Sunday, August 12, 2012

Wow, soooo much better!

Hooray! A good show tonight! And a personal best for me, I think. A shift has occurred. Tonight I felt more comfortable than I ever have hosting a show. It felt easy and natural. And what a great audience! Another full house, which is always good, but this group was there to laugh. Stacey, Audra, and Scotty's sister, Tanya, came tonight. I'm so glad they got a good show. I'm really happy right now. _________________________________________________________________________ The icky girls from last night were replaced by a cute, funny, HAWT dude named Brady Matthews. Google him and check out his photos. Day-um. Anyway, he was really good, and Melissa Villasenor did a very nice job as well. At the end of the show when I was doing the raffle, Rick came out and made the stretch-it-out sign at me. Again, since it was a big audience the checks were slow to arrive and it was taking some time to process everything. I slowed down the raffle as much as I could, and then when it was over I went into the audience and chatted with the people who were still waiting for their checks. That worked pretty well. No one got surly, and they seemed to enjoy talking to me. I'm going to do that from now on. ____________________________________________________________ Rick was happy with my performance. He said, "Have you noticed we're booking you more often now? There's a reason for that." Awww. During the show Stacey came to the back and sat with me a while. That was so cool. I enjoyed sitting with my sis having a nice, quiet little chat about the show. It really was a special night. ________________________________________________________________ The 10:00 show was a bit difficult, but it always is. Just a bit. We had maybe 8 people. I did my best to give them the same kind of show a big audience would get. They were a nice, polite audience. At the end I didn't bother to use the microphone during the raffle. What's the point? They were just right there. __________________________________________________________________ It's been almost a year since I first started doing this. Last year, on August 8th we all went to see Bobcat Goldthwait at Flappers Burbank, and Tracey and I went into the bar before the show to use the restroom. That's when Deven invited me up to the stage to sing a few songs. Then, on September 2nd I stepped onstage at Flappers Claremont. What an amazing year it has been. _______________________________________________________________ So happy.

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Last night

(Again, no paragraph breaks. This blog is broken)__________________________________ Oh man, it bothers me when an audience pays to get in and then they get a shitty show. Well, not the whole show..._______________________________________ The 8:00 was mostly pretty good. Melissa Villasenor is the headliner this weekend, and she's very funny. She was a semi-finalist on America's Got Talent, which helps to make her a big draw for the club. The featured comic was Esther Povitsky, and the guest comic was this friend of theirs who, I don't know, maybe got to perform because they asked if she could. She is an experienced comic, but I've learned that that doesn't always mean something._______________________________________ We met in the green room before the show. Melissa had also brought her sister along. I introduced myself and we chatted for a bit, but it was clear that I was the old woman in the room who was putting a damper on things. I asked them how they'd like to be introduced. Esther said, "Oh, I don't know. Just say anything." I told her I'm just not experienced enough to do that. I need something to go on. she said she'd think about it. Then I asked their friend how she'd like to be introduced. She said her name was Amy. Amy Cheapho, spelled C-H-E-A-P-H-O. It's Croatian. I kind of said, "Wha? What?" She said, "Yes, it's Cheapho. It's Croatian." Um, ok. I said (jovially), "Are you fucking with me, Amy?" She acted quite taken aback and offended, and I was instantly sorry I had put that out there. I tried to save it by asking her if the "ph" was pronounced as an eff, or if it was just Cheap-ho. Oh gawd.____________________________________________________ She said, "You can say I've appeared all around L.A. and I'm a big hit at my mom's Al-Anon meetings." Ok...heh, heh. Esther still couldn't think of anything to say so I decided I'd just say something about how cute she is. And she is cute. Cute as a button. Cute as a bug's ear. Just a teeny little thing. I can do something with that._______________________________________________ I left the green room so I could give them time to roll their eyes at each other and talk about what a clueless bitch I am. Something like that. Anyway, I didn't want to hang around with them any longer. Soon it was time for the show to start.__________________________________________________ The place was packed. A total full house, and the audience was lively. I had only 10 minutes so I zoomed through my set (Middle-aged Woman, Voodoo Doll, Phone Sex) and then introduced Amy. Oh my god. Am I that old and out of touch? Am I too unhip to appreciate that kind of raunchy gutter humor? I don't think so, as long as it's funny. The Claremont audience wasn't laughing much. She got a few good ones in, but I would say they ever really laughed. I thought it was pretty embarrassing. And then I thought about her acting so shocked when I asked her if she was fucking with me. I'm thinking, gee, a girl who tells jokes about her mother performing oral sex has no business being offended by ANYTHING I might say. _________________________________________Then it was Esther's turn. I introduced her with a joke about how cute and tiny she is, and how I accidently sat on her backstage. I give her set about a 7.5. It's this self-deprecating, I'm-so-ugly-and-undesirable stuff that can work if it's done right. There were a lot of long, uncomfortable pauses, but about halfway through it she got 'em going. Really, the stuff that worked was very good. Maybe I'll raise that to an 8. During her set Amy took a flash photo of her, which is a big, fucking no-no. Half the audience turned around to look. When Esther was finished I shook her hand as she left the stage. She has the tiniest little doll hands. I said, "Wow, I just shook Esther's hand. She's so tiny and dainty I just want to take her home, tie her up, dress her in something frilly and set her in front of a mirror." Then a guy yelled, "Turn her into a voodoo doll! Stick pins in her!" People laughed at that one! ____________________________________________ Then Melissa was on. She really is very good. She's a good physical comic and her impressions are spot on. If you're curious, just look up her Youtube videos. She's funny. ________________________________________ With such a big audience it took a long time to get everyone their checks. Like, way too long. People were getting surly. While the staff was rushing to get people their checks, I helped clear the room. Then it was time for the second show. ________________________________________The 10:00 audience is usually much smaller, and it can be harder to get them to laugh. I'm kind of used to that. This audience wasn't buying Amy's icky jokes. (Oh yeah, I came verrry close to accidently introducing her as Amy Cheap-whore. Really!) Again, I was embarrassed for the club. AND this time Esther took a flash photo of Amy! And again, people turned around and looked. When Esther went up I thought, ok, she did a pretty good job at the first show. Things will pick up now. Nope. She was so thrown by the second audience being quiet that she went into brat mode. She wandered around the stage and said stuff like, "Um, what should I do now? Um...." She picked up the menu and read some of the items. She picked up the raffle form and talked about how stupid it was. Jokes that landed well in the first show fell flat, and she didn't even do some of the good stuff she had done before. When she was done I felt like I had to fluff up the room, so I told the joke about turning her into a voodoo doll. It helped. ____________________________________Then Melissa got up again and her energy was just down. People laughed, but I couldn't help thinking that some of them were wondering why they wasted their time coming out. When the show was over I went back to the green room to grab my uke. These girls had left a big mess of dishes and trash for the staff to clean up. I was offended by that. I picked up their trash and bussed the dishes.______________________________________ Tonight Melissa is performing again, but the other girls won't be there. Different feature comic this time. The 8:00 show is sold out. Yay! We'll see how it goes.

