Air show!

Well, that was fun!

This morning I got up mega early and started putting the party together. Everything worked out, timing-wise. Everybody showed up pretty much at the same time. Thank you to Virginia and Venitia (sp?) and Corrina for helping me put out the food. We had breakfast burritos, fruit, muffins and mimosas. Thank you Lindsay and Kyle for taking on the coffee project. I think the food worked out pretty well.

Today we had Virginia, Bill and Jeff, Ken and Sherri, John, Venitia and her daughter Corrina, cousins Steve and Debbie, Lindsay and Kyle and me. Dad was there earlier with a couple of church ladies but they didn't stay long. I did tell Dad they could stay but Helen and Laurel said they had to leave.

The show was slow getting started. Both Ken and I think it has been better in past years. Still, it was a fun day. Check out the photos on Virginia's blog. I told everyone to bring their ukes and guitars. We messed around with some music during the lulls. Just as Kyle, Lindsay and I were singing Why Not? the stealth fighter came zooming over. And really, Why Not?

Check out the photo of Bill with a jet zooming through his head. That plane was moving seriously fast. Virginia caught it just right!

The party broke up at around 1:30. The show had gotten pretty dull (dang, where are my loud jets?) and we were FRYING in the sun. We threw everything in the back of the truck and drove it back down. Thanks for helping me pack up, everyone. I came in the house and crash landed on my bed. Had a good hour and a half nap. Right when I woke up my noisy jet showed up. It was TINY (as jets go). I couldn't believe that much sound came from such a dinky plane.

Hector came over and mowed the yards. Big, big improvement. The place looks pretty good now. Lindsay and Kyle went to see Meet The Robinsons in 3D in Hollywood. Paige is out with Rory and I'm here alone. I might just go see Meet The Robinsons at the Plaza. It's Saturday night. Things will be hoppin' down there.

I'm so angry I could scream

I'm mostly angry at myself for not predicting it. But it's not me I want to strangle right now.

I've invited some friends to come here on Saturday to have breakfast and watch the air show. I told Dad because I didn't want him to flip out when he sees a bunch of strange cars driving up to the top of the hill. This morning a jet and a few planes flew over, probably some performers showing up early to practice. Dad's been calling me all morning. "Gotta call Stacey and tell her to bring all of her chairs! Some of the church people are coming!!" I told him no, it's not that kind of party. I've invited MY friends. Well, that's it, he's off and running. Now there's going to be a lot of church people here for my party. (Excuse me if you're offended by this but) GODDAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I didn't want this! I wanted to have a nice, fun morning with friends, having breakfast and watching the cool planes. I was really looking forward to it. Now it's going to be a bunch of people I don't know. Old people who need help. Little whiny kids I don't know. Dad swears he's done this every year but it certainly hasn't happened in the three years that we've been here. He always goes to the kids' ballgames and I assumed he'd do the same this year. Well, ASS U ME!!!!!

I called Stacey and asked her to try to head it off but it was too late. She couldn't talk him into going to Brendan's game. So, if he calls again I'm going to tell him I'm cancelling the whole thing. If he wants to have a party he's on his own. I am not going to spend the morning running my ass off making sure everyone is taken care of. Besides, I'm much too angry, bitter and filled with resentment. I won't be any fun anyway.

Last night I called him to remind him to take his meds. Often he'll forget even if I call him so I told him to go take them while I waited on the phone. He bitched and moaned about it but I persisted. He was gone a long time before he came back to the phone. I figured he got sidetracked or something. Well, this morning when I went over there the meds box was almost empty and what was left had been moved around to different compartments. I asked him about it and he said he took what he needed to get caught up and moved the rest so it would match up to the rest of the week. AAAIIEEEEE!!!!!! I asked him where the rest of the pills were and he said he had taken them!!!! That's probably why he's so fired up today. He was foggy this morning and now he's jacked up.

So, that's it. I need to find something else to do Saturday morning because I won't be able to stand being around here. Man, I'll be so glad when I'm not doing this anymore.

It would be very helpful...

...if at the VA they'd put a giant red A on Dad's computer page so the different doctors would know how to talk to him.

