Ruh-roh

I pulled the ugly plastic base board off the wall and found this.And this.
Oh, crap.

I wanted to remove the baseboard because it was poorly installed and it looked just plain awful. The wallboard next to the shower is a bit punky and needs to be patched. I knew that going in. It's no big deal, wallboard is fairly easy to deal with. But I really didn't want to get more involved than that. More involved I shall get.

The wallboard all around the floor is rotten and I know why. The drain for the washing machine is clogged enough that sometimes it can't handle the amount of water that's being pumped into it. It often overflows. You can see it running out from under the washer and I thought that's all there was to it. No big deal, we'd just mop it up and stand there turning the washer on and off until it finishes draining. I was planning to call a plumber eventually. I guess I'll do it NOW. The water has been running back behind the bathroom wall.

Also, it looks like there might be some termite damage. That might be old damage from before I moved in. The owners had the house was tented when it was sold. I sure hope that's the case. I really would rather not spend money on that.

I'm going to remove the toilet and the vanity so I can do all the repairs without trying to work in that cramped space. Drew is coming home tomorrow from vacation. I will definitely need his help with this one. I don't do plumbing.

Ah, the joys of home ownership.

What have I done?

This is progress, right?The sheer magnitude of the home improvement projects was getting me down today. There's so much that needs to be done and I can't get started on it as fast as I'd like. So, ok, I can't solve all my problems at once but I can get started on a few things. Time to attack the front bathroom. Click on the photos to enlarge.Paige's friend, Nicki, asked if she could do some odd jobs for me to earn a little cash. Oh yes, I do have a few things that need to be done. I put her to work peeling wallpaper. She and I worked for about 2 hours. At one point I decided to dive right in and do some demo. I took out the 1970's monstrosity of a medicine cabinet. This hole is where the original cabinet used to be. I'm going to replace the light fixture and I'd like to see if I can move the outlet down and to the left a little. The vanity and sink will be replaced by a cool-looking set I got at Ikea. Tonight I was checking out the floor around the vanity. When they tiled the floor they tiled around the crappy vanity, which is a different size and shape from the new one. I'm going to have to think about that a bit. There's no way I'm going to rip out what's already there just to patch a little empty space. Mosaic, maybe.

It feels good to get things rolling in there. There's no turning back now.

Harry Potter and a haircut- two bits

Jeff and I saw the new Harry Potter the other night. Loved it. Visually it's quite stunning. I'm so glad the special effects people have figured out how to appropriately use computer juice. There was a time when it seemed like they were constantly saying, "Ok, let's see what this baby can do." and then they'd do it over and over again until there was nothing but effects overload. And from what I saw in the trailers it looks like that stuff is still happening. But in this movie they got it just right. I felt like I was being carried along with the flying wizards.

I also felt like it was pretty powerful emotionally, especially the scene where Dumbledore and Harry are in the cave trying to retrieve the Horcrux. Heart wrenching, really. Things did get a little goofy when they were dealing with teenage love, but even that dredged up some painful and bittersweet memories. I really got involved in this movie.

I like seeing the new Harry Potter films with Jeff. Two summers ago we read all of the books together. I enjoyed discussing them with him on our Mt. Rubidoux walks. This time I felt like I should have read The Half Blood Prince again before seeing the film. There's so much I'd forgotten. I might go see it again tonight.

Today I got a haircut. Hmm... I'm not so sure I like it. I think it'll be perfect in about two weeks when the bangs grow out a bit. Yesterday at work I searched the internet for hairstyles. I printed out a couple photos and showed them to Maria. I was really just trying to give her an idea of what I wanted but she tried to replicate exactly what she saw in the photo. I actually do like the cut, it's just the bangs that bug me. The length now is just below the shoulder. I got tired of leaning on my long hair.

The furniture repair guy was supposed to come by this afternoon but he didn't show. I have this cool, mid-cent-mod bedroom set that I want him to work on. I want glides installed in the drawers. I want to get it done soon so I can get my bedroom painted and arranged. On Monday the guy from Second Time Around is coming to get the rest of the gift wrap. Don't worry, I'm keeping enough of it to keep everyone stocked up for years to come. But I really don't need 15,000 sheets of paper stacked up in my bedroom.

Yesterday I put almost half of my inheritance cash into investments. Man, that felt weird. I keep feeling like I should have held some back. One chunk is locked in for 10 years but I can get to the other one if I need to without too much of a penalty. But what I kept out might not be enough to do everything I had planned and still have enough to supplement my income. So, ok, I'll just scale back a little. Maybe I won't get that retaining wall put in.

My baby fishtail palm arrived yesterday. I need to get it into a pot. I hope it lives.

Weekend with Bob

Walking helped. I feel better. On my third circuit around my block I discovered that Lio was following me. So, ok dude, you've got to keep up. He whined the whole time. We passed by some people hanging out in their front yard. He got so freaked out he froze. I had to go back and pick him up and carry him until they were out of earshot. Silly boy.

This weekend I went to Long Beach and had a nice visit with Bob Craig. We basically had a two day blab fest with activities. It was great. On Saturday we went to the Museum of Latin American Art. I'd love to go there again. Almost every piece in there was mind-blowing. I enjoyed discussing the art with Bob. After that we hit some thrift stores. A couple of them specialized in mid-century modern furniture. I was in heaven. Bought some lamp shades.

Bob has a photography business on the side and he showed me his photos. He does head shots for actors and weddings and family portraits, but the most interesting photos were the nudes. And not just because they're pitchurs of nekkid people. They were really good.

We spent a lot of time just hanging out. We went to some really yummy restaurants. Just down the street from his place is a Centinella pet store. We went down and checked out Lindsay's signage. On the exit door was a sign that had a drawing of a kitty that was very clearly Ivy. Ivy the exit kitty. It was fun walking around and seeing Lindsay's work.

I had a very nice, relaxing time with a good friend. Even learned a secret or two! I also enjoyed exploring Long Beach. I'm looking forward to future visits. Thanks, Bob. It was a fun weekend.

Bleah!

Feeling a little heartsick today. Thinking about Jim. I have all these house plans and no one to do them with. He and I had such a good time improving the house on Sunny Manor. We didn't get to do everything we wanted with that place but it was a much better house when we left. Man, we really worked well together. I miss that a lot.

I shopped for dishwashers today. I was hoping to spend less than $400 but the cheaper models are really flimsy. The quality seems to kick in at around $600. I need to check Consumer Reports. Dean?

Today I cleaned, puttered and made lists. Not a whole lot got done but my brain is a bit more organized. And my kitchen is much cleaner. I did a lot of detail work in there. Whoop-dee-doo.

Yeah, today I had that WTF? thing going on. I haven't felt that way in a while. For that first year after Jim died it felt so weird to think of him as being, like, gone. Just gone. Like, that's impossible. He can't be gone. It doesn't make sense. And that's what I was feeling and thinking today. It's been two and a half years. In January it will be three years. One day it'll be ten years since he left. The time just goes. My mom's been gone 22 years. My monkey mind can't wrap itself around all that.

So, as I was walking around Lowe's I was once again pondering the whole me-ness of it all, which is not a good way to shop. I was freshly reminded that it's all up to me. I have to find the energy and the gumption to make it all happen on my own. It really is more fun doing it with someone, with a partner. The job doesn't look so big that way. Too bad, toots.

So, I bought an iron and picked out paint samples.

I need to walk.

Mo' money. Thanks, Dad.

I know it's tacky to talk about money, but this inheritance is the source of all the stuff that's going to be happening here soon, so I think I should at least mention it. Yep, I gots me a wad.

Not the biggest wad that was ever bequeathed, but it'll make a huge difference in my life. Actually, it already has since my house is the biggest chunk of it. The rest of it will be divided, saved, invested and spent. I must be wise with my wad.

Pretty soon I'll be using some of it to take care of this house. My ideas for that are starting to gel, which is pretty exciting. Some of the work I can do myself and I'm looking forward to the challenge. I'll hire some burly dudes for the heavy lifting and I'll pay some smart and experienced dudes to do the things I really shouldn't attempt. But I can dig a trench and I can operate a power washer and I can paint. Here's the plan so far-

First, remove some trees and the spent landscaping. Start with an empty canvas. Once the trees and bushes are cleared I can see where I want to draw my lines. Along the far side of the house I want to put in a retaining wall and cover the ground with concrete. Right now it's nothing but a weedy and very steep slope, which is hard to maintain. I tried pulling the weeds out there and I kept falling down the hill. Putting in a retaining wall will add about 2 or 3 feet of useable space and make the whole thing tidy. I can then use that space for a dog run and storage. The retaining wall will continue out to the front yard, where it will dead-end into two large, step-down planters (these plans aren't yet set in, um, concrete).

And now to the front porch. I think I'll have to bust out the existing concrete before I can pour the new stuff. I'm going to enlarge the porch and make it into a small patio. I have an idea for a privacy screen which will look very mid-century modern, very retro. A new walkway will be poured. I want to widen the driveway so two cars can park there side-by-side.

Once all the cement work is done I'll start on paint prep. I'll power wash the whole place, have the stucco repaired and scrape and sand. The gutters will be removed. I'll make any wood repairs that need to be done and fill in the gaps with foam and caulk. Then I'll prime and paint. I picked out the colors today. A dusky teal for the shiplap siding, celery green for the stuccoed upper part and a creamy white for the trim.

After the house is painted I'll install new gutters. Then it's time for the fun stuff like adding plants and irrigation. I'd like to get rid of my lawn but I'm not solid on that idea yet. I know I can get my water usage way down if I use mostly California natives. One non-native plant I'm looking forward to getting is a fishtail palm. I saw some at the Huntington Museum that day I went with Virginia and I totally fell in love with them. I've never seen them anywhere else. Hey, I might be the first person in Riverside to get one!This is a very large one. I didn't see any that big at the Huntington. Click on the photo to enlarge.

