Heh!

I just read all my posts from 2005. Holy shit! How did we get through that year without losing our minds?

Had myself a good bawl.

It was awesome. Man, I wish I could do that more often. I get to feeling so stuck and aimless and restless and blocked. I walk around feeling like I'd love to have a good cry but it never seems to bubble up to the surface. This one came from out of nowhere (well, not really), just snuck up on me fast. And even while I was in the throes of it I was glad it showed up.

I just got back from the family Christmas thing in San Luis Obispo. Dede brought out some things that came from Dad's house for us all to go through. There was a box of cards and stuff from when Mom died. She also has Dad's date books from 1960 on until 2007 or so. I knew that Dad had kept date books, but I thought that was only in the later years when he needed help remembering things. I was never aware of the earlier books. They mostly dealt with running his businesses, so I figure he probably kept them in his briefcase and only used them while at work. Anyway, I don't remember seeing them when I was growing up.

We read through three of them. These were the ones from the years when Drew, Dede and Stacey were born. I think we all wanted to see how Dad recorded these major life events and maybe even hoped for some insights, or at least a nice story. Nope. Just one line for Stacey's birth. And the page for Drew's birthday was torn out. I don't remember what was written about Dede. Anyway...

But the rest of the pages were filled with notes about his business. He recorded purchases of gasoline and oil changes. He listed the restaurants where he would take clients for breakfast or lunch back in his salesman days. He wrote about some of the things that needed to be done, or what had been done to maintain his trucks and other equipment. He also wrote notes to himself about motivational techniques and ways to deal with (manipulate) customers. When he was relaxed and just making a to-do list the handwriting was even and clearly legible. When he was writing his raging thoughts about ways to improve himself the writing was more harsh and pointed and strayed through the lines of the page. It was like he was trying to get the words down as fast as he could before losing his train of thought. These same ideas were repeated over and over throughout the books, throughout the years, and he always talked about the things he should do to improve himself, and not so much about what he had actually accomplished. I wish he could have acknowledged his own successes in that quest.

I'll connect this all later.

Before Christmas we had some very heavy rains. I noticed a big stain on the ceiling of the tv room. Shit. The roof is leaking. And since we've been back I see the stain has been joined by a few more. I don't know how bad the leak is or how much it will cost to have it fixed, but I do know that when this roof was put on the old gravel roof was left in place. It seems like everything the previous owners did to this place was half-assed. This roof is about ten years old. It shouldn't be leaking.

I've already got some major projects that need to be done. I didn't figure on having to get a new roof. I'm now unemployed, but I have some cash reserves. I was hoping to hang onto as much of that as I can, but I'll do whatever needs to be done to preserve this house. This roof situation is one more thing to add to the list of things that are getting me down right now. I don't think my mind is functioning all that well these days. When things get like this I'm reminded of how much I depended on Jim. I miss my partner. Neither of us was all that good on our own, but together we got things done. We were very good that way.

After wasting most of today watching tv, reading and goofing off on the computer I decided I really need to get out of this house. Earlier I did do something that might help me get out of this funk, or at least help me organize my thoughts and give me some direction. I made a form to help me stay focused and motivated for the next few months while I'm trying to get some very important things accomplished, namely, searching for a job, working on my bathroom, and getting myself prepared for gastric bypass surgery. Lately I've been spinning my wheels on all three. I printed out several copies of the form and put them in a binder. In that binder are copies of my resume and different cover letters to go with the different positions I've applied for. I also have copies of my letters of reference. I'm hoping all this will help me to be more organized with this job search.

I decided to go see True Grit. I took a shower and went into my room to get ready to go. I kept thinking about my stuck situation and thought maybe I should stop by Staples and get one of those Dad date books before I go to the movie. As soon as that thought hit me I was overcome with a blast of emotion. I let loose with a good one. I haven't cried like that in quite a while. I was a little worried the neighbors might hear me! Oh man, I needed that. Really, I feel better.

