May 29, 1982

Today would have been our 25th wedding anniversary.

I don't have much else to say about it. We would have had a nice party. We might have taken a trip somewhere. There'd probably be some kind of silver trinket involved. Jim would have written a poem for me. He did that a lot.

But instead today I'll do some house work, make some phone calls and later I'll take a walk.

Happy Birthday to Dan!

Party at Ken's and Open Mike

It's hard to type. I must have done something to my wrist on Saturday. Strained it, maybe. Yesterday afternoon it started to ache. By evening it was hurting every time I turned it a certain way. It hurts when I try to pick something up with my right hand. Can't turn a door knob with it. I found Jim's old wrist brace and slept with it on last night. Today it still hurts. Anyway...

Yesterday we went to a party at Ken and Sherri's. Lots of people showed up, the usual crowd of family and friends. Such nice people. We had a barbeque and some people swam. The water's still too cold for me. Strange to go to a party at Ken's without Jim.

Afterward I came home, freshened up, cleaned out the car and went to pick up Jeff and Bill to go to open mike in Claremont. When I'm with the two of them I usually don't say much. I just enjoy listening to them knock it around. We went to dinner at a snootyish restaurant. I had this Carribbean combo that was mostly kind of boring. We weren't planning to perform so we could take our time having dinner. A nice change.

A much smaller crowd last night, probably because of the holiday weekend. It was the usual kind of open mike. Some people were very good, some pretty much sucked. At the break I was outside chatting with Bill and Mac. Mac asked me if I was going to perform. He requested that I sing Bosom. Mac is always one of the best performers at open mike so for him to compliment my song was a great big ego feed. There was still one slot left in the second half so I signed up.

The last time I sang it was at the folk festival. I got so nervous I could barely sing it. I don't know why that's happening to me lately. I think it might be because I no longer have Jim's solid keyboard playing to accompany me. I have to get used to performing on my own. Last night I could feel myself getting jumpy as the second half started. Luckily, I remembered that I had some of my Propranolol pills with me. I take it when I need to shut off my tremors and since it's a beta-blocker it's also good for stage fright. By the time it was my turn to perform the jumpiness had subsided. I didn't have any problem singing and the audience enjoyed it. Whew.

After open mike I took the guys back to Bill's. Since it was still early I thought it would be nice to stop in and visit with Virginia. Jeff decided to stay for a while so we all hung out in the living room playing ukes and visiting with Virginia and Zoe. What a nice way to end the evening.

Today I'm goofing off and babying my sore wrist. I'm going to give it a couple days to see if it gets better. If not, I'll go to the doctor. Gotta walk later. Pay bills. Nap.

Uncertainty

I haven't been here in a while. Yes, there's been restless uncertainty along with all those other emotions that are all balled up with grief, but what I'm feeling tonight is that cave-hollow ache that's been with me for four years. Ever since Jim lost his job and we sold our house and moved back to Riverside. Before Jim died it was the worst thing I wrestled with. I got so tired of it. There were so many nights where I sat alone out in the front yard just asking and asking and getting no answers. And then Jim died and everything changed. I had too many new things to deal with. Suddenly I was presented with a very long list of to-dos and I've been marking them off ever since. Uncertainty was put on hold.

But tonight it's crept back in and it still feels the same. That heavy, hollow ache. Where is this going? There's a story that's been writing itself ever since I was a teenager that has now taken off in a new direction. What if it doesn't turn out?

Before Jim lost his job I never felt this way. Yes, everyone knows life is uncertain but we don't (well, at least I didn't) go around feeling it and being reminded of it all the time. We just live our lives and make plans and set goals and try to achieve them. Or we don't. Whatever. I just always went humming along and never felt that uncertainty was a big factor in my life. It was no big deal.

This uncertainty feels the same but it's coming from a different place. Before it was all about Jim and the loss of his job and his inability to get over that loss. I wanted to give him time to heal but that healing never seemed to come. The longer it went on the worse I felt. I became more and more uncertain that we'd ever be able to get our lives back on track. Things did get a little better at the end but it was too late.

So, now what? Since Jim died my life seems to be about a series of upcoming events. I had/have this list of things I needed/need to do before I can start building this new life. I went to Texas, I put Jim's keyboards up for sale, I had the first yard sale. Next, we're going to Santa Rosa for Chelsey's wedding, then we're going to Santa Rosa for a longer visit and the Jim party for our friends up there. For a while now I've had this idea that when I get back from the second Santa Rosa trip it will be time to start the new life. I'll be looking for a job. I'll be making plans for where we're going to live after we leave here. But it's just an idea. It's not like I have any real control over what will happen. And even if I did I might really screw it up.