I'm also adding a large planting bed that will run across the front of the house down by the sidewalk. In front of the bedroom windows I'm going to place five large ceramic pots planted with fruitless olive trees. They'll stay small for a long time and I think it'll look quite sharp, kind of zen.

And that's about it for now. I have lots of other ideas for the driveway and back yard but for now I want to concentrate on the front. I can't wait to get started.

Me date

In that first year after Jim died I would occasionally take myself out for dinner and a movie. It felt like a nice way to pamper myself when I really needed it. I haven't done that in quite a while. I wasn't really planning on it but since I had nothing to do tonight it felt like the right thing to do.

First I went to Borders and got the new issue of Atomic Ranch. I also got a gardening design magazine. Good stuff in there. Lots of inspiration for my front yard. Then I went to California Pizza Kitchen and had their new Moroccan chicken salad, which is freakin' to DIE for. Lordy, it was good. I got the half order, which is plenty big enough. Then I went to Cherry On Top for a little frozen yogurt. I strolled down to Gottschalk's to peek in the windows. They're closing in 9 days and they've finally gotten serious about lowering their prices. After that I moseyed up towards the theater.

I ran into Bill and Judy from uke circle. They're fun to talk to. You'll never fully explore whatever subject you're discussing because after a few sentences they're off onto something else. Plus, there was a band playing at the Plaza and they were kind of loud. Still, it was a fun conversation. I really like Bill and Judy. Judy's an artist. We both think we need to have a girly afternoon of creative creating and invite Virginia. We should do that soon.

After I left them I went to the movies. I saw Away We Go. I sort of liked it. It has its moments but it's not the romp I expected. It left me a little emotionally meh. Just kind of meh. Well, a little better than meh.

Anyway, it was a nice evening.

Stuff's been happening lately. I went up to Washington last week to see Michele. It was a very, very nice visit. Lots of cool activities. Michele is involved with a small theater group and right now she's working on props for a show. We spent an afternoon building stuff. I took a broom apart and made another broom out of it. Friday night her bluegrass band gave a concert as a fundraiser for the theater. Man, they're good. Bluegrass isn't my thing but I sure enjoyed these guys. On Sunday I went to her church. It was my first Unitarian service. Enjoyed that too. We ate at some really good restaurants. Spent an afternoon singing rounds with a friend of hers from church. Loved that! I love singing with Michele.

On Monday Jeff texted me and said that his mother had died. Hoo boy. No real surprise there but it was still a shock. Like Dad, she had been sick for a long time and she was pretty old. The last few months were really bad for her. I came home on Tuesday. Sister Pam and her family arrived on Wednesday. They all seem to be doing pretty well emotionally and they're working together on funeral arrangements. Having just been through this myself I know what they're going through. It's a weird time.

Celebrities are dropping like flies. Sarah Palin has resigned. Looks like she's in deep doo-doo. Good stuff.

Ikea

Always an adventure.

Paige has been working on her room and needed some furniture. I'm going to be getting her a queen sized bed, so she needs a bed frame. We went to Ikea and dragged Gabe along. He really wasn't interested in going but when he got there he really liked it. It was Paige's first time there too. It took a long time to go through the whole store because they were enjoying the whole Ikea shopping experience. Paige picked out a bed frame she liked but they were out of stock. We'll go back next week and get it. We did get the dresser she wanted.

I found a very nice sink and vanity for the front bathroom. The vanity is $179 and the sink is $100. There's also a medicine cabinet and a tall, narrow floor cabinet. All the pieces are really nice looking. I wasn't really planning to get stuff for the bathroom today so I put that idea on hold. When we reached the end of our Ikea journey we went to the As-Is section. That's where they have floor models and damaged items for sale at a much reduced price. Sitting on a pallet were 6 sinks, all the model I liked. I asked the guy why they were there. He said some of them were part of a shipment that had come in damaged boxes and some of them they just got for free from the company. They're in perfect condition and they were fifty bucks apiece. So, I bought two of them. I love a good score.

The sink in my other bathroom is shot. It's all crusty with mineral deposits and it's stained with rust. There's no way to clean it and I was planning to replace it anyway. Getting these two sinks changes my decorating plans a bit but really, these are an upgrade. When we go back for Paige's bed I'll get the vanity for the front bathroom. And now I have a problem.

I had the front bathroom all planned out. I even bought the paint. But now I'm thinking of going in a whole different direction and that orange paint might not work. All my cutsey ideas for the cabinet and the stuff I was going to put on the walls are out the window. Hell, even my idea for the window has to change. Oh well. This isn't the biggest problem I've ever had, eh?

Uh-oh. Now I'm getting ideas. Time for wine.

Bird in a blanket

This morning after I got out of the shower I went into my room to get ready for school. Lio was pouncing on my blanket and looking very agitated. I thought maybe Ivy was under there but there was no Ivy-sized lump in the blanket. I didn't want Lio to rip a hole in my nice blanket so I picked it up and shook it out. Something fluttered and Lio freaked. He ran over and caught it but I grabbed him and made him let it go. That's when I saw that it was a bird. A bird in my bedroom. A healthy, uninjured bird. I think Ivy must have brought it in and decided to show off in front on Lio. Sure enough, Ivy was right outside the door.

I put both cats outside and blocked the kitty door. When I went back into my room the bird flew into the closet. I didn't have time to deal with it then so I went to school. When I got home the bird was up on top of the curtains. I went to the window and unhooked the screen. It was as if the bird was waiting for exactly that to happen because it flew over my shoulder and out the window. Happy ending for the bird.

I've had cats for years but these kittens are the huntingest cats I've ever had. And they just love to bring their still alive trophies in the house. We've had 2 birds, a few lizards, a mouse and a giant grasshopper. Sometimes the lizards arrive in pieces and a couple times I've stepped on them. Barefoot. In the dark. There's nothing that'll give you a major case of the willies like cold lizard guts stuck to the bottom of your foot.

I'm going to bed. Pretty soon Lio will join me and probably lay down on my head. That's fine as long as he's alone.

Stuff

Not much going on right now. I grouted another section of the chalkboard frame today. I know it's taking a long time to finish this sucker. It's just that every time I grout a section it's a big commitment of time and it's kind of stressful. Plus, it eats the crap out of my hands, even with rubber gloves. Almost done, though. One more section.

I bought a new digital camera the other day. This is way more camera than I'll ever need. I've been reading the owner's manual and I'm barely understanding most of it. But I've got the basics. I've been itching to get some eBay sales going and now I can take photos of the stuff I want to sell.

I take my speech final on Monday. I'm so glad this semester is over. I'm not taking any summer classes. I want to be free to do a little traveling. I'd love to take a river trip or two.

Lio had a lumpy lump in his groin area. The vet thought it was caused by an injury of some kind. He said if it's a tumor then it's a nasty one because of its shape. He suggested we try antibiotics first. Well, it looks like that's doing the trick because I can't feel a lump anymore. That's a huge relief. Lio's my awesome little dude and he's only a year old. I want him to stick around for a very long time. I feel bad about giving him the antibiotics. It's a liquid that smells like bubble gum. Why couldn't they make it taste like fish?

More to whine about

My dishwasher died.

Soon I'm going to inherit a chunk of money. I'm using part of it to buy cars (used cars) for the girls and me. I want to invest some of it and the rest I'll put into the house and supplement my income until I finish school and can get a better job. When I say that I want to put it into the house I'm talking about fixing some issues like an ancient sprinkler system, spent landscaping, gutters, tree removal and poor yard drainage. I do not want to replace what's already working. That means that shit has to KEEP WORKING. I knew the water heater was a goner. I was prepared for that (mostly). Yesterday as the HVAC was humming along I thought, jeez, I hope that thing lasts a good, long time. But I think that system is fairly new. It should be ok for a while. So, ok, a dishwasher isn't a huge expense. I didn't like my dishwasher anyway.

Oh noooooo!!!

Wrigley's has discontinued cinnamon flavored Extra sugar-free gum!!! All other brands of cinnamon gum are CRAP! Whatever shall I do? I'm jonesing!

This happens all the time. It seems that the surest way for something to be taken off the market is for me to like it. They took away my cheese. They took away my favorite deodorant. Bartles and James took away their Tropical flavor and then brought it back but it ain't the same! They changed it!

What a cruel, cruel world.

Grill, baby, grill!

I bought a new Weber today. I haven't had a barbeque in over a year. I've been missing the flavor of singed meat. Tonight I grilled up some marinated London broil (an experiment), some chicken thighs and some salmon. Paige is doing Atkins and I'm trying to get back on my diet so it's good to have some cooked meats on hand so it's easy and quick to throw a meal together. We're set for the week.

Lindsay and Kyle are coming this weekend. Gonna do some ribs.

Happy Birthday, Kyle!!!

Sorry to get this on so late. Give yourself a wedgie and say it's from me!

Thanks for being the perfect guy for my girl.

Progress

I grouted another section this afternoon. I think this one turned out better. I kept it small this time. Charlie wanted to help. She's so funny. When I was doing the tiling she kept stealing tiles. Sometimes I'd be in another room and I'd hear a plate of tiles being turned over. I don't know why she found them so fascinating. I keep finding bits of tile and broken dishes all over the house.

Tonight I worked out in the garage. I now have a BIG pile of stuff to take to the thrift store. I'm really trying to make sure that more goes out than comes in. Every time I go out to the garage I look around and see if there's anything I can delete. Having so much crap is a big energy suck.

