What a great walk I had last night! Lately I've been walking up one of the trails. It's a pretty walk and it keeps me in the shade for most of it. Just as I was reaching the top I saw a woman coming up a different trail that ends in the same place. She had the biggest, most painful looking boob job I've ever seen. These were huge, melon-shaped, antigravity boobs. They looked weird, they moved weird and looking at them made me feel afraid. I fell in behind her on the road.
As she was rounding the corner I saw a man coming in the opposite direction. After he passed her I could see his face. He looked stunned and confused. Those boobs were like those sonic blast grenades that the cops use in hostage situations. As we got closer he saw that I was smiling at him and he burst out laughing. He said, "Boy, you just see everything up here, don't you?" I continued on behind her for a while. Every time she passed a man his face would take on the same expression. Totally confused and amused but too scared to really enjoy the moment. After a while she continued to the top of the mountain and I followed the road down the hill.
Now, I don't really have anything against boob jobs. I've seen some good ones. But sheeeeit!!! Shame on the doctor that consented to that mammular trainwreck. Just because a RETARDED woman hands you a bag of cash and requests a disfiguring operation doesn't mean you have to say yes.
When I was almost at the end of my walk I glanced into one of the back yards that are all along that road. I noticed some movement but I couldn't tell what I was looking at...for a second. Holy crap, it was a family of skunks! They were about 30 feet away, two adults and four babies. They were ambling along, very low to the ground, just a squirming mass of black and white fluff. Since they were fairly far away I didn't feel threatened so I yelled, "Hey skunkies!" They immediately stopped and in a FLASH arranged themselves in a circle, noses in, butts out, tails raised! It was freakin' amazing! They held this position for about 6 seconds and then the mom decided it was better to just get the hell out of there. They ambled off into the bushes. I'm standing there, totally alone with no one to share the moment with. You know, that's happened to me several times in my life. Something exquisite happens to me and I have no witnesses, no one to talk to.
Then, BONUS! I continued on my way and was soon passed by a woman jogger who was wearing black shorts with white stripes with a black tank top and a white tank top underneath! She was attired in skunky perfection! It was the perfect capper.
Man, I love Mt. Rubidoux.
7 comments:
I've got nothing against augmentation, been there meself. BUT OMG, the sights you see when you see some girl with giant FF's bursting from underneath her armpits.
All I can say is thank god men don't think their balls need augmention.
HAR!!!!
ARGH! I HATE fake boobs! Who would want to make boobs STOP moving properly? It defeats the purpose of boobs! ... Or... like... MY purpose of boobs....
Right.
yekimxai: What the fifth Ninja Turtle fights with.
TV'sKyle and The Purpose Of Boobs.
bztpj- Bozzie's tip jar
Vivage, you said a mouthful.
You naughty boy.
I'm glad the men you saw reacted the way they did. I suppose there're some women who can justify a boob job, maybe to bring them up to a normal size or...like, replace a boobie after cancer. But...lord...how big do they really need to BE??
Zpuvalne: giant-boob lady's pornstar name.
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