Wednesday, August 08, 2012


Ok, I haven't posted in a while, and the whole set up looks way different. So, WTF is up with blogger? My last big post is one big run-on paragraph with no breaks. This will not do.


Good golly, it's been a while. So much has changed. I don't like that I've neglected this blog. It really helped me through those tough times and I like being able to help myself remember all that stuff by going back and reading old posts. And I do enjoy writing, which these days has become kind of important. I need to write. Writing could actually get me somewhere. -*-*-*-*-*- Comedy just keeps chugging along. I've performed twice at the Ontario Improv (awesome audience) and hosting at Flappers is getting to be a regular thing. And that's why I need to write and why it's important to keep up with the blog. I just need the exercise. My song-writing rate seems to be stuck at one per year and that ain't no good no how. I am getting ideas, tho.-*-*-*-*-*- I got a job. I've been working for the last four months for a nation-wide company that, among other things, provides live-in care for people who are profoundly developmentally disabled. I work in the office. It's kind of funny. I applied as a receptionist, was hired as a temp Administrative Assistant, and, if the main office approves it, come December I will be promoted to Office Coordinator with a raise and bennies. This is big. I've spent too many years in financial drain. It kind of blows my mind that soon I'll have enough money. I'm tripping on the concept of "enough". Enough to live on and pay my bills. Enough to do some home improvements so I can protect my investment. Enough to put a few bucks away while also having some fun here and there. It's kind of hard for me to really see what that will be like.-*-*-*-*-*- Other than work and comedy, things have been a mixed bag. I'm pretty much always able to float along in a happy state (denial?), but it hasn't been as great as it could be. Watching my savings dwindle has been a drag. My house is kind of falling apart (no AC right now. FUN!), and it got very, very messy. I've spent the last few days cleaning and cleaning and it's still not done. Still, it's nice to look around and see progress. I mean, I'm reeeeally cleaning. Furniture is being moved, stuff is getting scrubbed. I'm looking forward to the next phase- PAINTING.-*-*-*-*-*- I had a big yard sale a couple months ago. Drew and Mindy brought over a bunch of stuff and we all moved some shit OUT. We put the leftovers in my sunroom intending to have another sale in June. Now the plan is to have the next yard sale on August 18th. After that, no leftovers. It all goes. Then it's back to the old tile game (remember that?), but I kind of like the tile game, and it should be easier because I've gotten rid of so much stuff already. I'm just glad this stagnation phase is ending.-*-*-*-*-*- I'm itching to do something creative and artsy. The mosaic supplies in the garage are calling to me. In my head I'm finalizing the design for my fireplace and I'm getting excited about getting started.-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Oh yes, now I remember what it felt like to spend time with the bloggy. I like this.