I just spent the whole weekend helping Jeff move his mother into a new assisted living facility. It turned into a much bigger job than any of us anticipated. On the whole I thought it went very well. It was just a lot of work. And everything you're trying to do just seems to take twice as long as you think it should. It didn't help that the elevators at the old place seemed to be just as confused as the dotty old folks who were trying to use them. At one point I saw one of the workers had stuck a food cart in the elevator door so It couldn't close. She was holding it so she could gather trays from a few rooms. Hoo boy.
The old place was basically a warehouse for old people. The new (and much more expensive) place is sooo much nicer. It's a newer house in an upscale neighborhood and it houses only six guests. It's owned and run by a Romanian couple. I liked them instantly. The wife is the cook (we've been told that the food is very good) and main caregiver. I get the impression that she runs a tight ship. Her goal for Jean (Jeff's mom) is to get some of her mobility restored. At the old place she had an electric wheelchair. That chair now sits in the garage at Jean's old house. I really thought she'd be angry about losing the chair but today she didn't mention it once. Fingers crossed.
There's still a lot to do but at least we got most everything moved in. Today I spent the afternoon sorting through Jean's clothes, getting rid of things that don't fit or are way too stained. As I was doing that Stacey called to tell me that Drew has been hospitalized with severe abdominal pains. Aparently there's some kind of intestinal blockage. It was a struggle for me to keep from crying in front of Jean. Stacey said they're going to try some kind of minimally invasive procedure to disolve the blockage. I guess there's not much to worry about but you can't help but worry when you get that kind of news. I'll go see him tomorrow.
Well, that was a different kind of weekend. Quite the marathon but I was happy to help Jeff. Jean is his Stan. She can put him through the same kind of stress and grief that Dad sometimes heaps on me. Often on our Rubidoux walks Stan and Jean will be the main topics of conversation. We each have our own geriatric tyrant.
Damn. It's after 1:30 AM and I'm wide awake. I've got so much to do this week. The yard sale is this coming Saturday. I still need to inventory the keyboards and equipment. Still gotta pack a ton of books. Ok, I'm not going to sweat it. What will be, will be.
Cue Doris Day.
10 comments:
how's drew? it's kind of funny, not haha funny but the last time we moved the mil she'd just finished up being hospitalized for an intestinal blockage. she was in quite a bit of pain but once it passed a whole lot better. i hope dean is ok.
i really thank u for helping nuff and jean w/ the move. i know you presence was calming for the mil and the move probably went faster because you were there to help.
Intestinal blockage! Yikes! Did they catch it quick?
--leg
I called around this morning but I didn't really get any new news about Drew. I think they need to keep him knocked out for the procedure so if I go visit him I'll be sitting in a room with a sleeping dude. Stacey is going to the hospital this evening so I'll probably go then.
Yeah, I talked to Jean about her intestinal troubles. Could be a similar thing. He has Crohn's disease but I don't know if this is a flare-up.
Jean doesn't seem to pull the same bullshit with me that she does with you guys. Even though I've known her for years I haven't been part of the scene. I'm a fresh face to her. I'm going to try to keep it that way. If I can channel my mom (sweetness and light) and present myself as non-threatening and friendly maybe I can act as a buffer for Jeff and you and Bill. It seemed to work this weekend, anyway. I even talked with her a little about her mobility issues and she seemed to take it well.
She asked me to take her shopping for bras and stuff. I told her I'd be happy to but I'm concerned about being able to move her between car and wheelchair. She said, "Oh, it's so easy, it's really no problem." I told her that I saw how much trouble she was having when we brought her to Morning Glory and that I'd be AFRAID of her getting hurt if I couldn't manage it. That seemed to get her attention. I told her if she works on strengthening her legs it would be much easier for her to get out and do things. I saw the wall start to go up a little. I smiled at her and told her I know it's still possible for that to happen. Dominique is going to work with her on getting her mobility back. She's going to do stuff like MAKE Jean walk to the bathroom.
So, you never know.
lol, so far nobody has been able to get the MIL to do things like walk. not her doc, not me, not her kids, not the phy therapists. even when she had lots more mobility and strength.
cracks me up when she says something is no problem cuz it isn't for her. god love her but she doesn't quite see that it can be a problem for others.
i do hope dean will be ok, getting knocked out might be the best thing for now. I'd rather sleep than be all ouchie wah wah.
It's not Dean, it's my brother, Drew. They do look a lot alike. (Not really)
Well, who knows if Jean will get her ass in gear and start helping herself? I'll continue to let her know that I'd be happy to take her places but I won't do it unless she can move herself. She can't guilt me and she can't bully me so the ball's in her court.
Carrot and stick.
damn, i knew that!
hahah, yeah, that's always been my m.o. but really she'll just move on to the next person who might help her. she can't really guilt me, she and i have a totally different relationship than her own kids.
Thanks for the help. I hope Drew is doing well.
Mom's intestinal blockage, by the way, was due at least in part to her never moving.
I see.
Drew is doing better. They didn't have to do much. He managed to avoid having to go through the unpleasant procedure but he will be getting a colonoscopy (which I guess is pleasant by comparison) tomorrow. Then he can go home.
Stacey filled me in on all this. I didn't get to see him today. I ended up taking Paige's new bunny to the vet. "The Sunnymeade Animal Hospital, where the mentally ill go for pet care." Good gawd, it was awful. After we left there I felt like I was insane. We'll be looking for another rabbit expert in town.
it was also compounded by the fact that she doesn't drink enough fluids. rather didn't, am not sure if her fluid intake has really gotten better or if her diet now is better (likely, although not tastier).
glad drew doesn't have to do the procedure but hate that he has to do the colonoscopy. reminds me i have my own to get (and which i just wrote about).
my friend kim has a rabbit rescue woman who might be able to help with the rabbit doc thing but if i remember correctly the one she uses is in monrovia.
I'm going to try this vet in Woodcrest (or is it in Orangecrest?) Anyway, it's where Stacey takes he animals and she says they're really good.
Post a Comment