Today I took him in for an eye appointment. Both of the docs that saw him today told him his eyesight is fine and he should have no trouble driving. STOP RIGHT THERE, DOC! Dad latched onto that like a pitbull on a postman. He told them he wanted it in writing and he was going to go see Dr. Griffin right NOW and show it to her and boy oh boy he's gonna be driving by sundown! When he was ranting at the second doc I said, "But Dad the reason you're not driving isn't your eyesight." A wave of understanding flashed across the doctor's face. Yeah, thanks a lot, bub. Dad said, "WHY? Why can't I DRIVE?!?" I told him it's because of his Alzheimer's. He said, "Well, someone's going to have to convince me of that!" He bitched all the way out to the car.

The cataract in his right eye isn't ripe yet so he won't be getting surgery any time soon. That's a relief for me. The last time I had to put drops in his eyes four times a day for several weeks. I've got plans to take some trips in the next few months and after that I need to find a job. If the cataract surgery can be put off for a while the eyedrops will be given by the next caregiver, probably in an assisted living facility.

Wow. It's so strange to think about someone else taking care of Dad like that. But that day is coming.

Other news... We found out that Mr. Bunny is a Ms. Paige and I looked it up on the web. They have photos and everything. It was like looking at bunny porn.

You Tube Video Awards

Isn't You Tube just the coolest thing? I just watched the Free Hugs video again. I actually think it's good for me to cry. Sometimes I get emotionally stuck and it feels awful. Having a good cry is very cleansing and right now the Free Hugs video is a great trigger for a flood of tears.

So, go to You Tube and see their best.

OKGo will make you smile and want to join a gym. Ask A Ninja is... well, I don't know but once I'm done mourning I'd kinda like to date that guy.

Stuff

It's been a pretty good couple of days. Last night the TV's Kyle band performed at open mike. Our first time without Jim. I had a bit of a train wreck with the intro to Cellar Door but the rest of the song went pretty well. Same with Beaver Duck, although I did screw up a few times. I don't have the full sound of the keyboard to cover my mistakes anymore. So, that just means I need to get better.

I performed solo at open mike for the first time. Again, some mistakes but I just rolled with it and had fun with the audience. They sang with me, which was fun. But again, near the end of Beautiful Sunday I felt myself getting the weepies from hearing their voices. I held it together this time.

Yesterday we brought the bunny in and watched him and Spiral chase each other around the living room. It was pretty damn funny. Spiral took a few swats at him but the bunny was too quick for him and jumped out of the way. The bunny gave as good as he got. I think Spiral just couldn't believe he was being chased by a white bunny.

Today I opened a checking account at a credit union. Later I took Paige in to open a savings account. She's getting Social Security checks now. It feels good to get stuff like that done.

Later I took Dad to the grocery store. Two hours! His cart was filled to the max! Oh well, he's set for a while. I had to stick close to him to make sure he wasn't getting too many sweets. He still ended up with a lot of candy bars. Yeesh.

This Saturday is the Riverside Air Show. This will probably be the last time we'll have our exclusive seats so I'm going to make a party of it. Come on over! We'll have breakfast at the top of the hill. I think the best part of the show happens in the morning. I was thinking of having breakfast burritos, fruit, coffee and mimosas. Bring a lounge chair (you'll be looking up a lot), a big hat and sunscreen.

I love it when the air show comes to town. On the day before the sky above our house is filled with stunt flyers and vintage planes all practicing their routines. The next day they're all there to perform joined by awesomely loud fighter jets, a HUGE transport plane and the stealth fighter. Parachute teams, too. I'll take the truck to the top of the hill and park there for the day. Great seats!

A pretty good day

This morning I went to Stacey's for a sib meeting to discuss Dad issues. Lots of great stuff there. Man, I love my family. I am so grateful for the way we work together. And they're pretty cool people to hang out with.

David filled us in about bro-in-law Bob. He has prostate cancer. He's doing ok right now. They're trying to figure out which treatment they want to use. Our love and prayers go out to them. Get better, Bob.

After the family meeting I stopped by a yard sale and bought a HUGE mirror for $10. Good score there. I've been wanting to get a full length mirror so we don't have to keep going into Lindsay's room for the head to toe wardrobe check. I put this one in the hall. It doesn't quite fit the space so I need to figure out how I want to hang it. I might just leave it as it is since hanging it will be a project and we won't be here that much longer.

