Dad

Slipping fast. Last night Drew called and said he was bringing Dad home. They had gone out to a game. He said Dad needed a pain pill ASAP. I took some of his prescription Motrin over. I made Dad half a salami sandwich and set one pill out and put the other in a little plastic bag with a note in it about when to take it. That's my little system for leaving pills with him. I have these tiny ziplocks that I use for my vitamins. I'll put pills in them and insert a little note. I also made him half a peanut butter and jelly sandwich so he could have food handy for the middle-of-the-night dose.

When they got there Dad was good and surly. He's been in pain for about a week because of a shoulder strain. The doc gave him Motrin, which has to be taken with food. It also takes a bit longer to start working than the Vicodin I was giving him. Dad kept saying he wanted me to leave him all of his pain pills. He of course got really mad at me. I was trying to explain to him why I couldn't do that and about him needing to eat when he takes the pills. Drew tried to step in and help but Dad said, "You don't know what she does. She's always doing this." He and I both stayed calm and I kept explaining about what he needed to do.

I gave Dad the salami sandwich. It was weird watching him eat. Almost like a dog, stuffing it in and biting hard. So much anger. He took a pill. Then we went into the bathroom to take his evening meds. I brought the peanut butter sandwich with me and set it on the counter with the second pill in a ziplock with instructions. We went round and round with me explaining about when to take it, why he can't have the rest of the pills, no, leave the sandwich for later when you take the next pill, no don't take it now, just follow the instructions, no, don't eat the sandwich now, you just had one, no don't take the pill now, you just had one... His hands were grabbing.

This morning I gave him another pain pill and made sure he ate some cereal with it. Then we went into the bathroom for morning meds. Last night's pill was still there with the sandwich. Again, more explaining. I gave him two more pills in ziplocks. He said he was going out after church and needed pills that he could take with him. Who knows what will happen with those pills?

His whole way of being has changed. He's more angry, more vacant. His attention span is much shorter than it was. It can be measured in seconds now. I'm wondering if maybe he shouldn't go out with the church ladies anymore. They might not be able to handle him. His confusion is constant. I know we're getting down to the last few months but I think he should go into assisted living as soon as possible.

Things are getting pretty bad pretty fast.