this feels very good. I have another pair of jeans hanging in the closet that are the next size down. I'm going to be really happy when I can wear those because that will mean I can wear all the clothes in my closet.

Keep going, keep going, keep going.

The rack

Yesterday, Jim and I built a rack for my giftwrap paper. It's for selling paper at Olivia's. It was a pleasant way to spend the afternoon. Jim and I always have a good time doing projects together. We should do stuff like this more often. Well, we'll probably be building more racks soon so, there ya go.

It's a nice little rack. I'm going to stain it and give it the Curioso treatment. It has 4 dowels for the 4 paper designs. Since it will be sitting up on the counter top in front of a big window I'm going to attach a piece of fabric to cover the back of the rack so the paper won't get sunbleached. We should have paper selling at Olivia's by the end of the week.

Jim and I work well together on this stuff. We're a good team. He's also been tremendously helpful and supportive with this whole Alzheimer's thing. He's always looking to make things easier for me. He spends a lot of time with Dad. This whole thing would be a very different experience if I didn't have Jim.

Thank you, Jim

Useless Boz

I found one more thing he stinks at. He's horrible on Mt. Rubidoux.

(Side note) I've been spelling Rubidoux wrong. I'm going to go back over all my old posts and fix it.

I took Boz with me on the Mt. Rubidoux walk. He pulled the whole time. He's always like this on walks. For the first 15 minutes he goes nuts. He runs around all over the place, peeing on everything in reach. He shrieks out these ultra high-pitched sonic blasts that tear through your ears. He has to challenge every dog that goes by, even the ones that could eat him whole in one bite. He pulled me up the mountain, he pulled me down the mountain. It was the pulling down the mountain that really got to me.

I had to struggle to stay upright. Even though he had settled down and wasn't screaming and peeing any more, he was still roaming all over the road. The little dim bulb wore me out. It wasn't a nice, satisfying "oh-I'm-so-good-I-exercised-today" kind of worn out. It was an "oh-gawd-I'm-going-to-lose-consciousness" kind of worn out.

Well, now I know. I took Boz yesterday evening because I thought that he, being a dog, could offer some protection since I was walking alone. Gracie can't handle a hike like that so I couldn't take her.

Gonna get some pepper spray.

Happy Birthday, Lindsay!

She turns 20 today! I'm going to take her shopping. Tonight her honey is taking her to dinner. Last night her L.A. friends took her out. She's having a good birthday. Next Saturday we'll have a party here for all the relatives and friends.

Today, Jim is auditioning for a country band. We went to highschool with the drummer. They're on the verge of hitting the big time. They play Vegas a lot and they're making some decent money. This could be a very cool thing.

I'll try to ignore the fact that it's a country band.

Gotta go take the birthday girl shopping. I'll write more after I hear about the audition.

10,000 steps

I got a pedometer yesterday. At the prediabetes class they said we should try to get in 10,000 steps every day. When we walked around Lake Evans it took about 3500 steps. This morning, Sherri and I did the Mt. Rube walk. That's a whopping 8300 steps. Pretty soon I'm going to Costco. I'll bet I'll get the rest of my steps just doing that.

Exercise is truly the magic cure for stress. As I was driving home I was thinking about the things I want to get done today. When I thought about checking on Dad I noticed that it didn't set me off. I'm cool, baby.

Boy, Sherri and I are going to have to start walking earlier in the day. It was hot up on Mt. Rubidoux. And the smog is coming back. Oh well, life in Riverside.

Setting up a system

Dad came over this morning with all his old diabetes testing stuff. Jim helped him weed through all of it to see what's still usable and what should be thrown away. Then we had him do the test himself with his new machine. It was very difficult for him. I really don't think he'll be able to do this on his own.

He wanted me to write down all the foods he can have. His blood sugar has been so out of control I think he should cut out all breads and most dairy until his numbers come down. I made a simple list of meats and veggies that he can get for himself at the grocery store. Then he started asking questions. (Insert heavy sigh here.)

Dad has a talent for adding complexity to simple, straight forward situations. At first he only wanted to know what foods are ok for him to have. But then he wanted to get into the stuff that's forbidden. He's making notes all over the simple SHOPPING LIST that I gave him. His handwriting has gotten so bad now he can't read it. So then he has to ask questions about the stuff he's already written down. We had to explain everything over and over. He wants every available piece of information but you can't give it to him because he can't handle it. Then you have to add in all the stories he wants to tell that have NOTHING to do with what you're trying to accomplish. These sessions can take hours. HOURS!

Then he wanted to go out to lunch and have us explain how to order food in restaurants. I said, "No, I've already given my whole morning to this and now I'm done." By the time he left I was ready to jump out of my skin.

Right now Jim is making a form that Dad can use to record all this stuff. It's in calendar form and has spaces to check off his meds and vitamins and to record his blood sugar numbers. He can keep it in his bathroom or in the kitchen. We've tried to make it as simple as possible. Dad likes writing things down so maybe it will work.

Later, Jim and I are going to walk around Lake Evans at Fairmount Park. My stress level is getting pretty high and exercise really helps.

Sometimes I think I should exercise three or four times a day.

I'm getting it

Today I figured out that if I ask Dad a question his answer will most likely be wrong. Every day I ask him if he's taken his meds. He always says yes. That's the easiest answer so he goes with it. Now I know I have to dig deeper.

We went to the VA for a class on how to use his new blood glucose meter. On the way there I asked him about taking his meds (he said he had) and about his eating. He ate his lunch while I drove. His lunch was potatoes left over from breakfast and a big glass of milk. I told him I didn't think that was a good meal for a diabetic. He was in a cocky mood which made it hard to talk to him about all the things he should be doing.

During the class we set up his new meter. There is no way he could have done this on his own. It was pretty confusing. When we were done she had everyone test their blood. Dad's blood sugar was 431! We waited a few minutes and then tested it again. It had come down to 345. I asked him again if he had taken his diabetes medication this morning. He said he probably hadn't. My blood pressure took a little bounce.

We stayed after class so Dad could ask the nurse lots of questions and then not listen to the answers. He wanted her to explain the entire diabetes diet. She said he could come to their diabetes lifestyle class. She told him it's a six hour class. He said, "Sure, I'll come. That's great! Whatever it takes!" Hold on there, bub. Who's going to be sitting in that class with you for six hours?

On the way home he wanted to know EVERYTHING about what he shouldn't be eating. He want's it all written out on a big list he can keep in the kitchen. Not so cocky now!

We have to take Dad's care to the next level. I don't think he can deal with getting his own food anymore. He can't grasp the diet. He won't be able to handle testing his blood himself. His med schedule confuses him.

The Aracept is giving him intestinal problems. I'm going to call the geriatric doc tomorrow and see if he can be switched to Namenda.

Days like today are pretty stressful. When I'm done I really want to be done. But often what happens is Dad will come over and want to hang out. Sometimes he invents some little problem that he wants us to deal with. I understand that he's lonely so I try to be patient with him but, EEEEK, it really makes me tense. We're still at the beginning of this Alzheimer's thing. The day is coming when most of our time will be devoted to taking care of Dad. I don't feel too guilty about being a little selfish right now.

Mt. Rubidoux Mondays

I took Boz with me to hike up Mt. Rubidoux. Just as I was getting ready to start up the hill Jeff showed up. Since I was going to have company on my walk I left Boz in the car. I'd rather enjoy a nice conversation with Jeff than deal with a dopey dog.

It was a nice walk. We talked a lot about our geriatric parents (his mom, my dad). Their problems are different but their ability to drive their kids nuts is about the same.

We think having a regular Monday Mt. Rube walk would be a good thing. He wants to get more of his friends involved and I want to get Jim walking with me. Sherri even said she'd like to walk on Monday evenings. Well, whatever happens, I'll be there. It's a good hike and I always feel great after I'm done. And now that the time has changed it won't be so dark coming down, although it might be nice sometimes to hang around at the top and watch the sunset and check out the city lights. The view is very pretty at night.

Goin' to Texas

Tickets have been purchased, relatives have been notified. I'm taking Dad to Texas so he can see his sister, Ruth. She's 86 and isn't in very good health. This may be the last time he sees her. Ruth is my godmother and has always been my most favorite relative. It's sad to see her in her decline but that's the way it goes.

We're leaving May 11th and returning on the 17th. I'm going to take a couple days and go see Dean. I enjoy most of my relatives but we're going to be there a week and a break in the middle of the visit will be nice. And hey, it's Dean! And Austin. I do like Austin.

Today is the air show. We've been getting strafed. Lots of big, noisy planes flying low. Ooh yeah!

Dede and David are here today trying to make some sense out of Dad's finances. We'll probably go to dinner later.

Adios to the Pope.

Geriatrics

This morning was Dad's appointment with the geriatric doc. The meeting went well and we both liked her. At first, Dad talked to her a lot about his cataracts. She doesn't really have much to do with that but she updated his info on the computer so their system will keep moving the process forward. Dad's blood pressure is much better (133/75) so they can go ahead and schedule the surgery. The eye clinic is closed right now because they're moving into a new building. We can try to get an appointment after Monday.

Then we started talking about Dad's AD. She'd ask him some questions and then look at me to see if he was answering honestly, which many times he wasn't. This made me like her a LOT. When I was telling her about Dad's stumbling he made a motion against his lips meaning I shouldn't share that with her. He did it again when I was telling her about Dad having trouble handling his finances. I said, "No, Dad, I'm not going to do that. I'm going to tell her everything." She jumped on him and told him that now is not the time to hide things and that she was there to help him. We talked about managing his meds and getting his diabetes under control.

She left the room briefly to get the nurse to come in and test his blood. While she was out he started telling me I was sharing too much information. I told him I'm not going to play games and I'm not going to lie AND I'm going to tell my siblings that he's doing this. That pissed him off but he had to hold it together because the doctor came back in.

His blood sugar was at 330. He said he had taken his meds this morning but after we got home he called me and said he found this morning's diabetes pill in his pocket. No wonder his blood sugar was so high!