When I got home I made some cds for Drew. His birthday was yesterday (Happy Birthday, Drew!) so tonight we all went to Olivia's for dinner. Afterward we came back to Dad's for pie and coffee. Dede is working on having our old family movies put on dvds. She got Drew's finished first so he could have it for his birthday. Oh man, that was so much fun to see! Debbie and I were little kids, Drew was a baby and Mom and Dad were young and so very attractive. I'm looking forward to seeing the whole collection.

I played Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow and Beautiful Sunday for them since they won't be at open mike tomorrow night. Everybody sang along on Beautiful Sunday. I had just sent the surfing dog video to them so they were freshly familiar with the song. Hearing their voices singing made me weepy. Silly Donita. Yes, today was a very weepy day.

But it was a good one.

A night at Ken's

I had a great walk with Jeff yesterday. We've been walking down Victoria avenue because I've been having knee problems. It's a nice place to walk, mostly flat with gentle slopes. The landscaping along the path is very well-maintained. I still prefer Mt. Rubidoux but right now Victoria avenue is wonderful because the citrus trees are blooming and the air is delightfully perfumed. I love it.

Then I went to Ken's. I was really looking forward to this visit because it's the first time Ken, John and I were going to be together since Jim's farewell party. We had planned to play some acoustic stuff and talk, probably mostly talk. First I stopped at La Bodega to get some, um, drinks. Then I went to Vons for snackies. When I got to Ken's he had just gotten off the phone with John. He looked kind of stunned. He said John called to tell him he wasn't going to be there because his mother had just died. Holy cow! I had just talked to John at about 3:30 and he was all set to go to Ken's and have a nice evening. His mother was in her eighties and had been recently diagnosed with advanced colon cancer. They were in the process of moving her into hospice care and she died on the way there. So... we didn't have John with us last night. (We love you, John! I'll talk to you soon.)

Ken, Sherri and I took our drinks (champagne and tequila) and guacamole and chips out to the patio and had a good talk. When I was feeling decently buzzed I told Ken to get his guitar and I got out the uke. Oh man, it was great! We played and played. Ken showed me some songs and I took a lot of notes. We sounded really good together and I can't wait to add in John. John also plays acoustic guitar as well as banjo. I think we could get a two hour show together in almost no time.

Hoo boy, Donita got verrrry drunk. I stopped drinking alcohol and just had water at the end of the evening but I had already had way too much to drive home. Usually I'm pretty good at knowing when I need to quit but damn, I was having a really good time and that tequila tasted so good. I crashed on their sofa. When I woke up at around 2:30 I felt ok enough to drive home. Sherri had nicely packed up my stuff for me (thanks, Sherri!) so I gathered it up and went home. Moving a bit slow today.

Yeesh, I haven't been that messed up in a very long time. But, dammit, this has been a shitty week and I needed to blow it off somehow. Mission accomplished. We really had a good time. But we kept saying we wished John could be there. Another night, then.

Better today?

Well, sort of. This morning I got an e-mail reply from the customer service person at eBay telling me how I can shut Jim's account down. That was a weird one for me. So far I've transferred some accounts into my name but I haven't actually shut anything down. It almost felt the way it did when we decided to withdraw life support. So, I sat here and had a good sob-fest. I really needed it.

Then I made some phone calls and paid bills. It was more of the same with the phone calls. I'm getting the doctor's bills now and some of them said according to their records Jim didn't have health insurance. I have to call them all and tell them to submit the bills to the health insurance company. So, now instead of feeling weepy I'm feeling kind of angry, kind of don't-fuck-with-me-or-else. I gathered up the bills and left to go mail them and run some errands.

When I got home Jeff called and said he couldn't go walking today. I decided it was time for a bike ride. I hadn't ridden in a couple of weeks. It was great! I rode through some nice neighborhoods. I rode to Jim's old neighborhood and took a look at the Smith's old house. Then I headed down Palm. Just as I was about to cross Jurupa I saw Kevin sitting at the light. I yelled and tried to get his attention but he didn't hear me. When the light changed I rode in front of him and made the ugliest face I could muster right at him. He didn't recognize me (I was wearing my helmet). I turned around and followed him home. When he saw me riding up he realized who the crazy woman was.

I had a very nice visit with him and Mary. When it started to get dark I said goodbye and started home. It was drizzling. Gotta get me some goggles. I don't mind riding in the rain but I don't like getting stabbed in the eyes by raindrops. I feel good. It was a good ride.

