Drew, Dede and Stacey bought Dad back today. They said the trip went really well for the most part. I left work just as they were checking into the convalescent home. Dad was very upset about being taken there but he calmed down after he had some dinner. After a while Mindy showed up with the kids. Most of the time I was there Dad was doing well. He'd zone out sometimes and snooze but he never really fell asleep. After a while Drew and Mindy left to take the kids home and get a more comfortable chair for Drew. He's planning to go back at around midnight. Dede and Stacey are there now. We've found out that one of us will have to stay with Dad the whole time because he keeps trying to get out of bed and stand up. If we're not there to help him he'll fall down for sure.
When I first arrived Dede was pretty angry. Stacey, too. I guess when they first got there things were pretty chaotic and the staff were clueless. They did NOT feel right about leaving Dad there. Once the night crew came on and we met them we all felt better about it. Dad is sharing his room with a man who had a stroke on Christmas. His son was there. Stacey pulled him aside and asked him if he was satisfied with the level of care there. The guy was a little hesitant. He said the care isn't that good but as far as he knows this place is one of the better ones. He said they have a family member staying with their dad 24 hours a day because they can't count on the staff to know what's going on. We're hoping Dad responds well to therapy so we can get him out of there and back to Sunrise. He can't go back to his apartment but he can go into the Alzheimer's unit.
I had to leave to pick Paige up from school. I'm going to get something to eat and then go back over there for a couple hours. I'll take the uke and play some music for Dad. Just before I left Scotty and B showed up. Dad seemed to feel like he had to stand up to greet Scotty. Stacey thinks it's because he doesn't want to appear weak in front of Scotty. Dad got kind of nasty with Stacey and we had a hard time getting him to sit down. Things were pretty calm when I left.
I really hope Drew is getting some rest right now. I'm going to gather up some pillows and stuff to try to make everyone a bit more comfortable. It's going to be a long and difficult week.
8 comments:
I hope things settle down now that he's back in town and all of you get some rest.
It totally sucks that ya'll have to montitor the service at the convalescent home.
It's interesting. Some of the staff we're really happy with, others not so much. The head physical therapist (at least I think that's her position) did some evaluation on Dad's walking. She was telling Dede and me her thoughts and observations. She paused at one point and said she didn't want to talk about what she was thinking. Dede said, "We really do want to know your thoughts." Again she hesitated, like we wouldn't be able to handle it or something. We explained that yes, we really do need to know. Dede told her her husband is a doctor and she needs to be able to tell him everything that's going on with Dad. That convinced her. She said she thought Dad might have Parkinson's. Of course, our whole world fell apart NOT. Jeez, why wouldn't she want to tell us that? She had them put a brace on Dad's right knee and he walked much better. She let go of her Parkinson's suspicions. What a scatter-brained idiot.
Dad had some physical therapy today. He did really well. I was impressed with how well he could walk. He fed himself at dinner. The only goofy thing he did was try to eat potato chips with a fork. He's letting the daughters help him with going to the bathroom. He's settling in and getting used to the place. His attitude is really pretty good. But we still can't let him stay there on his own. Dede is staying there tonight.
I feel spaced out. We've all commented on the affect that place has on us. After being there for a few hours you feel like your brain is leaking out your ears.
How weird. He's just had a stroke, he's been in bed for a few days (which causes us to lose 5% of our muscle tone for each day we are in bed) and she thinks he has Parkinsons? Did she even ask for any history about tremors, feet getting stuck, finger rolling? Is his posture stooped or does he lean forward? I didn't see any of that when I saw him over the summer.
That makes no sense...and what the hell is a therapist doing making some kind of dx anyway?
Grrrrr.
She did ask some questions. She asked about his shuffling and his posture. Dede said her behavior explains why the place was so chaotic the first day. She's one of the higher-ups and she's scattered so the staff takes their cues from her.
And she really was a scatter brain. There was a family there today who was trying to figure out the whole admission/consent/power of attorney type thing. The guy who was filling out the form was quite upset and it was clear there hadn't been any kind of pre-need paper signing. They were just trying to get their dad admitted. She kind of got in the guy's face about it. I really thought she was escalating the situation. She was doing this while she was trying to supervise three other therapy sessions. I felt bad for the guy. It was clear that he didn't understand the process and she was horrible at trying to explain it to him. After she walked away he just sat there with the clipboard in his hands fighting back tears. It was resolved eventually.
He was shuffling before the stroke?
I get the story from KC's side: Medicare pays for shit so the nursing homes cut waaaaay back (except the owner's profit, of course), so therapists are pressured to bill hours, like lawyers, and they can't meet their quotas, so they piggyback their schedules. They might be trying to treat two or three people at a time when they're supposed to have their entire attention on one event.
So not only are they harried, but if you're willing to let do the kind of job where your superiors badger you incessantly, then you're also kind of an idiot.
Strike two.
--dean
Virginia- Yes, he was shuffling before the stroke. His right knee has been weak for a long time. We're wondering if one of the mini strokes he had is responsible for that. We don't know how far back these strokes go. We noticed several "dives" over the last several months, maybe even a couple of years. I also wonder if he had some nerve damage because of his diabetes. I'll ask David about that.
Dean- We having a family meeting with the head therapist on Monday. I wonder how that will go? Some of the staff are really pretty good. Some are morons. Dede snapped a little at a nurse who came in to take Dad's vitals just after he fell asleep. She spoke loudly and woke him up. Dede explained to her that she could do it while he's asleep. Dad doesn't sleep very well right now. He's restless and fidgety. Plus he has a room mate. Why wake that guy up? We've seen this so many times. Someone will come in dragging some piece of equipment, banging around and talking loudly. Dad needs LESS stimulation right now, not more. These people are clueless about the patient's individual needs. or they don't care.
When I visit KC at work, it just appalls me that one of the residents of a two-person room can crank up the TV just as loud as he likes, and the other one just has to deal with it. KC said sometimes the nursing assistants, who really do the shittiest jobs on earth, will turn the TVs on to whatever they want (frequently Jerry Springer) while they work a room.
That would drive me out of my mind, and I mean that literally.
Also, everybody's supposed to get up at an ungodly hour: like breakfast at 6:30? so the staff can get started.
My friend Gitte is a nursing assistant at a nursing home in Denmark. When she visited we took her to KC's work. She was pretty horrified at how squalid and hospital-like it is, and it's considered the nicest one in Austin. Gitte said places in Denmark are much more like people's houses, not like hospitals.
KC says if you're in a nursing home and you have no relatives to look out for you, you're pretty much out of luck.
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