The doctor told me I need to manage his meds and make sure his blood gets tested regularly. Tomorrow morning we're going to a class so he can learn how to use this new testing device they're going to give him. She gave me a log to record the numbers in. He started to grab it but she yanked it away telling him it's now my job.

I'm going to create some kind of log that will keep track of his meds, vitamins and blood sugar tests all in one book. I'll have to keep it at our house because if Dad has access to it he will write all over it and screw it up.

Just a little bit stressed right now.

Just whining

Don't you just hate it when other people's problems become yours?

Both girls have boyfriends who are having problems at home. One of them has a mom who is a bit of a nut job (I know, I've talked to her on the phone) and the other has a mom who is too lazy to take care of her son properly and also has a boyfriend who is wanted by the police. There isn't much we can do to help these situations but we end up dealing with the drama generated by them.

Paige wanted to bring home a rat as a pet. I reeeally don't want to take on caring for another animal, especially one that our three cats and Bozzie would love to tear to shreds. I let her know how I felt about it but she decided to apply Paige's Patented Persistent Pressure Pestering technique to see if she could get me to say yes. Jim helped me out of that one but it still left me feeling like the walls were closing in.

Then she decided she wanted a snake. I'm not squeemish about snakes. I just don't want another animal around here. Especially one that requires special care, like feeding it live food. No, no, no. She didn't pressure me too much on this one, remembering how miffed I got about the rat issue.

Tomorrow morning I'm going to the VA with Dad for his appointment at the Geriatric Clinic. I'm betting this will take up most of the day. We also have to deal with Dad's finances and his taxes. Dede and David are coming down this weekend to have a look at that and to try to convince Dad that the time to retire from the tree business is now.

But hey, we've made some progress with the giftwrap business. Today we got rejected by the first national distributor that I gave a paper sample to. At least the guy was real nice about it.

I dropped some samples off at a specialty shop that sells Mexican stuff. The guy said he'd show it to his partner. Don't call us, we'll call you. I also dropped in at Olivia's and talked to her about selling the paper in her restaurant. She's all for it, we just have to build a rack that will fit on her counter top. Woo-hoo, success!

It will be ok. Must remember to breathe.

Morning walk

Sherri and I walked up Rubidoux this morning. First she fixed me a nice breakfast and then we went walking. We went to the top this time. That's 4 miles round trip.

I can barely move.

Airplanes

The Riverside Air Show is on Saturday. The participants have started to show up and it's really cool. We've got vintage planes flying around all over the place. There wil be a lot more showing up in the next few days. Last year on the day before the show it was airplane crazy here. Everybody was practicing their routines at the same time ALL DAY. They make their turns right in front of the house. I love living next to the airport.

For those of you who haven't seen where I live, we're at the edge of town next to Riverside Airport. We don't get big commercial jets there, only light planes and the occasional private jet. The police helicopter is also based there. Dad's land is right next to the landing approach so we see planes making their final turn and coming in for a landing. They're very quiet and it's a nice addition to our view.

On the day before the air show it sounds like Snoopy vs. the Red Baron all day long. The vintage planes are much louder and bigger than the light planes we're used to. And these guys are flying pretty low. I love it!

Today Jim and I took two turns around the field and then I grabbed Dad and took him around two times. Yesterday Jim and I went to a pre-diabetes class at Kaiser. They have an exchange diet that I don't really like. I'm going to adapt it a little and just count up the carbs, protein and fat and to hell with those exchanges. I'm going to read The Zone again and see if that will work for me. And I'm exercising. Last night Rubidioux, today 4 times around the field. I'm on a roll! Tomorrow, if Sherri doesn't flake out we'll do Rubidoux. I'll go no matter what.

Ew. They had us weigh ourselves before the class. Ew, ew, ew! It's a great big scale that looks like it could be used in a feed store for weighing big sacks of grain. You could weigh the champion pumpkin on this scale. Thanks a helluva lot. Like I wasn't already feeling bad enough attending a pre-diabetes class.

C'mere, Dumbo, hop on.

Evening hike

I walked up Mt. Rubidoux this evening. I was supposed to walk with a group that meets there on Mondays and starts up the hill at 6pm sharp. I got there about 10 minutes early. I decided to go ahead and not wait for the group because I figured if I waited to start with them they'd leave me in the dust.

It started getting dark just as I got high enough to see the view. I made it around the back of the hill in time to see the sunset. Gorgeous. When I got to the south side of the hill I could see the big airport light that's right by our house. It was just wonderful up there. I think I like the night time view better.

When I started down it was really dark. I must remember to bring a flashlight next time. The park closes after dark but there were a lot of people starting up the hill as I was just getting to the bottom. I guess they don't enforce the hours.

Whew! My body be creakin' and groanin'. That's quite a walk.

Hot bath, good idea.

Happy Easter

Today we had the traditional Easter egg hunt with our daughters ages 14 and 20 (almost). I swear, I'm going to be hiding eggs for these girls when I'm 82.

I didn't feel like going out the storage container at midnight to search for their Easter baskets so I used a couple of wooden cherry baskets I had in the hall closet. They're really too small for Easter baskets but that's all I had. I managed to get all their goodies in the baskets but didn't have enough room for the Peeps. I got a couple of bamboo skewers from the kitchen and made Peep-kabobs and stuck them in the baskets. The girls appreciated my ingenuity.

I got each of them a tiny stuffed bunny. We're talking 99 cent cheapo bunnies. Paige's bunny started falling apart almost immediately. Instead of stitching it back up she decided she wanted burn it up in the barbeque, which I guess was appropriate because she had stuck her Peep skewer into the bunny. We took it outside and gently and reverently placed it in the barbeque. Jim doused it with what I thought was a bit too much gasoline and handed Paige the lighter. Her decision to chicken out was correct. Can you say "conflagration"? It was hard to get close enough to look at it. After it lost its bunny shape it looked like an angry, burning alien and it smelled like a whole package of burning foam cups.

Now the girls are out with their boyfriends and Jim and I are here having a lazy day. Maybe I'll go out and plant something. Gotta use up those sixpacks.

The birthday party

The afternoon was mostly pleasant. The food was good, we had margaritas. I gave Kenny a lei (insert joke here).

In addition to all of us and Kenny and Bernie, the guests were Bernie's daughter, Jackie, and her husband, and Bernie's granddaughter, Trish, and her husband and kids. That's it. Ken had told Kenny to invite his friends, as many people as he wanted. So, for Kenny's special day, Bernie's family!

From what we can see, they don't like her much.

Paige and Lindsay showed up a little later. We had Paige's bells in the car so she played a couple pieces in honor of Kenny's birthday. Of course, she wowed her audience. Later this talented, polite kid was chatting with Kenny, Bernie and a few others when Bernie noticed her ring and asked about it. Paige said it was a dragon ring. Bernie said, "Is that the symbol of your gang?"

The woman is freakin' braindead.

Ken and Sherri put a lovely party together for Kenny. Jim and I helped with the food and decorating. We bought him a nice gift. Bernie pulled Ken aside and told him that it hurt Kenny's feelings that the boys didn't call him on his actual birthday two days ago. She lectured Ken for several minutes about this. We don't think Kenny had his feelings hurt because he knew that in two days his kids were giving a nice party for him. We do think that Bernie, as usual, was talking out of her ass.

Later, after everyone else had gone home, Jim, Ken and Kenny were having some "guy time" at the computer while Sherri and I sat with Bernie in the living room. She yammered at us nonstop for about an hour. She kept going on and on about how kids aren't disciplined in the schools any more. She thinks people should be beating the crap out of their kids, I guess. Every once in a while she would change the subject but she would always return to the discipline thing.

She is seriously losing it. We're a little concerned because Kenny's health is bad and hers isn't all that great either. They aren't married and she owns Kenny's condo. If she dies, will he have a place to live? The time is coming when we're going to have to have a serious talk with Kenny about his future.

(sigh) All this is old stuff. It's been going on for 19 years. When she's gone, we'll be happy. That's all there is to it.

Ah, Spring.

I planted flowers today. Nothing says Spring like a carload of sixpacks.

Oh, baby, where have you been all my life?
http://www.brawnyman.com/innocentescapes/player.aspx?mID=35

Band practice tonight. Tomorrow is Jim's dad's birthday party. Woo-hoo, we're spending the day with Bernie!

Letter to the VA patient advocate

This is the letter we composed this morning. Jim is so good at this


I am writing this on behalf of my father, Stanley A. Lang.
On Tuesday March 8, I accompanied my father on an appointment with his primary care physician, Dr. George Isaac. My father is currently being evaluated for Alzheimer's. We felt that Dr. Isaac's behavior towards my father and me was rude and disrespectful. When we tried to talk to him, he would interrupt us and raise his voice while telling us "you must listen to me." Since my father has Alzheimer's he doesn't always grasp what is being said to him immediately and he has a tendency to ramble. Dr. Isaac lost his patience several times during his visit and wouldn't listen to my father or me when we tried to explain what was going on with my father's health. He then tried to cut the visit short even though I had produced a written list of other concerns that needed addressing.

My father needs cataract surgery, but in order to receive it, Dr. Isaac said that he can't have any other conditions, such as his high blood pressure. Yet even though his blood pressure was high, all Dr. Isaac did to try to lower it was increase the dosage of his prostate medicine. My brother-in-law is a physician, and he said that increasing the dosage of his prostate medicine really isn't going to be sufficient to bring his blood pressure down. We feel that Dr. Isaac should have prescribed something that would be more effective at lowering my father's blood pressure, so that his vision can be restored.

I have never had an experience with a doctor that was as bad as this one. It seems inexcusable to us for Dr. Isaac to be so dismissive and short-tempered with an Alzheimer's patient. My father and I have discussed this at length, and we both feel that he needs to be assigned to a new primary care physician.

Thank you,

- Donita Smith

Mt. Rubidoux

I am woman, hear me roar.

