Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Facebook killed my blog.

But it's not totally dead yet.

It's raining, like, big time. There's a leak in my roof. I'm hoping it doesn't develop into something big and ugly before I can afford to get it fixed, which might be quite a long time. My job at RCC ends on Thursday, maybe even tomorrow if I get all my work done and if I feel like getting the hell out of there. Really I've checked out of that place, mentally and emotionally. I just don't give a shit.

I've been applying here and there, all online. My resume has been updated and I think it's in pretty good shape. I've applied for several jobs at RCC, but I think I'll never get an interview there. I just haven't yet figured out which hoop they want me to jump through. RCC has become a dead end, but I'll still keep applying. So yeah, after this week I'll be unemployed. Feels weird.

I'm in my usual Christmas funk. I never used to be that way. It's been creeping up the last few years. I just don't get into it anymore. I like our little family's Christmas Eve and I love going to Dede's. I just don't like what the rest of the world does with Christmas. And, of course, the whole thing would be more fun if I had money to spend. But we're in the home stretch now. January is just around the corner, but January isn't without its baggage. So, after the 18th I can settle in and start enjoying the new year?

I'll be starting school again. Just a walking class to satisfy the PE requirement and to get me closer to the front of the line for Spring registration. If you miss one major semester you fall off the face of the planet. I'm glad to be going to school again.

I need to find a way to be happy again. There are some very good things happening in my life, and they're helping me to have some happy and contented moments, but the general picture isn't that good. Fear is creeping in again. Procrastination has me by the ankles. The inertia sofa beckons.

SO! I blog! Wow! I just realized that this IS helping me to feel better. I do enjoy writing. I enjoy the creative act of getting it all down in a way that entertains me (and you). Ok, that's one treatment for this funk I can try.

I feel like I need something to look forward to. It would also help if I felt like I was in control of some aspects of my life. Ok, so make plans. Going to school is good. Exercise is good. Taking this class means I'll be walking every day for six weeks straight. I was thinking it might be fun to volunteer at KVCR. Just a thought.

Ok, what are some other positive things I can include in my life?

Joining the Claremont ukulele group (I haven't played much in months).
Work on the house. Progress on the front bathroom is kind of actually happening.
Diet (New Years resolution anyone?). No, really, I have to to qualify for bariatric surgery.
Make some art, bitch!

Wow, that rain is really coming down.

4 comments:

Mommala said...

Getting credit for walking is EPIC!
All that rain is surely a downer-especially now that you've sprung a leak :(
Enjoy your free time away from the negative job- I've been unemployed for almost 2 years and I have gone through a weird passage where I was once a Type-A- get-it-all-done NOW person and now that I've learned to relax and enjoy I'm a -oh well-if-it-gets-done-ok-if-it-doesn't-OK too!

Donita Curioso said...

I just like the idea of hauling my ass out of bed every morning and walking for 2 hours.

Looks like we're getting a break from the rain. Hopefully things will dry out before the next deluge.

Anne, I think I will enjoy the time off for a little while. Can't get too comfy, tho. Gotta make some bread!

T2 said...

Yeah, make some art, bee-otch.

Even if it's shitty art, make something. Come over to the studio and make something here in South Orange County. We DO allow people from the IE to visit now and again. You may need a pass or temporary visa, but I'll vouch for you.

Reading "The War of Art" which is about artistic blocks. It's an easy, to-the-point read. It's best to re-read the thing a couple of times, me thinks.

Really hope to see you, Donni. Big hugs.

Terry T

Donita Curioso said...

Ohh, that book sounds like something I could really use. And getting together with you sounds like a good kick in the pants. Yes. let's do it!