I know I'll be able to handle what I need to handle. I don't want to spend the money, but at least I have it. As I sat on my bed recovering from my excellent wail I was thinking I could really use a mentor or a counselor or someone like that. A non-spiritual spiritual advisor. I don't want a therapist (at least not right now), but it would be nice to have some wise person to talk things out with who wouldn't want to muck up the conversation with God talk, or advice on crystals and herbs. Years ago I took a meditation class from a Buddhist nun. That was pretty cool. It made me feel very peaceful and clear, but I wasn't always keen on her beliefs. Buddhists aren't ever supposed to get angry about anything, and I think that sometimes getting royally pissed off is the appropriate response for some situations.

Ok, I'm going to dry my hair and go to the movies. And buy a datebook.

Blogging from "work".

There's not a whole lot I can do right now. I'm waiting for Vacant to show up. Remember her? There are some reports that need to be done but they're in a program I don't have access to. She was supposed to be here an hour ago. So, I'm wasting your tax dollars and mine surfing the tubes and blogging.

Yesterday I had lunch at Marie Callender's. When the waiter came to my table he addressed me as "Miss". Ok, this is a pet peeve. To all young men out there- Do NOT call a middle-aged woman Miss. You might think we'd be flattered by that, but it just feels weird. I'm 54 years old and solidly in the Ma'am category. I've been getting Ma'am since I was in my twenties and reall, it's ok. The first time was a bit jarring but I quickly got over it.

I think they handle this better in the South. Women young and old are addressed as Ma'am and no one even thinks about it. Older men will often address younger men as "Sir". It's a sign of mutual respect. A little Southern gentility wouldn't be a bad idea all around.

It also bothers me when a younger female addresses a much older female as honey or sweetie. Maybe she's tring to be comforting, like in a hospital setting, but to me it's disrespectful. It sounds almost like a tactic to keep elderly patients docile and submissive. Maybe some old ladies like being treated that way, but I'd guess that most do not. Honey and sweetie are terms that are too forward and familiar for someone who was raised during an era when manners and customs were more formal. It is the privilege of the older woman to refer to the younger woman in that way.

Besides, the only people who can get away with that are gay men.

So, young man, don't call me Miss. Ma'am is perfectly acceptable. So is Your Majesty.

Facebook killed my blog.

But it's not totally dead yet.

It's raining, like, big time. There's a leak in my roof. I'm hoping it doesn't develop into something big and ugly before I can afford to get it fixed, which might be quite a long time. My job at RCC ends on Thursday, maybe even tomorrow if I get all my work done and if I feel like getting the hell out of there. Really I've checked out of that place, mentally and emotionally. I just don't give a shit.

I've been applying here and there, all online. My resume has been updated and I think it's in pretty good shape. I've applied for several jobs at RCC, but I think I'll never get an interview there. I just haven't yet figured out which hoop they want me to jump through. RCC has become a dead end, but I'll still keep applying. So yeah, after this week I'll be unemployed. Feels weird.

I'm in my usual Christmas funk. I never used to be that way. It's been creeping up the last few years. I just don't get into it anymore. I like our little family's Christmas Eve and I love going to Dede's. I just don't like what the rest of the world does with Christmas. And, of course, the whole thing would be more fun if I had money to spend. But we're in the home stretch now. January is just around the corner, but January isn't without its baggage. So, after the 18th I can settle in and start enjoying the new year?

I'll be starting school again. Just a walking class to satisfy the PE requirement and to get me closer to the front of the line for Spring registration. If you miss one major semester you fall off the face of the planet. I'm glad to be going to school again.

I need to find a way to be happy again. There are some very good things happening in my life, and they're helping me to have some happy and contented moments, but the general picture isn't that good. Fear is creeping in again. Procrastination has me by the ankles. The inertia sofa beckons.

SO! I blog! Wow! I just realized that this IS helping me to feel better. I do enjoy writing. I enjoy the creative act of getting it all down in a way that entertains me (and you). Ok, that's one treatment for this funk I can try.

I feel like I need something to look forward to. It would also help if I felt like I was in control of some aspects of my life. Ok, so make plans. Going to school is good. Exercise is good. Taking this class means I'll be walking every day for six weeks straight. I was thinking it might be fun to volunteer at KVCR. Just a thought.

Ok, what are some other positive things I can include in my life?

