When I got to Dad's this morning he was in his office going over all the DMV stuff. He had the copies of the replacement forms that the DMV sent to me. He also had a new driver's license application that he must have gotten from the DMV. He thought they had sent it to him. Anyway, he was very messed up, very angry and very wild-eyed.
I stayed calm and didn't engage him. I tried a couple times to explain everything to him but I had to give up. Nothing was sinking in. Accusations flew. He thinks we're all making a big deal about his Alzheimer's and we're doing it because we're trying to kill him. He's studying the DMV book so he can go in there and get an A on the test. He demanded that I give him copies of everything we have on the computer. I told him we've already given him copies of everything and he basically accused me of lying to him because he doesn't have those copies. There's no way I could tell him that he must have lost them. Before I could say it he started yelling about how he never loses things. He accused Stacey and Drew of conspiring against him. I told him I'd like to tell him the truth about what's going on and he cut me off and told me he'd rather hear a lie.
I told him he should call Dede and talk to her. I told him he should talk to David. That pretty much went right by, I think because somehow he knows they'll tell him the same thing I've been trying to tell him. He said he wants a family meeting this weekend so he can tell all of us to stop talking about him and doing things behind his back. He thinks we're the ones who are trying to take his license away. Nothing I said this morning got through.
He said he's going to take the copies of the DMV forms and the driver's license application and go down to the DMV and get this straightened out. I didn't even try to tell him not to do that. I just hope that someday I'll get to see the security video. If he goes down there and starts throwing his weight around I bet he'll get arrested.
Dr. Griffin is supposed to call me sometime today. She called yesterday when we weren't home. I reeeeeally need to talk to her.
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Sheesh. He came over just now to get some help with his car. He was all chipper and cheerful. He called Drew while he was here to see about getting help with replacing a light. He was kind of weird and demanding with Drew. Drew said he has plans for this evening and there's a ball game tomorrow so he can't just jump up and fix Dad's car. Dad pressed it and said Drew could look at it when they're at the ball game tomorrow. I could hear Drew's voice on the other end and he seemed hesitant. Dad ended the conversation telling Drew to have fun at the concert but he sounded mad. Yuck
Ok, that's it. I just talked to Dr. Griffin. She filled out the form and sent it in. She's recommended that he not drive. She said if he wants to go through the motions of getitng his license back that's fine. I told her that's what we were doing. That we're just going along with it because that's what he wants.
I told her about his recent behavior. She's going to send him some kind of mood stabilizer. I asked her if that's what it was going to be called on the label because if he sees that he probably won't take it. She said she'll have them write something benign on the label so he won't know what he's taking. His next appoinment with her is on the 28th and we should know by then if it will work.
She should send extra for me!
You know I'm thinking if he's in that kind of mood that you turn around and leave for an hour. Maybe after a little time passes he'll forget and you can bypass all the explaining that doesn't ever stick anymore. I have a feeling you're still trying to reason with him and hope it will be remembered. And it sounds like he's a little bit past that.
You know you should ask the doc for a light anti-depressant BEFORE it gets so bad that you feel like you're really losing it.
Well, some days you really can reason with Dad. This morning I could see right away that that wasn't possible. I was sitting there listening to him yell at me and thinking I don't know how to handle this, I have no idea what to do. So I sat there and let him yell until he fizzled out. I think if I just left he would have been pissed off enough to remember it.
I'm going to make an appointment with my doctor and get a referral for some counseling, If it turns out that medication is the right thing for me then I'll take it.
I'm wondering if diversion might help...like it does with little kids. I suppose some days that would work better than others.
I really do think you're doing a good job and really think the talking to a doc about counseling and/or meds is a very good idea.
This morning he called Jim to ask him what sodas he can drink that have lots of caffeine. He's studying for his drivers test and he wants to stay awake. Jim told him to make some tea.
Dad is going to the DMV on Monday and take the test. His license is going to be suspended on Monday but he thinks he can take the written test and make this whole thing go away. We're not going to discourage him but it's hard to see him go through all this studying knowing it won't do any good.
When I got there this morning he had a huge pot of tea on the stove. I told him he should rest if he feels sleepy because his mind won't be fresh if he tries too hard to stay awake. I'm a little worried that drinking all that tea will make him tweaky. His blood sugar this morning was 239. Yesterday it was 138.
We'll see how the day goes. I'm going shopping.
How was the shopping? I hope fruitful.
We went shopping for Sherri's (SIL) birthday present. Her party was tonight. We got her a big ornamental grass plant and a Mexican pot. I added in some black and orange pansies. It was a nice combination.
Sounds pretty. I love pansies but I have a black thumb. Hopefully hers is green.
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