More to whine about

My dishwasher died.

Soon I'm going to inherit a chunk of money. I'm using part of it to buy cars (used cars) for the girls and me. I want to invest some of it and the rest I'll put into the house and supplement my income until I finish school and can get a better job. When I say that I want to put it into the house I'm talking about fixing some issues like an ancient sprinkler system, spent landscaping, gutters, tree removal and poor yard drainage. I do not want to replace what's already working. That means that shit has to KEEP WORKING. I knew the water heater was a goner. I was prepared for that (mostly). Yesterday as the HVAC was humming along I thought, jeez, I hope that thing lasts a good, long time. But I think that system is fairly new. It should be ok for a while. So, ok, a dishwasher isn't a huge expense. I didn't like my dishwasher anyway.

Oh noooooo!!!

Wrigley's has discontinued cinnamon flavored Extra sugar-free gum!!! All other brands of cinnamon gum are CRAP! Whatever shall I do? I'm jonesing!

This happens all the time. It seems that the surest way for something to be taken off the market is for me to like it. They took away my cheese. They took away my favorite deodorant. Bartles and James took away their Tropical flavor and then brought it back but it ain't the same! They changed it!

What a cruel, cruel world.

Grill, baby, grill!

I bought a new Weber today. I haven't had a barbeque in over a year. I've been missing the flavor of singed meat. Tonight I grilled up some marinated London broil (an experiment), some chicken thighs and some salmon. Paige is doing Atkins and I'm trying to get back on my diet so it's good to have some cooked meats on hand so it's easy and quick to throw a meal together. We're set for the week.

Lindsay and Kyle are coming this weekend. Gonna do some ribs.

Happy Birthday, Kyle!!!

Sorry to get this on so late. Give yourself a wedgie and say it's from me!

Thanks for being the perfect guy for my girl.

Progress

I grouted another section this afternoon. I think this one turned out better. I kept it small this time. Charlie wanted to help. She's so funny. When I was doing the tiling she kept stealing tiles. Sometimes I'd be in another room and I'd hear a plate of tiles being turned over. I don't know why she found them so fascinating. I keep finding bits of tile and broken dishes all over the house.

Tonight I worked out in the garage. I now have a BIG pile of stuff to take to the thrift store. I'm really trying to make sure that more goes out than comes in. Every time I go out to the garage I look around and see if there's anything I can delete. Having so much crap is a big energy suck.

My digital camera has fritzed out on me. I'm going to buy a new one and start taking pictures of some of the big ticket items I want to get rid of. They'll either go on eBay or Craig's List. I still have all of Jim's music equipment. It's just gotta go. I found some Hammond parts that I'm going to ship off to the Hammond repair guy. I've sent him a lot of stuff like parts and manuals. I wouldn't want to try to sell it, I just want it out of here. There's also a bunch of stuff that Lindsay and Kyle maybe could use. The next time they're here we'll get that figured out.

I want to go through the Christmas bins and see what can be pared down. Halloween, too. I think I can be more ruthless with myself if I go through all that stuff mid-season. Halloween is still out of control. I'm pretty much done with it anyway. Last year I got almost no trick-or-treaters. They just don't want to come up the hill and no one up here decorates or gives out candy. I was the only one. And I'm NOT going to do the traveling Halloween show anymore. Way too much work.

I've been feeling a bit off the last few days. Emotionally, I mean. I'm kind of aimless and I keep feeling like whatever I'm doing isn't what I should be doing. Sometimes I like having the house to myself, but the rest of the time I really hate living alone. Paige is here only half the time and she never sleeps at home. I'm here alone every night. Nope. Don't like it.

Most of the time that doesn't bother me. Not much, anyway. It's just lately I've been in a funk about it. I guess I'm still adjusting. Maybe that's why I'm focused on getting rid of things.

And I'll be soooo glad when this semester is over. Tomorrow I really need to work on my last speech.

I don't wanna.

Alright, already!

Ok, new post! Sheesh.

Um, what's new? My mosaic project is almost done. I have a few more places to fill in with tiles and then I'll grout it. I'm very pleased with how it's turning out. It looks like a big, colorful necklace on the wall.

Today I'm going to Fullerton to look at a Scion xB. We'll see how that goes. I haven't walked into a car dealership in 15 years. I need to get into tough negotiator mode. Ugh!

