Toe woe

Dad's toe looked pretty gnarly this morning so we went to the VA. He didn't have an appointment so we had to do the wait, wait, wait, wait thing. They looked at, bandaged it up and sent him home with antibiotics.

I want a nap.

Moobeard

This morning Lindsay showed us the music for Kyle's cartoon, Moobeard the Cow Pirate. We heard the theme song and the audio of the voices with the background music. We also heard some of Kyle's voice work. Holy cow! (Heh,heh!) The music was done by Andy Paley, who does the music for Sponge Bob. What a cool, cool thing. It's been fun to see all the pieces come together.

I love the theme song! I want to learn it and perform it! I don't know where, tho. Play it in a bar and people would go "Hunh?"

It's also fun seeing Lindsay so happy. She's having fun with her fun boyfriend. Fun, fun, fun. Dude, I'm down with the fun.

Our crop o' crawdads is doing fine so far. Still haven't found the first one, tho. Jeez, how far can an out-of-water crawdad crawl?

I'm still feeling good. All that dieting and exercise seem to be working, My clothes are fitting looser. I'm shortening my bra straps. Wheeee-hoo!

We got the settlement offer for Lindsay's car. We're getting $1,950. We've got to get a replacement pretty quick so our new project is cheap car shopping. Joy, joy, joy.

But hey, for now things are pretty good.

Live bait rescue

I took Paige shopping this afternoon. She needed (?) a new backpack so we went to Sports Chalet. Next to the wall o' backpacks there was the fishing section. Right there in the aisle was a trough of crawdads. Of course Paige had to have one. We talked a while about whether or not a crawdad could live for long in our aquarium. We decided a crawdad's chances would be better with us since he would either die neglected in that trough or he'd meet his Crawdaddy at the end of a fish hook.

We picked out the biggest, reddest, prettiest crawdad and took him (her?) home. Paige named him Sporty because we got him at the Sports Chalet. We put him in the aquarium right away. Them fishies were confused! Sporty seemed to settle in nicely. Jim did a little research about crawdads and found that they need extra aeration because they're not great underwater breathers. I figured if we get him an extra air stone he'd do alright.

On the way home from NOT walking with Jeff (ahem), I stopped by Elliot's and got some crawdad supplies. I got another air pump, a bubble wand and some algae pellets. I stopped by the studio to let Jim know that I was home. He was on the phone with Scotty. New family crisis. Ruth has had a stroke, her second one. Aunt Ruth is Dad's older sister. We made some phone calls to try to find out her condition and try to decide if we should tell Dad tonight or wait until tomorrow when we'll know more. We decided to wait.

I can't even think right now. Ruth is my godmother. We just came through Lindsay's car accident event. Sporty needs air!

Ok, I'm going in the house and set up the crawdad. Then we're going to band practice. I've already had all the carbs I want for the day but maybe I'll add in a glass of wine.

Good-bye Toulouse

Gotta sit with this one for a while. About an hour ago Lindsay called, very upset. She had been in a car accident just down the street. Jim and I zoomed out of here quick. There were flashing lights right at the corner of Central and Phoenix. We got there just as the emergency vehicles were showing up.

She's ok, not her fault, car totaled.

She was coming home down Central and a guy made an unsafe left turn in front of her. She swerved to miss him and took out a Don't Walk sign and crashed into a big switch box. The other guy smashed into the signal light pole.

Lindsay was wearing her seatbelt. Her chest hit the steering wheel but not too hard. One of the guys from the other car was walking around with a big, bruised goose egg on his forehead. I'm thinkin' he hit the windshield. Lindsay was fine except for a little pain in her chest from hitting the steering wheel. She didn't feel like she needed to go to the hospital.

Pretty crazy affair. The whole thing is a blur. I was mainly focused on Lindsay. I know there was a big fire truck there and a police car. I think a paramedic truck was there, too. Spotlights, flashing red and yellow lights, people everywhere. Two cars sat smashed on the corner. It looked like a movie set.

The police took their reports. It was clearly the other guy's fault and he admitted it. We were told the tow truck was on its way so we cleaned Lindsay's stuff out of the car. For some reason her i-pod is missing. We watched them load Toulouse onto the tow truck. Lindsay was very upset about seeing her car all bashed up and being taken away. Toulouse was her first car and she had cute stickers all over the back. It was so totally Lindsay's car. Now it's totaled.

We started back home just as the tow truck was pulling away. For a block were were right behind it. It was almost like we were following Toulouse on his final journey.

We got home and Lindsay had a good wail on the couch. Grieving for that silly car. Sorry, Lindsay, I just can't look at my daughter sitting there all in one piece and get worked up over a hunk of metal with a name. Right now I'm kind of numb. The outcome could have been so much worse. And so I say thanks.

