Gums and mams

I finally went to see a dentist this morning. After a major gagging session to get some xrays, he gave me an interesting mix of observations about my whole oral area. My tissues are in great shape, like a teenager's he says. But I've got some bone deterioration around my back upper molars (read expensive). I've got to see another doctor about that. I don't really have any decay but one of my fillings is starting to fail, one molar looks a little iffy and he wants to fix the chipped lower front tooth to keep it from decaying. Ka-ching! Well, I knew that going in.

After that appointment I went to Kaiser for a mammogram. Always great fun, that. I was supposed to go back in April but you know how time flies when you're avoiding the painful squish. I'm glad I did it. I got two major health maintenance chores out of the way in one day. I also dropped off a carload of stuff at the thrift store. More out than in!

I'm going to put off buying a car for a while. I need to wait and see how things settle out financially.

I'm in a list-making phase right now. Every time I have a little time to kill I make lists. Too much is rattling around in my head. Making lists helps me organize my thoughts and helps me re-assess what's so about my life right now. I had my whole big chalk board covered with lists and I've been merrily erasing the different items as they get handled. Love that.

Lindsay called the other day and announced with delight that she and Kyle have found an apartment. That means their furniture and stuff will be moving out of my house. Yay! They get to start their life together on their own and I get that bedroom. The tile game gets to make a few moves. One of those moves involves buying a treadmill and putting it in that room.

Cooler weather is coming and the show I'm doing with that church downtown will be over Sept. 13th. School will be starting soon. I'm going to try to knock out two classes this semester. Progress!

I bounce back and forth between being happy about my future plans and being dissatisfied and bummed out about the uncertainties that still swirl around in my life. It still boggles my mind that I'm on my own. I still feel like I can't fully trust my decisions. Jim and I always made our major life decisions together. He was almost always too timid and cautious and I was always the one who wanted to take some risks and be more adventurous. I'm sure his caution kept us from making some big mistakes, but I also know that it held us back in some ways and there were times when I resented it. So, ok, now I'm free to go nuts and it doesn't feel all that great. Damn it, I used to be so much happier.

But hey, what do I have to bitch about? I don't have a mortgage and I have a job that still has the potential to turn into something really great. I've got two good legs and a brain that works pretty well most of the time. I've got money in the bank. My girls are doing just fine.

See? Bouncy, bouncy.