I haven't really thought of myself as a single person but it's starting to sink in. Especially since I'm doing so many things, like, alone. I'm finding I don't mind it so much (for now). Eventually I'm sure I'll feel differently. Tonight I had a hankering for a steak so I went to the Spunky Steer. Paige is spending the night with a friend and Lindsay and Kyle were out with their friends so I went by myself. On the way in I noticed that no one was sitting on the patio so I asked for a table out there. I read my book, gazed at the moon and listened to the trains and enjoyed my dinner.
It's just different. I don't know how to be single. I don't want to sit at home night after night but it feels a little weird going out alone. I don't have that many friends here in Riverside that I can just call up and say hey, let's go do something. I think eventually I will so I'm not too worried about it. Once my life is more settled I want to take some classes at RCC. I want to do things that will get me out there meeting people.
But for now it's a little weird. I feel like I've been thrown into this category about 20 years too early. Like, maybe if this had happened when I was older it would feel more natural. I still feel like I'm supposed to have a partner. So, I go out, I do projects, I live my single life and wonder if I'm doing it right. I catch myself thinking, is this what single people do?
I'll get it figured out eventually. It will become part of my identity and it'll fit better. But for now it's awkward.
12 comments:
Most of my single friends are doing what you're doing...some times calling people to do things, but most times hanging out at home doing whatever, whenever they want to without having the responsibility to anyone else.
Which is kind of attractive in it's own way. But the grass is always greener on the other side too. I do know lots of older single people who eventually refuse to let anyone in because of the potential for that freedom to be compromised.
How about going out and getting a really part time job? Like at Starbucks. Very flexible hours, lots of people contact and they have great benefits. The people contact is the best part (I think) lots of creative people who use SB as a place to work, lots of different customers of all walks of life. The hours can be as little as you want or as heavy.
I'm applying at a few places here and there but I haven't seriously started looking for a job yet. Several people have recommended Starbucks. I'm starting to think that might be a good choice for a first get-my-feet-wet kind of job.
Jeez, I hope I never reach the point where I choose to be alone rather than give up my independence. Gack!
My sister-in-law went through this when my brother died four years ago. About a year into it, she declared: "I think I'd like to go on a cruise." She then proceded to completely negate her wish by saying: "But I don't want to go with couples - that'd be weird. And.....I don't want to go on a senior cruise because I think I'm too young for that; and I don't want to go with the younger set because I'm too old for that; and I don't have any friends that I'm close with that aren't couples; and I don't want to go by myself." I had to laugh and point out to her that she probably wouldn't go on many cruises with that mind set.
Since then she's gone to Israel with a church group and on at least two cruises with guy friends who promised to behave (and did.) She is finding that she likes her independence ok, and she's reconnected on a friend basis with her brother-in-law, whose second wife passed away, and they're old-time pals, and they get along great as travel buddies! So, time seems to help.
Mary
Hmm, that sounds interesting. Hey, Brian, you wanna go on a cruise? ;-) But only if you promise to behave!
I'll go on a cruise with you! And I'll behave!
Nancy
Going on a trip with girlfriends is a great way to travel. I went with 3 other women to Paris, we all left our men (those of us who have partners) at home.
Boys can be labor intensive.
NOW we're gettin' a plan!
It's like Thelma and Louise and.. Shirly or something...
Ok, but let's have a different ending.
So, when do we get to share Brad Pitt?
tv's kyle - that would be Laverne and Shirley, I believe.
Heck, Doni - you and Nancy could have a GREAT time!!!
Brad Pitt? He could be put off by women right about now.
Have you ever seen "Defending the Caveman"? If you get the chance, it's pretty spot-on funny!
Mary
Aargh, now I've posted twice - it's being fussy with me!
There, I fixed it.
No, I haven't seen Defending The Caveman. Sounds intriguing.
Laverne and Shirley? That means we get Lenny and Squiggy.
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