After she calmed down Lindsay called Kyle. He's going to come over tomorrow and bring some good cheer. It's what he does.

I know I'm neglecting this blog.

I started my weight loss blog so I've been working on that. Don't worry, Curioso. I still love you the best.

Dad has been very stable lately which is one reason I haven't been writing much here. He has an appointment tomorrow with the podiatrist to check on his toe. It isn't healing like it should. I'm going to request some antibiotics for him.

Everything is much better than it was a month ago. The diet is going well and I'm exercising a lot. The future is still uncertain (when is it not?) but not quite so scary.

I need to use these hands and create something. I have a couple projects started that are stalled for one reason or another. Finishing them would feel good. So finish them, bone head!

But for now, I'm going up the Rube.

The first week

I finished my first week back on Atkins. So far, so good. But the first week of a diet is always easy. Most people can get through 2 weeks with no problem. After that I think it gets a little harder. You want results and you want them fast.

I got lots of exercise this week. That oughta give me a boost. I do feel good. I didn't weigh myself before I started. Whatever I weighed the last time I went to the doctor will be my starting point. If my clothes fit better, if I have more energy and if I have fewer aches and pains then I'll know it's working.

We're going to Ken's tomorrow afternoon to play music. Then tomorrow night is open mike at the Folk Music Center. I'm going to do Tin Foil Hat again. I didn't have it memorized last time and I think I do it better now.

That's it. No drama right now. Things are blissfully normal.

Diet and exercise

I wasn't planning to start my diet this early but it kinda just happened. I got commited without realizing it. What really kicked me into action was an article Dean sent me about diabetes and Alzheimer's. Since I'm a borderline diabetic and I'm staring Alzheimer's in the face every day it seems like a very good idea to give up sugar altogether like, NOW. I was planning to go back on Atkins anyway. Today is my third day.

I've been up Mt. Rubidoux three days in a row. I'll probably go tomorrow by myself and with Jeff on Thursday. I want to find some other activity just to keep things interesting.

Last night I went to Vons and bought lots of veggies and low carb bread and ice cream. Today Jim and I went to Costco for the meats. We're stocked up, baby! I'm keeping a log of my carb consumption on my calendar.

Jim says he want to do the pre-diabetes diet that Kaiser gave us. I don't know if I can get Lindsay and Paige interested in joining us. I'm just going to make sure the right foods are available so at least they have a choice. But the bad stuff won't be allowed in the house. They'll have to go out for that.

I sent out an e-mail inviting some friends and family to join my little weight loss group. I haven't heard back from anyone except Jim. Maybe they're all thinking about it.

I feel pretty good. Tonight I had a small piece of chicken and a salad for dinner. I'm totally stuffed. I feel like I have more energy. Tonight's Rubidoux walk took an hour. That's faster than usual.

So, here we go. Let's see how we do!

Happy Birthday, Stacey!

Big four-oh and looking great. Tonight we all went to BJ's for dinner. This was just a mellow pre-celebration. The bigger party will be in a couple weeks. An even bigger 40-50 party will happen this summer. We'll celebrate this milestone all year. Yee-haw!

Jim and I spent a mellow afternoon at Ken's messing around with music. I gotta work on my voice. I don't think it's fully recovered from those 2 head colds I had in December. It's very hard for me to sing right now. Nope, don't like that at all. I wonder if the affects of aging are starting to creep in? I was listening to some old Polar Bear recordings last night from about 15 years ago. Whoa. It's definitely changing. The voice does have a shelf life. Maybe if I work on it I can keep it for a few more years.

I'm listening to the new Fiona Apple cd (Christmas present from Jim. Thanks, sweetie!). Different direction for her. I think she's pretty awesome.

My art table is mostly cleaned off. I should go make something quick before it clutters up again. But...that's what will get it cluttered up. Ah, well.

Yesterday and today

were pretty good days.

Nothing much happened. How wonderful is that? I got a lot of work done; yesterday the kitchen, today the front porch. Got into some serious puttering. I practiced some dietary discipline. Jim and I went over the Casual Sunday song lists and did some compiling. I've started re-reading the Atkins book. I feel like I'm somewhat getting things back on track. Right foot, left foot.

Thoughts of the future are creeping in at the periphery. (Heh, heh) No, really. I'm getting glimpses of how I'd like it to be. Still too blobby to share here right now.

So I just want to keep going and not let myself get knocked off course so easily. This whole lose-the-job-move-back-to-Riverside-oops-Dad-has-Alzheimer's thing has reeeally been a learning experience. Blogging about all of it has been very helpful. I like going back over my previous posts to help me remember everything that's happened and how I dealt with it. It's also helping me get a handle on what I want to do next.

Still don't know what that is, tho.

But my mood is so much better. Jim's been pretty cheery. Paige is doing better. Lindsay is a big, poofy, marshmallow of love energy. There's no living with her.