I did better than I thought I would. I walked up the road instead of taking the trail. I didn't get all the way to the top because they were doing some construction on the bridge that crosses over the road and I didn't feel like tripping over the rubble and orange cones. It was still a three mile walk, half of it uphill.

It was gorgeous! Lots of stormy looking clouds in the sky and the view of Riverside was ever so clear. It really is a beautiful walk. At the beginning, just before starting up the hill there was this creepy looking kid (maybe 17 years old) sitting on a stone wall. He stood up as I walked by. He looked kind of squirrely to me so I reached down and picked up a rock. He turned and walked the other way. When I came back down he was still there, kind of shuffling back and forth. I started looking around for another rock when a girl came jogging down the road. She stopped when she saw him. I said, "How 'bout you and I walking together past this guy?" She thought that was a good idea. I found a nice chunk of cement and picked it up. Again, the kid turned and walked away. She and I walked the rest of the way down the hill and had a nice chat. Man, that kid was creepy. Next time, I'm bringing a dog.

Today is Drew's birthday. Happy Birthday, Drew! Tonight we're going to Olivia's for dinner.

Lots of phone calls

We screwed up. We found out that just because Dad has a Medicare card it doesn't mean he can use it.

On Monday we went to see Dr. Ibrahim. He's the neurologist that Drew and Mindy recommended. We gave them Dad's Medicare card and thought that everything was ok. Turns out it wasn't. Dad has Blue Cross and is enrolled with the Riverside Physician's Network. His primary care doc doesn't refer to Dr. Ibrahim. Without a referral Blue Cross won't pay and neither will Medicare. The day we saw Dr. Ibrahim Dad also got an EEG and some blood work. Now we're stuck with a big bill.

Oops.

Today we made a bunch of phone calls to try to get this straightened out. We're gettin' educated. If he changes his primary doc he can still see Dr. Ibrahim and Blue Cross will pay for it. Or he can keep the primary doc and see a different neurologist. Dr. Ibrahim's office will send the claim through to Blue Cross which they will probably deny. They'll send Dad a denial letter. After that we can appeal the denial.

This took all morning. I'm already worn out. Sherri is working on painting something today so she's unavailable for the Rubidoux hike. I think I'll do it anyway. I need to work off some stress. Three times up and down the mountain oughta do it.

Actually, if I make it halfway up it'll be a miracle.

Shallow thoughts

I'm getting tired of everything being so heavy and significant. I want to think shallow thoughts and do something meaningless. In Santa Rosa I'd get together with the girlfriends once a month for a Stitch and Bitch luncheon. We'd drink wine and eat good food have a good cackle. I could use one of those right now. I'm not saying this activity was shallow and meaningless. It was an escape from heavy significantness.

Tomorrow I want to clean up the studio so I can get started on a project. I'm going to make a ukulele case for Jeff. I have it all planned out in my head and I have a pattern and measurements of the ukulele. It isn't shallow and meaningless but it is something that has nothing to do with Alzheimer's. I've been babysitting his tenor uke for a couple months now. He's going to give it to me in exchange for making the case for this other uke, which has an unusual shape.

On Wednesday, Sherri and I are going to walk up Mt. Rubidioux. We have made a pact. At least once a week we will do some kind of vigorous exercise together. For now, it's hiking the Rube. This will help with the significant heaviness.

Ok, this is better.

This morning we met with the doc that Drew and Mindy recommended. He did some tests, nothing too involved, just quick stuff in his office. Later Dad is going back for an EEG. He's also getting some blood work done. He gave Dad some samples of Aricept so he can get started right away. This is what we've been wanting- A doctor with a human heart who won't stuff Dad into a system. We'll see him again in a few weeks.

Property taxes

This morning Dad got a cold call from a real estate agent. This guy had been snooping around the county records and found that Dad hadn't paid his property taxes last December. Dad talked to him for a while and then called me. Jim and I think this guy is probably preying on the elderly. I got his phone number from Dad and called him and left a message on his machine. I haven't heard back from him yet. If he calls Dad again he's going to tell the guy he needs to talk to me.

But the good thing is, he gave us a heads up about the property taxes. Dad and I went downtown and got everything caught up. We need to make sure we watch the mail for stuff like that.

We had some time left on the parking meter so I suggested we take a walk. I'm trying to get some exercise in whenever we get the chance. We walked around a couple of the big blocks downtown. I was watching Dad's steps and warning him about the curbs. I also reminded him to pick up his feet and allow his arms to swing at his sides. At one point there was a construction sign lashed to a sawhorse in the middle of the sidewalk. He moved to avoid it but ended up falling on it. I tried to hang on to him while we danced around on the sidewalk and ended up with him clutching the sign and me holding him up from behind. I'm wondering if a cane would be a good idea.

After that we went to lunch and then to the grocery store. He said he wanted to go get a haircut but I was ready to go home. He said he'd deal with it later. Drew's truck was still here and Dad had the key. Later in the day Drew showed up with Dad's car. He wanted to get his truck back but Dad had taken it to go get his haircut. Dad hadn't told me that he was going to take Drew's truck and I didn't know that he had left. I'm thinking that Dad didn't really have Drew's permission to drive his truck and that Drew might be a little miffed. I guess I'll find out later.

Monday we have an appointment with a different doctor. A non VA doctor. Drew and Mindy set this appointment up. This guy was Mindy's dad's doc and they say he's really good. We were going to wait until after the VA appointment but since they were able to get him in we decided to take it. I'm looking forward to this one.

Exercise

I made Dad go for a walk today. He came over to dry his laundry and we started talking about his cataracts and getting his blood pressure down. I told him he should do a circuit around the back field every day. He said he'll start doing it after Debbie leaves. I said how about today? He said how about tomorrow. I said how about now? He hadn't eaten lunch yet. I sent him home to eat and then we went for a walk. He did two circuits around the field. His choice.

He was walking with his hands clamped behind his back and he was shuffling. Every once in a while he would stumble. I told him to let his arms swing when he walks to help with his balance and to walk heel to toe. The shuffling was too jarring and I think that was contributing to the stumbling problem. He did much better after that. I had to keep reminding him, though.

He was pretty tired after the walk but I don't think it was too hard for him. The exercise will be good for his blood pressure and his diabetes. It won't do me any harm either. For his safety I'm going to have to go with him. At one point he almost fell over.

Tonight is Debbie and Bob's last night here so we're going out to dinner after the Little League game.

Ah... But don't breathe too deeply in Dad's house.

The citrus trees are blooming. Man, it smells great around here!

Paige got her braces off today! She be happy. Her teeth look great! Well, they'd better, after spending $3500.

Today Debbie and I snooped around Dad's house and gathered up as much as we could find of all the chemicals he's got stashed around there. Debbie and Bob have done a LOT in Dad's house this week. Bob's been doing repairs and today he changed the deadbolts so the house won't be a death trap. Debbie's been cleaning and organizing and getting the poisons out of the house.

That has been one thing that's been driving us all nuts. Dad has herbicides, pesticides, motor oil, fertilizers and other scary chemicals stashed around the house in all kinds of TOTALLY inappropriate places. He's got them in his dresser drawers, in his file cabinets, plant food in with his dishes, a big bottle of bleach in his bedroom closet, stuff mixed up in spray bottles and icky chemicals in containers that were originally intended for food.

They've got everything set on shelves in Dad's downstairs closet. At least now it's not in his living space.

Debbie and I also had a real good talk about some of our personal history. Dad and Bob had gone to the store so we had a lot of time alone. Good stuff, very productive. Juicy bits!

Later I drove Drew's truck and took them on a Riverside nostalgia tour. We cruised around downtown, the Mission Inn, Fairmount Park, Redwood ave., Mt. Rubidoux and finished up with the old neighborhood. When we got home Carlos came walking up with some creepy guy. Carlos and Rosa had been working in the field and stumbled across him. Scared Rosa to death. Carlos was questioning him when we drove up. He said he had done some work here some years back but he didn't know Dad. Something was way off about this guy. Carlos said the guy had been talking to himself. We all talked to him for a while and followed him down the driveway to make sure he left. Bob, Debbie and Dad got in the truck and drove up Central towards the airport to see where he went. They saw him sitting by the road, drinking. They called the cops but he was gone by the time they showed up.

So, was he like, camping in the Christmas trees? What was the nut job doing up there at dusk?

I reeeally hope he stays away.

The beau spends the night.

When we came home from the restaurant last night Lindsay's boyfriend was here. He's been having trouble at home so, could he spend the night here? I've been hearing about his problems with his mom for a while so this was no surprise. I had Jon dial up his dad so I could talk to him. I guess they've all been driving each other nuts. The dad said the mom was going to call me later but she never did. So, Jon stayed in the studio last night.

We don't want this to become a habit.

It's been two years.

Today is the second anniversary of Jim losing his job. To celebrate we are going to the Spunky Steer to consume red meat.

Seems appropriate.

Sunday's visit.

After lunch everyone came over. David took Dad into the office to try to find his medical insurance info. Turns out his Medicare is still current so he can start using it again and get his own doctor. He can still get his meds through the VA.

While they were in the office the rest of us walked around the house and made a list of Dad's possessions that have any value. We needed that info to finish up the trust. After that we went out and toured the farm. We looked at the Debbie field to see if it was a viable place for RV storage. It could be a quick source of income for Dad.

Then we walked around the barnyard. Stacey and I knew what to expect but I think Debbie was a little shocked. We filled her in on the Timio situation and she feels the same way the rest of us do. Timio's presence here is a drain on Dad's resources and something needs to be done about it. It's a very sensitive subject with Dad. He thinks Timio does a lot for him with the farm so he thinks it's worth it to have him here. We strongly disagree. It will be a happy day for me when we can finally tell Timio adios.

