Large anger.

Wow, it’s been a while. Damn you, Facebook.

Most of you know about my new job. My new, supposedly fabulous job that is loaded with potential, but at this point is basically a linear move. But what care I, since it could one day blossom into fabulous full-timeness, dotted with bennies and populated with peoples yet unmet? Well, this morning it turned into a major fucking SNAFU situation of what is NOT supposed to be normal!

I’m pissed. And let me just say that anyone who got through that first paragraph deserves some kind of prize.

I first heard about and was offered this job, like, the end of January. Might have been the first week of February. Anyway… I was told I would probably start the first week of April, which came and went with no communication from the new boss (I’ll call her New Boss). A couple weeks later I was called in for an interview (Wait, didn’t I already have the interview? Oh, ok. Another interview). I was handed a piece of paper and told to take a seat out in the hall and read it. On this paper was written two job descriptions. One was Office Assistant, which I was already doing and bore no resemblance to what had been described to me when I was first presented with the idea. The other job description (damn, where did I put that paper?) also didn’t match up with what I had been told, but at least it was close. When I went back into New Boss’s office for the interview we were joined by the woman who heads up the job gittin’ program, and her assistant. I’ll call them Scattered and Vacant.

I forgot to mention that earlier I had a meeting with Scattered. She told me that I’d be working 16 hours a week, but I’d be getting paid $6 more than what I’m making now. I figured that was ok for a start. She also kind of, sort of, told me some of the details about the job, but I left her office feeling that I hadn’t learned much more than I already knew.

The interview went ok, I guess. We talked about the job descriptions and I let them know right away that I wasn’t interested in the Office Assistant position, since I’d already been doing that. So we talked about the other position. Then New Boss launched into a kind of oration, while Scattered sat there and grunted her agreement. It was weird. Vacant just sort of sat there looking like she was glad to be included. I left there feeling a little odd about the whole thing, but I decided I’d keep an open mind.

Then I waited. I figured someone would contact me and tell me when I was going to start. After a bit more waiting I sent New Boss an email asking for an update on the status of the situation. After several more days of waiting I emailed her again. Tick-tock, etc. Finally one day she stopped by because she had a scheduled meeting with Current Boss, and since she had to pass my desk to get to Current Boss’s office, she couldn’t avoid me. She said she was still waiting to hear from the State Department of the People Who Give Us the Grant Money. I thanked her for getting back in touch with me and went back to waiting.

Then one day the news finally came. She told me that the Board had to approve my hire and that they were meeting May 18th and it was just a formality and I could actually start working at my new job on May 19th. Oh joy! I had to wait only two more weeks!

May 18th came and went, and it looked like May 19th was going to slink away without any news of what the Board had done with my hiring approval. I emailed New Boss and asked her for an update. Then after a few hours Current Boss’s assistant called New Boss’s office, but New Boss was out. Later she called again, but her calls were never returned. The next day she sent me a forwarded email she had gotten from Vacant. Vacant said the the contract had to go back to Sacramento for final approval and I would be able to start working at the new job June 16th. Oh joy! I had to wait only three more weeks!

Which brings us to this morning. (Oops, it’s after midnight, so I guess it was yesterday.) I got a call from Vacant the other day. She needed me to come to the new office to sign an Intent to Hire form. This morning I skipped on over to her cubicle and she handed me the form. I noticed that this form contained what appeared to be a couple of errors. I have a sinking feeling that these are not errors, but my first solid indications that I am getting royally screwed. The new position lists me as an Office Assistant III (currently I’m an Office Assistant IV), and showed my pay to be $2 LESS than what I’m making now. Inside my head I heard that Uma-Thurman-pissed-off-Kill-Bill siren. I also felt that old familiar feeling of my throat closing and my eyes tearing up. I had to get the fuck out of there fast. But in my shock and confusion I started to ask questions. Luckily, I quickly realized who I was talking to. I asked Vacant to make me a copy of the form, which took so long I was starting to worry that she was doing it by hand. Not good, since I can only keep a lid on my emotional response for a minute tops.

I bolted out of there and headed to work. It’s possible that the occupants of any car on the freeway that came within fifty feet of mine could hear me screaming a steady stream of, “FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK YEEWWWWW!….”

When I got to work I told Current Boss’s assistant what had happened. Well, I choked out a blubbery description of what had happened and she got the jist. Current Boss was out of town today, but she’ll be in tomorrow. We’ll take it up with her then. Current Boss is awesome, and she’s done nothing but look out for me ever since I started this job. Oh yeah, the reason I can’t stay at my current job is there’s some major reshuffling going on at the college and our office is being, um, deleted. I gotta go no matter what.

After I talked to CB’s assistant, I went to the bathroom to try to compose myself. (Heh! At first I wrote “compost”) My eyes looked like they always do after a cry. One might think I’d had a run-in with an angry lemon tree. I pulled it together and went back to my desk. Just as I sat down Paige called. She had pulled a muscle in her back the day before and was in a lot of pain. She wanted to be taken to Urgent Care. She said she felt bad about causing me to miss a day of work but I was already in the hall punching the elevator button. Gotta go, my baby’s in pain, whoosh!

This must be the longest blog post ever. AND this is just the beginning. I vented to a few friends and my bro-in-law, who works in that office. Maybe this whole thing is just a mistake, or a huge misunderstanding. Maybe it’ll all be fixed tomorrow morning. We’ll see. But this morning (yesterday morning) I was angrier than I’ve been in a LONG time. I think it’s a good thing that all the players weren’t available right when it was going down. I needed to have my little explosion and it was good that most of it happened alone in my car.