And that's a big part of my problem. I haven't been an adult on my own since I was in my early twenties. Back then it was all ahead of me and I had little to lose. I made so many mistakes. Some of them were big ones that really set me back and took years to recover from.

Another thing that's weird for me is the whole subject of relationships. I was with Jim for so long that all of my friends were his friends too. We were with other people as a couple. In their eyes am I still Jim's wife? Will it always be that way? I am single now. It's a strange thing for me to know that if someone were to ask me if I'm married my answer would be no.

It's all so weird. So foreign.

Ok, writing this has helped me to feel better. That awful feeling in my chest has gone away. Uncertainty has released its grip for now.

Man, that was kind of exhausting.

Yard sale

Whew! I'm glad that's done!

It was mostly uneventful and mostly unsuccessful. I made about $130. Not one of Jim's computer books sold and hardly any of the paperbacks. Sold lots of the electronics trinkets, lots of tools. Got rid of the very heavy table saw.

Dad drove down at around 1:30. He started ragging on me about my prices. I couldn't get him to understand that I really don't care how much I get for this junk. It's costing me way more than that just to have it in my life. He will NEVER understand that concept. Mr. Big-Barns-Full-Of-Shit will never understand that an object is only worth what someone is willing to pay for it. He doesn't understand that if I don't let it go I'll only have to move it to a new house. That makes this stuff costly. Some of the things I sold today have been through three moves.

He asked me if I'd done one of these sales before. I could see where he was going with this. He asked a bunch of questions that weren't really questions, They were his way of telling me he thinks I'm too stupid to live. So, ok, I'm not raking in the bucks on my crap. I don't care. I think that filling his house, his barns, his barnyard, the area that was supposed to become a duck pond, filling his whole fucking farm with crap makes HIM too stupid to live. All that space he could have used to make his business more successful, space that could have been rented out to other businesses, space that could have been kept more beautiful so that his family would have enjoyed spending time there (which is what he would have loved), all that space has been filled with absolute garbage.

And that happened BEFORE Alzheimer's.

The kids and I moved everything into the sales shed. I'm going to have the next sale in September. That's when I'll get rid of the Halloween stuff and some furniture.

And hey, it's still early! I can go play!

Septic blues

Every once in a while our septic goes kablooey. This morning it erupted. Jim and I would always spend a couple hours trying to snake it out which was always a big, stinky drag. I'm just not willing to do that on my own and I certainly WON'T do it with Dad. First I called a plumber. He suggested we have it tank pumped out before trying to mess with the plumbing. I called Royal Flush. While they were here Dad came over to "help". The guys dug down and found that the tank had been covered with a big sheet of steel that was wedged under a pipe, possibly the water main. Dad for some reason thought the guy was trying to pull a fast one. He said the guy was working me, like I was some dumb rube who was eager to hand over hundreds of dollars so the guy could....what? All he said was the steel is under the pipe and once they get it open they might not be able to close it. I couldn't see how that was ripping us off. But Dad yelled at me and said, "You've never done business with these guys! I HAVE!"

I called Drew. He did his best to keep Dad on the phone but of course that works for only so long.

He was getting this way the other day when the AT&T guys were here. He always thinks people are out to deal him a raw one. Dad, please shut up and go home.

When they finished up Dad stood on my front porch and watched them. He said he wanted to make sure they left without...what? What were they going to steal? Then he started going off about "these guys" and blah, blah, blah. I told him I was done and that I didn't want to hear any more. He kept right on going and I kept saying, "I'm done, I'm done, I'm done." as I'm slowly shutting the door in his face. He stuck his hand in the door so I couldn't shut it. Man, he can be such a total bastard. I said, "I'm DONE!!!!" He removed his hand and finally went home. Then he called 2 minutes later and told me he wants a copy of the receipt. Yeah, whatever.

