Got a glimpse of my future today. I'm a little unnerved.
Today I found out that we might have to move sooner than I thought. I've been trying to work it out in my head for months but I haven't had much info to go on. I'm not going to give the details here. Hell, I still don't really know what's going on. I'll be meeting with the sibs this weekend. After that I'll talk more about it here. But I'm not unnerved about that... yet.
This evening I realized how emotionally wrenching this is all going to be. There's no getting around it. We'll be dealing with our own move, which will be stressful enough, but we'll also be dealing with Dad's. He'll need to leave almost everything he owns to go into assisted living. Dad won't give up so much as a ketchup packet willingly, how are we going to get him to let go of his mountain of stuff? It's going to be the driver's license war all over again. Plus, he's probably going to be devastated. The whole thing's going to be seriously stressful for him. And, boy am I dreading it. It won't surprise me if he thinks I've masterminded the whole thing just to steal all his money. He says stuff like that.
Then there's the reality of moving into a new home without Jim. I realized tonight (it's a night of realizations) that even though we've been through the biggest change of our lives, our day to day existence hasn't changed much at all. We still live in this house the same way we always did. But once we're living someplace else the last tie to our every day lives with Jim will be cut. There will be no memories of him in the new house. He exists here.
So man, that's gonna be one freaky day. Might be a good day for a party.
It looks like maybe, probably sometime before that Kyle will move back to LA. There's an exciting roomate prospect on the horizon. From what I hear the guy's a Kyle klone. I see possibilities for some excellent collaberation. BUT! It means we're losing Kyle! He's been our Dude Of The House. I've enjoyed living with him. Kyle brings it.
Oh yeah, and I'm going to be looking for a job.
So, things are about to get really hard. Right now seems to be a bit of a honeymoon. Ok, good. At least I figured out some stuff beforehand.
But if I flip out a little, you'll know why.
7 comments:
At least you can look forward to living on one of the wood streets. But, yeah, that will be the post-Jim world. And at the same time as The Big Wrench with your dad. Get settled before you look for a job. They're going to expect you to attend and you're going to have too much popping up at the last minute. The new person can't ask for the kind of time off you're going to need.
You can always come out here and hide for a week. I hope you can wait until August. Right now it's no more restful here.
--leg
Wow-that's a lot to handle-it will truly be a whole new life. You've done well so far-read back through your blogs and it's all there.
Kyle moving out? We hadn't heard! It's been so good for him there- except for the commute of course. We're eternally grateful for you giving him a home all this time, and all the support that goes with having a family there. We'll be in CA 8/6-8/18 if we can help with anything.
It will all work out. Now might be a good time to find out from either an Alzheimers group or his docs how to best move your dad.
Dean- I always thought I wouldn't be able to afford anything on the Wood streets. Looks like the timing of all this will work out.
I don't know about the job thing. I've put it off long enough but you're right, going through all this upheaval while work at a new job might be just another problem. But damn, I need a job. I don't want to blow through all the life insurance money. I'd really like to hang onto as much of it as I can.
We (all of us sibs) have to clean this place up. We have to clean out the barns, the barnyard and Dad's house. A HUGE pile of work. It might be better for me to wait until after that to find a job. I don't know. I'll know more after meeting with the sibs this weekend.
Anne- Well, nothing's definite yet. But he will need to get himself back to LA eventually even if this doesn't come together. Once Lindsay is through with school she'll join him.
You guys will be here for a VACATION. Slogging around in a dirty, hot barn ain't the way to spend it. But do come on out to Riverside for a visit. I'm really looking forward to seeing you and Carl.
Virginia- Yes, it will all work out. We just have to go through some crap first! Getting advice on how to move Dad is a good idea.
This morning he was reeeally foggy. I just got his glucose tester fixed. He hadn't used it in a while so he had forgotten the routine. I kept trying to get him to do just one step at a time but he couldn't get it. He kept putting the lancet shooter up to his face like he was going to shave with it. It didn't matter how many times I told him to put it against his finger, he kept putting it on his face.
When we finally pricked his finger he stood there holding it over the sink. I picked up the tester and had to hold his finger while getting the blood onto the strip. He acted like he had no idea what to do, no idea why we had just made his finger bleed. When I finally got a drop of blood on the strip he said, "Oh, that's how that works."
After that I went out to check on his dogs. That's part of the morning routine now. They had plenty of water and only a little bit of food. Their food bowls are always next to the back door. I told Dad their water was fine and he just needs to fill their food bowl. He got a little testy and said he needed to fill one food bowl with water and that they had plenty of food in the other bowl. I tried to explain it to him but he was starting to get mad. When I left he was messing around with the dog food bag so I'm hoping they got fed.
Yep. He's slipped. He was pretty stable for a long time but lately he's taken a noticeable dive. It makes me wonder how he can get through each day without having something go seriously wrong.
Well, we're headed in that direction. He's going to need more and more supervision until we can get him into assisted living. I've been calling him more to remind him to take his pills. The other day he got mad at me for it. He said, "Why do you care so much about this? I've always been healthy. You never cared before." He was real suspicious, like my making sure he was taking his meds was some kind of evil plan.
If that's true then I'm the dumbest evil mastermind ever.
Wow. Big column of black smoke across the valley. Plane crash, maybe? Fuel truck? Looks pretty bad.
*hopping up and down* I know, I know.
It's at 3rd and the freeway and it's a business that has a jillion boxes and plastics in it's yard.
I have pictures! If I could be patient enough to send all 4 of them from my cell to my email. I'll write about it in my blog later tonight.
Mmmmm, plastic.
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