Friday, September 18, 2015

New doctor. Not happy.

So for a long while there I didn't have health insurance.  When Obamacare kicked in I got a basic, no frills insurance package at a reasonable cost.  I used it just once when I went in for what I thought was a check up, but turned out to be a consultation with a physician's assistant who rolled her eyes when I said I used cannabis.  The State of California finally realized that I'm still too poor to pay for health insurance so they signed me up for IEHP, which meant I needed to find a new doctor, which was fine since I really didn't want to go back to the one I never saw in the first place.

So now I'm with Riverside County Regional Medical Clinic in MoVal.  When I signed up I told them I wanted a female doctor.  At this point in my life I'd rather deal with a woman when I'm having my lady bits looked at.  Well, today I got to meet Dr. Nathan McL---, a humorless, YOUNG, less-attractive version of Elija Wood.  Doogie Howser/Frodo.

First he took down all my information and then we got down to business.  I told him that I have an itchy spot on the back of my head which I suspected was a fungus.  He had me lower my head so he could poke around in my hair.  He asked, "Wow, when did you crack your head open?"  I'm like, huh?  I told him I've never had any kind of injury back there.  He said, "Well, you have quite a scar back here.  Are you sure you've never had a head injury?"  Again, no.  He said, "Oh.  Yeah, you have a fungus."


Then it was time to do the gyno exam so he stepped out of the room while I changed into the ever-attractive paper gown.  Only it wasn't a gown, just a paper cover sheet.  I took off my clothes and hopped up on the table and wrapped the cover sheet around me as best I could.  He came back in with the assistant, who also looked very, very young.  He barked at her about my not having a proper gown and then ducked behind the curtain.  She quickly grabbed one for me.  It ripped as I was putting it on and it didn't cover me nearly as well as the plain cover sheet.  Then I said I was ready but he didn't come out.  I said, "Olly olly oxen free!"  Jeez.

I laid back and assumed the position.  Right away he goes in for a labia jab.  I jumped, which must have looked pretty funny from his end.  My ass left the table!  He asked, "Was that painful?"  I said, "No, but you gotta let me know when you're going in.  Don't sneak up on me like that."  He said, "You seem kind of jumpy."  Yeah, no shit, Dr. Einstein.  Let me poke you in your nut sack and see if you can keep still.

Worst pelvic exam ever.  Except he didn't stick his finger up my butt.  I was grateful for that.  But really, dude.  I sure I don't have the most attractive old lady hoo-ha you've ever seen, but could you at least not treat it like it's some kind of threat?

Then it was time for the breast check, which he performed with the same finesse as the pelvic exam.  Dude, it's not a taffy pull.  You're not fluffing a lumpy pillow.  I probably don't have cancer but I'm pretty sure I left there with some bruises.

It'll be six months before I get a raise so I'm stuck with this guy for a while.  As soon as I can I'm going back to Kaiser and my old, female doctor.  She's good at what she does and she laughs at my jokes.  Doogie Frodo is not good at his job.

Sunday, March 01, 2015

My shitty attitude

Boy, these days I too often feel like a petulant teenager.  I walk around thinking everyone but me is a total moron.  Leave me alone.  Stay the fuck away from me.

This isn't healthy.

It's the stuckness.  I'm stuck.  And when I'm stuck it's the world that's wrong.  Not me.  When I feel like this I tend to want to wait for things to change instead of making change happen myself.  This is a character flaw.  I'm cold.  I'm sleepy.  Stuff is on tv.  It's Sunday.  Who can do anything about anything on a Sunday?

It doesn't help that it's all gloomy outside.  And right now there's a cat threatening to lay down on my keyboard.  Sometimes the best course of action is to give up and wait till tomorrow.


Fucking cat.

Thursday, February 26, 2015

Ok, this is stupid.

It's been almost a year since my last post.  I love my blog.  There have been times when my blog saved my sanity.  Why have I all but abandoned it?  I blame Facebook.

I do enjoy writing and I want to do it more often.  I think developing a consistent writing habit would benefit me in countless ways.  So would regular exercise, a sensible diet, and thrice daily dental hygiene procedures.  Better housekeeping habits, daily mail processing, home repair and maintenance should also be added to the list.

Yeah, it's January 2nd.  I won't go so far as to label these New Year's resolutions, though.  That would be declaring some kind of commitment.  But I have read some articles, printed out helpful tips and made some lists.  I've done a visual assessment of my house and concluded that last year's list has indeed been shortened as a result of my efforts.  Bravo, me.

There's a lot that happened in 2014 that I didn't blog about, obviously.  Lindsay and Kyle got married.  Certainly THAT should have been written about.  My brother-in-law, Bob, died last month, which is an event worthy of its own post.  Big stuff happened last year.  I just didn't write about it.

And that's just plain stupid.  I don't put absolutely everything on Facebook.  Usually it's because I don't want to have a big ol' conversation about it.  This blog is the place where I have always put words to experiences, thoughts, and feelings.  This is the place where it all gets thrashed about, fleshed out, and flushed out.  Facebook is a place of abbreviated expression where almost any idea can be conveyed by clicking the share button.  It's entertainment, it's fluff, and it's lazy.

And yes, I know it is also a place where people can keep in touch and share the events of their lives.  People can and do receive prayers and support when things are bad, and congratulations and happy wishes when good stuff happens.  That's wonderful, really.  I participate in all that and will continue to do so.  It just doesn't do much for my brain.  In fact, I think it's possibly a little harmful.

I need to fucking write, damn it.  Until I had this blog I never wrote for pleasure, or to express what needed to be expressed before it squeaked out through the cracks.  Before I had this blog I thought I was a crappy writer.  Then, because of this blog, I found that I'm kind of good at it.  When I found out I had a few readers outside of my family, I started to feel I needed to write to entertain. Suddenly, I was writing for an audience, and that was a challenge I enjoyed.


Yep.  That's how much I enjoy writing.  I put this down for almost two months.  Jeez.

We just finished with the Dickens show (best yet!) and now I'm working (ha!) on getting things back to normal.  The last week of rehearsals is always intense, but this year it was a bit more time consuming.  Chris kept getting ideas and I did my best to make them a reality.  I love that shit.  So I whipped up a Queen Victoria coat of arms and some big gold letters, RV for Royal Victoria, to hang over the stage.  I repainted the fireplace.  We draped the stage with some wonderful fabric we bought at the garment district.  I did some final costume adjustments.  I just love doing all that.  Paige also helped with the final prep, which we all appreciated.  And the performances were all great fun.

So now it's back to the regular stuff.  Ho hum.

Paige found a Groupon for a refurbished Vitamix blender at a decent discount.  So, we gots one.  I love it.  Ever since we got it I've been blasting raw veggies and fruit to smithereens and drinking the results.  Spinach, kale, parsley, beets, apples, oranges, carrots, zucchini, cucumbers, ginger, and frozen pineapple and blueberries.  And then I'll have some protein like poached eggs or roasted chicken.  I won't call it a diet.  I just like it.  This is going to have me visiting the grocery store a lot more often.

Right now the dogs are being ridiculous.

Yeah, the regular stuff- working on my house (the kitchen is next), the soul-sucking job hunt, the stalled comedy career, and the same old shit.  Some parts of my life I really enjoy.  The other stuff is tedious.  I know it's all up to me to "make it happen".  I just get stuck sometimes, and right now, things are stuck.  I'm fifty-eight years old and I still don't have my shit together.  It's also true that I'm talented and smart and I don't have my shit together.

Soooo, let's go see what's happening on Facebook.