I have one more speech to give. It's the persuasive speech. I'm going to talk about the importance of preparing for middle age so you can deal with your parents' old age. I have to find 8 references and only 2 of them can be from the internet. This class requires way too much work. I'll be very glad when it's over.

The demonstration speech went well. I gave a basic ukulele lesson. I had everyone sing The Lion Sleeps Tonight.

I brushed Bozzie yesterday. I pulled enough hair off of him to knit a sweater. Man, that dog has gotten hairy in the last couple years. He's like a Samoyed now. Or a polar bear. He's getting his annual shave soon.

That's about it. I'm still working 2 days a week. I'm sick of school, although the Pilates class is doing me a lot of good. I'll be glad when the car buying/selling project is done. After I'm done with the hallway I'm starting on the bathroom. The wallpaper in there is proving to be more stubborn than the paper in the hall. It's time to resort to chemicals. I've already purchased the paint. It's orange! Kind of like orange sherbet with a hint of tangerine. Some of you are recoiling in horror. Stay with me, it's going to be cute.

I need breakfast and the cat needs her antibiotics.

Ooh, this is good.

Well, my tiles didn't come today. I decided not to do anything more to the frame until they get here. I want the look to be consistent.

Since I'm not gluing tile to a frame tonight I figured I'd get some housework done. I got a good putter going but I had to keep stopping because I kept getting decorating ideas. It was great. I've been so stymied since moving here. I had some vague ideas for what I wanted to do but nothing was very exciting. Now it's all wild creation popping into my brain. I haven't had this happen in quite a while. I'm diggin' it.

Hoo boy, this house is going to be reeeeally colorful.

Uh-oh.

I think my ugly, gnarly tree in the front yard is leaning more. I think it might be falling over. I really need to have it taken down. The branch that hangs over the front walk is lower now. Jeff konked his head on it one night. Better make some phone calls.

I've started doing the mosaic on my chalkboard frame. It's looking pretty good so far. I'm not doing anything fancy, just broken bits stuck on. When it's all covered I'm going to use black grout to fill in the gaps. Today I bought some dishes at Goodwill to bust up and add some more color to the thing. I also ordered some Fiesta Ware bits from eBay. They're pieces of broken Fiesta dishes. I think it's pretty funny that you can buy bits of broken dishes on the internet. They should arrive tomorrow. I'll be set for the weekend.

I need to get this done. I'm doing my usual thing, which is when I'm immersed in a project the house goes to hell.

Subbing across the hall

It's almost as dead over here.

So! I found out that the cost of my meds ISN'T going up. The person who called me from the pharmacy didn't know what the hell she was talking about. The reason the cost went up is the number of pills was increased from 60 to 200, as per my request to my doc. I just hadn't received confirmation that the request was granted. Puh!

My hallway is looking pretty good. The walls and trim are painted and the chalkboard is being framed. Hoo boy, the green paint is bright. I might go back and tone it down. It looks exactly the way I want it during the day. At night with the lights turned on it's blindingly bright.

I'm going to cover the frame with mosaic. Right now I'm doing a small practice piece to experiment and get my chops up. I dragged out all my mosaic supplies to see if I'll have enough. I do, but not in the right colors. Gonna visit some thrift stores and see if I can find some dishes I can bust up.

I'm also toying with the idea of surrounding the chalkboard with a line of wine corks inside the frame. I'll use them like a cork board. We'll see. I'm also going to hang a shelf over the chalk board.

I found a gnarly wooden bowl at Ross. I'm going to slice it in half and affix the pieces to the wall to hold the chalk and eraser. In my mind's eye this whole thing looks pretty cute. But I'm still not sure about that paint color.

Slow day at work

Things always slow down after the semester starts but this slowdown is the slowest of the slow. Ain't nuthin' happenin' here. Really, I should save the taxpayers some dough and split. Not gonna. Sorry, taxpayers.

After work today I'm going to go to Lowe's and buy paint and supplies. It's so exciting! Tomorrow I'm painting the hall.

I've been surfing the web looking for cars. I've settled on the Scion xB, 2004-2006. I'd really like a green one but I'd be just as happy with silver. It looks like all the green ones in the area have manual transmissions and I want an automatic. So, silver it is. No big hurry, tho.