We talked a lot about how to get rid of all the scrap metal. Drew and I are going to handle that one. He's going to mark it all with spray paint. We're going to put an ad in the paper for "free scrap, you haul" and have our phone number on the ad. As for the rest of the stuff, we'll just have to get in there and get to work. First we'll tell Timio to get his crap out of there and then we'll do the rest. I suggested we divide the whole project up into sections so it's not so overwhelming.

It's still going to be a battle working with Dad. Yesterday I asked him about this tv that was sitting on the bricks around his fireplace. I asked if it works. He said, "What difference does it make?" His tone was confrontational. I said, "Why are you asking me that?" He gave me a little more crap and then backed down and gave me a straight answer. I think he was showing off for the sibs. Mr. Tough Guy.

The selfish part of me sometimes wishes he was a little more "gone" so we could just step in and get it all done. Getting him started on meds will help him hang onto what he still has. But what he has now can be pretty darned hard to work with!

The Big Meeting

It was a good meeting. Of course, I was the first one to get emotional but I still managed to get my points across. I've given this stuff a lot of thought so I knew what I wanted to say.

I got pretty mad at Dad at one point. We were talking about cleaning up his house, something he had agreed to when it was just the two of us talking. In front of everyone else he decided to dig in and resist it. His house, that BIG house, is stuffed to the gills with STUFF. He wanted to have final say on everything that will be thrown away. Man, if we did it that way it would never get done. I told him he couldn't have final say on throwing out old crap and that we wouldn't throw away anything that was important to him. We're going to be there working our asses off so he'll have an easier time living in his house. We're not going to get his ok on every item. He started going into the same bullshit that he's been saying for years whenever we'd complain about all the clutter in his house. I wasn't going to put up with any of that so I barked at him pretty good. Maybe it wasn't the best reaction but I'm ok with it.

We're not going to move in next door until it's clear that Dad really can't live on his own. Monday, Bob is going to change the deadbolts on Dad's doors. He has those awful deadbolts that can only be opened with a key. We're also getting smoke alarms.

We're going to do what we can to AD proof the house but there are some things that will still be dangerous, like his oven and stove. He's been storing cans of Coke in his lower oven, Debbie said when she got up this morning the upper oven was on warm and the door was open. She thinks when he was up last night he got cold so he turned the oven on. All kinds of possibilities for disaster are present with that one.

The other thing that worries me is the stove. It's this horrible, monster stove that has a solid glass top. It heats up super fast. It has those burners that light up with this nuclear orange glow when they're turned to high. When you turn it off the burner is still hot! it has a light on the controls to warn you but it's not very noticeable. The surface is a big, black slab of glass that is the perfect spot to plop down papers, groceries or anything else you might have in your hand when you come in the door.

It was kind of funny this afternoon. When I first got there everyone was in the kitchen looking at pictures and stuff. We chatted for a while and then decided it was time to fix dinner. The guys left the room (of course) and the sisters got to work getting out food and dishes and setting up our individual work stations. Funny how natural that comes to all of us. Since Dad was just out of earshot we all started up with these funny little whispering conversations with each other while we were puttering around. We were just talking about different things that happened with Dad and exchanging ideas but it all seemed so conspiratory. It made me laugh hearing all the pssss, pssss, psssss stuff flying around the kitchen.

Women.

We got a lot handled tonight but it also brought up a whole new set of things that need to get done. I guess that's the way it's going to be from now on. Tomorrow they're all coming here to walk around the farm. David can get a look at the house and see what else needs to be done to insure Dad's safety.

It was a very good meeting. It got pretty serious a few times. It felt good to talk it all out with them. I do have a good family.

There's more, but it's late.

Not much going on.

Debbie and Bob are here. We're all mainly hanging around and doing a lot of chatting. We're not playing at Pepito's tonight but we may still go over to Ken's and practice. Just not too much happening around here today.

Dede and David will be here late tonight. Tomorrow is our family meeting. I guess everybody's saving it until then.

I'm snoozy.

Another long day

First thing this morning I took Dad to the VA to get blood drawn. Then we grabbed breakfast and headed to the airport to pick up Debbie and Bob. We came home and hung around a while and then went to the boy's softball game. After that we all went to dinner at Olivia's.

When Dad wasn't around I was able to have some pretty good conversations with Debbie and Bob about Dad's situation. I think it's going to be a very productive visit. Dede and David are coming late Friday and Saturday we're having the big family meeting at Stacey's.

Hoo boy, I'm tired.

Paging Dr. Soup Nazi

I could bust a vein.

I went with Dad to his doctor's appointment today. This guy was one arrogant SOB and that's putting it mildly. I was trying to have what I thought was a normal conversation with him and he yelled at me, "Don't talk when I'm talking! You must listen to me!" Then Dad tried to talk to him about getting his cataract surgery scheduled and he yelled at Dad, "I don't have anything to do with that! You must listen to me!" The whole visit went pretty much like that. He yelled at Dad and then said, "Ok, I'm going to have the nurse come take your blood pressure now." WTF?????

He went through everything that he already had in Dad's records and then got up and said, "Come on, we're going to send you to the pharmacy now. Come on."
I said, "What? You're done?"
Him- "Yes, I'm done."
Me- "WELL, WE'RE NOT DONE!!!"

The dickhead almost dropped his clipboard.

I had a whole list of things we needed to talk about. Dad has a huge, doughy lump on his elbow. He'll have to see the rheumatologist for that. I asked how we do that. He yelled, "It's in the system! They'll contact you!". I asked about his Alzheimer's evaluation and getting Dad into the Geriatric Clinic. Guess what? It's in the system! They'll contact you! We talked about Dad not being able to drive. Dad was really trying hard to understand but this is an emotional issue for him and he didn't listen to every word this sorry puke was yelling. The doc said, "This is where I get really mad at my patients. You have to listen to me!"

So, he KNOWS that Dad has AD but he's going to get really mad at him and yell at him because Dad doesn't quite get what he's saying???? This guy is the WORST doctor in the WORLD! There were several times during the visit where I was talking and he interrupted me. I'd stop, then let him finish and then start over again. I'm sure if I had yelled YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO ME he would have called security.

I took notes and will give the full report to the sibs when we're all together. We got Dad's prescriptions refilled and he got a chest xray. Tomorrow we're going back for blood work. He can't get the cataract surgery done until his blood pressure comes down.

MY blood pressure is pretty freakin' high right now.

No Klones

Big oops. Ken booked the Klones for Friday but there are no Klones available. Looks like it's Casual Sunday on Friday. But will we have a drummer? We're going to try to get Brian there but he's usually tied up on Fridays. Also, there's the little problem of him being just 15. His mommy might not want him playing in a bar on a Friday night. We wouldn't get finished until 1:00 AM. We might try to get Eddie, the drummer we jammed with a couple weeks ago.

Stay tuned.

The Aviator

We saw that yesterday. I was underwhelmed. I don't get Leonardo Di Caprio. Yeah, ok, he did a fine acting job but all the acting in the world can't cover up the fact that he looks like a giant baby to me. Maybe in 10 years he'll look like an adult. The skewed color in the first half of the movie was distracting. It made me want to go to the projection room and scream FIX IT. I liked Kate Blanchett, tho.

Afterward, Ken, Sherri, Jim and I went out for Thai food. Then we went to their house and sat on the patio drinking champagne. We talked about band stuff and got silly. I needed that.

I only talked to Dad once yesterday when I called to check on him. He seemed fine. He took all his vitamins and meds. This morning he got his own ride to church. I probably won't see him until late this afternoon. This is good, I needed a break.

I wrote to Dean this morning that these days I feel like I have a five foot long piece of string tied to me with little piece of cardboard attached to the end. The cardboard drags on the ground or sometimes flutters in the wind. I can get through my day but I'm always aware of it and sometimes I have to stop what I'm doing and deal with untangling it.

The Klones are playing Friday at Pepito's. We don't know if Tony will be there. Even if he is, Ken wants me there to sing back up. So, if they want to, Debbie, Dede and David can come to Pepito's and see the Klones.

I'm sure they'll be thrilled.

Costco

I took Dad to Costco today. He really enjoyed it. What a freakin' flirt! Every time we turned down another aisle he found some woman to put the moves on. Ok, it wasn't that bad but he was putting out that Continental vibe.

I took him there because I wanted to load him up on precooked meats that he could keep in his freezer. He always has the same boring stuff in his fridge so I thought it would be good for him to have more to choose from that would be easy to prepare. I think he's going to be happy with what he bought.

Afterwards we went to Applebee's for lunch. It was a good shopping trip and it got him out of the house for a few hours. He seemed brighter today. Still searching for words but his conversation was easy and cheerful. He's even remembering to take his vitamins and meds on his own. Well, today anyway.

Band practice tonight. We need a new drummer. Brian is losing interest. Danged teenagers.

A Zoloft kind of day

Got the blues. Just a bit. I've been feeling lately like nothing in my life is working. It's ok, it will pass. There are a number of contributing factors and if I knock some of them out it will help get me unstuck. I feel better now than I did this morning.

I went to Kaiser and got another blood test. Now I can make an appointment for a physical. I want to see what I can do about my weight besides go on yet another diet that will probably fail. I want to get some prescriptions refilled. I want to see if my doctor will shoot my elbow full of cortisone and make it better. This elbow thing is a big fat drag. I want to be able to be Dad's caregiver without letting myself get dragged down.

He was actually doing better today. He managed to take all his vitamins without me having to explain how to do it.

The owner of Mrs. Tiggy Winkles gave some samples of my paper to one of her sales reps. The sales rep called me today. She said she works locally and won't be going to her main office in L.A. for another week or so. But she said she'll show her boss my paper. Fingers crossed.

We cleaned out the car and I got the laundry under control. These are small things but they do make a difference. I think this is the kind of stuff that helps the most. Clear away some of the overwhelm.

Now I am going to put clean sheets on the bed. Clean sheets are a treatment for depression.