Joining the Claremont ukulele group (I haven't played much in months).
Work on the house. Progress on the front bathroom is kind of actually happening.
Diet (New Years resolution anyone?). No, really, I have to to qualify for bariatric surgery.
Make some art, bitch!

Wow, that rain is really coming down.

Recent stuff

I'm back to dieting and getting more exercise. Paige recently joined Bally's fitness and she got them to give me a free three month membership. It's a pretty nice gym and I really like the staff. They have a pool. I'll probably join their water aerobics class on Saturday mornings. One very cool thing they have is Zumba classes. You have to pay $5 per class, which is the only thing that costs extra. I'm guessing it's because they have to pay the Zumba people to be able to offer the class and use the Zumba name. Anyway, it's worth it. Last night I attended my first class. It's a lot of fun! I'm looking forward to being able to do all those moves more fully. Right now my back and knees can't handle it. The music and most of the dance moves are mostly Latin, but I recognized some African steps and some belly dancing. I was amazed that I lasted the whole hour. It's actually pretty easy once the steps are broken down. And the intensity is up to you.

My job at DSPS is ending in December. I've already applied for some of the new postings at RCC. Recently more positions have opened up and there are several that I think I'm qualified to do. But there's a lot of competition still so I gotta keep plugging away at it. I'm also going to apply at Kaiser.

At the end of this month Tracey and I are flying to Washington DC to meet up with Dean and KC to go to the Rally to Restore Sanity. I think it's going to be a blast! Anyway, no matter what happens at the rally, we'll all have fun. Gotta figure out where the good sushi places are in DC.

I guess that's it for now.

Blogging from work

No big news, I'm just goofing off.

Work continues to be a complete waste of time. Sorry, taxpayers. We're all pretty sure the grant won't be renewed, so this job will end the middle of December. I've updated my resume and I'm going to go down to Kaiser to drop it off and take the typing test. I've been told that I have a pretty decent chance of getting a job there. We'll see.

I'm creeping along with the work on my house. I have the big bathroom cabinet all cleaned out and ready for demo. I might start that on Friday. It's my birthday this weekend so I won't get very much work done. Woo-hoo, we're goin' to Joe's! Anyway, I want to get the cabinet ripped out so the plumber can come and work his magic. After work today I'm going to the (newly discovered by me) Habitat for Humanity Restore store. It's their salvage place. I'm hoping to find a pantry cabinet that will work well in that bathroom. If I can find something there it will be more than awesome. I can't afford something nice right now.

Even if I can't find a replacement cabinet right away it won't be so bad. That space used to be a closet, so the interior is already nicely finished. All I would need to do is put in some shelves and put up a curtain and it wouldn't look bad. I could continue with fixing up the bathroom without feeling like I was dealing with a gaping hole. Realizing that has given me the courage to dive right in with a crowbar and hammer.

Ok, enough goofing off.

Wow. A big push.

Kind of strange. We've made some progress with the house that almost doesn't feel like progress because nothing got painted or ripped out.

This morning the plumber came to have a look at the job. After discussing it I decided that I'm going to rip out the bathroom cupboard and install a proper cabinet. I wanted to do that anyway, but I was hoping I could put it off. The bathroom project just got bigger. The plumber is going to email the estimate to me.

I moved all the pet food storage cans out to the sun room. Lio is not pleased. I've been wanting to get those big cans out of the kitchen for a while. It looks much better in there now. I worked on cleaning the garage for a while. You can't really see the progress at this point, but it's there. Got rid of a lot of stuff.

Tonight Paige and I FINALLY assembled her bed. I had been planning to get a new mattress and give her my old one. It's killing my back but she likes it. I've been on the look out for a new bed, but I haven't found one that I like. When I can afford it I'm going to get a latex mattress. I tried one out a couple weeks ago when Tracey and I were out shopping. Oh man, it was heaven! But it was about $1,800. I think I know where I can get one cheaper. Anyway, I had told Paige that when we get her bed put together she can have my mattress. Well, that happened this evening. So, tonight I'll be sleeping on one of the inflatables. Probably will be for a while.