Feeling fragile today

Yuck. Just when I think I have a handle on things something new comes along and knocks me off center. Yesterday I checked Jim's e-mail for the first time in two weeks. I had forgotten he had a bunch of books and cds for sale on Half.com. One of the books had sold. This was some out of print Microsoft book that sold for $213.00! I found it and packaged it up. This morning I checked his mail again and a cd had sold ($1.99). I found that one and wrapped it up. Then I left to go on some errands.

I dropped off my dry cleaning, went to the post office to mail the book and cd and then went to the bank to get cashiers checks to pay back the loans for the hospital bills. As I was driving to the bank I was thinking about all the stuff that's locked inside Jim's 4 computers, the 2 Macs and the 2 pcs that are in the bedroom closet. Not only are the financial stuff and the Rancho Curioso stuff on those computers but a whole lot of his music is as well. I have his passwords but I've discovered he also used a lot of different user names. So, which user name goes with which password? And I'm sure these files have layers that I have no idea how to get to. I'm sure eventually I'll get it all sorted out but it made me wonder how many years I'll be lugging this stuff around because I can't get to the information I really need to keep. I certainly can't just throw it all away.

So, by the time I got to the bank I could feel my throat tightening up. As I was standing in line I was thinking about paying off the loans and what an important step that was. Just as I got to the front the damn bank greeter was suddenly next to me, really almost behind me saying, "Hello, Miss! I just wanted to make sure I said hello to you today!" I just about jumped out of my skin. I HATE that! Sure, say hello as I'm coming in the door but don't attack me in line just to make sure I'm properly greeted! Another thing I hate is being called "Miss". I'm fifty freakin' years old! Being called "Miss" doesn't flatter me. I'm solidly in Ma'am territory, thank you very much. He said, "Are they treating you well this morning?" Grrr... I said, "I'm fine. I'm next in line so I'm happy" (Now go away and leave me the fuck alone.) Well, it was too late, I was ready to lose it. There's no way I could have gotten through the transaction without being reduced to tears. So I left. I was at the front of the line and I just had to leave.

I went out to my car and just sat there and sobbed. After about 15 minutes I pulled it together, checked my eyes for redness and went back into the bank. The greeter said, "Hey! You came back!" (Somebody get me a gun.) Fortunately the line wasn't long so I got to a window pretty fast. I told the teller what I needed and she said the funds were still being held and wouldn't be available until Wednesday. Crap. In two days I have to do it all over again.

I left and went for some lunch. Virginia had mentioned going to El Torito for dinner the other night. That sounded good and it was close so I went there. First I stopped at Borders and bought a couple magazines, one really good one on mid-century modern design. I LOVE that stuff! At El Torito I had a great waitress and the meal was excellent. She and I got into a conversation about tequila. She noticed that I sipped my shot of Patron instead of slamming it down. She suggested another kind of tequila, Don Julio Anejo, so I tried a shot of that. Mmmmm... That lunch was exactly what I needed.

Then I went to the grocery store and was back in idiot land. Oh well. Now I'm home and ready for a hot bath and a nap.

Spiral

Last night someone left the front door open and Spiral got out. Ugh. This morning we all walked around looking for him. Kyle was pretty upset. I drove around a little just to make sure Spiral wasn't squished in the street- he wasn't. I was still limping because of my toe so I couldn't walk around the farm and do a good search. The kids all walked around but no one saw him. He's such a skitty kitty I figured if he was still around he was probably hiding somewhere. We left the house open today hoping he'd come back.

For the last few weeks this white rabbit has been hanging around the barnyard. I've also seen him hopping around in the Christmas trees out front. He got into some red powder (concrete colorant, I think) which tinged his coat pink. Boz discovered him this morning and chased him under an old shed in the front field. Paige and Rory managed to catch him. He's a very friendly bunny. Rory said his grandma has some rabbit cages so tomorrow they're going to go get one. Right now he's in our back bathroom just chillin' in the shower.

Today the Odiens (Virginia, Bill and Jeff) came over for lunch. I made a big salad with some boiled shrimp and some grilled salmon. I also made aioli baguettes (always a hit). We had a very pleasant afternoon. Virginia brought a chocolate/raspberry cake in honor of Anne's birthday. I stuck some party picks in one slice and Virginia filmed it as we sang Happy Birthday. She has the clip on her blog. The link is in the comments section of the previous post. Just a silly bit of fun.