My digital camera has fritzed out on me. I'm going to buy a new one and start taking pictures of some of the big ticket items I want to get rid of. They'll either go on eBay or Craig's List. I still have all of Jim's music equipment. It's just gotta go. I found some Hammond parts that I'm going to ship off to the Hammond repair guy. I've sent him a lot of stuff like parts and manuals. I wouldn't want to try to sell it, I just want it out of here. There's also a bunch of stuff that Lindsay and Kyle maybe could use. The next time they're here we'll get that figured out.

I want to go through the Christmas bins and see what can be pared down. Halloween, too. I think I can be more ruthless with myself if I go through all that stuff mid-season. Halloween is still out of control. I'm pretty much done with it anyway. Last year I got almost no trick-or-treaters. They just don't want to come up the hill and no one up here decorates or gives out candy. I was the only one. And I'm NOT going to do the traveling Halloween show anymore. Way too much work.

I've been feeling a bit off the last few days. Emotionally, I mean. I'm kind of aimless and I keep feeling like whatever I'm doing isn't what I should be doing. Sometimes I like having the house to myself, but the rest of the time I really hate living alone. Paige is here only half the time and she never sleeps at home. I'm here alone every night. Nope. Don't like it.

Most of the time that doesn't bother me. Not much, anyway. It's just lately I've been in a funk about it. I guess I'm still adjusting. Maybe that's why I'm focused on getting rid of things.

And I'll be soooo glad when this semester is over. Tomorrow I really need to work on my last speech.

I don't wanna.

Alright, already!

Ok, new post! Sheesh.

Um, what's new? My mosaic project is almost done. I have a few more places to fill in with tiles and then I'll grout it. I'm very pleased with how it's turning out. It looks like a big, colorful necklace on the wall.

Today I'm going to Fullerton to look at a Scion xB. We'll see how that goes. I haven't walked into a car dealership in 15 years. I need to get into tough negotiator mode. Ugh!

I have one more speech to give. It's the persuasive speech. I'm going to talk about the importance of preparing for middle age so you can deal with your parents' old age. I have to find 8 references and only 2 of them can be from the internet. This class requires way too much work. I'll be very glad when it's over.

The demonstration speech went well. I gave a basic ukulele lesson. I had everyone sing The Lion Sleeps Tonight.

I brushed Bozzie yesterday. I pulled enough hair off of him to knit a sweater. Man, that dog has gotten hairy in the last couple years. He's like a Samoyed now. Or a polar bear. He's getting his annual shave soon.

That's about it. I'm still working 2 days a week. I'm sick of school, although the Pilates class is doing me a lot of good. I'll be glad when the car buying/selling project is done. After I'm done with the hallway I'm starting on the bathroom. The wallpaper in there is proving to be more stubborn than the paper in the hall. It's time to resort to chemicals. I've already purchased the paint. It's orange! Kind of like orange sherbet with a hint of tangerine. Some of you are recoiling in horror. Stay with me, it's going to be cute.

I need breakfast and the cat needs her antibiotics.

Ooh, this is good.

Well, my tiles didn't come today. I decided not to do anything more to the frame until they get here. I want the look to be consistent.

Since I'm not gluing tile to a frame tonight I figured I'd get some housework done. I got a good putter going but I had to keep stopping because I kept getting decorating ideas. It was great. I've been so stymied since moving here. I had some vague ideas for what I wanted to do but nothing was very exciting. Now it's all wild creation popping into my brain. I haven't had this happen in quite a while. I'm diggin' it.

Hoo boy, this house is going to be reeeeally colorful.

Uh-oh.

I think my ugly, gnarly tree in the front yard is leaning more. I think it might be falling over. I really need to have it taken down. The branch that hangs over the front walk is lower now. Jeff konked his head on it one night. Better make some phone calls.

I've started doing the mosaic on my chalkboard frame. It's looking pretty good so far. I'm not doing anything fancy, just broken bits stuck on. When it's all covered I'm going to use black grout to fill in the gaps. Today I bought some dishes at Goodwill to bust up and add some more color to the thing. I also ordered some Fiesta Ware bits from eBay. They're pieces of broken Fiesta dishes. I think it's pretty funny that you can buy bits of broken dishes on the internet. They should arrive tomorrow. I'll be set for the weekend.

I need to get this done. I'm doing my usual thing, which is when I'm immersed in a project the house goes to hell.

Subbing across the hall

It's almost as dead over here.

So! I found out that the cost of my meds ISN'T going up. The person who called me from the pharmacy didn't know what the hell she was talking about. The reason the cost went up is the number of pills was increased from 60 to 200, as per my request to my doc. I just hadn't received confirmation that the request was granted. Puh!

My hallway is looking pretty good. The walls and trim are painted and the chalkboard is being framed. Hoo boy, the green paint is bright. I might go back and tone it down. It looks exactly the way I want it during the day. At night with the lights turned on it's blindingly bright.

I'm going to cover the frame with mosaic. Right now I'm doing a small practice piece to experiment and get my chops up. I dragged out all my mosaic supplies to see if I'll have enough. I do, but not in the right colors. Gonna visit some thrift stores and see if I can find some dishes I can bust up.

I'm also toying with the idea of surrounding the chalkboard with a line of wine corks inside the frame. I'll use them like a cork board. We'll see. I'm also going to hang a shelf over the chalk board.

I found a gnarly wooden bowl at Ross. I'm going to slice it in half and affix the pieces to the wall to hold the chalk and eraser. In my mind's eye this whole thing looks pretty cute. But I'm still not sure about that paint color.

Slow day at work

Things always slow down after the semester starts but this slowdown is the slowest of the slow. Ain't nuthin' happenin' here. Really, I should save the taxpayers some dough and split. Not gonna. Sorry, taxpayers.

After work today I'm going to go to Lowe's and buy paint and supplies. It's so exciting! Tomorrow I'm painting the hall.

I've been surfing the web looking for cars. I've settled on the Scion xB, 2004-2006. I'd really like a green one but I'd be just as happy with silver. It looks like all the green ones in the area have manual transmissions and I want an automatic. So, silver it is. No big hurry, tho.

Paige got a 2008 Scion tC. We got a great deal on it because it has a salvage title. So far, no troubles. Salvage doesn't necessarily mean a lemon but you do take your chances. So, we gave Lindsay Dad's Toyota until she finds a car she likes. Her Taurus (death machine) is now sitting in my driveway. I'm thinking of donating it. I hate selling cars, especially a beater like this one.

I haven't blogged about the whole car thing. I'm going to use some of my inheritance to buy cars for all of us. I want the girls to have some decent cars, mainly for my own peace of mind. And I'm so tired of driving a minivan. I still need something big enough to haul stuff. The Scion xB is big enough, especially if I get a roof rack installed. Anyway, the cars will be the girl's gift from Grandpa.

I've got my fingers crossed. It looks like our lives are getting back to some kind of normalcy. Lindsay is settled in L.A. with a good job. Paige and I are going to school. I'm starting work on the house. If things stay like this for a while I'll be very happy. I got a call from Kaiser the other day telling me that the cost of my Wellbutrin is going to triple. I'm going to talk to my doc about it. I think I'm probably ready to give it up anyway.

So, we'll see. Ok, Universe, behave yourself for a while so we can all get a break from the drama.

Back online

Yay! I'm back. My modem had croaked. It was still under warranty so no charge for replacement.

Yesterday I spent most of the day peeling wallpaper. Lordy, Gammer loved wallpaper. It's in every single room of my house, three layers in some places. I decided to tackle the hallway since it's the smallest space and a pretty easy project. Getting down to the bare wall through that first layer of paper is proving to be a slow job. I think I'll just strip the one wall I've been working on and paint over the rest. I'm going to paint that wall with chalkboard paint so it needs to be clean.

This is the first real project that actually makes a change in this house. I think it's a good start. I need to get up some momentum on all those improvement projects I have planned. This feels good.

No internet

Whine! My DSL went out at home. I'm blogging from work. If you don't hear from me after you sent me that life or death email it's because I can't get to it. There's a DSL dude coming out tomorrow morning so hopefully it'll get resolved quickly.

Lindsay called this morning and said that someone busted out the back window of her car. Not the car she's had for a while. That one's on its last legs so its parked in my driveway. She has Dad's old Toyota. Dang, she's only had it for a few days AND she had it parked in the fenced-in parking garage at her apartment. There was nothing of value in that car but they decided to clean out the glove box anyway. They took the registration. What a pain in the ass.

My refrigerator started making that fix-me-or-I'm-going-to-explode noise again. A repairman came out and fixed it for $180. Not bad. It was weird dealing with him. He had a HEAVY accent. Not just an accent, he could barely speak english. I'm guessing he was Armenian. Oh man, it was hard to communicate. But he seemed to know what he was doing and now the fridge is cold and silent.

Jeez. This week I wanted to make some progress but it feel like I'm pedaling fast just to stay in one place.

Happy Easter

We had our little Easter celebration tonight because them kids ain't gonna be around on Sunday. We went to Joe's Sushi for Lindsay's birthday dinner. After that I went to the dollar store and got Easter trinkets. I bought some metal collanders and used them as baskets. Everyone got candy and these cool little wind-up toys I got at Borders. When I got home Lindsay opened her birthday gift (a plastic Buddha lamp) and I gave them their baskets. Whee! Happy Easter! Very low key. No eggs, no Peeps.

Then we watched It's Alive!, which I had recorded for Lindsay and Kyle. I saw this movie when it first came out and it's a total hoot. It's about this monster baby that goes around killing people and then attacks a milk truck. But the movie that got recorded wasn't that movie, even though it too was called It's Alive!. THIS movie sucked more than anything I've seen in my life. But we watched it anyway.