Ooh, I'm getting excited about this bathroom project. Here's the big ol' list-
Get the valves fixed, shower and sink.
Rip out the old vanity and sink.
Repair the tile under the vanity.
Repair the huge, gaping hole in the wall where the shower leak ruined the plaster.
Take out the toilet.
Repair the plaster near the floor that was damaged when the washing machine leaked.
Install new baseboards.
Assemble the new vanity and medicine cabinet.
Paint.
Get a new toilet and install.
Install new large cabinet.
Install new vanity, sink and medicine cabinet.
Get a new light fixture.
Window treatment and decorating.
Someday a new shower door.

Wow.

Poor, neglected blog

I think Facebook has killed my blog. Evil Facebook. Pretty dumb since this is the place where I live. This blog has gotten me through the toughest of times. I love being able to go back and read some of the old posts. I'm amazed at some of the things we went through, and so glad to be on the other side of it all. Still, even when I was going through the worst of it, there was plenty to laugh about.

This phase of my life doesn't seem to have much of an identity. I went through those years of being Daughter and Caregiver of Crazy Alzheimer's Dad, and then Grieving Widow. Pretty potent shit. Now things are foggier and more bogged down. Kinda swampy. That tough stuff was tough, but at least there was life in it. This? I don't really know what this is.

I'm such a blob. Physically, things have been difficult. My back was giving me a lot of trouble (fixed for now), and I've been inconsistent with getting exercise. My body and I aren't such good friends right now. I'm kind of ok with it, because that situation will soon change. Other parts of my life are blobby as well. The house still overwhelms me, but I've been enjoying getting some work done. I've been marking things off my to-do list, which feels pretty good. Some things are moving in a good direction, others are stagnant. I've been getting back to my old mantra- More out than in, more out than in... Today I took a carload of stuff to donate to the Ramona cheer squad's rummage sale. Yes, it's come to this. I've donated to cheerleaders.

The blobbiest thing of all is my shitty job. Man, I wish just one person there knew what it's all about. Those of us who are new certainly don't know, but damn, shouldn't the people who've been there twenty years have it down by now? There's no real leadership in that office. No unity or caring. No teamwork. Everyone is just doing their own job.

Today I snuck off to an empty office and poked around looking at job postings and websites. Technically it's kosher, because that's part of what we do. But I wasn't trying to find a job for someone else. I filled out the job search page on the Kaiser website. It didn't come up with a single match for the criteria I entered. Getting the hell out of the DSPS office is going to take some time.

This isn't the lowest point of my life. Things are hovering just below the neutral line. It's time for a kick in the ass. A big, juicy project would help. I've barely touched my uke in the last couple months. I guess I just need something to get excited about. Ok, that's it. I'm calling a plumber tomorrow. Time to take on that front bathroom.

Happy Birthday, Paige!

Yesterday she went to the beach with her friends. Today Lindsay and Kyle came to town and we all (including Tracey) went to Joe's Sushi. We had a great time. Gin (sp?) the manager (or owner. I don't know which) really likes us. It's pretty cool. Whenever the kids go without me he always asks about me. When I'm there he'll always send over a glass of wine or some sake. Sometimes it's a whole bottle of wine or sake. Tonight it was sake for Tracey and me. We all got the all-you-can-eat sushi, but he also sent us a complimentary plate of sashimi. When we left he gave Paige a $50 gift certificate. Jeez, what did we do to deserve such special treatment? We only go to Joe's for every special occasion. Every birthday, graduation, every whatever.

I re-read my last post. Man, things at work haven't changed much. I applied for one of the library positions, but I haven't heard anything back. The wheels turn slowly. I reeeally hope I get one of those jobs. I can't wait to get out of DSPS. My attitude is so cynical towards that place and this job. That is not my usual M.O. When I was at the District office I loved going to work. Now I dread it. This can't go on.

Paige and her friends went to court the other day to try to get the restraining order against the stalker made permanent. The judge denied it. Kind of scary, but that same afternoon we got a call from the police officer who processed our police report. He seemed very keen on contacting the guy for a "friendly" visit. It was great talking to him. I'd love to know how it turns out.

Broadway in the Basement went really well. Too bad there were only two performances. Two more would have been fun.