After they left I got into my jammies and took a nap. Then I got up and had some more salad and shrimp for dinner. I went out to the front porch and played some uke. Every once in a while I'd call Spiral. Not that he'd come to me, I just wanted him to hear his name being called. After that I came in and watched tv in my room.

Then Lindsay came in and said, "Guess who just strolled in?" Monster boy came back. We still had the front door open and he found his way back in. Whew! So, now we're all happy. Spiral came home, my toe is better and now we have added a bunny to the mix.

What a day.

#$@!&%!!!

I banged my toe. This is my chronic little toe. If I bump it on something it pops out of joint and hurts like a MO-FO!!!! It's been this way for years. If I grab it real quick I can pop it back in before the pain hits. But if I need to take a pause to regain my balance I might not get to it quick enough to beat the pain rush. Today I was lucky but it's still very painful and tender. I'm all wrapped up in an ACE bandage. I took one of Dad's Vicodins.

The first time it happened I was in the Odien's pool. All the church kids were there. I was in the deep end, hanging onto the side. My foot l-i-g-h-t-l-y brushed against the side of the pool. I felt my little toe pop out and then pop back in. I was thinking, man, that's weird, I wonder what that was, AAAIIEEEEEEOOOWWWWW!!!!!! I could hardly get out of the pool. They had to practically carry me to my car. The Odiens live just a few blocks from Hope Lutheran, which is where my mom worked as church secretary. I drove there and honked my horn. The look on my mom's face was pretty funny when she came out to see what was up. Like, gee, has my daughter gotten to be THAT lazy? She took me to the doctor. He just bandaged it up and sent me home with crutches. It's been popping out once or twice a year ever since.

There is an evil, toe-grabbing demon living in the Odien's swimming pool.

It's been two months

Two months since the stroke. Two months since I last heard Jim speak to me. Two months since I last heard his music coming from this studio. It's much too quiet here now.

One of the things I really loved about my life with Jim was hearing him play here at home. I'd be in the house doing dishes or working out in the yard and I'd hear him out here playing. I always felt so lucky to have that.

His last day was a good one. He'd had that great gig the night before with Dave Hocket's band. He was puttering around just doing this and that, having a pleasant day. I was having back trouble. One of the last things he did that day was give me a nice, long back massage with the electric massager. We had such a nice conversation. He seemed so happy. Right after that he went back out to the studio. Maybe 15 minuted later Lindsay came to tell me he looked like he was falling asleep in front of the computer. That was it.

Two months ago it was cold and windy. I remember thinking it was too bad he had to go through this while the weather was so shitty. Not a logical thought at all but at that time so many of my thoughts didn't make any sense.

Now it's warm and sunny. I have flowers planted everywhere. Every morning I go out with my cup of coffee and sit with the kitties and look at my pitty wowies (Lindsay's word for flowers when she was little) and enjoy the sunshine.

There's still so much to do. I'm glad that the weather is nice now. I don't like working in the cold and so much of what needs to be done involves working in the apartment out back or in the storage trailer. And then there's all that other stuff like paperwork and getting the cars squared away. I still have too many piles of "issues". I need to make a master list and stick it on the fridge so things don't fall through the cracks. So, ok, I'll do that. I need to keep moving forward so I don't get stuck in overwhelm.

Hmm, right now I don't have something fun to look forward to. No more Trucker shows for now. Yes, I must find a show or a concert or something. Who's on tour? Gotta get out of town, even if it's just for an evening.

Another drumline Saturday

This time in San Diego. Ths kids were better this time. I just had one kid get grumpy because someone took his shoe. And now I'm home wishing I had something to do.

Oh man, buses are way more uncomfortable than they used to be. They have seatbelts now, three sets to a seat. That means there are two seatbelt latches built into the seat and there's no way to avoid sitting on them. I had a couple of Paige's fleece throws that I folded up and sat on trying to avoid the butt bruising latches. They didn't help much. And the seats are crammed in like airline seats so there's no leg room. My knees were jammed up against the seat in front of me.

There are two more drumline shows left. I'll probably be the bus mom for those too. So, next time I'll bring a big, thick pillow.

Bleah. I got roped into making chili and a salad for the chili cook-off fundraiser on tuesday. I'm just going to make the stuff and drop it off at the school. I don't want to stay for the event. No, no, no...

Dinner at Ken and Sherri's

What a good, GOOD visit! It was just the three of us. We talked and laughed and drank and ate and even got weepy a few times. It was so good to be with them.