I took a Xanax and went to bed. Later I got up and took a couple truckloads of yard sale stuff down to the sales shed. I'll work on it some more tomorrow. Then I went to meet Jeff at Mt. Rubidoux for a walk. I was sitting in my car balancing my checkbook when he walked up. His head was completely shaved, like BALD!!!! I actually jumped and gasped! He had done it as part of a cancer fundraiser at his school. They had raised a bunch of money so the kids got to shave his head. Oh my god. He actually doesn't look bad bald. But no, no, no. Maybe when he's 70 he can go all Kojak but right now he still has a nice head of hair. He said this is a one-time thing.

Once I got over the initial shock I laughed my ass off.

Tomorrow, lunch with Virginia. Then it's the final push for the yard sale. Oh yeah, the bees are back in the pepper tree outside the sales shed. Gotta deal with that, too.

Woo-hoo, DVR!

We got the new Uverse system installed today. It took three guys all day to set us up with cable tv, DSL and getting our messed up phone lines fixed. For some reason our line was entangled with Dad's. It was crossed up in their system, too. This new system offers more channels and it's cheaper than what I was paying for satellite tv and DSL. And it has DVR. Now I won't have to stay up late to watch Craig Ferguson. I can record The Dog Whisperer and The Office. We get both the west coast and east coast feeds on a lot of the channels. No IFC, tho. I guess I can live without that.

Wheeee, teeee-veeee!

Tomorrow the keyboard and Hammond parts guys come. After they're gone I'll have the rest of the day plus Thursday and Friday to pull the yard sale together. Gotta remember to place some ads and go to the bank for change. I'm going to get some white plastic tablecloths and some red duct tape at the dollar store to make huge banners for the fence (thank you Freeway Blogger for that idea).

Today was a good day. Got some housework done, got new tv, had a real nice walk.

Moving Mama

I just spent the whole weekend helping Jeff move his mother into a new assisted living facility. It turned into a much bigger job than any of us anticipated. On the whole I thought it went very well. It was just a lot of work. And everything you're trying to do just seems to take twice as long as you think it should. It didn't help that the elevators at the old place seemed to be just as confused as the dotty old folks who were trying to use them. At one point I saw one of the workers had stuck a food cart in the elevator door so It couldn't close. She was holding it so she could gather trays from a few rooms. Hoo boy.

The old place was basically a warehouse for old people. The new (and much more expensive) place is sooo much nicer. It's a newer house in an upscale neighborhood and it houses only six guests. It's owned and run by a Romanian couple. I liked them instantly. The wife is the cook (we've been told that the food is very good) and main caregiver. I get the impression that she runs a tight ship. Her goal for Jean (Jeff's mom) is to get some of her mobility restored. At the old place she had an electric wheelchair. That chair now sits in the garage at Jean's old house. I really thought she'd be angry about losing the chair but today she didn't mention it once. Fingers crossed.

There's still a lot to do but at least we got most everything moved in. Today I spent the afternoon sorting through Jean's clothes, getting rid of things that don't fit or are way too stained. As I was doing that Stacey called to tell me that Drew has been hospitalized with severe abdominal pains. Aparently there's some kind of intestinal blockage. It was a struggle for me to keep from crying in front of Jean. Stacey said they're going to try some kind of minimally invasive procedure to disolve the blockage. I guess there's not much to worry about but you can't help but worry when you get that kind of news. I'll go see him tomorrow.

Well, that was a different kind of weekend. Quite the marathon but I was happy to help Jeff. Jean is his Stan. She can put him through the same kind of stress and grief that Dad sometimes heaps on me. Often on our Rubidoux walks Stan and Jean will be the main topics of conversation. We each have our own geriatric tyrant.

Damn. It's after 1:30 AM and I'm wide awake. I've got so much to do this week. The yard sale is this coming Saturday. I still need to inventory the keyboards and equipment. Still gotta pack a ton of books. Ok, I'm not going to sweat it. What will be, will be.

Cue Doris Day.

Stop the damn rollercoaster

I want to get off.

Gee, I was doing so well for a couple of days. I've been going along, trying to find my way to happiness but I was reminded last night that it's not just about me. I have a couple of girls who are going through the same thing. They won't always share what's going on and just because things look ok on the outside doesn't mean there's not real trouble brewing on the inside. That's all I'm going to say about that here. I'm only mentioning it because it's knocked me off track and I'm back to being on the verge of tears all fucking day long. It's ok, it just means there's still work to do.

I wrote to the admin of the Hammond organ group that Jim used to post to. I told her about the two organs and the Hammond parts and asked if there was someone in the southern California area who would be interested in them. She gave me two names. One is a technician who would be interested in the parts and one who is a dealer who would be interested in the organs. I've contacted both of them. The parts guy is coming next week.