We've been shopping for cars. I'm using some of my inheritance to get us some decent used cars. It's a good thing because Lindsay's car is on its last legs. We found a car for Paige. It's a 2008 Scion tC. It has a salvage title but it seems to be in pretty good shape. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. Lindsay and I also want to get Scions. She wants an xA, which is a zippy little thing and I'm looking for a good deal on an xB, the big boxy kind. Then I have to work on selling the three old cars. I hate selling cars.

My informative speech is finished. It's called A Brief History of Tabasco Sauce. Spring break is next week so I can practice it a lot before I have to give it in class. My topic for the demonstration speech is How to Play the Ukulele. After that we're doing a persuasive speech and that's it. I don't know what my topic will be at this point. What do I feel strongly enough about to want to persuade people to care about it and agree with me? So far all I can think of is something like, The Importance of Preparing For Old Age. Really, I'd rather talk for eight minutes on why assholes with obnoxious sound systems in their cars should be shot, but somehow I don't think that would be popular with my audience of 18-20-year-olds. They wouldn't be too interested in the old age thing either.

Hoo boy, sushi is salty stuff. My weight is going to jump up for a few days.

Sorry for the gap

I shouldn't let things go so long between posts. So much gets away. I'll just have to fill in some stuff later. But basically what happened was...

Dad died, we had a funeral, lots of relatives, it was good, mostly.
I'm hating my speech class
I went back to work after being off for almost a month.
We're shopping for cars.

My mind isn't really on this right now. I just finished my speech, which is due on Wednesday. I'm tired of looking at this computer screen and my brain is fried. I'm going to go outside and plant some stuff.

Friday in Austin

We got up early on Friday morning and went to Barton Springs, which is where Dean takes her morning swim. It's a place where a natural spring wells up and they've enclosed the stream bed to make a giant swimming pool. There's a constant flow of clean water running through it so there's no need to use any chemicals. It's a wonderful place to swim but that water is COLD. I can barely handle it on a hot day. Dean swims pretty much year-round in the early morning. Not for Donita.

But the reason I went there was to serenade the swimmers. Kind of silly since the pool is huge and people pretty much had their heads under water but it was still pretty fun. KC was there so I mostly sang for her. We chatted with a few people. It was pleasant.

After that Dean went to work and KC and I went out for breakfast. Then I came home and crashed. I slept good and hard until 1:00. Then I got up and did some homework. Dean came home at 3:30.

A friend of Greg's got us in at one of the venues. Another free event for us. The show was Dent May and his Magnificent Ukulele. It was a fun show. I bought his cd but he was really better live. After that we went to The Belmont and had drinks and listened to the bands. Then we went back to Dean's and lounged on the patio until the wee hours.

My back still hurts. It must be a little better since I can tolerate the pain without taking a T3. I'm going to tough it out so I can give my liver a break. We're leaving soon to go to a poster show. Gonna try to score some free stuff. Then I'll try my hand at busking. I'll for sure be taking a pain pill before I do that.

Ooh, it's pretty breezy right now. Hmmm...

I'm in Texas.

And having a great time. All except for one little glitch. I put my back out today. Spasm city. The rest of my trip may suck a bit. I'm hoping it'll be better tomorrow.

Today was the Million Musician March that began at the Capitol steps and went down to City Hall. They really shouldn't have called it that. When we first got there it was more like the Several Musician March. Eventually it swelled to a Smattering of Musicians March. Still, it was pretty cool. Very much a hippie scene. Dean had brought Nancy along. Nancy is her little tri-colored Chihuahua. She figured it would be good for Nancy to have the experience and it would get her some exercise. Nancy was a good girl.

We hung around and listened to the bands. I played along with some of them while I was standing around in the audience. After a while we sat on the grass. Dean suggested that I use the bathroom before we left for the walk. When I stood up I must have turned funny because I really wrenched my back. Man, it hurt like a mo-fo. As I walked to the rest room it was pretty clear that there was no way I was going to be able to go on that march. Dean called Greg and he picked us up. When we got back to Dean's I took a Tylenol with codeine. Throw in a couple of screwdrivers and I'm doin' ok.

Tonight Dean and Greg fixed a nice dinner. KC and Dean's next-door neighbors came over. So, that's today.

I got in very late on Wednesday night. Dean and I stayed up until 4:00 just having a good cackle. I played some songs for her. Man, Dean is the best audience I've ever had. It was really fun playing for her. At one point she jumped up and hugged and smooched me real hard. That was pretty funny. Dean is not usually that demonstrative.

On Thursday Dean, KC and I went to an exhibit called Birth of the Cool. It's all mid-century modern stuff. I'll take one of each, please. The exhibit was actually kind of small. We explored the rest of the museum and then went to The Belmont for drinks and to listen to whatever band was playing. The Belmont was one of the free venues. At the museum they gave us a coupon for one free appetizer at The Belmont. We were diggin' the free.

The bands were ok but we were hungry and thirsty and The Belmont serves good food. We enjoyed the scallops and the mussels but the calamari was the best that any of us had ever had. We were there for about an hour and a half. Then we walked down the street a little and listened to another (very loud) band. Then we came home. Dean roasted some chickens and grilled some veggies. We had this reeeeaaally good coconut cake for dessert. I made the mistake of buying a whole cake. I think I had cake with every meal until it ran out. There was no resisting it.

That's all I'll write for now. This post is long. I'm having a very good time. This trip was the exact right thing to do.

Me sicko

Man, being sick is a drag. Even if it's just a wimpy cold it still sucks. Right now my chest is congested and my head is completely clogged. It's pissing me off because I don't have time for this. I'm leaving for Texas on Wednesday and when I get back I'll be joining the flurry of funeral preparations. Family members are flying in. Lots of them. All I want to do right now is clean my house and I can't do it. After about five minutes of picking up I get completely worn out. Man, I hope this gets better tomorrow.

I'm not going to go back to work until after it's all over. I'll take a bit of a financial hit but it's not like I was really raking it in to begin with. Missing a few days won't make that much difference and I can make it up in April.

What I wouldn't give for one clear nostril.

Bye, Dad

Dad died yesterday. The long struggle is over.

On Saturday afternoon David called and said Dad's blood pressure had dropped significantly and he was unresponsive. He thought Dad would probably die within 72 hours. Man. Everything kind of shifted and my thoughts were all over the place. I had been working on the garage. Since there was no need to rush right over there I went back to what I was doing. I was the only one in town. Stacey and her family were in Orange County at Audra's game and Drew and his family were in San Diego for Tori's volleyball tournament. Then a little while later David called back. Dad's blood pressure had dropped again and he felt cold. He probably wouldn't last the night. It was time to get over there.

When I saw Dad it was quite a shock. He was not sleeping peacefully like you see in the movies. He looked like a breathing corpse. His head was pulled back. His mouth was wide open and his lips were curled up over his teeth. His eyes were half open, staring but with no life behind them and sunk deep in their sockets. His breathing was labored. He had lost 25 pounds in the last week, which was no surprise. He had pretty much stopped eating.

I closed his eyes but they popped right back open. That was one of the things we did with him all night long. We'd close his eyes so they wouldn't dry out. I doubt if it helped and I don't think he was feeling it. I sat down and talked to him for a little while, then I sang him some songs. I tried to think of some hymns but none came to mind. I went to the dining room and found an Armed Forces Hymnal. I took it back to his room and sang hymn after hymn for him. (Heh! There's a sentence.) I was surprised I could actually sing through tears.

Pretty soon Stacey poked her head around the curtain. She was also taken aback by Dad's appearance. She was concerned that B might find it too disturbing. There was no time to make a decision about it because Brendan came right in and sat down next to his Poppa and took his hand. He talked to him and closed his eyes for him. What a great kid.

Stacey and Scotty and I talked about what we need to do and who need to be contacted. I called Dede and Mindy to get the phone numbers of some of the people from church. I called Pastor Hewes. He got there about 40 minutes later. He talked to all of us for a little while and then sat down and talked to Dad. If Dad had been aware (and who's to say he wasn't) he would have loved what Pastor was saying to him. He hit all the right notes. He spoke to Dad in a way that none of us could. I really appreciated his visit. Scotty and B left a little after that.

Some of Dad's nurses came in to say goodbye. They all talked about how Dad would speak to them in Spanish, which was a bit of a surprise to us. We knew that Dad knew a smattering of Spanish but I guess it was more than we thought. They really liked him. The activity director and her daughter came to see him. She was really quite broken up. She hugged him and kissed him and called him Patron. I told her that I appreciated that she had that kind of relationship with him.

Stacey called John D and told him about Dad. He came right over. John's been a good friend of Stacey's and our family ever since junior high. He was one of the farm kids and had worked many days there. He loved Dad. Pretty soon Dede showed up and the four of us had a real nice time sharing farm stories. It was really wonderful. John left at around 11:30.

And then it was us three girls and Dad. The attendants came in and changed him and got him into a gown. We sat with him and talked and laughed and waited. Stacey was having trouble with allergies and was pretty uncomfortable. We decied that Stacey and I would go back to her house and get a little sleep and then come back to relieve Dede. Dad's breathing was stable and consistent and his blood pressure had come up a bit. It seemed like he could last for several more hours. Stacey and I left.

When I got to Stacey's I went to sleep pretty much right away. I found out in the morning that Dede had called at 4:30 and said that Dad had passed. She said he relaxed and his breathing slowed down. She had set him up with an iPod earlier in the evening and was playing Uncle Buddy's recordings of hymns for him. Dad took a few more breaths and that was it. We think it's pretty cool that Buddy's voice was the last one Dad heard.

I'll write more about the day later. I have to get ready for school.

I met people.

