I just got back from a crappy Dad visit. When I got there he was in the dining room. One of the attendants was trying to feed him. "C'mon, Mr. Lang, just take a bite..." Dad was yelling in pain. I stepped up and let her know that I'd try to feed him. He kept squirming around and crying out. I asked him several times what was hurting but he just can't answer questions like that anymore. I checked his legs. His right knee was jammed up against the rail. Against the CORNER of the rail. We're talkin' a sharp, 90 degree angle. His leg had a big red mark where the rail was pressing. I shoved a pillow between the rail and his knee and he quieted right down. I called one of the staff over to show her what had happened. She called the attendant over who had been trying to feed him. I told them that Dad must always be cushioned. If he's yelling in pain there's a good chance it's because he's pressed up against the rails. I was pretty pissed but I held it together. Oh yeah, and Dad was also soaking wet. I don't think that had just happened. And his mouth was so dry his lips were curled back. I got him some water and he took a big swig, swished it around in his mouth and then spit it out against the wall (Heh!).
Just then I heard an announcement. They were going to be having a meeting in the living room and all the families of the residents were invited. I had them take Dad back to his room so he could get cleaned up. I told them I'd try to feed him more of his dinner in there. While we were waiting for an attendant to lift him back into bed dad fell asleep. I went to the meeting.
There were about 8 family members there and three officious-looking men sitting at a table. They were touting the features and services of Airforce Village. A few people asked questions. I sat and listened. I wasn't sure at that point if I was going to say anything about the seemingly persistent problem of Dad's limbs pressing against hard metal. Then the head cheese said, "Are there any other questions or comments?" Ok, what the hell. I raised my hand.
I told them what had just happened in the dining room and that it had happened before. I told them we had talked to the caregivers and the head nurse about the problem. I told them if my dad is yelling in pain they need to investigate. Yes, he just might be in pain just because, but they have to at least try to find the cause. The officious panel turned into headlight-blinded deer. I told them that overall we've been satisfied with his care. I told them that the other places Dad had been couldn't seem to get his meds right so that his crazy behavior was under control. Airforce Village was doing a good job with that. They assured me that they'd take care of it, and I'm pretty sure they will. They looked like they reeeally wished they had moved on and not taken any more questions. Then they introduced a woman who was from a local mortuary who was going to talk about "pre-need". I said, "Ok, thanks, I'm going back to my dad" and left.
I went back to Dad's room just as the attendant was lifting him back into bed. He was slipping out of the sling! He was scared to death and yelling his head off. Cussing, too. A lot. She got him into bed before he fell out the bottom of the sling. Then a different attendant, the one in the dining room, came in to change him and get him ready for bed. As she was cleaning him up we both noticed that he had an angry-looking red patch on his back. I couldn't tell if it was a bed sore or diaper rash. She called for a nurse to come look at it but she didn't show up in the time I was there. After Dad was clean and settled I got out the uke and sang him a few songs before he fell asleep. Then I put the uke away and got a piece of paper and a pen. I made a sign the said- If Mr. Lang is yelling in pain please check his arms and legs to make sure they aren't pressed against the metal rails. Please make sure he is always cushioned. He moves around a lot and might lose his pillows. If he is in pain there's a good chance that he's pressed against the rail.
I also drew a picture of a leg pressed against a rail and drew wavy pain lines emanating from the knee. I wrote "ouch!" next to it. Then I tacked it to the wall where I was pretty sure they'd see it. Then I left.
So, fuck 'em if they were embarrassed. Too bad. I'm sure Dad isn't the only one who has to endure hours of pain because some dope didn't bother to check to see what was causing it. These people need some training on this issue. I'll also talk to Dede and have her tell them to give him some water. Just plain, unthickened water. He can handle it and he needs it. Letting him go all day with his mouth so dry he can't pull his lips over his teeth is just plain cruel and, I think, lazy on their part.
Ugh!
8 comments:
Oh, Donita- that's horrible- your poor Dad. I'm really glad you brought the problem out into the open and now they'll pay extra attention to him- which of course they should have been doing in the first place.
And the water- these are BASIC needs here -come on, people!
Hang on, Doni
Mommala
Well, they do give him fluids and I think it's probably enough. But it's always thickened fluids, which he hates. He really needs to have plain water to moisten his mouth. They say he chokes occasionally, which is probably true, but he hasn't lost the ability to swallow yet. Give him water.
Imagine if he was alone without people to visit him.
dean
I have come to realize that no matter where you parents are staying, you need to be vigilant and complain, complain, complain.
Dean- I only see him once a week, sometimes less. I don't know about Stacey and Drew. I know they see him but I don't know how often. Drew has to be careful about what he might be exposed to if he goes there. I think we might have to step up the visits.
Jeff- I think you're right. Airforce Village is the best place we've found so far. I don't know what Dad is paying right now but I know it's a lot. I talked to Dede today and she said she'll talk to them. It's kind of hard having everything go through Dede and David because they're so far away, but that's the way it has to be. It wouldn't work well for all of us to have input with AV. I know all of us are grateful to Dede and David for taking on almost full responsibility for Dad's affairs.
Another little point of information. Dad called me by name several times last night. I think that shows there's still a lot there.
and btw, I don't ever find that anyone is embarrassed about what you point out to them at those places.
And the more incapacitated someone is, the worse the care unless a family member is always there to complain. Which is not always feasible.
Not to mention that I don't think these people are paid very well (not that it should matter, but it does). And I notice staff don't last at those jobs very long, I think the pay sucks and so does the job.
It's fucked up to get old and rely on others.
Which was his worst nightmare.
Yeah, I think there must be quite a turnover of staff at those places. It's certainly not a job I'd want to do for long. Dede thinks that attendant might have been new. Dede and I both agree that sometimes it's the family that has to provide the training.
The more often you (or other family members) pop in the better the care. The more complaints you lodge the better the care. The squeeky wheel ya know.
Oddly tonight I got a phone call from the Towers asking me how the MIL was...because he thought he needed to call me back. I haven't called there in over a year so am not sure why he was telling me he thought he needed to touch base with me. If he had current records he would have called one of the boys.
They've never seemed very attentive to their recordkeeping.
Post a Comment