The organ guy is a dealer in San Diego. He's an eBay power seller. I told him about Jim's other keyboards and he got very interested. He asked me how I was planning to sell them and I told him about the upcoming yard sale. He really thinks it's a bad idea to sell them that way. I told him I didn't want to sell them on eBay because I didn't want to deal with the shipping and the hassles that can come when a buyer backs out. He said he deals with this stuff all the time and he's also handled liquidating estates for people.

I know what some of you are thinking. Red flag, right? But I trust him because the Hamtech people gave me his name. I really don't think they would steer me wrong. I'm pretty sure Jim would approve of my handling it this way. And I've met the top two guys in the Hamtech group. They were Jim's friends. I feel ok about this. And yes, I'll check his ID.

So, this week I'm going to take a better inventory of the instruments and other equipment. He'll bring up a trailer and take everything and put it all on eBay. He'll handle all the selling and shipping and we'll agree on a percentage for his cut.

Up and down, up and down, white knuckles, screaming...

This afternoon Paige called me and said she and her friends were in a pet shop and she's found a bunny she wants to buy. She's been wanting to get a buddy for her bun so I said ok. I joked with Lindsay that Paige knows I can't say no to her right now. I know that's not really true but the timing made me laugh. So, now we have another (female, I hope) rabbit. After the yard sale I'm going to build an enclosure for the two of them in the planting bed outside Paige's window. Oh my. Two dogs, four cats (including Kyle's) and now two rabbits. I'm so glad I got rid of the damn fish.

And then there's that old guy next door...

Getting ready for the yard sale

I'm starting to load up the truck with books and stuff, things I won't fret about if they get stolen. I'm going to take them down to the sales shed and store them in there until the sale. I want to take things early so I'm not stressed the day before the sale. I've been looking up prices for the books, marking them and putting them in boxes. So far, so good. I've found some that are worth enough to hold onto for an eBay sale. I'll deal with those later.

Today I did some work on the workshop area. There's a LOT of electronics stuff. Just little bits of dinky things mostly but there are a few larger items. I'm putting everything into an electronics grab bag, really a box, and marking it $50. There's at least one item in there that retails for $50 so I'm sure the buyer won't be disappointed. It's all weird stuff that normal people wouldn't have the slightest clue what to do with but I'm hoping to draw some nerds to the sale. The whole time I was loading up that box I kept thinking about what Jim would say. I also think about that when I'm looking up the prices on his keyboards and gear. This is all so weird. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't like it but what the hell am I supposed to do?

I went through a lot of the tools. When I move I'm only taking things that I know how to use. I want my garage arsenal to be lean and mean without a lot of junky bits. The junky bits make me crazy. And I don't need three hack saws.

Today was productive. I'm not going to sell the Halloween stuff at this sale. I'm doing another one in September so that will be a good time for selling Halloween. I'm also starting to think I should have a sale in August. We'll see how this one goes.

Man, it's going to feel soooo good to get rid of this stuff. Everywhere I look there's clutter. It seems like half of it is stuff I don't know how to use, or even what it is!

Hey, you muthas

Happy Mutha's Day!

Nothing special planned here. It's not like I can chow down on a big breakfast. The kids had asked me what I wanted for Mother's Day and I told them nothing. And I meant it. All I want is for someone to take the trash cans down to the street. I'm a cheap date.

I'm planning to spend the day reading and puttering around the house. I might do some trailer work. Gotta get ready for the yard sale in 2 weeks.

Have a lovely day, everyone!

Mmmm, sleeping with plastic

Got a mouth guard yesterday. Ugh! Twenty dollars for the cheapest model.

Ok, first you take it out of the package. It's huge! Then you put it in your mouth and check the fit. Then you gag horribly and take it out of your mouth. Then you walk around the house for 15 minutes trying to find something that'll trim it down to size (scissors will do). Then you cut a little off and stick it back in your mouth. You gag again. Then you cut off some more and stick it back in your mouth. Then gag. Repeat this process until you've chopped off almost all of the sides (about ten bucks worth of plastic). Then when you've found the magic non-gagging size bite down on it until your teeth fit into the groove and you can make a light impression. Gag again. Remove torture device.