Now I'm in get-life-back-to-normal mode. My back started acting up towards the end of rehearsals. I have my second chiro appointment tomorrow (today?). It's not as sensitive as it was and I'm hoping one more visit will end this current episode of spasms and pain. I've been working on getting the house back in order. I want it to get back to being guest-ready at a moment's notice.

My tomatoes are really kicking out now. They're so good and juicy. I've made three big batches of salsa so far. Sometimes when I'm watering the vines I'll just graze. Damn, they're good.

It's late. Time for bed. Busy day tomorrow.

Catching up

So. Started the new job. The first few days were fairly awful. We were given piles of work to do but there was nothing set up for us to be able to do it. No one's RCC email was set up, no one had access to the programs we needed and there was almost no space to work. That office has too many people working in it and they just hired six new student employees. We are stumbling all over each other. It's a little better now that things are mostly set up. I was able to get most of my tasks done. Right now it's hard for me to see how this is going to be successful.

I really like the women I'm working with. I'm talking about the new hires. Communication is very good and everyone has done the best they can taking on their new jobs. I have a lot more faith in my team than I have in the people who run the place. They are professional, organized, and easy to get along with.

On Tuesdays I work in Riverside, Wednesdays in Moreno Valley. In MoVal there's almost nothing to do. It all depends on whether or not Scattered shows up. If she's there she can give me something to do. Last Wednesday she never showed up. Vacant had given me a list of files to pull and see if they are still current. I got started on that job, but didn't get very far because I discovered that the list of hundreds of names wasn't in alphabetical order. I called Vacant (twice) and asked her if she could send me a new list that was sorted alphabetically. She realized she had given me the wrong list. Once I got the new one (about 50 names, still not in alphabetical order) I was able to get back to the job. Success! I managed to find THREE files! You taxpayers should be happy to know it took me only four hours to find three files that I then had to put back because they didn't contain the information I was seeking. I came back to Riverside to work on payroll. At least I got that done.

Tanya sent me a job posting last week for four permanent part-time positions at the Riverside library. I updated my resume and sent it in. These positions all pay 2 bucks more per hour than I was making at Student Services. Fingers crossed.

Broadway in the Basement goes up on the 17th. I've been working on props and so far I'm very pleased with the way they're turning out. The house is blasted, of course. When I'm doing a project like this I don't do much housework. I did get the kitchen cleaned up yesterday.

We've been dealing with a stalker lately. One of Paige's friends broke up with her boyfriend and now he's stalking everyone she knows. We noticed that the tires on the passenger side of Paige's car kept going flat. I just bought those tires last November. Turns out they had been punctured. We had them replaced and the next day they were flat again. Had to replace those too. Now when Paige comes home she hides her car in the next neighborhood and walks to the house. We filed a police report and Paige's friend got a temporary restraining order. It hasn't been served yet. I want them to get a big, burly cop to show up at his door and serve him. Personally, I'd like to pound his face until he coughs up $300. I hope this ends soon.

So, yeah, the last few weeks have been pretty stressful. Right now I'm just doing what I can to get through it. I'll be glad when the show's over. It takes up a lot of my time. I'd rather be working on the house.

Sleepy. Rehearsal in the morning, then it's back to the prop machine. I need to get the house cleaned up before Sunday. Lindsay and Kyle are coming over for 4th of July dinner and fireworks. Got a lot of catching up to do with them.

Goodnight.

That's it. I'm stuck.

The meeting didn't go well. At this point I've told the story so many times I'm weary of the whole thing. I had this uber stupid, circular conversation with New Boss and Scattered that went on and on until I finally was able to figure out what had happened. It all goes back to their appallingly poor communication.

There were two grants. One had the position that was offered to me and the other has two office assistant positions. The first grant didn't come through, but the second one did. But they didn't tell me that that's what had happened. All they did was plug me into whatever they had available. Big difference.

It would have been very helpful if someone had called or emailed and said, "Donita, the position we had offered you didn't come through, but we can offer you this other position so you'll at least still have a job." THAT would have made a big difference. I could have tried to find something else in the time that I had. But they ran out the clock and didn't tell me until this whole thing blew up. And at the end of the meeting I was told that if that other position becomes available, I'm free to apply for it. Gee, thanks.

