Open mike

Wow, it was a good one.

Bill, Jeff and I met Eric (from uke circle) and his wife for dinner at Heroes. Heroes is a restaurant that serves mass quantities. After eating like a bird for most of the week it sure looked weird to me to see those plates piled ever so high with food being carried through the restaurant. I didn't feel like I was being deprived, it was more like, wow, nobody should ever eat that much food. I ordered a tuna avocado roll up. The sucker was enormous! I took one bits and decided the wrap was too cardboardy. I hollowed the salad out of it and had that. Didn't eat the fries. I was more than satisfied.

After that we headed for the Folk Center. All the regulars were there. Lots of newbies, too. I was planning to sing my Health Science song. I squirmed a little because there were two kids sitting right in front of us and this song is a just a bit randy. After talking it over with Jeff I decided to sing the song and not worry too much about offending delicate ears. When I got up to sing I did say, "Cover the kid's ears" before launching into the song. I'm happy to report it was a hit! People laughed a lot. When I sat back down I apologized the the kid's mother. She said, "Oh, no, that was great! Don't worry about it." A little later her two kids, a girl and a boy, got up and performed. Wow. They did Closer To Fine by The Indigo Girls. Jeez, they were really good.

Jeff sang his newest song, which I think is his best yet. Kind of a bluesy, funny, haiku thing. Bill sang a song about his grandfather's chili. Shades of childhood. Nice and bittersweet. Eric sang I'll Remember You by Kui Lee. I want to learn that one. Eric did a nice job. It was his first open mike.

Ok, here are the lyrics to my song. Everything in it was covered in class-

Health Science teacher
talkin' sex and STDs
birth control and obesity
drugs and heart disease

Eat right, sleep tight, exercise
give your body what it wants
Go out jogging, meet a cougar.
Test your fight or flight response

Chorus-
Can you name all your parts?
Do you know what they do?
Do you stand or sit
when you go to the loo?
Do you roll right over
when you've had a good screw?
Do you know all there is to know about you?

Don't smoke, don't drink and don't shoot up
and treat your sweetie nice.
Don't go to bed with strangers
and you won't get pubic lice

And it's ok to use your hand
or a penis that is fake
Just don't have sex with trees or pets
and don't insert a snake

And say your boyfriend ups and dies
or girlfriend kicks the bucket
Just because it can't say no
doesn't mean it's ok to fuck it

(Oh yeah, necrophilia was covered)

Chorus-

A drink or two can break the ice
and send things in a friendly direction
But not too much, cause when it's time to perform
you might not get an erection

And if you're a girl take extra care
Protect your drink just like it's a child
Something might slip in and the next thing you know
you're the sweetheart of Girls Gone Wild

Chorus-

Mr. Beaman taught us how to stay healthy
but you'll probably still catch a cold
Just apply what you've learned
and if you're good and lucky
you'll die when you're very old