Surly

I hate everybody.

Except you guys. What a morning.

When Jim died the hospital overcharged me $1,900. They notified me in a letter back in August. In September they sent me a check made out in Jim's name. I called them and they said to send it back to them and they'd issue a new one. I called them in November. I called them in March. The other day I got another check made out to Jim. I deposited that one hoping they wouldn't catch it. They did and stopped payment on it. I called them this morning to try once again to get it straightened out. This time they told me they couldn't issue one in my name because of the way Jim signed the consent form at the hospital.

Did anyone hear my head explode this morning?

Jim didn't sign any fucking consent form!!! Don't tell me you can't issue check in my name. Don't tell me you're putting in a "request" for a new check. Don't tell me you'll check to see "if" they'll issue a new check. What I want to hear is, "Yes, ma'am. I will PERSONALLY walk this over to the finance department and TELL them to issue you a new check IMMEDIATELY while I stand there and wait for it and then I will IMMEDIATELY put it in the mail. Please accept our apologies for acting like brainless robots who can't deviate in any way from company policies to correct a human error. You would be well within your rights to demand interest on that $1,900 plus the $11 your bank charged you for the check we stopped payment on. But since that would require a direct order from God, we won't push it. Just know that I will not rest until that check, with your name on it, is in your hands."

That's what I want to hear.

After that I drove to Kaiser for a check-up. Ok, a word of advice here. Don't try dealing with a heartless, brainless bureaucracy just before a doctor's appointment where the first thing they will do is take your blood pressure. It actually wasn't that bad but they did have to take it twice to get a better reading. I was also pleasantly surprised that I haven't gained as much weight as I thought. I'm only up seven pounds from last year. I talked to the doc about the numbness I occasionally feel in my right leg and she thinks it's just a sciatica problem. Gotta get to that chiropractor. I also told her about my anxiety attack and she said not to worry about it unless it happens again. She said taking the Xanax and the propranolol was the right thing to do. So, that was all good. Next, the mammo.

I went downstairs to get the mammogram. The gown they gave me probably would have fit Virginia perfectly. I went to the mammo waiting room an found myself surrounded by women wearing gowns that would have kept Mama Cass nicely covered. WTF? I was sitting there struggling to keep one boob covered. I had to hold a magazine in front of me. My mood deteriorated further. When the technician came to get me I asked for a bigger gown. She handed me one that was the same size as the one I had on. Oh well, at least it was bigger than a magazine.

The mammogram I had last year was the best one ever. That technician really knew what she was doing and the whole procedure was only mildly uncomfortable. This bone head was the complete opposite. In fact, it was the most painful mammogram I've ever had. She pinched my skin and dug her fingernails into me. She didn't tell me how to position myself, she just pushed me and pulled on my skin. And she kept trying to chat with me. Any blind retard could have seen that I was ready to lose it. The tone of her voice was condescending. She asked me three times if I had any questions. At one point while she was blathering on and I was crunched in that vise I just told her, "You have to hurry." I think that's when she finally got that I was ready to go off. Afterward, she had me change my clothes in the mammography room instead of going back to the dressing room.

After that I went to Norm's for some breakfast. The orange juice was warm and my breakfast was cold. Perfect.

I'm going to work now. After that I'm walking the Rube. I need it!