Looks like we need to have another family meeting. This morning I got the report from Stacey about Dad's doctor visits and his general behavior last week. It was a bit rough. Sounds like he's taking another dive.
I need to go over there and get him set up again. She said he didn't have any reminder sheets taped to his bathroom mirror. That's an important part of our system. I need to check on his vitamin supplies too.
When I asked him about how the doctor's visits went he shrugged and brushed it off like everything was ok. Stacey had a whole different story to tell. She said he fell and got a big gash on his head. He couldn't remember how or when it happened, he just remembered cleaning it up. Then he said it happened at the restaurant where he eats breakfast every morning. Stacey went there and talked to the waitresses and they said he never fell while he was there. They had helped him one day when he had a cut on his arm so that must have been what he was remembering.
Stacey also said he was snippy with her. They actually ended up getting into a big blow up at one point. I'm sorry she had to go through that but I'm also kind of glad she got to see what we've been dealing with. Dad can still cover pretty well most of the time but when he gets cornered about his memory he lashes out. I'm starting to think counseling would be a good idea. He needs help accepting this. Being in such deep denial isn't helping the situation at all.
Ok, I'm going over there.
In an hour.
5 comments:
Man Donita. The denial thing is huge. Especially for one who's memory is in and out.
Like you I'm a bit happy that the PA continguency has been able to see some of the behaviours themselves. It helps a little to share the frustration, the helplessness of the situtation. I've come to realize Denial is a big river to cross.
Just now when I was over there he said he didn't want to take the vitamins any more because of the expense. He said, "Why should I take them when there's nothing wrong with me?" I explained that we noticed that his thinking was clearer when he took the vitamins, especially the curcumin. It looked to me like he hasn't been taking any of them. He should have run out by now.
But he kept saying there's nothing wrong with him. I told him, "No, Dad, you know things aren't totally ok. There is a problem." That's when he looked at his watch and said, "Oops, gotta go, big meeting at church..." Then he left.
I didn't see any of the new medication that Stacey said they got last week. He left before I could ask him about it. Stacey said when she dropped him off after the doctor's appointment he put the new pills in a Jack-In-The-Box bag with some trash. She tried to tell him that was a bad idea and he got mad at her.
I think it's good for everyone in the family to see for themselves what's going on.
Jim is making up some new reminder sheets that Dad can tape to his bathroom mirror to help him with the med schedule. I really don't think he's been taking them like he should. I told him I'm going to be calling him every day to remind him. I had stopped doing that because he seemed to be doing ok with his meds. But it looks like he's turned another corner and things are worse.
Oh yeah, the denial thing is huge.
Hey sis,
I just got off the phone with him regarding the vitamin issue. He started off on the defensive, but came around to admitting that the curcurmin is good to be taking, as well as a multivitamin, and that five of the pills are his regular medicines. He is concerned about the cost, and I tried to insert the idea that if they help keep him healthy, it is worth the investment. He said he wanted to talk with David about it, and that was an easy end to the conversation, so I left it there.
No comment on his conversation with Stace - he just said they had had a great time together going to all the ball games!
He said again how much he appreciates you and Jim and all that you both do for him - and I remind him to tell you directly, but in case he forgets again - Thank you!
We are planning on coming next Friday night. He didn't write it down in his book, so he may not remember.
This is my first blog experience. Hope I didn't break protocol. Oh dear, I may have to be anonymous because I didn't sign up first. Here goes an initial attempt
Hey, hey! The first sibling to post a comment! See? It's not so hard. Everyone, this is Dede.
Oh yeah, when I asked him about his week all he wanted to talk about was the ball games. When I asked him about the doc visits all he wanted to talk about was the ball games. I told him I had talked to Stacey about his meds and he changed the subject- ball games. Denial.
He does tell us that he appreciates what we do, just not lately. He got into this high energy mode for a while where he was runnng all over the place acting like he's still 20 years old. That's when the meanness came out.
Heh, heh! I don't care of he doesn't tell us how much he appreciates what we do. I just want HIM to do what we tell him to do. Think that'll happen?
Hi Dede, nice to meet ya!
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