So, Wednesday I'm going to go in for orientation and start this new life adventure. Fewer hours for less pay and working for people who... Oh, nevermind.

Large anger.

Wow, it’s been a while. Damn you, Facebook.

Most of you know about my new job. My new, supposedly fabulous job that is loaded with potential, but at this point is basically a linear move. But what care I, since it could one day blossom into fabulous full-timeness, dotted with bennies and populated with peoples yet unmet? Well, this morning it turned into a major fucking SNAFU situation of what is NOT supposed to be normal!

I’m pissed. And let me just say that anyone who got through that first paragraph deserves some kind of prize.

I first heard about and was offered this job, like, the end of January. Might have been the first week of February. Anyway… I was told I would probably start the first week of April, which came and went with no communication from the new boss (I’ll call her New Boss). A couple weeks later I was called in for an interview (Wait, didn’t I already have the interview? Oh, ok. Another interview). I was handed a piece of paper and told to take a seat out in the hall and read it. On this paper was written two job descriptions. One was Office Assistant, which I was already doing and bore no resemblance to what had been described to me when I was first presented with the idea. The other job description (damn, where did I put that paper?) also didn’t match up with what I had been told, but at least it was close. When I went back into New Boss’s office for the interview we were joined by the woman who heads up the job gittin’ program, and her assistant. I’ll call them Scattered and Vacant.

I forgot to mention that earlier I had a meeting with Scattered. She told me that I’d be working 16 hours a week, but I’d be getting paid $6 more than what I’m making now. I figured that was ok for a start. She also kind of, sort of, told me some of the details about the job, but I left her office feeling that I hadn’t learned much more than I already knew.

The interview went ok, I guess. We talked about the job descriptions and I let them know right away that I wasn’t interested in the Office Assistant position, since I’d already been doing that. So we talked about the other position. Then New Boss launched into a kind of oration, while Scattered sat there and grunted her agreement. It was weird. Vacant just sort of sat there looking like she was glad to be included. I left there feeling a little odd about the whole thing, but I decided I’d keep an open mind.

Then I waited. I figured someone would contact me and tell me when I was going to start. After a bit more waiting I sent New Boss an email asking for an update on the status of the situation. After several more days of waiting I emailed her again. Tick-tock, etc. Finally one day she stopped by because she had a scheduled meeting with Current Boss, and since she had to pass my desk to get to Current Boss’s office, she couldn’t avoid me. She said she was still waiting to hear from the State Department of the People Who Give Us the Grant Money. I thanked her for getting back in touch with me and went back to waiting.

Then one day the news finally came. She told me that the Board had to approve my hire and that they were meeting May 18th and it was just a formality and I could actually start working at my new job on May 19th. Oh joy! I had to wait only two more weeks!

May 18th came and went, and it looked like May 19th was going to slink away without any news of what the Board had done with my hiring approval. I emailed New Boss and asked her for an update. Then after a few hours Current Boss’s assistant called New Boss’s office, but New Boss was out. Later she called again, but her calls were never returned. The next day she sent me a forwarded email she had gotten from Vacant. Vacant said the the contract had to go back to Sacramento for final approval and I would be able to start working at the new job June 16th. Oh joy! I had to wait only three more weeks!

Which brings us to this morning. (Oops, it’s after midnight, so I guess it was yesterday.) I got a call from Vacant the other day. She needed me to come to the new office to sign an Intent to Hire form. This morning I skipped on over to her cubicle and she handed me the form. I noticed that this form contained what appeared to be a couple of errors. I have a sinking feeling that these are not errors, but my first solid indications that I am getting royally screwed. The new position lists me as an Office Assistant III (currently I’m an Office Assistant IV), and showed my pay to be $2 LESS than what I’m making now. Inside my head I heard that Uma-Thurman-pissed-off-Kill-Bill siren. I also felt that old familiar feeling of my throat closing and my eyes tearing up. I had to get the fuck out of there fast. But in my shock and confusion I started to ask questions. Luckily, I quickly realized who I was talking to. I asked Vacant to make me a copy of the form, which took so long I was starting to worry that she was doing it by hand. Not good, since I can only keep a lid on my emotional response for a minute tops.