Boil it in water for 30 seconds. Take it out and dip it in cold water for one second (except you're afraid you'll burn your mouth so you dip it for two seconds). Then, fighting the gag reflex, you put the soft, mishapen blob of plastic in your mouth, try to find the groove for your teeth, bite down and shape it around your teeth and gums. Try not to gag. Really, don't gag. Don't gag. Don't gaaAAAAAGGGGHHHHCCCCHHHH@$#&*!!!!!! Expel vile object.

Dip it in cold water for 30 seconds to set. Peel off support strip. Congratulations! You have just made your own mouth guard that DOESN'T fit your mouth! Now insert it and go to bed. Lay awake for hours drooling onto your pillow. Eventually fall asleep and dream about sucking on a giant piece of Costco plastic packaging.

Awake refreshed.

WTF????

I came home after my Rube walk and fixed myself a lovely salad with salmon. When I took the first bite my jaw popped so hard I thought I had bitten down on a rock. With every bite it popped and cracked like I had rocks the size of marbles stuck in my jaw. DAMMIT!!!! This is awful! I yawned a little while ago and it went pop, pop, POP.

It's never done this before! This was totally out of the blue. And it's not just a little pop. It really feels like my bones are breaking to bits when I open and close my mouth. Right now I'm afraid to even speak. The left side of my jaw hurts.

Ok, now I'm pissed.

Feeling pretty good.

Maybe it's the low carb diet, maybe it's all that exercise I'm getting lately. I just feel good. Physically and emotionally. My only complaints are my crunchy neck, my spasmy back and my poppy knee. Not too pleased about that stuff. But my energy is good and today...

I
feel
happy.

A while back Dede found the home movies of our wedding. She put them on a dvd for me and today I watched it for the first time. Really, the first time. The picture and sound quality are poor but it's still awesomely cool to watch. I didn't get weepy at all. I just enjoyed it.

Got some housework done, finished reading the 5th Harry Potter book and I had a great walk up Mt. Rubidoux. I came home and cooked up a load of chicken and salmon so I've got some easy-to-grab protein for the next several days.

Tra-la-la!

Yeah, I know, it's all small stuff. But it's such a relief to not feel like I'm constantly on the verge of tears. I know this won't last. There's still much more "grief work" to do. I do know that. But today I felt like my old self, like the Donita who is just naturally happy. I'm glad she still exists!

Folk Fest and Julia Sweeney

Friday Virginia and I went to lunch together. She's taking a few weeks off work while her elbow heals from surgery. We had such a nice time together. We talked about the people in our lives. Talked about Jim a lot. Of course I got weepy. I hate doing that in public but what am I going to do, hide myself away? I love talking to her. She often brings up things I never would have thought of.

Saturday morning Jeff picked me up and we went to the Claremont Folk Festival. This year it was held at an elementary school, a really sweet, friendly place. Jeff was helping out with the morning shift. I took off on my own and did a little shopping at the booths. Then I went to a penny whistle workshop. Not very interesting but how far can they get with a room full of beginners (me included). After that I had lunch with the three Odien boys. Then we went to the open mike in the auditorium.

It seemed like most of the time there were only about 6 people in the audience for open mike. They didn't seem too worried about sticking to a schedule. The Canaries performed a few songs. They weren't very well prepared and they ended their fade-out songs by backing away from the mikes, which was pretty damn funny, Still, they were very entertaining. They ended their set with I Shall Be Released. Ah, those Odien voices! They are some of the best singers I know.

They all encouraged me to get up and sing something. I hadn't really planned to perform but since there were only a few people there and most of them were my friends I decided to get up there and sing the Bosom song. I was surprised at how nervous I was! This has been happening to me lately. I get so shaky that I can barely sing. I'm starting to get a little concerned about that. The audience enjoyed Bosom. I sang two more songs, Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow and Tin Foil Hat. Later that afternoon a guy told me how much he enjoyed Bosom. Jeez, I hope I can write another song someday!

Later I took a Contra Dancing class. Loved it! Contra Dancing is like square dancing in that they use a caller but there are no squares. Just about any number of couples can participate. It was really fun. You can't help but smile when you're Contra Dancing. And I got my workout for the day.

After that I went to find Jeff. I poked my head into the uke workshop and found him there. Sitting in front was John Rockwell and this awesomely dressed little old man. Jeff said he was Bill Tapia, a uke legend. How cool! John had gotten Bill Tapia to do his workshop with him! You can read about it on Jeff's blog. I couldn't stay for the whole thing because Lindsay and Kyle were coming to pick me up to take me to the next big event of the day.