Tonight I went downtown to play music with Terry from uke circle. He plays with friends on Thursdays during Art Walk. They always play on the front steps of their church. This is the same church where I did those two shows. When I got there Terry was the only one there playing. He had invited a bunch of people and I was the only one who showed up. No big deal. Terry knows enough songs to be able to handle a show on his own and the scene was very informal. He and I goofed around for about an hour and a half, singing and playing for pretty much no one. There's not much Art Walk action on that corner. I considered this to be good practice for my upcoming busking adventure.

When I left I didn't really feel like going home. I remembered that they have open mike at Coffee Depot on Thursdays so I decided to see what was hoppin'. At least I could get a cup of coffee. When I got there it was pretty much the same as it was when Jeff and Bill and I went. Everyone in that room were all pretty young. It didn't look all that interesting to me so I got some coffee and sat down on one of the comfy sofas in the front room. A group of older guys (my age) were playing guitars. I was really enjoying listening to them. Then a guy came over and sat down on the sofa next to me. I mean, he sat on a different sofa that was next to the one I was sitting on. Almost immediately we started having a nice chat about music. He told me his band is playing at the Plaza on Saturday and gave me a flyer. Then another guy sat down on the sofa across from us. He was tuning an unusual looking tenor ukulele. Guy #1 (name's Jeff) and I started talking about ukes. Guy #2 (name's Tom) went to play with the guitar guys. I went out to the car and got my uke and book bag. Jeff and I continued with our conversation. Pretty soon Tom and one of the guitar guys came over and joined us. It was just a really nice conversation with a bunch of musicians I had never met before. That's unusual for me. I'm not shy about talking to people but usually I don't have all that much to contribute. This was different. I even sang a couple songs with Tom.

I stayed there until almost 11:30. I'll probably go see Jeff's band on Saturday. He also told me about some stuff that's happening on Friday night that I'm thinking of going to. I felt really good when I left the Coffee Depot. I'm not that good at meeting people and I felt really comfortable with those guys. They seemed to like me too.

My first speech.

Yesterday we gave speeches in class. It was an introductory speech. We were supposed to bring in an object that represents who we are and tie it into the speech. I chose my Fire Monkey icon.

Last week we did an exercise where everyone shared what their greatest public speaking fear was. On the list were forgetting, sweating, fidgeting, rambling, giggling. My item was speaking on a subject that I'm too emotionally invested in. The solution for that is to pick a safe subject.

Most of my speech had to do with my creativity and my humor. I did mention a little bit about having a dad with Alzheimer's and the loss of my husband, but I made sure those points were only briefly touched on. I was safe.

Then this girl, who was three people ahead of me, got up and gave her speech about her best friend who was killed in a car accident a couple years ago. She went on and on about how she doesn't know who she is without this person, about how she sometimes thinks she can just pick up the phone and call her and how she longed for another hug. She was the SADDEST GIRL IN THE WORLD.

After she sat down I started to tear up. I can't just be a little moved by something and shed a few tears and then move on. I sat at my desk and wept. I'm thinking, oh shit. Stop. Just stop. No good. After the next guy finished speaking I left the room. I went to the bathroom and worked like mad on pulling myself together. I know I still looked like a wreck when I went back to the room. And then it was my turn.

I had to open the speech by acknowledging the fact that Sad Girl's speech got to me. I did ok until I got to the part where I mentioned Jim. My throat closed up but I managed to fight through it. I felt like such a dope because the rest of the speech was about my sense of humor and playing the uke and writing songs. People did laugh at the funny parts but damn it, that girl fucked me up! Oh well, I think it went over ok.

Next time I'm going to demand to go first.

A quick one

I visited Dad yesterday. He was sound asleep when I got there and he stayed that way. Usually he catnaps and if I say hi to him he wakes up. This time he didn't. I got out the uke and played softly for him. After about 40 minutes I left. One thing I noticed-- Dad was very well-cushioned. Like, really well. Good thing somebody's listening.

Sometimes we get excited about stupid things.

I'm excited about my freshly painted shelves and cabinets. They are ready to receive tools, chemicals and other workshop supplies. Everything, (well, almost everything) is in place. It just needs to be all screwed together so it won't fall apart in an earthquake. This is going to make such a huge difference. All the tools will be in one place and I'll be able to eliminate about 10 boxes that are taking up space in the garage. There will be a place for the kind of art supplies that don't really belong in my studio. Things like mosaic tiles and bags of grout. Really, this is all I can think about right now. I'm giddy about my garage.

No one else would be impressed because it's still a huge mess. But at least now everything has a place to go. At least now it can be cleaned.

I'm also getting excited about my pergola project. I bought a pergola kit from Kmart last spring. The basic frame is ok but the cover that came with it blows off all the time. It looked good but didn't function well. I'm going to add some wooden cleats to the frame and cover one side and the top with trellis panels. I've been engineering it in my head and I think I have it worked out. I think it'll cost around $100 to retrofit the whole thing. Once it's done it should make a nice little patio. One thing I've been missing here is an outdoor hang out space. At the farm I had my fabulous front porch. This one won't have a view but it will be cozy. I'm looking forward to it.

Other projects I want to tackle this spring-

The hallway between the kitchen and the office- I want to finish taking off the wall paper, paint the walls, sand down one wall and paint a large rectangle with chalkboard paint, frame the rectangle, change the light fixture. This will be my message center.

The back bathroom- Take down the wall paper, paint the walls a latte color, ceiling a lighter shade, the vanity a darker shade. I need to repair the big hole in the wall where they took out the heater and replaced it with a sheet of cheap, wood paneling, install new floor and a new faucet. New window treatment, towel bars, toilet paper dispenser. I'm going to try to keep it all under $150.

My room- Take down the wall paper, paint, new light fixture, repair the furniture I got from Mindy, cut down my bed and re=upholster the headboard, assemble the bed, rework the curtains.

Kitchen- Finish the capiz shell window treatments, paint the walls.

That's enough for now.

Too bad if they're embarrassed.

I just got back from a crappy Dad visit. When I got there he was in the dining room. One of the attendants was trying to feed him. "C'mon, Mr. Lang, just take a bite..." Dad was yelling in pain. I stepped up and let her know that I'd try to feed him. He kept squirming around and crying out. I asked him several times what was hurting but he just can't answer questions like that anymore. I checked his legs. His right knee was jammed up against the rail. Against the CORNER of the rail. We're talkin' a sharp, 90 degree angle. His leg had a big red mark where the rail was pressing. I shoved a pillow between the rail and his knee and he quieted right down. I called one of the staff over to show her what had happened. She called the attendant over who had been trying to feed him. I told them that Dad must always be cushioned. If he's yelling in pain there's a good chance it's because he's pressed up against the rails. I was pretty pissed but I held it together. Oh yeah, and Dad was also soaking wet. I don't think that had just happened. And his mouth was so dry his lips were curled back. I got him some water and he took a big swig, swished it around in his mouth and then spit it out against the wall (Heh!).

Just then I heard an announcement. They were going to be having a meeting in the living room and all the families of the residents were invited. I had them take Dad back to his room so he could get cleaned up. I told them I'd try to feed him more of his dinner in there. While we were waiting for an attendant to lift him back into bed dad fell asleep. I went to the meeting.

There were about 8 family members there and three officious-looking men sitting at a table. They were touting the features and services of Airforce Village. A few people asked questions. I sat and listened. I wasn't sure at that point if I was going to say anything about the seemingly persistent problem of Dad's limbs pressing against hard metal. Then the head cheese said, "Are there any other questions or comments?" Ok, what the hell. I raised my hand.

I told them what had just happened in the dining room and that it had happened before. I told them we had talked to the caregivers and the head nurse about the problem. I told them if my dad is yelling in pain they need to investigate. Yes, he just might be in pain just because, but they have to at least try to find the cause. The officious panel turned into headlight-blinded deer. I told them that overall we've been satisfied with his care. I told them that the other places Dad had been couldn't seem to get his meds right so that his crazy behavior was under control. Airforce Village was doing a good job with that. They assured me that they'd take care of it, and I'm pretty sure they will. They looked like they reeeally wished they had moved on and not taken any more questions. Then they introduced a woman who was from a local mortuary who was going to talk about "pre-need". I said, "Ok, thanks, I'm going back to my dad" and left.

I went back to Dad's room just as the attendant was lifting him back into bed. He was slipping out of the sling! He was scared to death and yelling his head off. Cussing, too. A lot. She got him into bed before he fell out the bottom of the sling. Then a different attendant, the one in the dining room, came in to change him and get him ready for bed. As she was cleaning him up we both noticed that he had an angry-looking red patch on his back. I couldn't tell if it was a bed sore or diaper rash. She called for a nurse to come look at it but she didn't show up in the time I was there. After Dad was clean and settled I got out the uke and sang him a few songs before he fell asleep. Then I put the uke away and got a piece of paper and a pen. I made a sign the said- If Mr. Lang is yelling in pain please check his arms and legs to make sure they aren't pressed against the metal rails. Please make sure he is always cushioned. He moves around a lot and might lose his pillows. If he is in pain there's a good chance that he's pressed against the rail.

I also drew a picture of a leg pressed against a rail and drew wavy pain lines emanating from the knee. I wrote "ouch!" next to it. Then I tacked it to the wall where I was pretty sure they'd see it. Then I left.

So, fuck 'em if they were embarrassed. Too bad. I'm sure Dad isn't the only one who has to endure hours of pain because some dope didn't bother to check to see what was causing it. These people need some training on this issue. I'll also talk to Dede and have her tell them to give him some water. Just plain, unthickened water. He can handle it and he needs it. Letting him go all day with his mouth so dry he can't pull his lips over his teeth is just plain cruel and, I think, lazy on their part.

Ugh!

Tra-la-la!