I took my uke. After dinner I played some of the songs I've been working on lately. Ken got pretty excited! I'm going to start going over there to work on music. Ken wants to play with me and we're going to talk to John about joining us. No, it's not going to be Casual Sunday minus Jim. We'll never be able to recreate that.

Man. Ken said it's hard for him to play music because he keeps hearing the keyboard parts that aren't there and never will be again. I have the same problem with some pieces of music, songs that Jim and I did together. Musically, Jim was bigger than all of us put together. Not only was he an amazing soloist but when he played with a group he added colors and textures that were uniquely Jim and supported the group beautifully. There's no replacing him. What we all had is gone.

So yeah, we got a little weepy last night. And we had a real good time. We'll be getting together more often. What we have as a family, as friends, as musicians is too good to let it slide.

Dreaming about Jim

It's funny, but I really haven't dreamed about him until recently. He just started showing up. The other night I dreamed we were sitting in a theater, like Ramona's auditorium. He was sitting a couple seats away from me and I was looking at him and I knew in 3 days he was going to have a stroke. I was thinking wow, here he is having a good time and he doesn't even know that in three days his life will be over. He was just smiling, sitting there enjoying himself. We didn't speak. He looked younger, like he did in highschool.

This all still doesn't seem real. How can he be gone? It just seems impossible. Like, IMPOSSIBLE.

Today I went to Home Depot and bought a LOT of plants. Mostly 6 packs of flowers. I got out there and got dirty. I planted tomatoes and some herbs. It felt good to work in the sun and smell the dirt and hang with the kitties and look at pretty flowers. In a little while I'm going to Ken and Sherri's. That'll be nice, kind of like old times. Their patio is like Prozac. Heh! We'll hang out on the Prozac Patio. Here at home I have a Prozac Porch.

Anyway, it's been a nice day.

Dad's evaluation

Today I took Dad to the VA to see a psychiatrist. He needed to be evaluated so he can be declared incompetent. Lordy. These people deal with AD patients all the time. You would think they'd know when to lie to the patient to protect the caregiver. I was squirming! Dr Griffin came right out and told him he was being evaluated so we'd know how to take care of his living trust. I had told Dad that we were there to update his meds. Then they had him go with a nurse to have his blood pressure checked. While he was out the psychiatrist came in. We had a quick chat about why we needed a letter from her. I mentioned the farm and the sale just to fill her in on a few of the details. When Dad came back she told him that I had mentioned that the farm was for sale. Dad started getting pretty agitated. He said, "Well, SHE doesn't know what's going on with the land. Don't ask HER!" Jeez..

Dr. Griffin gave Dad the same test she gave him a year ago. She had him spell "world" backwards. She had him draw a clock. The psychiatrist gave him a "connect the dots" kind of test. He performed poorly on almost everything. And he got madder with each one. He never really lost it but he was sure on the edge.

After a little while the psychiatrist said she wanted to speak to me alone. I'm sure Dad didn't like that. She and I went out to the hall. Man, what is it with psychiatrists and German accents? She's a tiny, gray-haired woman who speaks like Edna in The Incredibles. Anyway, we talked about upping Dad's Rivastigmine and adding an anti-anxiety drug and an anti-paranoia drug. One of those is Risperidone, which had been prescribed before but we never gave him because of the possible side effects. She assued me it would be at a low dose and that the benefits outweighed the risks. I told her it sounded good to me but she should talk to David about it. She gave me her card.

On the way home he started asking me how Dr. Griffin knew about the living trust. He said I had to be the one who talked to her about it. I told him that David had been talking to Dr. Griffin. He said, "David doesn't know anything about me! David isn't my doctor!" He said that when I was out talking to the psychiatrist Dr. Griffin told him it was possible for him to get his driver's license back. All he has to do is take some tests. Um...yeah.... I'm sure that's exactly what she said. I didn't argue.

Boy, he's really suspicious of me now. I'm in cahoots with the doctors. He was pretty cold to me when we got home. Whatever.

This morning I started cleaning up the workshop. The work bench was full of Jim's nerd stuff. Alas, he had been working on a stomp box for John that was almost finished. John will just have to find someone to finish it for him. I'm going to separate out the stuff I can use and store the rest until I can find someone who can tell me what it is and if I should keep it. I'm planning to have a garage sale in May. I'm hoping to have most of it sorted out by then. We'll have a second sale in September. When it's time for us to move I want to take only the essentials.

