I haven't blogged much lately. Can you tell?
Not much is happening lately. I've been working on the house and going to school. Still working two days a week at RCC. Every once in a while I'll find something fun to do. My new friend, Tracey, and I have started going to the uke circle in Huntington Beach on Thursday nights. It's a fun group. And Tracey has a FastPass so the drive ain't so bad.
Poor Tracey! He house was burglarized last weekend. She knows who did it but she can't seem to get the police to care enough about it to investigate. I'll get an update from her later.
I'm fretting a little about some upcoming expenses. I have to pay my property taxes and get some homeowner's insurance. Now that the house is officially mine I have to deal with this stuff. I need to buy a mattress and a bed. I really want to get a treadmill,(and I will) but I want a good one and that costs money. The cars need work. And then there's the usual stuff like bills. It galls me that every month I have to shell out $600 for health insurance for Paige and me.
My hours at work were cut for the summer but I didn't get them back. I really could use those two extra days per month. Things just suck everywhere right now.
I just re-read the posts from last year. Yeesh! I still can't believe we went through all that. It's been harder for me to keep a positive attitude lately. I was always a naturally happy person but that's no longer the case. Some days are just a fog. When I do have a good day, like yesterday, I really appreciate it. And yes, I'm still on antidepressants. It helps but they don't cure everything. And then there's those approaching holidays. Can we skip it this year?
Aren't you glad you tuned in?
I think there's a lot of stuff wrapped up in this Katamari ball. Money worries, Jim's birthday, the holidays, the sad anniversary of 1/18, plus all of life's other disappointments, all bound up in a ribbon of fear. Yee-haw! Right now all I can do is get through it and try to find some enjoyable things to do until, say, February.
It'll be ok. I am making progress. I'm just never sure if I'm doing it right.
5 comments:
It's the damned time change. Less sunlight and the fact that the holidays are always stressful at the best of times.
Something that helps me is to write down the things I am thankful for. Every day.
mogidde = u get mo' giddy as you become more focused on gratitude.
Doing it alone is the hard part. Thank goodness you have friends that care about you and dare I say...."Love you"?
Take it a day at a time and at the end of the day write down a couple things that impacted you positivly that day.
I used to make my oldest son who was quite the pessimist do this when he was 10 years old. He had to keep a notebook and write something positive that happened to him that day. He HATED it. It helped though, and now he's a functioning adult ......usually.
And some days just functioning is enough.
We love you, love you, love you!
There,does that help?
:) Mary & Jon
Yes, it helps! Thanks, guys.
I do know I have a lot to be thankful for. Really I do. Life just has that pesky way of going up and down. Today was pretty good. I was feeling restless and aimless (which I hate almost more than feeling down) so I went outside and just started raking dirt. That kind of pointed me in the direction of the garage and I ended up doing a lot of cleaning and sorting. Good stuff. Then I saw Drew coming up my driveway carrying a patio table that had been my dad's. He had also brought me a couple of patio chairs. We ended up chatting for about an hour. It was really nice. I loves me brudder.
Cleaning and sorting are two really great activities for me right now. It takes a while to be able to see the progress but then, poof, suddenly you're looking at cleared out space. And THAT is almost as good as Prozac.
Ugh. Everything all at once. You're supposed to be the cheerful one and I'm the cynical one! We can't both be crabby cynics. I had dibs before you.
poloothi = pbbbbbbth
dean
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