Sunday, February 07, 2010

The Scone Incident

Boy, it's been a while since my last post.

This weekend was the Dickens Festival. I did this fun show at the Congregational Church, basically the same show as last year. It's the Queen's Tea, which is an English music hall style show where we sing silly songs and interact with Queen Victoria. They serve a very nice high tea with freshly baked scones, finger sandwiches, mini quiche and fruit. It's really a fun little experience.

Yesterday the kitchen staff told us that we could come into the kitchen and get something to eat any time because we were working so hard on entertaining everyone. Really, just come on in and have anything you want. Just make sure you use the little plastic gloves when you're taking food from the bins. It was great. I had a scone, a cookie, and a couple of the mini quiches, which got me through the day quite nicely.

Today after the first show I decided I wanted a scone. I went into the kitchen and found our marvelous pianist, Leonard, happily munching on one. I told the guys who were making them that that's what I came in for and they enthusiastically directed me to the rack of warm scones that were fresh from the oven. I put on a plastic glove and grabbed a plate. As I reached for a scone my hoop skirt snagged on a trash can, which fell over. This caused me to lurch forward a little, which resulted in my scone getting a bit dented. The woman who was running the kitchen turned around and said, "Oh no! Please don't do that! We might not have enough!" I told her that I was sorry and that I didn't know. I showed her the scone and told her it was kind of squished. She reached out and took it off my plate and put it back on the rack! I was dumbfounded! Then one of the kitchen staff kind of shoved a finger sandwich into my hand, I guess as compensation. I was trying to leave when one of the guys shouted, "Out of the way! Hot tray of scones coming!" It was about 15 seconds of chaos and panic. When I got out of the kitchen I turned and was faced with the woman who had freaked out about my squished scone. She just HAD to further explain to me WHY I couldn't one. At that point I didn't care about the fucking scone! Jeez-o-friggin'-pete!

My sweet, transgendered friend, Eva, saw what had happened and asked me if I got my scone. I told her I didn't and she said, "Go back and get one!" I said, "NO! I'm afraid!" She said, "I'll get you one!" and dashed back into the kitchen. She came out and handed me the same dented scone I had grabbed in the first place. I said, "Oh great, NOW I have to go HIDE!" The whole thing was completely hilarious.

Later on I saw the crazy kitchen woman outside the church. She made a point of coming up to me to tell me they now had enough scones to spare. I just said no thanks, but my inner dialog screamed, "Bitch, I don't want no scone!"

So I went through the whole day with nothing to sustain me but a squished, trophy scone. I was too afraid to go back into the kitchen after that. After I got home I made myself a nice, big salad.

Other than that, the weekend was great fun. All of the shows went really well. A few mistakes here and there but the performances were good. I had a wonderful time. I love working with Chris and Cyndi, and our new guy, Leonard, (an absolute gem!) was a pleasure to work with. I hope we can do it again next year. But if I get hungry I'm walking down to Farmer Boys.