A day of normalness...sort of

First thing this morning Stacey called and said the Haz-mat guy was here. She said Dede was showing the guy around while Dad followed. There are several barrles of oil and many, many buckets of oil and various nasty crap that would be very bad for the environment if they spilled. Stacey was concerned that Dad might make things hard for Dede and asked me to check on how it was all going. I went out to where they were. I said I was out for a walk and saw them and decided to check it out. I could see that Dad was not happy to see me. Dede quietly told me that Mike, the Haz-mat guy, knew what was going on with Dad. They got him to cooperate by telling him the Haz-mat company was going to buy all of Dad's oil and chemicals. The truth, of course, is something very different.

At one point Dad stumbled a little. I told him (in a kind, concerned way) to be careful. He snarled, "You just take care of yourself." Ok, whatever. We continued on, Dede showing Mike where the buckets were and Mike writing it all down. Every time Dad said something Dede would just say ok. At one point Dad tried to pry a bucket out of some weeds. Some liquid spilled out. I said, "Dad, you don't need to move the buckets, Mike can see them." He said, "You get out of here. Go back to your house!" I said, (still being calm) "You shouldn't move the buckets. Look, something spilled out..." He said, "That's just water. You shut up! Just shut your mouth!" I said, "You shut up. You can't tell me what to do". We weren't yelling but it was intense. He was carrying a 3 foot length of irrigation hose. He said, "You'll pay for that." I said, "Is that a threat?" He said yes. I think I've just been disinherited.

I think he realized he was doing this in front of Mike and decided not to push it. Maybe he thought I was going to mess up his sweet deal. Dede and Mike had moved on and Dad hurried off to catch up with them. I followed. I stayed several paces behind Dad. Mike finished up and left.

I went back to the house and called Stacey and invited her to walk the Rube with Dede and me. She came right over. After dropping Lindsay's battery off at Sears we went walking. And talking! It was a great walk. We talked about Dad, about the girls and me, about our plans for Saturday's party. It was a good way to blow off the negative Dad energy.

When I got home I started cleaning. Dean had been out driving around Riverside checking out her old houses. She came home and helped me clean. Then we started trying to figure out some computery stuff. Hit some dead ends. I made a playlist of a bunch of Jim's music, stuff he recorded, stuff he loved. Bill Wolfs called. He's working on getting in touch with Jim's classmates. I'm looking forward to seeing him on Saturday. He's a great guy.

People are going to start showing up tomorrow. The house is going to be crazy but I'm looking forward to seeing everyone. Ken came by for some equipment. Lorraine called. So good to hear her voice. Bob called, too. Thanks, Bob.

Rory went to Ojai for a funeral. He'll be back for the party. Lindsay and Kyle went to an Oh Yeah Cartoons wrap party. His cartoon, Moobeard, has been fisished for some months now. He's had to wait until the others were finished before Nickelodeon will air the whole show. I don't know what else they'll have to do now but it should be airing soon. Dean, Paige and I went to the Spunky Steer for dinner. I know, we were just there, but Dean wanted a steak and the Spunky Steer delivers the goods. It's a meatfest.

And now I'm home. I opened up some mail. Lots of cards. A special thank you to the Carrozzas. You guys are too much. Dan wrote and said he won't be making it down for the party. I'll miss seeing him but circumstances just won't let him get away. It'll be better to visit with him and Carol when things aren't so hectic. I'll want to have a good long talk with Dan. Jim loved him so much. Dan said he's sending some music for the party.

I got weepy a few times today. It's been a week since we lost Jim. Hard to believe. Yesterday I started singing The Log Driver's Waltz in the shower. I did fine until I heard Jim's keyboard playing along in my head. It might be quite a while before I can sing that song completely through. When I was putting the playlist together I listened to a lot of Jim and Dan's Polar Bear stuff. I listened to Michele's recording of Put It There. She wrote a special verse for Jim and me. Again I thought about the things we used to do that are now gone. So much history I had with that man. I noticed today that a lot of my movements have gotten a little mechanical. I think some heartache is settling in. Good thing those crazy Northern California friends are coming tomorrow. They'll bring good cheer. Too bad we won't have time for a Stitch and Bitch luncheon.

Dean, I'll never be able to thank you enough for what you've given me this week. You've held me and you have helped me stay on my feet. I'm stronger because of you.

And now I am going to attempt to scan some photos.