News not good

Sorry to have to tell you this after being so hopeful yesterday. As of this morning it looks like Jim isn't going to make it.

Part of Jim's brain is being pushed over the midline. The first CAT scan showed it was pushed over 11 millimeters. The neurologist told me if it's pushed to 12 or 13 millimeters the outcome isn't good. The second CAT scan showed it's been pushed 15 millimeters. He said Jim isn't technically brain dead but he's moving in that direction. He doesn't respond to the pain test. He doesn't respond to anything. His eyes are more dilated and he's not doing any breathing on his own. I listened and began to feel dead inside.

I called the family. Everyone got here as fast as they could. I had dropped Paige off at school and planned to pick her up at 2:45 and give her the news. One of the doctors told me I shouldn't wait, that she should get to the hospital soon. I had Lindsay pick her up. As the day went on everyone who could be there showed up to see Jim. It was really beautiful. He has so many people who love him. I told the nurse that there would probably be a lot of people coming and could she please just let them all in. She said she had already told security and there would be no hassles about how many people we could have in Jim's room.

A very sad day but it was a day filled with love. We cried and held each other.

(Ok, now I've just had two very emotional phone calls and my thinking is out of whack. I can't remember details accurately.)

I wish I could name everyone who showed up today. I'll try but I might miss someone.

Ken and Sherri, Amber, Robin and Jessica, Jim and Carol Hoover, Tim, John, Stacey, Scotty, Drew, Mindy, Dad, Pop, Virginia, the girls, Kyle and Rory. Tonight Tim and Jan, Kurt and Lynn, Tony and Ken. I think that's it. If I missed someone please let me know.

I met with Maria, the insurance person, this afternoon. She told me that Jim's insurance wouldn't even begin to cover the costs of his ER and hospital bills. She said If we pay it all with cash we can get a 50% discount but we'd need to commit within a few days after Jim is "discharged". Discharged? Anyway, with the discount I don't think I'll have a problem paying the bill, I just don't know how long it will take to get my hands on the money. I'll call the Agilent financial office tomorrow and get things started. But in the meantime our dear, sweet friends, Dan and Carol, are going to make us a loan. That's a huge load off my mind. I just got off the phone with cousin Tony and cousin Kurt's wife, Lynn. She said she knows the vice president of the hospital. She said she's going to talk to her about Jim and see if she can get us some help. Man, I just fell apart. I'm just so blown away by all the love and support these wonderful people have given to Jim and me. There's no way I can thank them enough. I'm shaking right now, hard to type. Thank you so much, you guys.

Dede and David just got here. We had a good talk here in the studio. David is going to the hospital with me tomorrow morning. Hopefully we'll be able to snag some doctors. I know David will be able to have a much more informative conversation with them than Ken and I could.

Ok, it's late. I'm going to bed.