We went to watch the filming of Julia Sweeney's new movie, Letting Go Of God. If you've seen God Said Ha! it's pretty much the same format; Julia, alone on stage, telling her story. This time she's talking about her struggle examining her belief in God. At one of the shows she did with Jill Sobule we bought the Letting Go Of God cd and Julia signed it for Jim. He was a big fan of hers. Near the end of his life he was also exploring that same question and had pretty much come to the same conclusion.

We got there early enough to get great seats. I was front row center, about six feet from Julia. For most of the show I was having a great time. She's very funny. But then she got to the part of the show where she was talking about letting go of her belief in God meant she had to also let go of her belief in the afterlife. She had to accept that those loved ones who had died were gone, really gone forever. Her brother, who had died of cancer, her father, one of her dear friends. I started thinking about Jim and the idea that no part of him existed anymore. That he is truly gone. The tears started to flow. And flow. And FLOW!

So, there I am, in the front row, crying out of control, with Julia Sweeney trying to film her movie and give a good performance. Most of the time she was looking out over the audience and performing to the cameras but she couldn't have missed the meltdown that was happening right in front of her. And I couldn't get up and leave the room because they would have had to stop filming and find someone to replace me in the front row. That would have created a continuity problem. Yes, they were also filming the audience. Now, I'm so afraid that when this movie comes out they'll use footage of me, weeping like a crazy person, to really bring home a particularly touching moment. Shit.

When it was all over I got out of there pretty fast. I went into the restroom and looked at myself in the mirror. Oh GAWD! My eyes looked like they had been bathed in lemon juice and stabbed with an ice pick. They were red and Rocky Balboa puffy. I reeeeaaally hope I don't end up in this movie.

This morning I wrote to Julia on her blog to apologize and explain why I was so out of control. Who knows if she'll actually get the message. Now, the only reason I wrote about this here is to talk about what happened. I don't want anyone telling me that Jim is still with me or he's looking down upon me from on high because I don't believe that that's the truth. And really, no one, no matter what their beliefs, can really know for sure so don't try to comfort me with that. It wouldn't make me any less sad to think he's floating around somewhere. He's gone. I have my memories of our 34 years together and I have his music. His lives on in his daughters who are a source of joy and comfort for me. I'm sad that he's gone but I'm also grateful for the time we had together. Most people don't have what we had. I'm a very lucky woman. Holding everything in this way helps me to look to the future with excitement, anticipation and happiness. And yes, even a little fear. But that's life.

And life is what I have.

More work in the trailer.

I sorted through more stuff today. Moved a lot out to the apartment. Now I have two pages of music equipment inventory. I looked it all up on the web to get the values. Quite a range there.

I'm also going through my stuff in the trailer. I find that I'm ready to let go of a whole lot. That's a good feeling. I'm starting at the back of the trailer, moving sale items forward and moving the stuff to keep to the back. It feels good to see some progress already.

Right now I'm thinking that I'll put ads in the Riverside, San Bernardino and LA papers for the yard sale. Also, Craig's List. I need to figure out a way to hook up all the keyboards and other equipment so people can demo it and make sure it's all working. I'm sure it is. Jim used this stuff.

Bleah. My neck really hurts. It's stiff and crunchy. Damned arthritis. This whole job would be much easier if it weren't for that.

I'm going for a walk.

First of May

"Maybe I'll see you in flagrante delicto..." Nah, probably not. I wonder how many Jonathan Coulton fans are running around singing that song today.

I'm back! Great visit with Dean! Yesterday I walked around Austin (ALL of Austin, I think). It was stormy and rainy but it was also warm so I had no problem being outside. After Dean got off work we went for some deelish Mexican fish soup (tasted like Nana's gumbo) and then she took me to the airport. The flight was blessedly uneventful except for the end. After we landed we had to wait for a truck to pull the plane to the gate. A hundred adults with full bladders and two screaming babies had to wait for about 20 minutes on a plane that was just 30 feet from the gate. Uncomfortable.

Lindsay and Kyle picked me up. It's always so nice to get home. Today I'm goofing off. Tomorrow I'm diving in and getting ready for our big yard sale at the end of this month.

But right now I'm going to make a pot of tea.