This morning I took Dad to the VA for a hearing test. His geriatric doc ordered it just so we could rule it out. Well, his hearing is near perfect. Can't blame any of his problems on that.
On the way home he said he talked to another cold call realtor, a woman. He said he likes the women more than any of the men we've met with. Uh-huh. He just likes having his ego stroked. So, now I'm thinking we should have the CB guys here again and tell them to bring a woman for Dad. I'm serious. She can walk the property with him and listen to his stories and compliment him on his land and his beautiful family and he'll think she's the best thing in the world. I really think that's what would do the trick.
Scotty and I felt good about the CB guys and I think Drew did too. They're the big commercial realty in this area and they really seem to know their stuff. They've got years of experience and expertise and they'll market the land to all the big developers. Dad wants to hang a sign on the fence and see what he gets. He's been shopping around for books on how to sell your land yourself. The biggest deal of his life and he wants to mess around with a how-to book. It's maddening.
So, I have this visual image of the realtors showing up here with Hedy Lamarr in a sarong. She takes Dad by the arm and they stroll off to look at the view from the top of the hill while the rest of us work out the deal. Then he comes back and happily signs the papers.
Too bad she's dead.
18 comments:
But the question remains: Does he remember she's dead? Because I think it's a fabulous idea.
...or perhaps a Hedy and a Hedley?
...or Ovaltine, perhaps?
A hedy in hand is worth two in the bush.
I think your dad would like that.
Oh, we're going crazy here!
It would have to be a Hedy hallucination because if she were still alive, she'd be verrrry old and not too attractive in that sarong.
Ok you guys, now you've got me seeing Dad chasing twin Hedys with glasses of Ovaltine through the bushes.
Meanwhile, we're back at the house signing papers with Harvey Korman.
* through the bushes.*
Errr, that ain't the bush I was talking about.
Yes, I know but since we're talking about my dad I had to visually go to a completely different place.
I mean, really, ew.
Bwhahahah, I see. I saw the post title and figured you went there.
I'll be good, at least for a little while.
You guys are all thinking of Dorothy Lamour. Hedy Lamar was the one with the thick german accent who wore a top hat and tails.
And I think you mean that a Hedy in the hand is worth two in the bush, or vice versa.
You people need serious pun tutoring.
I've actually seen Dorothy Lamours bush. So there.
Holy cow! How does someting like that happen?
No, I didn't want Dorothy Lamour. She's too... too much. Hedy is just the right flavor.
Yes, Jeff, you are the pun king.
I met Jeff (33 years ago) on a spring break church trip. I think there were 11 teenagers and 2 adults all packed into a motor home going up the California coast. As I remember it, the boys outnumbered the girls (yeah, obnoxious).
We were trapped, TRAPPED I tell you, trapped like rats! I don't know how it started but sometime at the BEGINNING of the trip someone (and I think we all know who) started using puns to great excess, every conversation, every sentence. Ok, I'm exagerrating but that's what it felt like. Jeff and Mark Staple were the worst offenders. This is where I first discovered how merciless Jeff can be when he latches onto something.
And it wasn't just puns in conversation. There were pun jokes flying around the motorhome. Jokes with punchlines like, "Out bored motor". AAAIIEEE!!!!!
We were church kids so I wasn't allowed to kill anyone. But it's kind of like childbirth. Eventually you forget the pain and suffering and learn to love the little bastard.
Many years ago we (the staff at the local CLO) decided having a *star* perform in one of our shows. A good way to bring in more audience members.
So we contracted Dorothy to be Bloody Mary in South Pacific. She was easily in her 60's. We'd rented a trailer for her to use as a dressing room. I played the part of her assistant in the show. A small part as written but since Dorothy didn't want to say the line: Bastard, the director had me say it. I ended up making sure she made all of her cues (she was sorta forgetful) and sometimes had to say her lines because she'd forget them.
In any case, at the end of the run she called me, Susan and Patty into her trailer. She stood there in all her naked 60+old glory and gave all of us gifts. A signed 8x10 glossy, a hawaii pin (which I've lost), and a thank you note.
I have no idea why she was naked when she gave us our gifts. But whatever her reason, I got a good story out of it.
Wow. I'm amazed. That's so strange that she didn't bother to put on a robe before calling you into the trailer. Maybe that was another one of her "gifts". A photo, a pin, a card AND the image of her old, naked bod forever burned into your retinas.
Jeez, Dotty, thanks a heap!
Yeah, the gift of that vision keeps giving and giving.
Legadillo! That night I was in the box office when Christine J came up to get her (held) tickets! She said, "Hello, I'm Christine Jorgenson and I have tickets here".
I gave her the tickets and noticed her hands were large.
That night at the curtain call (she always gave a little speech) Dorothy pointed out that Christine was out in the audience. And yep, Christine did get up and yell "Dottie!".
Small world huh?
Wow, Chris and Dorothy were friends, eh? I can totally see this happening, Chris standing up to take her bow, your mom and KC diving under their seats.
As I was writing this Virginia showed up with her story of that night. Small world, indeed.
Dean's grandmother was good friends with Chris and they lived together for a while in Laguna. Sometimes a bunch of us would go down there for the weekend and stay at their house. Buncha freeloading teenagers.
Legs: Actually, a sarong wraps around the whole body, baring lots of lrg but no midriff. However, I am wrong about Hedy Lamar. I'm thinking of Marlene Deitrich.
pssst, a sarong is a long piece of fabric. How you wear it doesn't define it. It can be worn as a dress or as a skirt.
Fashion tip for today.
SARONG!!!!
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