Very foggy

Dad's thinking was pretty cloudy today. I set his vitamins up in the easiest way possible (at least it seemed that way to me) and he just couldn't grasp it. I went over there and set his lunch time dose out on the counter on top of a note that said EAT LUNCH AND TAKE THESE VITAMINS. He came into the kitchen, picked up the vitamin packet and moved it aside. Then he picked up the note and asked what it was about. I had him get his lunch and then I sat with him while he ate and took the vitamins. If this is going to work at all I'm going to have to go over there every day and hand him the vitamins and stay with him until he takes them. This curcumin experiment will need a lot of supervision.

The realtor came over today. Dad decided he'd rather watch the boys' softball practice so Drew, Scotty, Jim and I walked around the farm with the realtor. It was a good meeting. He's going to do some research and get back to us. He knows of a guy who needs a couple acres real soon to store cars. Dad could live quite comfortably off that rent alone. Then he could take his time deciding what to do with the rest of the property. When I told Dad about it he said we should try to talk the guy into renting 4 acres. Heh, heh! Scotty was right. Put a dollar sign on the idea and Dad's all over it. I think he's pretty tired of having no money.

Eternal sunshine...

Tonight we watched Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind. I really enjoyed it. We've got the dvd until Sunday so I'm going to watch it again. It's a little weird seeing it after dealing with Dad's situation. The visuals are full of stuff falling apart and holes in Jim Carey's memory. It seemed like it might be a good representation of what the Alzheimer's experience must be like. Good movie.

We've got a realtor coming tomorrow. Good!!! Things will make another jump forward.

Brain pills

I gathered up all Dad's vitamins and brought them here. I read all the labels and added up the dosages to make sure we don't OD him on this stuff. Then I put everything into little plastic bags so it was all organized. I put all those into paper bags and labeled them. I took them all to his house and cleaned up his kitchen and got all the crap off the counters. The bags are lined up there now. I'll check on him every day to make sure he's taking them correctly.

He's been pretty good about throwing stuff away. While I was there cleaning he let go of a huge jar of hot sauce packets. At first he said he wanted to give it to Goodwill! I convinced him that the poor really don't need his packets.

It will be good when we can get his house cleaned. There's way too much visual confusion right now. Hell, I feel like MY brain is draining away when I'm there!

Ok, today he started on curcumin and a bunch of other stuff. We'll see if it makes any difference.

Yeeesh!

Today Dad and I went to Harold's office to sign off on the taxes. Harold wasn't there so Vicki handled it. The penalties came to $3500! Major ouch. I again suggested to Dad that he give up the Christmas tree business and lease his land and hire a property manager. At first he was agreeable but later changed his mind. He wants to turn all the business stuff over to Harold. Vicki told him they could do that but all the information they would need would still have to come from Dad.

When we were driving home Dad was saying what a relief it was to know he could have everything sent to Harold directly. I reminded him that it would still be up to him to get his sales figures and payroll info to Harold and we don't know how well he will be a year from now. He thinks he still needs to have employees to do all the work with the trees. I told him if he lets the trees go he wouldn't have to hire someone to take care of them. He said, "How will that make money? It doesn't just fall out of the sky, you know." He was starting to get mad. Again I explained to him about leasing his land and hiring a management company to collect the rent for him. It went around a couple times more like that.

He thinks he's going to stay on top of things so that next year he can just hand over his figures to Harold. I know it ain't gonna be that way and NONE of us wants to take over his tree business. Even today he got a past due notice from the State Board of Equalization concerning the timber tax. He needs to report the total tree footage that was sold. He doesn't know where that information is! I already spent an hour today looking through his files for his resale number, which I found only because I got lucky.

I went to Clark's and got a bunch of supplements that are supposed to be good for Alzheimer's. Tomorrow I'm going to organize his vitamins and try to make it easier for him to take them. I got the Curcumin. I Googled it and read about it last night. Man, that stuff is good for everything! At least that's what the hippies at the vitamin companies say.

Pepito's

We had a good time today. Our regular drummer couldn't make it so we dragged Paige kicking and screaming up on the stage. Ok, so she wasn't kicking and screaming, but she didn't really want to do it. It's been a while since she played drums and she didn't want to make a fool of herself. But hey, why should she be any different than the rest of us? Besides, she did a good job.

Ricky, the screamin' guitarist from the Klones, showed up later and relieved Paige. He's a pretty good drummer. We're going to give him copies of our work CDs so he can learn our songs. We might invite him to be our drummer. Brian is really good but he's 15 and really invloved in Ramona's band. He shouldn't be hanging around with a bunch of 50 year olds, anyway. Or, we'll start looking for someone else. Ricky can be a bit loud.

During the first break I went home and got Dad. He enjoys watching us play (as long as he has ear plugs). He even bought a round of drinks for the band. He hung around for a couple hours. I took him home when it looked like he was getting tired. That's one thing that's nice about Pepito's. It's so close. Too bad that was our last performance there.

Tomorrow we're going to Clark's to find Curcumin and other supplements that fight Alzheimer's. No point waiting for the freakin' VA's geologically slow system to decide to evaluate the evaluation so they can decide if they want to evaluate something else.

The beau

We met Jon today. He's tall, good looking and very friendly. He's also sooooo young! Oh well, it could work. They're going to his house later so Lindsay can meet his parents. Jon says it's ok with them that she's 19. I wonder if they know she's turning 20 in April!

Green birdie!

The parrot was on our bird feeder this morning. He was sifting the sunflower seeds out of the wild bird mix. Well, at least he knows where the feeder is now. After he flew away I added Parrot mix to he feeder. Now the rest of the birds are confused by the big seeds and peanuts.

The rooster was also very confused. He was on the ground looking up at the feeder. Every time the parrot would squawk the rooster would answer him.

Dem birdies is funny.

Smitten

Lindsay has a new boyfriend. She's bubbly. He's 17! He a JUNIOR in highschool! Today we teased her about robbing the cradle. This boy is jailbait! Anyway, we're meeting him tomorrow.

Later...

She just came home from her date. Lordy! The girl has a definite glow. We'd better scrub up good for this boy. Gotta be presentable.

Drew came by today and took care of Dad's car. It's at the dealer getting fixed. Then they went out to lunch. That's good. Dad needs company these days.

Band practice was a bit blobby tonight. We were all low energy and excuse me but I thought Amber was kinda bitchy. We're performing on Sunday and our drummer can't make it. That means I'll be drumming on the dumbek which ain't so great because although I can keep a beat, I'm not all that interesting as a drummer. Plus, it's hard for me to drum and sing at the same time. Ken's going to make some phone calls. Gotta get a drummer.

I gotta hand it to him...

He was dealt quite a blow today and he's handled it remarkably well. I went over to check on him and he was much calmer- chipper, even. I asked him if he called the psychiatrist and he said he hadn't gotten around to it. I had read a suggestion on one of the AD websites that said taking a cab is a good idea. It might seem expensive, but if you're not paying for gas, insurance and maintenance on a car it's a pretty good deal. I told him about that and he seemed open to it. Tonight he got a ride to and from choir practice. What a trooper.

We talked a little about him moving downstairs and having us move into his house. He said he thinks he should do that real soon. I told him we could wait until we have our family meeting to figure that one out. Everyone should be in on that decision.

Tonight we jammed with some old friends from highschool. That was super fun. They want Jim to join their band but he just can't commit. He'll probably play with them occasionally. They're nice guys and good musicians.

It looks like Casual Sunday might squeek one one performance out of Pepito's this weekend. The new owner hasn't made the switchover yet, so the place is available. I would enjoy that. Our band is fun.

Groans and heavy sighs

That's what I've been doing for the last 10 minutes. I just gave Dad the news that he can't drive anymore.

I called the VA this morning to get Dad an appointment with his primary doc. They said he already has an appointment for March 8th. Then I had them switch me to the psychiatrist who heads the clinic where he got his Alzheimer's evaluation. I was suprised when the psychiatrist answered the phone (must have been a mistake. You NEVER get to talk to the VA docs on the phone). I talked to him about Dad's evaluation and bitched a bit about the intern who did it. She rushed through it because she had another patient coming in. I didn't feel like she got a good handle on Dad. Anyway, as shoddy as it was it did show that Dad has a problem and needs more evaluation.

He said he's going to recommend he go the the Geriatric Clinic and get his hearing tested and get a medication evaluation. He's also going to tell Dad's primary doc that Dad can't drive anymore and that the DMV should be notified.

The good news is the medication should (hopefully) restore some of Dad's memory after a couple months. I thought Dad would be heartened by that. Silly me.

I called Dad and told him about my conversation with the psych. He about hit the ceiling. He said this is the same as putting him in a cage. He thinks he's going to be sidelined and sit in a corner and watch the family have fun. Stuff like that. He was in a bit of a panic. He said he wants to go to a different doctor. I told him the result would be the same no matter what doctor he sees. He started trying to negotiate which of his faculties he could do without and still be able to drive, as if whatever medication they put him on could target those things. He was grasping at straws.

He's going to call the psychiatrist and try to get him to stop the process. He was hopping mad at first and I told him he couldn't call the psychiatrist and start yelling at him like he was a store clerk. By the time we ended our phone call he was mostly calmed down. I'll find out later how that conversation went. Dad also talked to Drew and I think that helped him a little.

I'm going to go clean house. Our accountant is coming over later. I'll write more when I've had a chance to digest the events of this morning.

Shit. (heavy sigh)

Drawing a blank

Dad came over 3 times today. The last visit he was here for a long time. We talked about a lot of things, mainly how to handle what's coming. It was a good talk, sometimes confrontational, but good. He often had to search for words. There were times when he'd stop talking altogether, like he was shut down.

He called tonight and he was pretty upset. He said he wasn't doing well and that he just couldn't think. He was fighting just to be able to talk to me. I said, "Is it like you're drawing a blank all the time?" He said, "Yes! That's it!" I told him he should probably just go to bed and get some rest. I told him he'll probably be brighter in the morning. That's how it's been with him. His foggyness kinda comes and goes.

I told him he could call me if he's not feeling well. He's been complaining about feeling weak all the time. Tomorrow we're going to call the VA and make some appointments.