Paige got a 2008 Scion tC. We got a great deal on it because it has a salvage title. So far, no troubles. Salvage doesn't necessarily mean a lemon but you do take your chances. So, we gave Lindsay Dad's Toyota until she finds a car she likes. Her Taurus (death machine) is now sitting in my driveway. I'm thinking of donating it. I hate selling cars, especially a beater like this one.

I haven't blogged about the whole car thing. I'm going to use some of my inheritance to buy cars for all of us. I want the girls to have some decent cars, mainly for my own peace of mind. And I'm so tired of driving a minivan. I still need something big enough to haul stuff. The Scion xB is big enough, especially if I get a roof rack installed. Anyway, the cars will be the girl's gift from Grandpa.

I've got my fingers crossed. It looks like our lives are getting back to some kind of normalcy. Lindsay is settled in L.A. with a good job. Paige and I are going to school. I'm starting work on the house. If things stay like this for a while I'll be very happy. I got a call from Kaiser the other day telling me that the cost of my Wellbutrin is going to triple. I'm going to talk to my doc about it. I think I'm probably ready to give it up anyway.

So, we'll see. Ok, Universe, behave yourself for a while so we can all get a break from the drama.

Back online

Yay! I'm back. My modem had croaked. It was still under warranty so no charge for replacement.

Yesterday I spent most of the day peeling wallpaper. Lordy, Gammer loved wallpaper. It's in every single room of my house, three layers in some places. I decided to tackle the hallway since it's the smallest space and a pretty easy project. Getting down to the bare wall through that first layer of paper is proving to be a slow job. I think I'll just strip the one wall I've been working on and paint over the rest. I'm going to paint that wall with chalkboard paint so it needs to be clean.

This is the first real project that actually makes a change in this house. I think it's a good start. I need to get up some momentum on all those improvement projects I have planned. This feels good.

No internet

Whine! My DSL went out at home. I'm blogging from work. If you don't hear from me after you sent me that life or death email it's because I can't get to it. There's a DSL dude coming out tomorrow morning so hopefully it'll get resolved quickly.

Lindsay called this morning and said that someone busted out the back window of her car. Not the car she's had for a while. That one's on its last legs so its parked in my driveway. She has Dad's old Toyota. Dang, she's only had it for a few days AND she had it parked in the fenced-in parking garage at her apartment. There was nothing of value in that car but they decided to clean out the glove box anyway. They took the registration. What a pain in the ass.

My refrigerator started making that fix-me-or-I'm-going-to-explode noise again. A repairman came out and fixed it for $180. Not bad. It was weird dealing with him. He had a HEAVY accent. Not just an accent, he could barely speak english. I'm guessing he was Armenian. Oh man, it was hard to communicate. But he seemed to know what he was doing and now the fridge is cold and silent.

Jeez. This week I wanted to make some progress but it feel like I'm pedaling fast just to stay in one place.

Happy Easter

We had our little Easter celebration tonight because them kids ain't gonna be around on Sunday. We went to Joe's Sushi for Lindsay's birthday dinner. After that I went to the dollar store and got Easter trinkets. I bought some metal collanders and used them as baskets. Everyone got candy and these cool little wind-up toys I got at Borders. When I got home Lindsay opened her birthday gift (a plastic Buddha lamp) and I gave them their baskets. Whee! Happy Easter! Very low key. No eggs, no Peeps.

Then we watched It's Alive!, which I had recorded for Lindsay and Kyle. I saw this movie when it first came out and it's a total hoot. It's about this monster baby that goes around killing people and then attacks a milk truck. But the movie that got recorded wasn't that movie, even though it too was called It's Alive!. THIS movie sucked more than anything I've seen in my life. But we watched it anyway.

We've been shopping for cars. I'm using some of my inheritance to get us some decent used cars. It's a good thing because Lindsay's car is on its last legs. We found a car for Paige. It's a 2008 Scion tC. It has a salvage title but it seems to be in pretty good shape. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. Lindsay and I also want to get Scions. She wants an xA, which is a zippy little thing and I'm looking for a good deal on an xB, the big boxy kind. Then I have to work on selling the three old cars. I hate selling cars.