I'm painting my garage. I can't do it all at once because there's so much stuff in there. I'm working on one section at a time. But, hey, progress! I went to Lowe's yesterday and bought paint. I found a gallon of pre-mixed paint on clearance for five bucks. I love getting deals like that. And it was almost the exact color I was thinking of anyway. I also bought a gallon of white ($7) to do the cabinets. It feels good to finally get started on pulling it all together.

Lio wants to hang out with me while I paint but I have to keep an eye on him. Or I should say I have to keep an eye on Lady. Lio really wants to make friends with the dogs but Lady keeps getting aggressive with him. A couple months ago when Lio got chomped I thought Boz was the one who did it. Now I'm pretty sure it was Lady. Today she really went after Lio. I chased her around the yard with a broom. It didn't seem to make much difference because she came back for more. Her days are numbered.

Tonight I'm going to play music with a new group of people. One of the guys in our uke circle is hosting a beer and music night at his house. Should be fun. I have to come up with a couple of songs to share.

But right now I'm going back out to the garage. I'm a paintin' fool.

Goodbye, Gracie

The hardest thing about having pets is when we have to let them go. When we got Gracie as an eight-week-old puppy one of the first things I said to her was, "You're going to put me through it someday." Today is that day. But I'm doing ok. It really was time to let her go. Her last six months weren't good ones.

She was a fun dog. One of the things that impressed me the most when she was a young dog was how gung-ho she was about everything. Whatever it was, Gracie wanted to participate. She even loved fireworks. She would fetch the biggest stick you could throw and if she was near water she would swim, like, forever.

Once, when we were at the river she got into searching for the big rocks that were underwater near the shore. She would dive down, grab a rock and then carry it up to the beach. Pretty soon she had a big pile of rocks. When we were setting up camp we were looking around for a rock to weigh down a tarp. Gracie walked right up and dropped a big rock perfectly on the corner right where we needed it.

One one trip, when Audra and Tori were little, we came up with this game where the girls would be on a float and grab onto Gracie's hair. Then we'd throw a ball as far as we could out into the water. Gracie swam out to the ball taking the girls for a ride. You just got the feeling that she really enjoyed it.

Gracie even had a pretty good sense of humor. She loved to growl when she played, like she was the biggest bad-ass dog in the world. You could pretend like you were going to take her ball or her tug and she would growl and bark like she was ready to take your hand off but she knew it was all part of the game and she really enjoyed it. Even the neighborhood kids in Santa Rosa would play with her like that. They knew she would never bite them. Brian K. would come over and play rough with her. Ooh, she loooved Brian.

Making the decision to put her down was a tough one. She was Jim's buddy. Letting Gracie go was like releasing another piece of Jim. I knew it needed to happen but it was hard to know when. Today she was really struggling and her eyes looked kind of sad. It was time.

She was a good girl.

Dickens and Dad

On Friday we had a birthday party for Dad at Airforce Village. He turned 80 yesterday. They had reserved the living room for us and even decorated it with balloons and a banner. The staff there sure do like him. When we arrived Dad was parked near the nurse's station. He was pretty sleepy and not very responsive, so I was a little worried he'd be zoned out for his party. But it didn't take long for him to come around. We wheeled him into the living room and had a quiet visit while we waited for everyone else to show up. Lindsay and Kyle, Paige and Gabe, and Chelsey and David were with me and Paige had brought Charlie. Dad really liked her and asked if he could hold her. Charlie was a little freaked out so she was a little squirmy, but I thought it was good that Dad was enjoying petting the puppy. Dad's three church ladies were the next to arrive. They really took good care of him during that time right after his driver's license was taken away. He was glad to see them.

Everyone else started to trickle in after that. Dede and Michael, Debbie and Bob, Drew's family, Stacey's family. The room really filled up. Dede had picked up Mexican food from Olivia's and Scotty brought margaritas. Dad's regular food tray arrived and we set it aside and gave him some refried beans and some cut up enchilada. He didn't eat much. We're wondering if his tongue hurts. It's really hard to get the inside of his mouth clean because he can't understand what you're trying to do. He'll open his mouth just a little bit and when you put something in he bites down. So, we think maybe all that build-up has caused an infection of some kind. He grimaces with every bite.

After dinner I got out the uke and sang some songs. Then Dede showed a video she had made from photos, old movie footage and some audio recordings of Dad. It was really beautiful. She did such a good job on it. Dad watched the whole thing and I know he enjoyed it.

After that we just had a nice, quiet visit. My kids left and then the church ladies. Scotty took the younger kids out so we could make our departure a more gentle transition. We were going to take Dad back to his room but his attendant was on her break and there was no one else to lift him back into his bed. He seemed like he was starting to get uncomfortable and every once in a while would moan or cry out in pain. We all stood around him trying to help him get comfortable and trying to figure out what was hurting him. It took a while for the attendant to come to take him back to his room. When she showed up we all left.

When I got home I took a shower and started working on my hair. Since I needed to be at the church pretty early I didn't want to take the chance that I'd run into problems trying to get my straight hair into a curly, Victorian updo. I had just finished setting it on hot rollers when the electricity went out. It was a crazy, stupid scene. I rolled my hair and then fed the dogs. You have to stand there while they eat or they'll fight. I had left the door to the sun room open so they knew they were being watched, and sat down at the computer. Then BAM, the lights went out, the computer shut down and the dogs IMMEDIATELY started fighting. Right after I broke that up the electricity came back on and all the smoke alarms went off. It was three minutes of chaos and stress. Then the power went out again. I made my way to the kitchen and found some matches and a candle. Chelsey and David were sleeping in the tv room. I wanted them to have some light in case they needed to get up so I put out a few of those battery operated, fake tea lights. I thought it looked pretty funny but at least it was a solution.

Saturday morning I got up and fixed my hair (turned out pretty good) and went to the church for a very long day of performing. Both shows went really well. I had three hours to kill in between shows so I got my uke out of the car and found a quiet room to hang out in. It rained the whole time on both days, which I'm sure kept people away. Our shows were full, though.

After that I went to Stacey's. Scotty grilled steaks and chicken and we had salad and leftover mexican food. David was there this time. We all had a good dinner and a nice visit. It was good to spend some more time with Debbie and Bob and look at their pictures.

Yesterday we only had one show in the afternoon. It was nice to spend some leisurely hours at home getting ready. Today I took out all the stitching that I had done on my costume and later I'll take it to the cleaners. You really can't tell that I had altered it in any way.

It's raining. A lot.

Costume luck

The show is this weekend. As of Tuesday I still didn't have a costume and I was getting worried. Jeff had told me to get in touch with Chuck A., who heads up the theater department at RCC. Duh! Of course! I have connections. I sent him an email when I was at work. Later we talked on the phone and he gave me lots of good leads. On Tuesday afternoon Paige and I drove to Cal State San Bernardino and rummaged around in the closets in the basement of their theater. We looked through several costume closets. Almost all of them were way too small, or they were wrong for my character. We found a good one at last. Man, I'm really happy with it. Twenty bucks to rent it!

It's a dark eggplant purple with black lace trim. It's the kind of Victorian style skirt that's flat in the front and BIG and bustley in the back. There's this half hoop skirt thing that you wear underneath which gives the dress its structure. The costume is actually too big for me. Last night I took it to Virginia's and she pinned it up (Thank you, Virginia!). Today at lunch I stitched it. It fits pretty good now. After the show I'll take out the stitching. The sleeves are a little weird and they're too short for my beefy arms. Yesterday I went to Goodwill and found a lace shrug that fits me and has the right kind of sleeves. More good luck. Tomorrow I'll finish doing all the alterations and repairs. I also need to make a headpiece of some kind. I'll just slap some sequins and feathers together.

Tonight was our last rehearsal. I wish I could have worn it for that. The skirt is very big in the back. I'm afraid I'm going to do a quick turn and take out a few tables. It would have been good to get in some practice with it.

I also have to figure out how I'm going to fix my hair. Hoo boy. Lots to do tomorrow. I haven't mentioned the little birthday celebration we're having for Dad. Debbie and Bob are flying in and we're going to have a party at Air Force Village. Dede and David are coming down. We're going to pick up some Mexican food from Olivia's and Stacey and Scotty are bringing Margaritas. Blood sugar be damned, Dad's getting a Margarita. It's his 80th birthday and probably his last. I don't really know how aware he is but he still knows us. He's going to be very glad to see Debbie. I hope he's perky tomorrow.

AND Lindsay's friends, Chelsey and David, will be here. I have to do some cleaning as well. I also have to go to Porter's to pick up my car. Dang! Anything else?

Thanks, Ken!

I was out in the garage working in spurts. I'd get some stuff done and then I'd sit and stare, stuck in overwhelm mode. Then Ken came walking up the driveway. We had talked the other night about him coming over to help me with stuff, but I didn't want to call him until I really needed him for stuff like heavy lifting and plumbing. But here he was. I had already mostly cleaned out one side of the garage. I was planning to paint the walls before assembling my shelves and workbench, but since my help was here we decided to get things started and I could paint around them. Ken and I hung a big, heavy cabinet and moved some shelves and the base cabinet for the workbench into place. That took up a big chunk of the afternoon. Then we worked a little on getting things cleaned up. We loaded up a lot of stuff into his truck to be taken to Second Time Around. That helped a lot.

I think he was a little taken aback by how much crapola I have. Really, I am working on it and several loads have already been taken to thrift stores or thrown away. But compared to him and Sherri, I'm Dad. Their house is the tidiest place I've ever seen and it's ALWAYS like that. They don't have any extra junk. NONE. I admire that.

Drew has the counter top for my set-up and he's bringing it by tomorrow. Having my work area put together is going to make such a difference. I'll have TOOLS. I think on Wednesday I'll go buy some paint and get started.