This shutting down thing is new. I need more info. The last time I was at Kaiser I saw a flyer advertising a class on being a caregiver. We all should take a class like that. I'll look into it.

AARGH!!!

Dad called at 7:30 this morning because he wanted to know if we were going to the store. His car broke down a couple days ago and it's parked down on the street. He doesn't want to pay to have it towed to a mechanic so he's waiting for Drew to handle it. We just got the truck fixed after Dad had borrowed it and returned it with messed up electricals. Jim was already gone taking Paige to school and since I was still half asleep (really!) and didn't want him to sit at home hungry I told him to come get the truck. It took him forever to back the truck out. I stood at the kitchen window and watched him do the clutch pop cha-cha down the drive way.

Ok, we've got to do something about his car.

How long should we let him keep driving? He still seems like he's able to but the fog is closing in pretty fast. Soon it's going to be too dangerous for him to drive. And you can be sure he won't be the one to see it first. Getting his keys will be like taking a gun from Charlton Heston's cold, dead hand.

Later...

Dad just came by. He said Drew is going to deal with it tomorrow. That solves one problem.

Whew!

I spent 4 hours with Dad today trying to get financial stuff handled. First we went to the bank to see Sona, the woman who has been handling Dad's accounts for years. Sona is a little weird. I think Dad likes her because she's attractive and she flirts with him. But she seems to know her stuff so, ok. She said I couldn't be added as a second signer on Dad's accounts because that goes against the rules of the trust. We have to go back to Darling and redo it. I don't think that will be a big deal.

We had to wait to see Sona because we didn't have an appointment. We used that time to fill out some of the forms in the trust packet and talk about funeral arrangements and stuff. It was pretty productive. Having the forms in front of us made it easier to discuss these sensitive subjects. I actually talked to him about shutting down the Christmas tree business, although he thinks he can do it one more year.

I got the print outs for Dad's business account so I can add up the deposits and get the gross sales for the year. I'll do that tomorrow and call Harold with the total. Then we got lunch and then went to Harold's to drop off the payroll stuff. That's 2 things crossed off the list. Hooray!

All that took 4 hours. I'm a little OD'd on Dad right now.

After I dropped him off I went to Ken's. Jim had been there for a few hours already and they worked on a lot of music. I practiced with them for 2 hours. It was great! We worked on Sweet Talkin' Guy, It's My Party and Angel Of The Morning. Sweet Talkin' Guy is going to be freakin' awesome when we get it down.

I'm buzzy tired. A hot bath would be a good thing.

Performance Party

I've given myself something to look forward to. In Santa Rosa we used to throw performance parties. Kind of like a talent show but a couple notches higher. We knew a lot of musicians up there so for a few years we'd have a party to showcase our friends' talents. We'd have pot luck food and everyone would bring something to barbeque. We got hay bales for people to sit on and we fixed up the yard with lots of flowers. These were great parties. It's time to have one in Riverside.

Stacey and Scotty are doing some major yard rennovation with a new pool, jacuzzi and barbeque area. Fingers crossed, this will all be done by May. They have a baseball diamond at the back of their property that would be perfect for a stage and dance floor once we lay some carpet down on the dirt. We can do the hay bale thing for the stage area but we'll need to bring in some extra chairs and tables for the dining area. We'll need extra barbeques, too. No problemo.

Ooh, I'm getting into party mode. I want to do this because well, for one, it's fun, but also since we've lost Pepito's as our home venue I want the band to get some exposure. I want this party to be huge. I'm going to let all our performing friends know about it soon so they can start working on what they want to do. I want to sing a few songs with Drew. We can get some of the Barbershoppers in on it, too. Dad would like that. Jeff can do some uke stuff. Casual Sunday is the headliner. No Klones! Well, maybe a couple. I wonder if Ken will let me hire a sound guy?

Maybe we can get some Santa Rosa people to visit. Michele? Dan and Carol? Dean was just here in October but maaaybe...? Michael and Terri have family down here. Time for them to visit. Mary, Lorraine, get down here! Dave and Nancy for sure. Besides, Amelia needs to go to Disneyland. Brian!

Ok, that's enough for now.

Medication drama

Two days ago when Dad went to the VA hospital the doctor du jour sent him home with an antibiotic for his cold. This added another med for him to keep track of. He's supposed to take one a day for 10 days. This morning called for me to come over. He said he wasn't feeling well, like something was wrong. I checked out all his meds and threw away a bunch of old, expired pills. The antibiotic wasn't with his regular meds. He had it in on his desk. There were 4 pills left! He had taken 2 the first day, 3 the second and 1 today. I guess he had gotten them confused with his diabetes meds. I wrote instructions on some paper and on the pill jar.

When I came back here I told Jim what had happened. He Googled the name of the antibiotic and read what it said about overdose. It said call poison control. The woman I talked to was very helpful and said he was probably ok since he didn't have any severe symptoms. It could have been much worse. I went back to Dad's to ask him more about how he was feeling and to get the pill bottle so we could talk to the doctor about it. While I was at Dad's Jim called the VA to try to get in touch with the doc. No luck there. Some bitch on a power trip was manning the phones and wouldn't put us in touch with anything resembling an actual doctor. We hate the VA.

I called the Leeces and talked to Dede. David was out on a bike ride so I gave Dede the lowdown. She said she'd have Dave call us at Stacey's tonight. When I talked to him he said he felt Dad would be ok and to let him finish up the course of antibiotic. I got the pills back from Dad so I can make sure he takes only one a day. He can handle his regular medication routine (well, usually), we just can't add anything new. But I think it's getting to the point where we'll have to manage his meds.

We're going to have to start managing everything else, too. While Dad was snoozing in Stacey's family room we (Stacey, Drew, Mindy and me) were in the kitchen making a list of the things that need to be done to get Dad's affairs in order. If we can take care of a few things and whittle the list down things won't seem so overwhelming.

We're also going to spend some time cleaning Dad's house. I talked to him about this today and he's open to the idea. He really needs to simplify his life. His house is so full of junk and clutter he really can't function well. Also, Jim thinks it's possible that there may be some kind of environmental factor to Dad's problem. What if mold or some old improperly stored chemicals or the water is partly to blame? Also, Stacey thinks the house is just plain depressing. Cleaning it and getting rid of all the crap would probably help Dad to feel calmer, less stressful. He thinks more clearly when he's not stressed.

Sometimes Dad can seem like he's mostly normal so it almost feels like it's too soon to be taking some of these steps. But lately there have been some pretty big lapses in his memory and confusion in his thinking. I sometimes hesitate to bring these things up with him because it forces him to confront the horrible truth and I know that's so frightening for him. It almost seems cruel to do that. And yet, I think if we can present this stuff to him early and give him a chance to get used to the idea it might make his transition easier when the time comes. There's no way to know for sure if we're doing the right thing.

So, ok, we just keep going.

Klones tonight

The Klones are playing tonight. It's the last Pepito's performance. It's going to be freakin' loud and it's raining so I can't escape to the patio. Amber and I are going to do a few songs and then I'm outta there. Note to self- remember ear plugs.

We didn't make it to the bank today. I did get the payroll stuff so I can fill out the form and get it to Harold. One thing at a time, I guess.

Today there was a parrot flying around with the pigeons. It's a big ol' red headed Amazon. For a long time it was in the big pine tree next to our house. I filled the bird feeder so at least he could get some sunflower seeds. Later we went to a pet shop and bought some parrot mix. I put it in a dish and put it on the roof. He'll be able to see it from the pine tree. He came back just before it got dark so he'll probably be sleeping around here somewhere. Poor thing. I hope he survives. I doubt that I'd be able to catch him but at least he can get something to eat.

I think I have time to grab a snooze before I have to get ready to go.

Break time's over

Dad is back in the fog. Actually, he's been there for a few days. He's pretty much the same as he was before he left for Texas.

He's been sick with a pretty bad cold. Today he went to the doctor and came back with a prescription for anitbiotics. The instructions are a little confusing so I guess I'm going to have to call him every morning and make sure he gets it right.

While he was at the VA he CANCELLED his psychiatrist appointment! I told him he souldn't have done that. He said he wanted to get all this other stuff out of the way first. He needs to schedule cataract surgery and get a physical but he really needs to get his Alzheimer's evaluation completed. There was no reason to cancel that appointment.

I didn't go with him to the doctor because he called at 7 this morning and said he was leaving right away. I haven't been feeling well for a couple days so I let him go. And since he didn't have an appointment it took him almost the whole day.

He still doesn't have his taxes done. I'm going to go to the bank with him tomorrow and try to get a print out of his deposits. Then I can figure out his Christmas tree sales. Once I get that I can take everything to Harold and get the taxes off the freakin' list. Somehow we've got to convince Dad he shouldn't have another tree season. We can't do this another year. Not unless he completely turns it over to someone else and I know none of us kids wants to do it.

But it's too soon to have that conversation. I don't think he'd go for it.

I'm feeling better. Maybe tomorrow I'll clean his kitchen. The other day I was over there and there were fruit flies all over the place. There must have been a piece of fruit rotting on the counter somewhere but I couldn't find it. The counters are covered with stuff and he keeps those old, holey tree stumps above the sink (objet d'art). It's a visual cacophony that makes me want to flee.

Tra la la...

The Daily Show did a story on Gannon/Guckert. This has made me happy. The story is creeping into the mainstream.

God bless the bloggers!

I am good.

I got my ECG. Now I just have to do the blood test again and then I can make an appointment for my physical.

I am good.

Ooh, kewl!

I just found a fun way to exercise! Why didn't I think of this before? I put I-tunes on radio and tuned into Magnatune Worldmusic. They have all kinds of cool, fun traditional music from around the world. Lots of Middle Eastern stuff I can dance to. Then I clicked on the button at the bottom that starts the psychedelic screen saver and turned out the lights. It's a nice thing to trance-out with while I'm dancing. For the slow pieces I held my 2 pound weights and did some slow lifts. For the fast stuff I put the weights down and just danced. I got a nice, 30 minute workout.