My informative speech is finished. It's called A Brief History of Tabasco Sauce. Spring break is next week so I can practice it a lot before I have to give it in class. My topic for the demonstration speech is How to Play the Ukulele. After that we're doing a persuasive speech and that's it. I don't know what my topic will be at this point. What do I feel strongly enough about to want to persuade people to care about it and agree with me? So far all I can think of is something like, The Importance of Preparing For Old Age. Really, I'd rather talk for eight minutes on why assholes with obnoxious sound systems in their cars should be shot, but somehow I don't think that would be popular with my audience of 18-20-year-olds. They wouldn't be too interested in the old age thing either.

Hoo boy, sushi is salty stuff. My weight is going to jump up for a few days.

Sorry for the gap

I shouldn't let things go so long between posts. So much gets away. I'll just have to fill in some stuff later. But basically what happened was...

Dad died, we had a funeral, lots of relatives, it was good, mostly.
I'm hating my speech class
I went back to work after being off for almost a month.
We're shopping for cars.

My mind isn't really on this right now. I just finished my speech, which is due on Wednesday. I'm tired of looking at this computer screen and my brain is fried. I'm going to go outside and plant some stuff.

Friday in Austin

We got up early on Friday morning and went to Barton Springs, which is where Dean takes her morning swim. It's a place where a natural spring wells up and they've enclosed the stream bed to make a giant swimming pool. There's a constant flow of clean water running through it so there's no need to use any chemicals. It's a wonderful place to swim but that water is COLD. I can barely handle it on a hot day. Dean swims pretty much year-round in the early morning. Not for Donita.

But the reason I went there was to serenade the swimmers. Kind of silly since the pool is huge and people pretty much had their heads under water but it was still pretty fun. KC was there so I mostly sang for her. We chatted with a few people. It was pleasant.

After that Dean went to work and KC and I went out for breakfast. Then I came home and crashed. I slept good and hard until 1:00. Then I got up and did some homework. Dean came home at 3:30.

A friend of Greg's got us in at one of the venues. Another free event for us. The show was Dent May and his Magnificent Ukulele. It was a fun show. I bought his cd but he was really better live. After that we went to The Belmont and had drinks and listened to the bands. Then we went back to Dean's and lounged on the patio until the wee hours.

My back still hurts. It must be a little better since I can tolerate the pain without taking a T3. I'm going to tough it out so I can give my liver a break. We're leaving soon to go to a poster show. Gonna try to score some free stuff. Then I'll try my hand at busking. I'll for sure be taking a pain pill before I do that.

Ooh, it's pretty breezy right now. Hmmm...

I'm in Texas.

And having a great time. All except for one little glitch. I put my back out today. Spasm city. The rest of my trip may suck a bit. I'm hoping it'll be better tomorrow.

Today was the Million Musician March that began at the Capitol steps and went down to City Hall. They really shouldn't have called it that. When we first got there it was more like the Several Musician March. Eventually it swelled to a Smattering of Musicians March. Still, it was pretty cool. Very much a hippie scene. Dean had brought Nancy along. Nancy is her little tri-colored Chihuahua. She figured it would be good for Nancy to have the experience and it would get her some exercise. Nancy was a good girl.

We hung around and listened to the bands. I played along with some of them while I was standing around in the audience. After a while we sat on the grass. Dean suggested that I use the bathroom before we left for the walk. When I stood up I must have turned funny because I really wrenched my back. Man, it hurt like a mo-fo. As I walked to the rest room it was pretty clear that there was no way I was going to be able to go on that march. Dean called Greg and he picked us up. When we got back to Dean's I took a Tylenol with codeine. Throw in a couple of screwdrivers and I'm doin' ok.

Tonight Dean and Greg fixed a nice dinner. KC and Dean's next-door neighbors came over. So, that's today.

I got in very late on Wednesday night. Dean and I stayed up until 4:00 just having a good cackle. I played some songs for her. Man, Dean is the best audience I've ever had. It was really fun playing for her. At one point she jumped up and hugged and smooched me real hard. That was pretty funny. Dean is not usually that demonstrative.

On Thursday Dean, KC and I went to an exhibit called Birth of the Cool. It's all mid-century modern stuff. I'll take one of each, please. The exhibit was actually kind of small. We explored the rest of the museum and then went to The Belmont for drinks and to listen to whatever band was playing. The Belmont was one of the free venues. At the museum they gave us a coupon for one free appetizer at The Belmont. We were diggin' the free.

