Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Grrr....

I was supposed to go to an Excel class at the library. I didn't get out of here on time. Oh well, they have another one next week.

I was getting ready to go when I looked out the kitchen window and saw a van parked in my driveway. We've had a lot of people coming up here looking for trees, even though we've got signs posted saying CLOSED and NO TRESSPASSING. I went out front and found a woman and her kids talking to Dad. He's telling them where they can find a tree. I didn't say anything until the woman walked away. I told Dad we're not giving away any more trees. Of course he immediately got nasty. I told him that Bud is taking the rest of the trees and we're not insured to have the general public up here. He said, "I know that! You've told me a thousand times! Now you've said what you want to say so GO!" I said, "Well, if you already know that then don't keep telling people they can get trees." He said, "Get the shit out of here. Just go fuck yourself! You've always been a piece of shit."

Yep. That's what he said. I said, "Yes, and you've always been an abusive father." I know I shouldn't have said that but hey, I was provoked. Besides, he won't remember it anyway. He laughed and kept telling me to get lost. I came back to the house. The woman's two little girls were looking at the rabbits. Their mother was right there. I told her that we weren't supposed to be giving trees away but she could still have one. Just don't tell anyone else. She was very nice. Dad saw me talking to her and came over to make sure I didn't tell her, like, I dunno, the TRUTH or something. Since the little girls were right there he kept it together. The woman's husband came driving up and they went out to the field to get a tree.

I came in the house and made another sign to put up next to the others. It said "We are closed. The trees belong to another farmer and they're not for sale. There is NO free giveaway. Do not disturb house occupants."

Really, the sign should say WHAT PART OF "NO TRESSPASSING" AND "WE'RE CLOSED" DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND, DUMBASS?

That'll be the next sign I put up.

Anyway, I was late getting out of here so I missed the class. Man, this morning when I went over to do meds Dad was talking about all the people that were here getting trees last night. People we don't know! He was disgusted and amazed that so many people would come up here uninvited. HE'S the one that made the announcement to a whole restaurant full of people! I've been asking people where they heard about the trees and they all say Mr.T's restaurant.

Three more days and Dad is outta here. Our moving day is two weeks from today. I am soooooooo ready.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think your answer to his abuse was pretty mild. Alzheimer's or no, he deserved to hear that and more. I know his brain is fried, but it's hard for me to let him off the hook for what he just said to you.

Well, if revenge is any consolation, and it usually is to me, he's a pretty miserable old creep, and he has eternally missed his chance to be anything else.

--dean

Anonymous said...

Don't worry Dean, I screamed at him and slammed a door in his face for it (he was being a snarky bitch anyway, but I was already mad at him.)

Donita Curioso said...

Dean- You know, Jim used to say pretty much the same thing. It is too bad for him. I can let that stuff go by because he's so powerless now. Being nasty in the extreme is all he has left. I'm just glad he didn't hit me today. He looked like he was close to it.

Lindsay- It bothers me that you and Paige have to deal with him sometimes. The way he treats me is no surprise but he doesn't have the same kind of history with you two. Maybe he does it because you're my kids and you're both adults. Well, we only have three more days and then we're done.

Anonymous said...

Lindsay--

I cannot imagine you screaming at anyone, but good on ya.

--dean

vdevvyl--Stan

vivage said...

I'm not really mean but I just want to hit him, slap him hard and tell him what a fucker he is.

It's hard for me to hear your stories, cuz it's so real about a friend of mine and her children. I can't imagine hurting my children like how he tries to hurt you and yours. Diseased mind or not.

Donita Curioso said...

His nastiness used to really hurt me. I grew up being afraid of him. There was absolutely no trust. This is not the kind of relationship a parent should have with their child.

There's a reason he's like this. His childhood was the pits. As bad as things were for us when we were growing up it's nowhere near as bad as he had it. My mom also had a rocky childhood. Both Mom and Dad did the best they could to make things better for us. But they didn't always get it right and, as far as I'm concerned, with me he got it wrong most of the time.

All five of us had a very different relationship with our parents. I was Mom's girl. Seriously, I'm almost my mom's clone. I rarely felt that I mattered much to Dad when I was little. Debbie had the right kind of energy for him. I was a muffin. When Drew came along Dad finally had his boy. By the time Dede and Stacey came along he was busy running his business and I had grown to the point where my relationship with Dad was pretty well cemented. I was still Mom's girl and that was enough.

He's a weak, old man now. Yes, it's hard to deal with his crap but it just doesn't hurt like it used to. I think it's because I know what the future holds for him. Dean, what you said is true. He missed his chance to ever be anything else. That's a very sad thing.

There was a time when Dad and I got to be pretty close. We had some very good, open and honest conversations. I was able to tell him how I felt without him getting defensive. For me it was really something to finally feel like he got me. But that lasted only about a year. Then he discovered Rush Limbaugh.

In three days he'll be moved to assisted living. Until then, Debbie and Bob will be here. So, essentially I'm done. I am no longer the main caregiver. Wow, it's been about 3 1/2 years. Maybe not quite that long. I'll look at my old blog posts and find out when this all started.

Anyway, I'm done now.

Donita Curioso said...

Three years.

vivage said...

That he can be ok with some and not with others means he chooses to be a jerk.

Exactly as you choose to do the opposite, be a nice human even tho you could fall back on the standby *I had a kinda bad childhood* line.