I guess we'll make it.

What a fool am I

I've been lounging around in the vortex. Yesterday afternoon was the low point.

The land sale is a-happenin'. The way it's set up we'll be able to live here for a year after escrow closes. After that, wheredowegowhatwillwedoohnooooooooo!!

Well, for one thing, after that I won't be taking care of Dad. I won't be carrying that psychic anchor around my neck any more. Holy moley! The picture of that reality has finally started to sink in. Why didn't I see it before?

So, I'm feeling better.

This morning Jim and I organized the Halloween stuff that had been stashed in Dad's downstairs. I got sick 2 days after Halloween and we never got around to putting it all away. It was a nice project for us to do together. We did it while Dad was at church.

I'm going to start sorting and packing for this move. If we can pare things down to the essentials I know I'll be glad when that time comes and a lot of it is done already. We're going to have a garage sale this spring. Stacey has a lot of stuff she wants to get rid of, too. We can do a big family sale down at the Christmas tree shed. I'll bet Drew and Mindy and Ken and Sherri would also like to participate. We can start cleaning out the barns and sell that stuff. Oh yeah, we're going to do some ebay sales too.

Ok. I'm getting a glimmer. I'm seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Right now Jim is playing The Walk Of Life on Itunes. The hook in that song is peppy and dancy. I feel like Steve Martin in The Jerk when he first finds out he has rhythm.

Ok, girl, don't get too carried away. Things are still going to be rough but at least it's going to change for the better and sooner than you thought.

So, what's next?

Dad has been doing much better in the last few days. Still foggy to be sure, but much better emotionally. The stress of tree season and family visits is gone. As long as there are no issues for him to obsess on he pretty even-keeled. He's even been remembering to take his evening meds on his own.

I know this won't last long but I'll enjoy it while I can. I wonder how the land sale will affect him? That's the next big thing. I know he'll be happy about the money but it means he'll have to get used to the idea of leaving this place. I'm sure he'll want to know where he'll be going and when.

Actually, I'm feeling the same way about our situation. Where are we going and when? This process is supposed to take about 2 years but there are no guarantees on that. We want Paige to finish up highschool at Ramona. After that we can go wherever. I wish we had some kind of plan. So, I guess the answer to that is to make a freaking plan. But jeez, I sure don't have any good ideas right now. There's too much that I don't know.

Like how long will it really take to go through the whole land sale process? What if it's less than 2 years? I'm not too excited about the idea of having to find a place to rent in Riverside with 2 dogs and 3 cats and all our stuff. We've been paying $1000 a month here. How much is it to rent a 3 bedroom house? I think Lindsay is planning to move out after she finishes up at UCR but I don't see how that would make a housing search any easier.

It's more of that damned uncertainty. We've been living with it for 4 years now. It started when things started going south at Agilent. Hell, maybe it's been 5 years. I try not to be fearful about the future but I am. And I know it scares Jim. And that's another thing that drives me nuts. I'm tired of my life being one big sob story. Yeah, boo hoo, things are hard. I really get sick of myself sometimes.

Ok, that's enough. I need to go do something constructive.

Happy New Year!

I'm amazed I'm not hung over.

Kevin and Mary had a little reception yesterday afternoon. Usually they have a New Year's Eve party but Kevin's health has been pretty bad for the last couple months. They kept it simple this year and had their party earlier in the day to make it easier on him. Poor Mary was recovering from the flu and she barely had a voice. But they pulled off a very nice party. The food was really good. There was a barbershop quartet singing in the living room.

Then we went home for a little while before heading over to Ken's. We stopped by Von's and picked up some delicious goodies. Jim thought I went a little overboard but I hadn't eaten much at Kevin's and I wanted some bold-flavored foods to take me through the night. When we got to Ken and Sherri's they said they had already stuffed themselves at dinner. They also thought I had gone overboard. I set everything out on some trays. We had hummus with wedges of pita bread, teriyaki grilled salmon, summer sausage and swiss cheese, crackers, sliced apples, gourmet potato chips and a creamcheese and pepper relish dip that Sherri had. Good stuff. We also had lots of champagne and Bailey's Irish Cream.

Amber and Anthony showed up at around 8:30. She's lost a lot of weight and looks great. I'm very happy for her.

We all sat in the living room and drank and ate and talked and generally had a very good time together. At the end of the evening most of the food was gone. So, I hadn't gone overboard. Well... I did go overboard with the champagne. Oops. I had to take a little snooze on the sofa before I was ready to walk to the car. But I had been smart enough to recognize my overboardness and had a couple glasses of water before I met up with the sofa. Anyway, I feel ok this morning.

Gonna clean house today. Kyle is coming home tomorrow so Lindsay is floating several inches above the floor. We'll miss Spiral. He's been a good houseguest.