I bolted out of there and headed to work. It’s possible that the occupants of any car on the freeway that came within fifty feet of mine could hear me screaming a steady stream of, “FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK YEEWWWWW!….”

When I got to work I told Current Boss’s assistant what had happened. Well, I choked out a blubbery description of what had happened and she got the jist. Current Boss was out of town today, but she’ll be in tomorrow. We’ll take it up with her then. Current Boss is awesome, and she’s done nothing but look out for me ever since I started this job. Oh yeah, the reason I can’t stay at my current job is there’s some major reshuffling going on at the college and our office is being, um, deleted. I gotta go no matter what.

After I talked to CB’s assistant, I went to the bathroom to try to compose myself. (Heh! At first I wrote “compost”) My eyes looked like they always do after a cry. One might think I’d had a run-in with an angry lemon tree. I pulled it together and went back to my desk. Just as I sat down Paige called. She had pulled a muscle in her back the day before and was in a lot of pain. She wanted to be taken to Urgent Care. She said she felt bad about causing me to miss a day of work but I was already in the hall punching the elevator button. Gotta go, my baby’s in pain, whoosh!

This must be the longest blog post ever. AND this is just the beginning. I vented to a few friends and my bro-in-law, who works in that office. Maybe this whole thing is just a mistake, or a huge misunderstanding. Maybe it’ll all be fixed tomorrow morning. We’ll see. But this morning (yesterday morning) I was angrier than I’ve been in a LONG time. I think it’s a good thing that all the players weren’t available right when it was going down. I needed to have my little explosion and it was good that most of it happened alone in my car.

The Scone Incident

Boy, it's been a while since my last post.

This weekend was the Dickens Festival. I did this fun show at the Congregational Church, basically the same show as last year. It's the Queen's Tea, which is an English music hall style show where we sing silly songs and interact with Queen Victoria. They serve a very nice high tea with freshly baked scones, finger sandwiches, mini quiche and fruit. It's really a fun little experience.

Yesterday the kitchen staff told us that we could come into the kitchen and get something to eat any time because we were working so hard on entertaining everyone. Really, just come on in and have anything you want. Just make sure you use the little plastic gloves when you're taking food from the bins. It was great. I had a scone, a cookie, and a couple of the mini quiches, which got me through the day quite nicely.

Today after the first show I decided I wanted a scone. I went into the kitchen and found our marvelous pianist, Leonard, happily munching on one. I told the guys who were making them that that's what I came in for and they enthusiastically directed me to the rack of warm scones that were fresh from the oven. I put on a plastic glove and grabbed a plate. As I reached for a scone my hoop skirt snagged on a trash can, which fell over. This caused me to lurch forward a little, which resulted in my scone getting a bit dented. The woman who was running the kitchen turned around and said, "Oh no! Please don't do that! We might not have enough!" I told her that I was sorry and that I didn't know. I showed her the scone and told her it was kind of squished. She reached out and took it off my plate and put it back on the rack! I was dumbfounded! Then one of the kitchen staff kind of shoved a finger sandwich into my hand, I guess as compensation. I was trying to leave when one of the guys shouted, "Out of the way! Hot tray of scones coming!" It was about 15 seconds of chaos and panic. When I got out of the kitchen I turned and was faced with the woman who had freaked out about my squished scone. She just HAD to further explain to me WHY I couldn't one. At that point I didn't care about the fucking scone! Jeez-o-friggin'-pete!

My sweet, transgendered friend, Eva, saw what had happened and asked me if I got my scone. I told her I didn't and she said, "Go back and get one!" I said, "NO! I'm afraid!" She said, "I'll get you one!" and dashed back into the kitchen. She came out and handed me the same dented scone I had grabbed in the first place. I said, "Oh great, NOW I have to go HIDE!" The whole thing was completely hilarious.

Later on I saw the crazy kitchen woman outside the church. She made a point of coming up to me to tell me they now had enough scones to spare. I just said no thanks, but my inner dialog screamed, "Bitch, I don't want no scone!"

So I went through the whole day with nothing to sustain me but a squished, trophy scone. I was too afraid to go back into the kitchen after that. After I got home I made myself a nice, big salad.

