Jeez, I don't know what happened. I was having a nice soak and stuff just started popping into my head. All the stuckness I've been feeling for the last few months kinda just blew away. I've thinking about fixing up the bathroom and trying to come with ideas on how to deal with the blicky gray tiles. Well, voila, I've got the whole thing figured out now.
I started thinking about the nature of stuckness and what might be the best way to deal with it. I'm going to explore this and see if I can come up with some kind of an est-ian "Stuckness Process". If I can develop it and refine it and make it work in my own life I can write a book about it and get filthy, stinking rich.
But see, that stuff contributes to my stuckness. I often get a great idea and then screw it up because I look too far ahead to the big payoff and then it looks unattainable so I give up, or at best, slow way down. So, (and I know this is nothing new or original) I need to first look at the things I need to do to earn my reward and then do them. I should always be looking toward the next particle that can be handled. Right foot, left foot, repeat.
I've also been thinking lately that I need to loosen up and make some of these ideas that come to me and not set them aside just because they don't fit into the process of moving the business forward. Somehow doing what I'm into at the time ends up benefitting me in other areas. It's interesting that Virginia has re-entered my life at this time. Virginia, you're kind of a catalyst and we haven't even gotten together yet!
Today while I was puttering about one of my thoughts was "life is good". It stopped me in my tracks. I haven't had THAT thought in a long time! But it's true. Dad has had some pretty good days lately. Maybe the circumin is kicking in. He's still foggy but he's so much more relaxed and his mood has been positive. The last several months have been soooo stressfull for all of us. Everything revolved around Dad's Alzheimer's. Now it seems like we're settiling into it and handling things better. He's really been very cooperative.
I've been exercising and enjoying it. It's the best stress reliever in the world (duh, big surprise). I feel very good and I'm losing weight. Keep going, keep going, keep going.
And I've got Jim. He's been amazing through it all. He steps in and handles so many things and makes life so much easier for me. I know he gets frustrated with Dad sometimes and he's extremely patient with him. I couldn't have asked for a better partner in this.
So yeah, life is good. I'll enjoy this and know that at some point it's going to get tough again but for now it's good to get a break.
3 comments:
*a catalyst* Bwhahahaha! And it all started up by talking about our cat Kiki. Very apropos.
I'm truly honored that our chance re-meeting has given (both of us) an opening to some good reflection.
I'm very much like you, seeing the big picture but not always putting one foot in front of the other to get there. Somehow I end up sitting on the side of the path, staring at my navel or something.
I suspect getting more exercise in your life has also helped clarify things for you. I know my yoga does that for me.
Speaking of exercise, what time do you normally do your Mt.Rubidoux walk? And, I'm curious, what are you going to do to the gray bathroom tiles?
Dean- Yeah, it's a good thing I passed along my well-adjustedness to my kids before I went nuts.
I've always liked exercise even though I wasn't always good about doing it. I've known about the benefits for a long time but that wasn't enough to get me to do it consistently. I've been here before with the diet and exercise thing. It's easy to be enthusiastic at the beginning. I hope it's different this time. I think I need it more!
I'm coming to see you soon! I'm starting to get excited about that. I'm not thinking of this as a go visit the relatives trip. This is a go see Dean and put up with the relatives for a few days trip.
Virginia- I usually take my walk at 9 in the morning. The Monday evening walk starts at 6. I think I'll start going more at night once the weather heats up.
I'm going to embrace the gray tiles and paint the walls a lighter shade of the same color. That way they won't stand out so much. The vanity and sink in that bathroom are the ugliest cheap-assed piece of crap that Dad ever found by the side of the road. I'm going to try to find a cabinet out in the barn that I can spiffy up and turn into a vanity. I'll get a basic, low priced sink and use some cement board for a counter top. Then I'll cover it with broken tile mosaic. I want to make a frame for the mirror and give it the same treatment. A new light fixture is a must. I'll probably get that at Ikea. I want to clean the mineral deposits off the window and use etching cream to make a cool pattern on the lower pane. Then I want to make a cute valance out of a piece of matchstick blind. I have an idea for weaving brightly colored embroidery floss through it, add some beads and paint and whatever.
This is all very good because that bathroom is soooo ugly and I haven't been able to come up with a single idea for it. Last night it all came to me in a flash. It's a bummer for us artistic types when the well of creativity runs dry. Just getting the idea made me happy!
Ideas all sound pretty fun to do. I saw Debbie Travis do a tub surround where she used marine type paint to paint tiles. But she did say that painting tiles only lasts about 4 yrs. So becoming one with the tile is probably a path of least resistance in the long run.
Hey, if you're going with a mosaic theme you should think about doing a glass glob window mosaic. Have you seen any of those? Really pretty and really easy.
I have a nasty old kitchen that in in desparate need of refurbishing. It shows every crack and fissure of it's age. It's original from 1936. Ok, the vinyl floor is probably not from '36 but it's old, it's butt-fucking ugly and it's gotta go.
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