Dang, that felt good.

Blog surfing

I've been surfing the blogs. Most of them are pretty boring, including mine. It seems a lot of people like to think of themselves as insane and like to call their writings "random thoughts". Every once in a while I find a cool blog so I'll keep surfing.

No party at Stacey's tonight. Dad is too sick. I'm glad he didn't decide to tough it out. He really should stay in bed.

My cold is gone, gone, gone. Two days, baby! And I barely felt it. Gan Mao Ling did the trick. Jim ordered 4 more bottles. Good stuff.

Wow.

I think my cold cure is working. I feel pretty good, almost totally well. Awriiight! Jim's been sick, too. He hasn't been good about taking the cure.

Dad got sick. Yesterday I took him a cold kit; Chicken soup, Gan Mao Ling, Cold-eze and some Cs. We're supposed to have a birthday party for him at Stacey's tonight. He sounded pretty bad yesterday. I'm hoping my magical cold cure will work and he'll feel well enough to go to Stacey's. I told him we could do it another night but he really wants it to be today.

I gotta go shopping for a gift.

Foggy me

Crapola. I got another cold, my 4th one of the season. I'm hitting it with my usual arsenal; tons of vitamin C, Gan Mao Ling, zinc lozenges and chicken soup. I caught it early this time. Maybe it won't take hold.

We've lost our Casual Sunday venue. The owner of Pepito's sold the bar. The new owner is turning it into a no alcohol bar for 18 to 20-year-olds. No more playing at Pepito's. Anybody know of a bar in the Riverside area that needs a good, classic rock band?

It's been raining. It's very pleasant sitting on my front porch and watching the rain. I like to read or play solitaire out there. Usually, a cat or two will join me or the chickens will stroll by. It's a very nice spot.

Dinner

Dad took me out to dinner at Olivia's tonight. He told me about his visit with Jeannie and Herbie and I told him about kicking Dave out of the band. He seemed much brighter tonight. He didn't need to search for words as much and all his stories were full of new information. He was really different.

I'm not grasping at false hope. It was just nice to see him so relaxed and engaged. After we got home we sat on the front porch and talked for a long time. He gave me a little BS about getting rid of the bees living in the barn wall but the rest of our conversation was fresh and productive.

Let's send him to Texas again!

Dad's coming home.

I go get him at 2:00. Jeannie called and said they had a good visit. She also said we should go down to Social Security and get things straightened out. I'm not sure just what but hey, that's what they're there for.

Gotta go. We're going to work on his back yard.

It's 3:50 now. Back from the airport. Dad seems better (for now). He thinks the stress of trying to get his taxes together was messing him up. I agree with him on that. He had a good time on his trip though he wishes he had more time to visit the Macaluso's.

I told him that our wheel barrow was missing. He decided we absolutely had to find it. When we got home we went on a wheel barrow search. Jeez, there were wheelbarrows everywhere! He must have at least 10 wheelbarrows in good working condition. We wandered around the barnyard (that's where it was, full of greasy motor parts. I figure Carlos took it.) and it bothered him to see the barnyard so junky. Timio's bags of grass seed and chemicals was a big mess in the barn. Dad's kind of pissed about that. He said Timio's done a lot for him but maybe it would be nice to not have to put up with all this crap. I hadn't said anything about it. He came up with that one on his own.

There's a lot to do. We have to finish the trust, inventory the farm, finish Dad's taxes, fix the back hoe so they can fill in the big hole, figure out the rest of Dad's finances and get Dad back to the doctor for his cataract surgery, his knee and to finish his Alzheimer's evaluation. We have to get the realtor up here so we can get started on leasing the big field and get some income for Dad.

I looked at some of the Alzheimer's websites the other night. It looks like Dad is in stage 4 of 7. What's coming ain't so good. I knew that but looking at the websites was a good wake up call. Drew and Mindy know what to expect because they've been through it with her dad. Dede and David also know. I don't know about Debbie. I talked about it with Stacey today and told her what I had read. She was kind of shocked. There's a big life change coming up for all of us and we need to be prepared. I know that's an understatement but it's way too easy to go into denial. I know it is for me.

I have to keep moving on getting my health together. I think later this week I can get the electrocardiogram (yeah, I know, I should've done that weeks ago). I need to get another blood test because those blood sugar numbers weren't so good. Crap. I pretty much knew that one was coming. But the reason for all these tests is so I can get started on a doctor-supervised weightloss program. With all that's coming I really need to stay healthy. I can't give my health over to a disease that's not even mine.

checking in

I called Dad this morning. He's having a fun visit. Herbie took him to a junk yard to find some steel. Dad feels at home in a junk yard.

It's been a nice break for us knowing that the phone isn't going to ring 10 times a day and Dad isn't just going to show up at the door and send the dogs into a frenzy 4 or 5 times a day.

My singing thing on Sunday went well. I wasn't perfect but I also didn't totally blow it. This church was in Yucaipa which is at a higher altitude than I'm used to. Not much but it did affect my singing. Still, I did ok. Kevin took me out for breakfast between services. Probably shouldn't have done that. It made me a bit phlemmy.

The superbowl party was also much better than expected. The cousins all behaved. We did the family hootnanny thing which was fun. One of the cousins had a football pool going. Jan and Dallas took the whole thing. How they managed to rig the game is way beyond any of us. One of the younger cousins was in one of the Pepsi commercials. Her career is really taking off. She's also been in a few magazines. Cute girl.

I went over to Dad's to check on things this morning. Jim and I need to get over there and clean the back yard. We've had some windy days so the pool is full of debris and the dogs have contributed massive amounts of poop to the yard. When you go back there you have to carry a stick to keep Maggie from poking her nose in your butt and pushing you into the pool. She's a sweet dog but a huge pest. And Lady is just plain weird. I wonder about what we'll do when Dad get's too far gone to care for them. Maggie is old but she's showing no signs of slowing down. I guess we'll figure it out when we need to.

Airport

The last time I saw Dad he was walking down the gangway so I assume he's on the plane.

There's no way he could have done this on his own. I got an escort pass so I could go with him to the gate. Going through security was fun. We both had to take off our jackets and shoes and put all our belongings in the bins. With Dad that means two jackets, two bags and having to sit down and untie his shoes. That meant running around to find a chair. Why doesn't security have chairs available so old people can take off their shoes without keeling over?

When Dad took off his jacket 2 grapefruit rolled out of his pockets and hit the floor. So now I'm running around trying to retrieve grapefruit while 30 people are trying to get around me and Dad, who is now chatting it up with the humorless trog who is pulling SCISSORS (2 pair) out of his bag.

When we got to the gate we sat down next to this poor guy who clearly didn't appreciate Dad fiddling with stuffing the grapefruits into his bag and then dropping it on the guy's foot. He left. Dad kept taking his ticket out of his pocket and asking if he's supposed to change planes in Phoenix. I kept reminding him about his yellow piece of paper. I explained several times that it's printed on his ticket that he needs assistance and someone will meet him at the gate and get him to the next plane. We had this conversation 6 times in 30 minutes. His ticket may be mushed to pulp by the time he gets there.

I called Jeannie when I got home. She's on it. They went through all this with Nana so they know what's required. She'll remind him to take his meds. She said she and Herbie really noticed when they saw him last year that things weren't quite right. And thank you, David for giving them that call.

Oh yeah, I got Dad's keys.

The meds

Ok, so he actually did take the meds out of the bag and put them in his medicine cabinet. But for some reason he thought I had them. We looked in his cabinet and found them. I checked the date on the bottles and found the one we had just gotten last week. So, ok, good. At least he has them.

He actually did a pretty good job of packing for the trip. He has his plane ticket in his suitcase in a ziplock bag. He has his instructions on bright yellow paper taped in is date book. He has his meds. I'll check everything tomorrow morning. Jeez, I hope everything goes ok at the airport tomorrow.

Note to self- Tell him to leave his keys at home.

Something new every day

This morning Dad came over and talked to Jim. I was still in bed. He thought that I had all his medication somewhere. He couldn't find it at his house so he thought I had it.

When we went to the doctor last week he took all his meds with him so the doctor could see what he's been taking. He had everything (current meds, old meds, empty bottles) in a white plastic grocery bag. I offered to give him a nice, small, paper shopping bag with handles but he said his bag was fine. For some reason I knew I really should have insisted he take the nice paper bag. Next time, follow my instincts.

After he got back from the doctor he must have put the bag down somewhere and forgotten about it. Now his meds are lost somewhere in his house in that white plastic bag that looks like every other piece of loose trash floating around. I'm going to go over and look for them and help him pack for Texas.

He said he hasn't taken any of his meds in the last few days because he just didn't think about it. Usually he's very good about that. I guess now we'll have to check on that every day. If it is vascular dementia and not Alzheimer's then he really needs to take his hypertension meds and take care of his diabetes.

By the way, he found his keys. His pants are still lost.

Hoo boy...

This morning Dad locked himself INSIDE his house. He has one of those horrible deadbolts that needs to have a key to unlock it from the inside. He only uses his back door because the front door is permanently locked and blocked and the slider leading to the back yard is no good because his back gate is locked. He can't find his keys because he can't find his pants. He called this morning and Jim took a key to him, which he kept. Now we just have one key to his house. I'd better make copies.

It's getting bad. He's leaving for Texas on Thursday. I guess I'll have to help him pack.

late night worries

The time is 3:51 AM. Got a big ol' brain buzz going. This next week is going to be stressfull. It's Monday morning. I'll be so glad when I finally crawl into bed next Sunday night.

Today I go to visit my dad's accountant, Harold. My dad is in the early stages of Alzheimer's and we're rushing to get his affairs in order. Actually, it's been coming on for a few years but in the last few months it's gotten much worse. He's been evaluated but we're still waiting for the final report. The wheels at the VA turn very slowly. Anyway...