I got the life insurance settlement. I deposited some of it into my bank account. When that check clears in 10 days I can pay everyone back. YAY!

Ukulele Sunday

Today was the first meeting of the Riverside Ukulele Circle. It was organized by the Odien bros. It was held at Back To The Grind, a downtown coffee place. They have this cool basement room that's very acoustically alive. Like ukes in a shower. I thought it sounded pretty good. That is until these two loud, pool playing, speed freaking assholes showed up about halfway through the meeting. Those guys pissed me off.

Jeff had put together a songbook of simple 3 chord songs. We went through a bunch of them (maybe too many) and then everyone had a chance to share a song. Almost everyone had something to perform. The Canaries sang I Shall Be Released. It was the first time I've heard them sing that since Jim's party. The tears started to flow. Virginia saw me falling apart from across the room and brought me a napkin. Thank you, Virginia.

I got up and went to the back of the room for a while. I was still way too weepy so I went behind the curtain where the pool table was. Bevis and Butthead hadn't shown up yet. I found a little sofa in a dark corner. Pretty little dragon fly lights lined the ceiling. I sat down and waited for my sadness to pass. Then I heard these two loud, stupid, bridge troll voices. They were dinking around with the pool table and having this loud conversation while the uke people were performing. I was afraid they'd come around the corner and see me so I got up and went back to the uke circle. The trogs figured out how to get the pool balls loose and started up a game. Assholes.

Oh well, whaddaya gonna do? We kept going. I went back to my seat and sang Haiku, by Tally Hall. Need more practice on that one. But I think people enjoyed it. Everyone had cool stuff to share. One of the guys sang Mongoloid by Devo. There was this kid (another Liam) who's been studying with a ukulele master who blew us all out of the water. He's what, twelve?

Sue Hannibal was there. She didn't remember me at all. Well, I guess I made a big impression on her 30 years ago.

So, other than the aerosol brothers and my crumble it was a fun afternoon. When I was leaving my car wouldn't start. Shit! Bill and Liam hadn't driven away yet and Bill saw that I was having trouble. They stayed to help me. Bill thought it sounded like I was out of gas. I thought that was probably true since my gas gauge has been acting squirrely lately. It'll show a full tank and then plunge down to empty. I guess it was telling the truth this time.

They drove me home to pick up a gas can. It only had a gallon but we figured it was enough. It wasn't. They took me home (Thanks, guys!) and I had Lindsay take me back. We stopped for more gas on the way. That did it. Whew! So, yeah, that was the third sucky thing of the day.

Dinner, tv, jammies. I came out here and practiced uke. I'm still a little bit heartsick but I'm better.

Carol and the boys

Had a great visit from the Powers that be. Good golly them boys is big! I kept thinking Jay was Dan! Their plane had some problems just before take-off so they ended up being about 4 hours late. Carol had called and told me she was bringing some steamed crabs. Freakin' yum! I went to the store and got salad fixin's and some salmon. We had a delicious dinner at around 10:30 last night. We finally went to bed at around 1am.

This morning I fixed crab and salmon omelettes. We're happily crabby. After puttering around here for a while Carol, the boys and I went up Mt. Rube. I wore my knee brace and didn't have too much trouble. The boys wanted to do a lot of exploring but we didn't have much time. They had an appointment in Newport at 3:30 so we had to get back down the mountain. It was a short but very nice visit. We laughed a lot. I'm hoping they can all come down for a SoCal vacation so we can spend more time together.

This afternoon I took Dad to the grocery store. I didn't need much so I let him go in on his own while I went to the dollar store. When I went back to Stater's his cart was filled with diabetic disaster food. I tried to get him to put some of it back but he got testy with me. So I just stayed close to him for the rest of the trip and talked him out of adding more bad stuff to his cart. Sheesh.

I'm done. Time for a hot bath, glass of wine and jammies.

I'm good for 10

Actually, it wasn't that bad. Drinking that vile laxative was the worst part. I was pretty well knocked out for the actual procedure. Things are pretty clean in there so I won't need another one for 10 years. Works for me.

Stacey picked me up and we went to lunch. We had a very good conversation. I love that girl. Now I'm home and after this quicky blogging I'm going to bed. Can't goof off too much, tho. Carol's coming! Gotta pull this house together.