This feels good. I'm finally starting to take possession of the place. Thank you, Ken. You really helped move things forward today.

Jeez Louise

It looks like Hell exploded in my garage. But that's what progress looks like sometimes. I got a lot done. I decided I'll never be able to get everything out of the garage and store it someplace while I'm doing all that I want to do in there, so I'm doing it in halvesies. I'm going to get one side completely cleaned out and get it set up the way I want and then move stuff around and work on the other half. Today I demolished a useless cabinet and gained about twelve square feet of floor space. I consolidated several boxes and I now have a huge pile of stuff for Second Time Around. I also found a lot of tools.

I'm very dirty.

I'm getting all giddy about setting up my workshop area. It's going to make such a huge difference. Every time I try to do something around here I always spend way too much time trying to find the right tools and supplies. Often I get discouraged and give up. It's going to be great to be able to go out there and go straight to whatever I need. Such joy! How shall I bear it?

Gracie and Lady were driving me nuts out there. Gracie always wants to lay right where you're working. She was always like that (we called her Gracie underfoot) but now she's old and can barely walk and she's half blind and mostly deaf so once she's down it's hard to get her to move. And Lady makes me want to beat the shit out of her so she'll want to stay away from me. That is the most annoying dog in the world. Every time I turn my back she's nosing me in the leg. EVERY TIME! If I'm carrying something heavy she gets right in front of me and stops. She is also deaf so you can't yell at her to move. I'm always waving my arms at her to get her away from me. You can't kick her, she's too quick. You know how on those documentaries about Africa they always show the hyenas bugging the shit out of some poor animal that keeps trying to defend itself until it's completely worn out and just lays down and allows itself to be ripped apart? THAT'S what it's like to be working in the garage with Lady nearby. That's how it is anytime I'm trying to do work in the back yard. Paige and I hate her. I hope everyone won't think I'm the worst person in the world if I decide to take her to the pound. Because, I'm pretty sure that day is coming. She's also aggressive towards Lio and Charlie and even Gracie sometimes. She's just a big source of stress. Oh well.

Heh! Boz was the one who had the most sense today. He found a shady spot and took a snooze.

Ok, I have half an hour to goof off before show rehearsal.

Prepare to be smacked...

...by the cuteness.

Here's our Charlie.

Bounced back a little

I went to see Dad after I got off work. I got there just as they were lifting him out of bed to take him to dinner. He was yelling because he was in pain but he wasn't angry. As soon as he saw me he smiled and relaxed a little. I talked to him and rubbed his shoulders while they finished getting him into the lift. The used the lounge chair on wheels. He was in a good mood and pretty chatty. When they wheeled him out he saw one of his caregivers and yelled, "Hey, there's my girlfriend!" So, even though he's not as good as he was a few weeks ago he's still there and he's still Stan. It was nice to see him looking so good.

It took them a while to bring out his tray. While we were waiting I pulled out the uke and sang some songs. The longer we waited, the more subdued Dad became. He wasn't just dozing, he was slipping back into the fog. When his tray came it was hard to rouse him enough to feed him. His food is total mush now and they're giving him thickened liquids. I didn't have the heart to try to give him the thickened milk. At least the juice is kind of like runny jello. He refused to eat the meat mush but he was ok with the mashed potatoes. I don't know what the green stuff was. Probably peas. The whole time his face was screwed up into a disgusted grimace. He ate and drank very little. And most of the time he was really out of it.

After I gave up trying to feed him I sang him some songs without the ukulele. I was trying to come up with any song that he used to sing around the house. I kept trying to encourage him to sing with me. When I sang When I Grow Too Old To Dream he did hum along. Just barely, though. Even so, it was nice that he could hum along and I think he was happy that he could do it. It was hard to keep from choking up. After a while he was pretty unresponsive, so I left.

So, it's hard to say how much longer he'll be with us. When I saw him last week he truly looked like he was at death's door. Today he was much better but only for a little while. When they tested his blood sugar it was 219. Maybe the insulin shot caused him to zone out.

Anyway, we're still in this thing. After Dede's email I went through some emotional stuff. I could see I really wasn't ready for Dad to go, but now I think I am. It was such a struggle for him to eat. It looked like it hurt him to swallow. Even if he does have some good moments in his day the rest of it is spent in suffering. They take such good care of him there but in a way it seems cruel.

Oh well, we'll see.

Blogging from work

Hoo boy, things are dead around here. I've surfed the political blogs, bought a couple things on eBay and spent a little time on Chordie. I've taken two walks around the building. I've answered the phone three times. It's DEAD HERE.

So, I can sit here and think about what I want to do with my house. I've been working on window treatments for my kitchen and dining room. I bought three capiz shell curtains at Cost Plus and cut them apart. I also got some extras on eBay. I'm re-stringing them over the windows. I know it's hard to picture. The shells are brown, turquoise blue, sage green, periwinkle purple, deep red, and white and they come in three sizes. I'm stringing them on black crochet thread. So far I really like how they look. I'll top them off with a cornice covered with brown fabric and embellish with cowrie shells and black beads. Trust me, it's cute.

This will help me figure out what color I want to paint the kitchen. I bought some chalk board paint at Home Depot the other day. I'm going to make a big, black chalkboard in my hallway. One thing I've been missing in my house is a central message area. I think it'll be fun to have a huge one in the hall between the kitchen and office. I have a feeling it will be mostly used as a drawing surface, but maybe there will be some room left for phone messages and shopping lists.

I also want to finally get going on removing the rest of the wallpaper remnants from the walls. Ivy thinks it's great fun to jump up and claw the wallpaper in the kitchen. She doesn't know that she's actually helping the removal process. The wallpaper in three areas has been shredded. If I really wanted to keep it I'd be pissed. I don't think she'll want to scratch the walls once they're painted.

I brought home color chips for the other bathroom. I think I have that color picked out. Gotta remove the wallpaper in there, too. Too bad the tub and sink are in such bad shape. Painting the walls won't make the cruddy porcelain look better. Gotta repair the wall where the heater was removed and patched with a piece of cheap wood paneling. Come on, couldn't they have sprung for a pice of sheetrock?

That ought to do it for now. Oh yeah, the yards. They've gotten a bit out of control. I'm going to call Hector and have him just take care of it. Money well spent.

Nice day for an inauguration

Finally! The nightmare is over. I don't know what kind of president Obama will be. I think he might be a great one. But today I'm not worrying about that. I'm just so happy that we're through with that miserable failure of a human being we had to call President for the last eight years. What a glorious day.

Two years

Hard to believe. The whole thing still boggles my mind sometimes but it's getting better. It's funny, but my most vivid memories of Jim are of him as a teenager. His young, fresh face, his bushy hair, the blue brightness of his eyes. Man, we sure had fun back then.

Tuesday was the hardest day for me this week. I kept thinking two years ago today was the last day of my normal life. I remember so much of what I did that day. I met Stacey at the park where Audra was having softball practice. We went for a walk. I talked to Linda about painting a mural in her kitchen. Jim had a gig in the mountains that night but I didn't go because I didn't want to stay up that late. I figured I'd go to the next one.

The next day he told me what a great time he'd had. The band played really well and they had a great audience. He was having a happy day. He played some music, he puttered around and he gave me a nice massage because I was having some back trouble that day. After that he went out and sat at the computer and that's when he had his stroke.

The rest of this week was a series of distractions. I kept thinking about what I was doing at the hospital, about the support of all our friends, about the girls and Kyle and about Dad and how difficult he was to deal with. I thought about all of us in the room when we let Jim go. It felt so wrong because Jim didn't look sick, just asleep.

So yeah, it was a weird week. On Friday Jeff and Bill came over and we played music. That was great. We hadn't gotten together in a couple months and it felt really good to play with those guys again. On Saturday I went to Ken's. Jessica and Greg were there so I finally got to see little Gregory. Man, he's so tiny. It was nice to hold that little baby and sniff the top of his head. I had brought some marinated tri-tip and Ken grilled it up along with some chicken and squash. It was all so good. Afterward Ken and I played and sang in the living room. A very pleasant scene. Got a little weepy, too.

Today I went to First Congregational for a show rehearsal. Then I met Jeff and his mom at Community Care where our former pastor's wife is staying. She had a leg amputated a few months ago and she hasn't been doing very well. We went for a visit and to play and sing for them. It was a good visit and I think they appreciated the music.

On Saturday before I went to Ken's I went to see Dad. He looked pretty much the same as he did the last time I saw him. There's just not much of him left. His eyes were half open in a vacant stare, his mouth was hanging open with his upper lip curled back. He moved around a little but didn't give much indication that he knew I was there. I sang him a few songs. His nurse came in to test his blood sugar. She said she missed his humor. I asked her if he was like that because of the meds or is this the way he is now. She said this is it. This is what he is now.

Dede sent an email to all of us detailing what Dad's nurses have told them. We're looking at the end here. They'll do what they can to make him comfortable but now all we can do is wait. So much to think about. Feelings are all over the place. Oh man, here we go again.

Whew! It looks like we're gearing up for another marathon. When we get this behind us I hope we Lang sibs can do something awesome together. A river trip at least!

Late night fun at the emergency vet

Last night Charlie was running around the house like she usually does. You have to stop what you're doing to check up on her every few minutes. She had been at my feet while I was at the computer and then she ran into the tv room. Almost instantly I heard her gagging. I ran in there just as she was coming out, running and acting very distressed. She threw up a couple times and then settled down. Paige came home right then and we both gave her a going over. She seemed mostly fine except she would gag every once in a while and then sit and blink her eyes. That was a strange behavior. Paige thought it was her way of wincing.

