A rough day

Jeez, I want to blog about the party and getting Lindsay's car fixed but stuff keeps happening. Today sucked.

I got up and started making phone calls. First to Paypal to try to get that feature shut down on the Rancho Curioso website. The password thing that Dan showed me doesn't seem to work anymore. Now it wants a password for the passwords. I couldn't get into the guts of the website. I think Dan and Kyle are amazed at how much I don't know about computers. I talked to one of the supervisors at Paypal and he told they were going to send me an e-mail with instructions on how to disable it. But to do that you still have to gain access. Anyway, I can set that aside for another day.

Then I called the insurance lady at the hospital. I've got most of the funds to pay Jim's bill. She's going to give me one more day to come up with the rest.

I went to Stacey's to pick up flowers and party stuff. Afterward I went to the bank to deposit some checks and move money around. They got a little nervous about the biggest one. They needed to verify the existance of the writer. Sheesh. They told me to come back after they looked into it. I left to go pick up Paige from school.

I got there about 15 minutes early. Cars were crowded in like they usually are that time of day. I got in line. A few minutes later this woman drove in behind me. After a little while she got out of her car and said, "You need to move, I want to leave." Imagine Miss Swan on Mad TV. I tried to go between the cars that were ahead of my but the angle was wrong and I couldn't get through. I got out and went to her car and told her I couldn't get through. She said, "No, you can. You drive through." I again told her it was too tight. I told her to back out into the empty space behind her and turn around and go out the other way. She refused. "No! You go through. You shouldn't block the driveway." I said, "Ok, you back up into the empty space and I'll back out and go the other way." "No! You go!"

What the hell was her fucking problem? Well, I basically unloaded at her. I told her, "Look! My husband died last week! I don't need this shit!" She said, "I don't care about your husband! I ask you nicely to move!" I again told her I couldn't and if she wanted to leave she could back out into the empty space behind her. Just then a big truck pulled in behind her. She got out of her car and we stood there shouting at each other. After a little bit I turned and got back in my car. I looked in my rearview mirror and saw her on the phone. Was she calling the cops on me? "Ok, I tell you evwee ting."

Pretty soon school security showed up. First they went to her car. I could see her gesturing wildly. Then one of the guys came to my car. I told him what had happened. He was sympathetic and tried to help me move forward. But immediately it was obvious I would not be able to get through the other cars. The guy walked up 4 cars on both sides of the driveway and asked everyone to pull forward. Finally I was able to get through.

I watched in my rearview mirror as she drove forward and pulled over to park! She never wanted to leave! She just wanted to sit someplace else while she waited for her kid! BITCH!!!!!!!

I had to drive out to the street and make a u-turn and go back and sit through the light and pull back into the parking lot and circle around until I could get to Paige. When I drove out Miss Swan was still sitting there. Man, what a shitty, little person.

When Paige and I got home Rory told me the bank had called. I went back there to deposit the check. When I was there the first time I had them take everything out of the savings account and put it into the checking account. After I deposited the last check the teller asked me if anyone had talked to me about my account. She said my savings account had gone below a thousand dollars so they'd probably charge me five dollars next month. She got all concerned about a measly five bucks. I told her I had transferred everything over earlier because these were emergency funds. She said, "Well, when things calm down you and James can come in and talk about your accounts so they don't keep charging you that five dollars." I said, "I'm dealing with coming up with $30,000! I'm not going to worry about 5 bucks right now. James IS the emergency. He died last week." Tears were welling up. Jesus, just let me out of there!

Later I thought about what that must have looked like to the other customers. Middle-aged woman runs crying from the bank. You must pay the rent! I can't pay the rent!

Ugh! I came home. I knew things would get better soon because I was going to go walk the Rube. I thought man, I need to understand that days like this are going to be a way of life for a while. I need to find a way to navigate through without having it drive me to inaction. It has to be ok to bump into those walls. This part will be over eventually.

Walking was good. Talking to Jeff is good. Hot bath, good. Red wine, good. Daily Show, good.

Someday I'll talk about that party.