Dad just informed me that he's going on a church retreat this weekend. He also said he needs to have his car back because he's going to have one of the guys drive it up there. I told him I need the phone numbers of the people he's going with. He got very angry and started yelling stupid shit like, "You're in the habit of sticking your nose where it don't belong!" and "Nobody needs to know anything aobut this!" and "Don't you dare call unless someone has died!"
I said, "You've got a badly infected toe. If you forget to take your meds you'll be skipping a dose of antibiotics and you can't do that. (He said he doesn't forget. It's in the past. Why can't I just let it go?) You're going to be out of town with someone who isn't family. You need someone to help you do what you need to do. No, you are NOT normal and you DO need help. If that infection gets out of control you will lose that toe or even your whole foot. Give me the phone numbers of the people you're going with. GIVE ME THE PHONE NUMBERS!"
He's back in nasty old bastard mode. No problem, I can switch to bitch mode pretty quick.
When I came home Jim told me that Dad had called earlier and demanded that he take the car in by Thursday and have the oil changed. We've been using the car since Lindsay's accident. We're hoping to buy a car this weekend but that might not happen. There's no good reason for him to use it to drive a load of church guys up to the mountains. He's being sticky about us using his car. Thing is, he used our truck for several weeks while he was having car trouble and returned it with the electrical screwed up and we never said anything.
Anyway, I called one of the church guys and told him my concerns. He said he'd help Dad with his meds and he agreed to keep our conversation a secret. Also, he said they're all driving up there in his truck so the car issue isn't a problem, at least not for this weekend.
So, I'm stressed out. I'm going to try meditating. I'm supposed to meditate on wanting inner peace this week. Right now inner peace isn't the first thing on my mind. Right now it's "maim and kill".
Dang, I'm out of Petron.
16 comments:
I hope the meditation helped. It probably would be beneficial if you did it daily...before having to deal with the day.
Good luck on the car thing.
qqquuker: Studdering quaker
Yes, doing it earlier would be better. It helped a little. It's still so new to me that I keep feeling like I'm not doing it right. Like I'm doing it too actively, if that makes any sense. I'm sure eventually I'll get comfortable with the whole concept.
I called my brother-in-law, David, and asked him how bad would it be if Dad's toe started to get worse while he's away this weekend. This latest flare up happened so fast. One day the wound was looking pretty good, the next day it was much bigger and oozing. Now it looks like it's healing but I think he's not out of the woods yet. David said he thinks it will be ok. Dad's toe won't fall off in a day.
Jeez-o-friggin' pete! Dad's vile, old toe is a presence in my life! When he dies I'll be haunted by it!
Just sitting, even for 5 or 10 mins can make a difference. Whatever you're doing, it's right and it will get more right as you continue doing it.
I think you did the right thing by calling his friend so that he at least gets his antibiotics...that will stave off any infection. And if he hurts it, it will be more pain for him, not necessarily a detached toe.
A toe ghost...bwhahahaha.
rlyafecu: fecal matter full of unidentified, undigested food.
First let me say EW!
I think the next time he accuses me of sticking my nose where it doesn't belong and orders me not to call unless there's something really wrong I'm going to tell him I'm going to do what I think is best and yes, I will call and get things handled because his well-being is more important than coddling his pride. He would say the same thing to me if our roles were switched.
The toe looks much better this morning. Gotta keep checking it because it can flare up fast. I have to call him every night to make sure he takes those evening meds. Sometimes even if I call him he says he will and then forgets.
Role reversal, thats the hard part for kids and parents, thats for sure. My MIL still doesn't see (or admit to us) the things we did for her as taking care of her needs. But I know better and that makes me feel better.
Can you call your dad during his weekend?
wtckqgxb: Word verification code
I can call him. The guy I talked to gave me his cell phone number. He'll also help Dad to remember to take his meds. I'm sure it'll be fine.
I'm enjoying myself today. I'm working on that painting I started when I was visiting Dean. I'm painting and listening to Fiona Apple. Tonight I'm walking with Jeff.
We all seem to be shrinking. Jim's clothes are getting looser on him. Lindsay has all that love energy that's eating up calories and making her thinner. Paige is looking pretty good. Those guys aren't really trying too hard to lose weight but it's happening anyway. Lindsay said even Kyle has dropped a few pounds.
Back to painting!
By the way everybody, today is Virginia's birthday.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, VIVAGE!!!!
vdiopw- a stinky video
Thanks for the bday shout-out!
I think this warm weather helps a ton, it's easier to get up and go do something physical when it's not too cold and not too hot.
I'm teaching between 6 & 7:15, you guys could come by the studio and peer in the window. I promise I won't make you stand on your heads!
dizhopn: When you fall out of headstand!
Oh jeez, what a big dope! Today is Dad's birthday, too! Since it's on my calendar it's been staring me in the face all day and I still spaced it out.
So, Happy Birthday, Dad!
We're going to take him out for dinner tomorrow night. Guess I'll miss meditation class this week.
Jeff and I stopped by the yoga studio after our walk. Virginia invited me to stay soooo tonight I had my first yoga lesson ever. I really enjoyed it. It's kinda HARD. I was hyper aware of the force of gravity pulling on my body. There were a few poses I just couldn't do because I didn't have the strength. I liked the stretches. What I really enjoyed was watching Virginia. She makes it all look so pretty.
Oops, gotta go get Paige.
Thank you, Virginia, for inviting me to stay!
cgpvuagr- a really difficult yoga pose
Good golly! I went to get Paige just now and on our way back we were following a fire truck headed to (!) the corner of Phoenix and Central! Yep, another car accident! It had just happened! It looked like a head-on left turn bash.
Hmmm, maybe, just maybe there needs to be a left arrow signal there, eh?
You did good in class! Yah, yoga can be hard to do when you first do it but you'll be amazed how quickly you'll start moving easier and getting stronger. Keep coming and I'll make ya sweat and get more flexible! Not to mention a lot stronger!
Good God, no more accidents on that corner! Aren't ya glad you were a few mins behind the accident?
I hope your dad had a good bday, I did!
Thanks Dean! Oh, I hope your mini-vacation was fab.
plioa: grain, not for eating
Last night Jeff told me about a friend of his who was diabetic and had a drinking problem. This guy got a blister on his heel that RAPIDLY developed into a horrendous infection. He lost his whole leg.
I was pretty surprized at how fast Dad's toe infection went from just a little red spot to a nasty, oozing thing that went the length of the toe. Alarming, really. If he lost his toe it would be pretty bad. If he lost his foot it would be a disaster. I really think if that happened he'd go into a nosedive. At that point we'd be hiring some in-home help quick. I can't imagine being his caregiver after losing a major limb. Physically and psychologically he'd be a wreck.
Doni mentioned that we've been using the car "since Lindsay's accident," which was two weeks ago, but as of today it'll be one week since we returned the insurance-provided rental car.
spycz - tasty spies (or undercover spices)
Yeah, so he really doesn't have much to squawk about.
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