Other than that, the weekend was great fun. All of the shows went really well. A few mistakes here and there but the performances were good. I had a wonderful time. I love working with Chris and Cyndi, and our new guy, Leonard, (an absolute gem!) was a pleasure to work with. I hope we can do it again next year. But if I get hungry I'm walking down to Farmer Boys.

Facebook made me disappear

Can someone tell me if I'm still there? They keep telling me I'm under 18 and won't let me in.

Hello, 2010

As soon as this cold goes away we'll have some fun.

Had a very enjoyable time up at Dede and Dave's. We went for a good, long walk on a boardwalk and then had a picnic. Not like a regular beach boardwalk. This one was in a wildish little park over a small lake. Had a good time watching the ducks and pelicans. It continued over sand dunes and ended at the beach. I was really glad to get some exercise. When we got back to the cars we had a nice lunch. We had to pack it up quickly because a hungry raccoon showed up. I'm sure he's worked that parking lot many times before. You have to be careful with wildlife that's had a lot of human interaction. No telling what they might do. I once had a squirrel at the Grand Canyon jump in my lap and try to steal my sandwich.

We went wine tasting and had a pretty good time goofing with one of the vintners. He took us on a little tour (really, he just wanted a smoke) and for some reason he took offense to an offhand remark that Stacey made. I think he misunderstood her. He wasn't really mad, but decided to play it up and made Stacey stay at the back of the group. It was kind of weird, but we made a joke out of it. The guy was a bit of a prick, but he made some damn good wine.

After that we went to dinner at our usual fancy schmancy restaurant, McPhee's. This time we were wise and pre-ordered the pork chop. Drew, Mindy and I had those and everyone else had beef and chicken. All of it was very good.

The next day I started coming down with a cold. I was hoping I could hold it off with zinc lozenges and vitamins, but the sucker took hold and screwed up the rest of my vacation. Still, I managed to have a pretty good time. After another day at Dede's we took off for Vegas. Whew! A long drive over mountains and valleys. Lots of altitude changes to screw with my clogged up head.

We had a great time in Vegas. Did some gambling. I was willing to lose $100 for entertainment purposes and I ended up being successfully entertained. Stacey was the lucky one this trip. She won $1,000!

We had gone there because Audra surprised Tori with tickets to a Blackeyed Peas concert. This was a very big deal for them. While they were at the concert Drew, Mindy and I took the boys to see Blue Man Group. Man, what a fun show! Just before we went in I was wondering if I'd see any celebrities this trip. Just then Ed Begley jr, went walking by. He was going to the same show and ended up sitting in the row in front of us several seats down. Blue Man Group put on a dazzling show. Pretty good for three guys and a band.

I'd been to Vegas twice before, but we were just passing through and didn't get to do much. Even this trip was just a taste. But I had fun. Las Vegas is a crazy place. On our last morning there I was puttering around my room packing my stuff. My room had a door to the adjoining room. All was pretty quiet and then I heard some moaning. And then some more moaning. The people in the next room were having a nice morning indeed. She was moaning and gasping, he was humming, so I'm assuming she was on the receiving end of some very good head. Call me a perv, but I sat there and listened to the whole thing. Hey, free entertainment!

We came home on Thursday, just in time for New Year's Eve. Tracey invited me to a party, but I just didn't feel up to it. I went to bed at 11:45. It's the first time in a long time that I didn't stay up for the new year. Even if I don't go to a party I'll at least go outside and listen to the reveling. Being sick sucks.

Paige has had a fever for a couple days now. She's feeling a little better today. I'm getting better, too. I just want to get well so I can get on with it. Last night I started chipping away at the rotten plaster in the bathroom. The hole kept getting bigger and bigger as I pulled out chunks of wet plaster. Shit. There's a leak somewhere in the wall. Who knows how much I'll have to rip out before I find it? The wood is also in bad shape. I've got a big problem there.

So, my goal for the next few months is to exercise and diet and get myself strong so I can handle this stuff. I can't deal with house issues if my back is bothering me.

I have jury duty next week. I just called to check on the schedule. I don't have to go in on Monday, but I don't know about the rest of the week. Who knows? I may get lucky.

So, 2010 is off to an incredibly average start. More of the same, more of the same.