We took her to the emergency vet. That's always an exercise in extreme waiting. Paige and Gabe and I sat for a long time in the waiting room and then in the examining room before the vet came in. We couldn't let Charlie down because her shots aren't complete yet. We had to hold her the whole time. Unhappy puppy! Her ears kept getting lower and lower.

When the vet came in and checked her over she couldn't find anything. She took Charlie to the back so she could sedate her and check her throat. Within a few minutes the vet tech came out and showed us what Charlie had swallowed. A threaded needle! Oy! We waited a bit longer for Charlie to wake up, paid the $200 vet bill and came home. Charlie gets to choke down some antibiotics for a few days.

I had already started on getting the floor cleaned up and now we're going to step up the effort. The vacuum cleaner has just been fixed (after getting its cord chewed by rabbits). Gracie swallowed a threaded needle a few years ago. That one worked it's way through her body and started to come out her side. Charlie wants to eat everything she sees so we need to get things picked up.

So glad it's the weekend.

Happy Birthday, Stacey!

I love you! Don't worry, I won't tell everyone how old you are.

Ah, the mid-week, non-milestone birthday. How do you celebrate? Stay home from work? Go out to dinner? B-b-boring.

Happy Boring Birthday. I hope your day is better than average. No, no, no, I hope it's wonderful! I'll be thinking about you as I'm cleaning my house.

Personalized plate

I wanted to get CURIOSO but it's taken. I tried to order CUR1OSO but they wouldn't let me have it because it's too close to curioso. I thought maybe I'd use the hand symbol and incorporate it into curioso like CURI(hand)S(hand) but it didn't look right. So, I'm messing around with the CA license plate website. The symbols are a heart, hand, star, and a plus sign. So far I have:

L(hand)RMIND- Left hand, right mind
RFT LFT- Right foot, left foot
(plus sign)TUDE- Positive attitude

We came up with some good ones the other night on our way to LA but they don't really apply to the specialness that is me. I'm open to suggestions. The limit is seven characters.

Bad memories

Last night I went to visit Dad. Usually he's in the dining room when I get there but he's been having some trouble lately so they had him in his room on an IV. He was really out of it, barely conscious. Right after I got there they brought him his dinner. I told the nurse that I would feed him. She said she hoped I'd have better luck getting some food into him than she did.

Pretty much all he did during dinner was stare at me blankly. I had to tell him to open his mouth, tell him to chew, tell him to swallow. Instead of sucking on the straw, he'd bite it. The only way I could get him to drink was to spoon it in. I found that that was the best way to stimulate him to swallow. He had only eaten a very little bit before he indicated he was through. I asked him if he wanted to hear some music. Barely a response there.

I got out the uke and sang him a couple of songs. Every once in a while he'd grimace like he was in pain. At one point his face froze, forehead tight, mouth wide open. I put down the uke and tried to get him to relax, hoping that would help ease the pain. I stroked his hair and his forehead. I rubbed his legs. I asked him what was hurting but he couldn't answer me. Then I noticed that his knee was pressed up against the rail of his bed. I felt myself starting to get very upset. Hold it together, Donita. Do your crying in the parking lot.

We're coming up on the second anniversary of Jim's death. I've been feeling antsy about it and I'll be glad to get past it. On the day he had his stroke I held it together. Like a champ. I held it together when the paramedics took him away. I held it together in the ER. I held it together when they showed Ken and me the scan of Jim's head that showed the huge area of bleed in his brain. And I held i together when they kept saying, "Not a good outcome." I held it together when Jim's brain started to swell and he went into distress and they had to sedate him.

And then I noticed that the skin on his leg had a dent in it from being pressed up against the rail of the gurney. Jim was a big guy. There was no extra room for him to spread out even a little. I went all over that ER looking for anything that could cushion his arms and legs. It was busy that night and I had a hard time getting anyone to slow down enough to help me. I'm sure their workdays are filled with dealing with worried and demanding family members, so they are expert at ignoring and rushing by. I understood that. But damn it, I needed pillows. I finally found someone who showed me where they kept them. I want back to Jim's room and tried to lift his legs so I could stuff the pillows in. And that's when I couldn't hold it together any longer. All I wanted to do was make him comfortable and I was having a hard time doing it. He was already sedated and was certainly in no pain, but I couldn't stand to have him pressed up against those rails. It was a desperate moment for me. I just had to stuff those pillows in.

So last night when I saw Dad's knee pressed against the rail it all came rushing back. His leg could have been that way for hours. He could have been laying there with his face frozen in pain FOR HOURS. I got the pillow from the empty bed next to him and tried to lift his leg to stuff it in. But Dad is so stiff now. Moving his limbs hurts him. I couldn't left his leg high enough before he started to gasp. I found a folded up hospital gown and put that under his knee. He relaxed pretty much right away. I talked to him a little more before he drifted off to sleep. I gathered up my things and left. On my way out I stopped by the nurses station and told them to please make sure he didn't have his arms or legs jammed against the rails of his bed. I asked the nurse to please tell anyone that attends him to make sure he's cushioned and comfortable before they leave him. The nurse nodded and looked at me blankly and said she'd pass it along. Maybe she will. I'm sure her day is also filled with demanding people. My tears started as soon as I turned away from the nurses desk.

During the drive home it was all I could think about. I hope Dad dies soon. Seeing his face last night, the blank stare, the look of pain. Really, he just needs to go. This is no life.

Did ja feel it?

Listed at first as a 5.0, later downgraded to a 4.5. Yeah, ok, still big enough to get my heart pounding. And just now there was a 3.3 aftershock. Man, I love USGS. You can get instant info on earthquakes.

Hoo boy

Today I was informed that I'll bump up against my part-time hours limit sometime in April. That means once I hit 950 hours I can't work until July 1st. I can try to stretch it out but however I choose to do it I'll be bringing in less money. My already meager paycheck is about to get meagerer. I need to figure out how I want to manage this.

I could cut my hours back and take an extra class this spring. I could try to get a second job. That might be hard in this economy but it's worth a try. I've been putting off getting some eBay sales going. If I get that rolling it would be a double plus. I'd make some money and get some crap cleared out of my house, garage and yard. I can take some time off and work on my house. I'm already planning a trip to Texas in March. I have enough credit card points to buy a plane ticket.

Bleah. I can't allow myself to get too stressed over this. It will mean I'll have to dip into the retirement fund again sooner than planned. I hate doing that. Anyway, who knows? I might be able to land one of those full-time positions that occasionally open up at RCC.

So, just keep going. Right foot, left foot, etc.

Lio got chomped yesterday and I'm pretty sure it was Bozzie who did the chomping. I didn't see Lio after I got home from work and it took a while to find him. When I picked him up he cried out in pain. He's been gorging himself on anything he can find to eat so I was afraid he had pulled a Marty. When Marty was fairly young he gorged himself on dog food and got his intestines good and blocked. That was a BIG vet bill. After some fussing I got Lio into the house. I gently prodded his belly but it didn't seem to bother him. Then I saw two spots on his rear end that looked like dried blood. When I touched it he cringed and whimpered. He wouldn't let me do much exploring but it didn't look serious. The bite is on a fleshy (fat) part of his leg. I brought litter box back in and kept him inside last night. I checked on him several times and today he seems fine.

He's been getting pretty comfortable with the dogs lately. Boz has turned into a real jerk. Well, more of a jerk than he always was. I'm pretty sure Lio was being friendly and Boz decided to get grumpy and lash out. I've seen him do it before. Hopefully, Lio will heed the warning and stay out of the back yard.

Sheesh. Boz is my youngest and healthiest dog so he's the one I'll be stuck with after Gracie and Lady are gone. Think his behavior will improve when he has no more dog competition? Yeah, I didn't think so either.

The good news is Ivy and Lio seem to have figured out how to use the cat door.

Well, I'm off to weight loss class. Did I lose 40 pounds?

Update: 38 pounds. Dinner was a little salty last night. That has to be it.

Oh my God, I got an A in History

Un-freakin'-believable. I couldn't have done that well on the final. This teacher is GENEROUS.

I'm floored.

Vacation over

Back to work tomorrow. I was off almost two weeks.

I didn't get as much done as I wanted, but I'm satisfied that the purge has officially begun in earnest. I'm beginning to see progress. This weekend all of Lindsay's stuff will be moved out. Well, not all of her stuff. I'll be storing some of it for her. But at least I'll get the living room back. And I'll be able to use her bedroom for storage.

The kittens are learning how to be outdoor cats. Ivy doesn't like it one little bit. Lio has made friends with Zoey and Marty. He's doing very well but he doesn't like using the cat door. I have two litter boxes outside. So far, I haven't found any accidents in the house.

I went to Kaiser tonight so I could weigh myself and find out how I did over the holidays. After all my indulging and slacking off I still managed to lose half a pound. I'll bet I can take off some more by Wednesday's weigh-in. I went up Mt. Rubidoux this afternoon and I zoomed. I'm going again tomorrow with Jeff.

So, things are moving towards the positive right now. If I had a bit more money it would all be just about perfect.

Boom, boom, boom

It's still sounding off. Happy New Year, everyone.

Charlie and Lio went with me out to the front yard. Charlie was a little concerned about the noise but she was more interested in chasing Lio. Lio acted like he was annoyed but he kept coming back for more. I had a pleasant few minutes outside with a couple of animal buddies. I got a little wistful and teary thinking about what has been and what may be coming. Good stuff this year, ok?

Resolutions?

1. Pull this house together. The garage, too.
2. Related to that- Purge! Get rid of stuff. I took a load to Second Time Around today and it felt gooood.
3. Keep losing weight and improving my health.
4. Do a better job of handling my life.
5. Write some more songs.

That's all I can think of right now.