I don't know what my dad wants to accomplish with this visit but it's probably a good idea for me to meet this guy. Dad is insisting that "when the time comes" Harold is the one he wants to handle everything. This may or may not be the best way to go. Dad is 76 years old and Harold is older than Dad. Dad's been getting a little paranoid lately and he doesn't trust that his five kids will make the right decisions for him. I have to keep reminding him that he raised 5 smart people and we have his best interests at heart. He also thinks that just about any professional we might hire will surely rip him off. Right now we're trying to figure out a way to make this farm profitable so he can have some income. We think (and Dad agrees) that leasing out his big side field would be the best way to go. But getting a realtor up here to look the place over is a frightening prospect for him. As if a realtor could steal the farm or maybe alert the authorities to Dad's questionable farming practices. (Note to reader- It's a Christmastree farm. Don't be alarmed.)

So, we're meeting with Harold today. Dad has been trying to get through the huge pile of papers on his desk looking for the right tax forms. Drew, Stacey and I have been trying to help him and it's been extremely frustrating. Dad keeps every scrap of paper. He has about 5 big file cabinets in his office and a few little ones and they're stuffed full. He won't let us throw anything away. We're talkin' old tool catalogs from 1987, marketing materials, old to-do lists, ANYTHING. He even keeps tools in these file cabinets. So far we've managed to find only one of the forms he needs to get his taxes done.

But at least I'll be able to get a handle on Harold. Maybe he'll be ok and I'll feel like he'll be able to handle the monumental tast of sorting out Dad's finances. Or maybe I'll be on the phone to my sibs as soon as I get home screaming my head off. We'll see.

Worry #2-

Thursday Dad flies to Texas to visit my uncle and aunt. They don't know about his condition so I'm a little concerned about how well he'll be looked after. Never mind, I can't worry about what will happen once he gets there. My job is to worry about the flights there and back. On the first flight he hast to change planes in Phoenix. On the returning flight he stops in Phoenix but he needs to stay on the plane. We tried to explaining that to him several times but he just can't grasp it. Jim printed out instructions for him in big bold letters on bright yellow paper. I taped the paper into his date book that he carries with him at all times. I'm sure he'll notice it as he flips through the book, which he does several times a day. When I take him to the sirport I can sign a form that will allow me to accompany him to the gate. I'll try to get a flight attendant to come out and talk to me so I can tell her that he'll need assistance when he gets to Phoenix. That should take care of his trip there. At some point I'm hoping I can talk to Jeannie and Herbie and tell them to do the same thing when they put him on the flight home.

This will be interesting. Dad hasn't told them about his problem. He wants to tell them sometime during his visit. I've been telling him he needs to tell them right away. This is Mardi Gras time in Galveston and Herbie and Jeannie are very involved in it. They'll be quite busy and might not be able to give Dad the attention and supervision he'll need. Fortunately, there are some other relatives there who can help.

Worry #3-

Sunday is when I sing the Laudate Dominum at Kevin's church. I'm just getting over a cold and I'm sure I'll be fine by Sunday. This week I'll need to practice like crazy. I haven't done this kind of singing in a very long time and I'm not confident I'll do a good job. I really don't want to let Kevin down.

Worry #4-

Not really a worry, just one of those things I'd rather not do. After I sing on Sunday we're going to Jim's cousin's house for a Superbowl party. Jim's aunt is visiting from up north and the whole family is getting together. This is an interesting mix of people and they can be a lot of fun. But they can also be hard to be around. Jim's aunt is the queen of everything. She's a good person, smart and very outspoken. She'll rag on us about not being employed. We're fine. We've started our own business though it hasn't taken off yet. We still have no income but if it comes down to it, we'll get jobs.

Two of the cousins are heavy duty alcoholics. Most of the time they behave but sometimes they get into some pretty big fights. Andf if they don't fight they're certain to get pretty drunk and sloppy. Talking to them is a big fat drag. If they get too weird, I'm going to leave.

Of course we're required to put on a show. One cousin is a good musician and he used to be in a band with Ken. They all used to play together when they were teenagers. It can be fun playing music with Tony but it's totally his show. That's ok, I don't have a problem with that. He's a good guy and it'a always fun doing the family hootnanny thing but after 30-something years, it ain't unique.

I don't know what to expect from the other cousins. Half of them are also alcoholics but they'll just get tipsy and only slightly sloppy. Still, not much fun to be with but I'll put up with it. Aunt June is in her eighties and I'm happy to accomodate her. I'll just be glad when it's over.

It is now 4:52. Will getting this out help me to sleep? I doubt it. I'm sure that Dad will call me around 7 (worry #5).

New paper!

We picked up the new designs today. They look pretty good. Kindalikeamola is a little dark but still very pretty. I took some samples to Tiggywinkles. The owner is out of town right now but she did tell Kevin that she wants to buy some paper. I'll call her when she gets back. Yeah, baby! Gotta customer!

Today when we brought it home we were going to store it at my dad's in his downstairs room. When I opened the door I noticed that it smelled musty. We've had quite a lot of rain lately and since that room is mostly underground and was originally a garage it isn't exactly waterproof. There was a lot of water on the floor. Jim, Dad and I spent about 2 hours sopping it up. We had to pull up the rug. YUCCH! We put the paper in the kitchenette where it stays pretty dry. We put it up on boards just in case. That's $2,000 worth of wrapping paper. Actually, more than that if you go retail!

Tomorrow I'm not going anywhere. I was going real good on my house cleaning and I want to keep it up. Clean and purge! Thursday I'll get an electrocardiogram and make an appointment for a physical. Then all my health stuff will be set.

A challenge

Kevin called me today with an interesting offer. He wants me to sing Laudate Dominum from Mozart's Vespers of the Confessor at the church where he directs the choir. We did this 30 years ago when we were in choir at RCC. That's pretty much the last time I did that kind of singing.

I found a website that has free downloads of midi files of all kinds of classical music. The sound is pretty cheesy but at least it's something to practice with. I sang it a few times and was pleasantly surprised that I could actually still do it. I think with some practice and a good warm up I'll be able to pull it off. And hey, it's a paying gig. I didn't ask how much. I'm really doing it for Kevin (and to see if I can still sing like that).

Look, I'm back!

Trying to cultivate good habits. Keep going, don't flake out.

Things are getting cleaned. Vitamins are being ingested. All this stuff is on my mind. It's a start.

We had a great band practice last night! We're making so much progress and songs are getting added at an accelerated rate. Bass player John showed us his guitar skills last night. He has a really nice, laid back, Chet Atkins style. I'm looking forward to doing some mellow guitar and vocal stuff with him.

Our new paper is being printed! We should be able to go pick it up on Monday. Now I gotta sell this stuff. When we went to the printer our guy, Darren, showed us his boss' office. She has Mexican Blanket on her wall and Curioso taped to her table. I guess she's had them there ever since we got them printed last spring. Cool, eh? What's neat about it is this is a pretty high-end printing company. They have cool graphic stuff going through there all the time. They chose MY designs to display on the office wall! That's a confidence booster.

Don't call them resolutions

Just because I'm thinking about this stuff in early January doesn't mean I'm making a bunch of New Year's resolutions. Christmas is over so my brain is freed up. I can think again. I think I want to make some changes. Here's the crap I want to work on.

Keeping a journal- I'm not sure blogging is the way to go with this. I relate to pen and paper a bit better. Maybe with practice I'll like the blog thing, I dunno. Anyway, I haven't kept a journal since I was in highschool. Back then it was all a bunch of teenage ravings about boys. I can probably do better now. Let's see how far I get with this before I flake out.

Getting daily exercise- Jeez, I gotta do something! I used to get lots of exercise before we moved here. Since we don't have any income yet I can't justify spending money on a gym membership. I really can do it at home. I just have to do it, dammit! I'll re-up at Workouts For You (online program).

Taking care of my general health- I've already gotten my mammogram (got the results. I'm cool) and a chest x-ray. This morning I got the blood test. I still need to get the electrocardiogram and the rest of the woman stuff. Then I'll know where I stand. Gonna see about doing Optifast. If I can do that and get the exercise going I oughta be ok. Oh yeah, and the vitamins. I'm usually pretty good about that. Keep it up. FLOSS!!!

Daily housekeeping- Really, this shouldn't be too hard. If I putter around a little every day it should keep the big jobs to a minimum. I love having a clean house. So, why isn't it clean all the time? The eternal question. Even sis-in-law, Sherri, thinks her house is a mess and she's the best housekeeper I know.

Organize- This goes along with the housekeeping. Get rid of stuff. Build those damn shelves. Fix my storage problems.

Pay bills!- Don't let them pile up. If I'm good about the house cleaning I'll always have a clean desk to sit at and pay those suckers. Manage our money better.

Forward Rancho Curioso- Nurture this business. Get it going! The new paper will be in soon. Sell it! Get Jim off his butt.

My appearance- Losing weight will help. I have lots of nice clothes that are just a bit too small for me right now. Get regular haircuts. I always let that go for too long.

Go to bed earlier- Really, 10:00 is when I should be going to bed.

Stay in touch- Call those Northern California folks more often. Ruth, too.

Ok, that oughta do it for now.

Ahhh...

Christmas is over. I always love it when Christmas is over and I can relax. We had a very nice visit at Dede's in SLO. Now I'm home and looking forward to whatever comes next.

I'm sick

My Rancho Curioso mail isn't working. I'm cut off from the world (except for my Hotmail account).

I have a friggin' cold! My second one in 2 months. Just the other day I was thinking, wow, I feel so healthy right now. I started my online exercise program and I was feeling great about it. Now this happens. Poopies.

Also, we're supposed to be performing at Pepito's on Sunday. I've got 2 days to shake this thing. I'm popping vitamin Cs like crazy, I'm eating chicken soup, taking gan mao ling and sucking on zinc lozenges. There MUST be SOMETHING else I can ingest to get rid of this cold!

Oh well.