The bands were ok but we were hungry and thirsty and The Belmont serves good food. We enjoyed the scallops and the mussels but the calamari was the best that any of us had ever had. We were there for about an hour and a half. Then we walked down the street a little and listened to another (very loud) band. Then we came home. Dean roasted some chickens and grilled some veggies. We had this reeeeaaally good coconut cake for dessert. I made the mistake of buying a whole cake. I think I had cake with every meal until it ran out. There was no resisting it.

That's all I'll write for now. This post is long. I'm having a very good time. This trip was the exact right thing to do.

Me sicko

Man, being sick is a drag. Even if it's just a wimpy cold it still sucks. Right now my chest is congested and my head is completely clogged. It's pissing me off because I don't have time for this. I'm leaving for Texas on Wednesday and when I get back I'll be joining the flurry of funeral preparations. Family members are flying in. Lots of them. All I want to do right now is clean my house and I can't do it. After about five minutes of picking up I get completely worn out. Man, I hope this gets better tomorrow.

I'm not going to go back to work until after it's all over. I'll take a bit of a financial hit but it's not like I was really raking it in to begin with. Missing a few days won't make that much difference and I can make it up in April.

What I wouldn't give for one clear nostril.

Bye, Dad

Dad died yesterday. The long struggle is over.

On Saturday afternoon David called and said Dad's blood pressure had dropped significantly and he was unresponsive. He thought Dad would probably die within 72 hours. Man. Everything kind of shifted and my thoughts were all over the place. I had been working on the garage. Since there was no need to rush right over there I went back to what I was doing. I was the only one in town. Stacey and her family were in Orange County at Audra's game and Drew and his family were in San Diego for Tori's volleyball tournament. Then a little while later David called back. Dad's blood pressure had dropped again and he felt cold. He probably wouldn't last the night. It was time to get over there.

When I saw Dad it was quite a shock. He was not sleeping peacefully like you see in the movies. He looked like a breathing corpse. His head was pulled back. His mouth was wide open and his lips were curled up over his teeth. His eyes were half open, staring but with no life behind them and sunk deep in their sockets. His breathing was labored. He had lost 25 pounds in the last week, which was no surprise. He had pretty much stopped eating.

I closed his eyes but they popped right back open. That was one of the things we did with him all night long. We'd close his eyes so they wouldn't dry out. I doubt if it helped and I don't think he was feeling it. I sat down and talked to him for a little while, then I sang him some songs. I tried to think of some hymns but none came to mind. I went to the dining room and found an Armed Forces Hymnal. I took it back to his room and sang hymn after hymn for him. (Heh! There's a sentence.) I was surprised I could actually sing through tears.

Pretty soon Stacey poked her head around the curtain. She was also taken aback by Dad's appearance. She was concerned that B might find it too disturbing. There was no time to make a decision about it because Brendan came right in and sat down next to his Poppa and took his hand. He talked to him and closed his eyes for him. What a great kid.

Stacey and Scotty and I talked about what we need to do and who need to be contacted. I called Dede and Mindy to get the phone numbers of some of the people from church. I called Pastor Hewes. He got there about 40 minutes later. He talked to all of us for a little while and then sat down and talked to Dad. If Dad had been aware (and who's to say he wasn't) he would have loved what Pastor was saying to him. He hit all the right notes. He spoke to Dad in a way that none of us could. I really appreciated his visit. Scotty and B left a little after that.

Some of Dad's nurses came in to say goodbye. They all talked about how Dad would speak to them in Spanish, which was a bit of a surprise to us. We knew that Dad knew a smattering of Spanish but I guess it was more than we thought. They really liked him. The activity director and her daughter came to see him. She was really quite broken up. She hugged him and kissed him and called him Patron. I told her that I appreciated that she had that kind of relationship with him.

Stacey called John D and told him about Dad. He came right over. John's been a good friend of Stacey's and our family ever since junior high. He was one of the farm kids and had worked many days there. He loved Dad. Pretty soon Dede showed up and the four of us had a real nice time sharing farm stories. It was really wonderful. John left at around 11:30.

And then it was us three girls and Dad. The attendants came in and changed him and got him into a gown. We sat with him and talked and laughed and waited. Stacey was having trouble with allergies and was pretty uncomfortable. We decied that Stacey and I would go back to her house and get a little sleep and then come back to relieve Dede. Dad's breathing was stable and consistent and his blood pressure had come up a bit. It seemed like he could last for several more hours. Stacey and I left.

When I got to Stacey's I went to sleep pretty much right away. I found out in the morning that Dede had called at 4:30 and said that Dad had passed. She said he relaxed and his breathing slowed down. She had set him up with an iPod earlier in the evening and was playing Uncle Buddy's recordings of hymns for him. Dad took a few more breaths and that was it. We think it's pretty cool that Buddy's voice was the last one Dad heard.

I'll write more about the day later. I have to get ready for school.

I met people.

Tonight I went downtown to play music with Terry from uke circle. He plays with friends on Thursdays during Art Walk. They always play on the front steps of their church. This is the same church where I did those two shows. When I got there Terry was the only one there playing. He had invited a bunch of people and I was the only one who showed up. No big deal. Terry knows enough songs to be able to handle a show on his own and the scene was very informal. He and I goofed around for about an hour and a half, singing and playing for pretty much no one. There's not much Art Walk action on that corner. I considered this to be good practice for my upcoming busking adventure.

When I left I didn't really feel like going home. I remembered that they have open mike at Coffee Depot on Thursdays so I decided to see what was hoppin'. At least I could get a cup of coffee. When I got there it was pretty much the same as it was when Jeff and Bill and I went. Everyone in that room were all pretty young. It didn't look all that interesting to me so I got some coffee and sat down on one of the comfy sofas in the front room. A group of older guys (my age) were playing guitars. I was really enjoying listening to them. Then a guy came over and sat down on the sofa next to me. I mean, he sat on a different sofa that was next to the one I was sitting on. Almost immediately we started having a nice chat about music. He told me his band is playing at the Plaza on Saturday and gave me a flyer. Then another guy sat down on the sofa across from us. He was tuning an unusual looking tenor ukulele. Guy #1 (name's Jeff) and I started talking about ukes. Guy #2 (name's Tom) went to play with the guitar guys. I went out to the car and got my uke and book bag. Jeff and I continued with our conversation. Pretty soon Tom and one of the guitar guys came over and joined us. It was just a really nice conversation with a bunch of musicians I had never met before. That's unusual for me. I'm not shy about talking to people but usually I don't have all that much to contribute. This was different. I even sang a couple songs with Tom.

I stayed there until almost 11:30. I'll probably go see Jeff's band on Saturday. He also told me about some stuff that's happening on Friday night that I'm thinking of going to. I felt really good when I left the Coffee Depot. I'm not that good at meeting people and I felt really comfortable with those guys. They seemed to like me too.

My first speech.

Yesterday we gave speeches in class. It was an introductory speech. We were supposed to bring in an object that represents who we are and tie it into the speech. I chose my Fire Monkey icon.

Last week we did an exercise where everyone shared what their greatest public speaking fear was. On the list were forgetting, sweating, fidgeting, rambling, giggling. My item was speaking on a subject that I'm too emotionally invested in. The solution for that is to pick a safe subject.

Most of my speech had to do with my creativity and my humor. I did mention a little bit about having a dad with Alzheimer's and the loss of my husband, but I made sure those points were only briefly touched on. I was safe.

Then this girl, who was three people ahead of me, got up and gave her speech about her best friend who was killed in a car accident a couple years ago. She went on and on about how she doesn't know who she is without this person, about how she sometimes thinks she can just pick up the phone and call her and how she longed for another hug. She was the SADDEST GIRL IN THE WORLD.

After she sat down I started to tear up. I can't just be a little moved by something and shed a few tears and then move on. I sat at my desk and wept. I'm thinking, oh shit. Stop. Just stop. No good. After the next guy finished speaking I left the room. I went to the bathroom and worked like mad on pulling myself together. I know I still looked like a wreck when I went back to the room. And then it was my turn.

I had to open the speech by acknowledging the fact that Sad Girl's speech got to me. I did ok until I got to the part where I mentioned Jim. My throat closed up but I managed to fight through it. I felt like such a dope because the rest of the speech was about my sense of humor and playing the uke and writing songs. People did laugh at the funny parts but damn it, that girl fucked me up! Oh well, I think it went over ok.

Next time I'm going to demand to go first.