Dad really went off tonight. Really, like, off.
Stacey and Drew were here. When Dad was in the sales shed Stacey noticed that he was wearing her glasses. She said, "Dad you're wearing my glasses! No wonder I couldn't find them at home." He insisted they were his glasses, that he'd had them for two years. Now, I saw him wearing them a few days ago and I knew they weren't the ones he had gotten after his cataract surgery. I thought it was an old pair. They just looked wrong on him. Stacey figured out that he had been at their house a couple weeks ago watching a game. He must have picked them up and put them on and then wore them home. After a brief argument she took them back from him.
This conversation took place just after Drew and Dad had come back from getting everyone dinner at Taco Bell. He took his burrito up to the house. After a while he came back down and started griping at ME about his glasses. He said (to me), "Those are my glasses and I want them back!" We tried to explain it to him again but he just got more agitated. There were customers around so Stacey took him out to her car so they could talk about it. After a few minutes I went out there. Oh...my...god...!
Dad's eyes were wild and vacant. She kept trying to explain about the glasses and I was trying to help her. He would have none of it. He was seriously out of control. It was the weirdest thing! He started making wild accusations, mostly about me. Like, I'm in his house all the time and I'm taking things and messing with his mind because I want him to die so I'll get three million dollars and blah, blah, blah! He was over the edge.
I went to the sales shed and called Jim and told him to bring a pair of my glasses down. I figured he could use them until we found his. Earlier Dad had been complaining about his glasses not being good enough. Of course they weren't! They weren't his! My glasses are a bit stronger than Stacey's so I figured they'd work better for him. I took them over to Stacey's car. Dad was still wild-eyed, still spewing venom, aimed mostly at me.
After a while I couldn't deal with it anymore and walked up to our house where I unloaded the story on Jim. I stayed about 10 minutes and then went back down. While I was gone Stacey had tried to get Dad to go back to his house. He refused to go and actually hit her on the arm! Then he wanted to drive his car back but Drew didn't let him. Drew drove the car up to Dad's house and went inside with him to look for his glasses. Dad's burrito was sitting untouched on the table! We thought he had eaten! What happened was he had gone up to the house to eat, started looking for his glasses, got pissed off and came back down without eating his dinner. So this whole thing was a big, fat, fucked-up, low blood sugar moment. Man, it was awful.
Drew made sure Dad ate his dinner. He looked on Dad's nightstand and his glasses were right there. While Drew was up there I asked Stacey to call him and tell him to make sure Dad took his evening meds. Dad had calmed down by then and asked Stacey to come up to the house so he could apologize.
Ok. I said in an earlier post that I don't like Dad being in the sales shed even when he's in a good mood. One reason is he snacks on candy canes way more than he should. He gets all cute about it (which makes my skin crawl) saying, "Oh here's a BROKEN one, better get rid of it!" and pops it down. He does this a lot and usually in front of customers so you can't tell him to stop. I think today he was riding on a cheap sugar high and then crashed. I'll have to ask David about that.
This was the worst episode I've seen so far. Dad seemed completely insane. Last year his doctor prescribed an anti-anxiety drug that we decided not to give to him because it has some nasty possible side effects. Jim thinks maybe we should start him on it. Oh yeah, that'll go over just great. Dad already thinks I'm out to get him. Introducing a new pill isn't at all suspicious, eh?
Eleven days to go.
7 comments:
Donita, :-(
Heh! Thanks. I knew something like this was going to happen. I'm just glad Stacey and Drew were there.
This morning he was subdued. He didn't apologize. I don't know if he doesn't remember what happened or if he just wants to move on. I didn't bring it up. But I will talk to him today about his candy cane consumption. I've GOT to remember to get some snacks that can be kept in the sales shed. Maybe some protein bars and nuts.
This morning he had his meds and glucose meter in his office. I don't know what that was about. He also couldn't find the dog bowls. He was walking all around the house looking for them. I asked him if he had brought them into the laundry room when he brought the dogs in last night. Yep, that's where they were. Seems obvious but he didn't think of it. He's pretty messed up.
Yes, he would. He can't tell you the names of his meds but he would recognize something new and different. I think the best way to do it is have his doctor tell him the new pill is just another medicine to help his memory. He'd accept that, I think. Another question for David.
I also have to ask myself if giving him this pill would be for his benefit or mine? His stress level will lower drastically once Christmas is over.
Hmmm, I just had a thought. The way his face looked the other night. Through the anger you could see he was truly frightened. If the happy pill can help keep him from losing control he might be less anxious.
Ok, we all benefit. I'm ok with that.
Today he didn't come down to the shed. Drew picked him up this afternoon and took him to Tori's school's awards ceremony. He was gone the whole time. I didn't think he'd come down anyway. Even if he didn't remember what happened last night he'd probably have a pretty strong feeling he shouldn't go there today.
Business was slow. All cash transactions.
It's too bad you can't tell him it's candy.
Can you get rid of the candy canes? Am assuming you have them for customers, but do they need to be at the register? Why not have the people out in the field keep a few in their pockets to hand out to peep as they shop for their trees?
As for the question of who the anxiety meds are for, it really is for him AND everyone around him. Kinda like if mama ain't happy, nobody is happy. Get him to be less anxious and everyone benefits.
The part that is most concerning is that he's beginning to hit. Maybe it was a one time thing, but even one time is too much for a grown man to do to anyone. Even if it was just a little hit, it's a lack of control that indicates how stressed he really is.
I hope tonight is easier.
Tonight was easier. Dad wasn't there most of the time. He started coming down just as I was going up to put Boz (the escaper) in the back yard. I decided to take him around the field to tire him out and get a little exercise myself. Dad said he wanted to go along. Great idea since exercise is good for stabilizing blood sugar. When we about half way around the back field he stumbled and fell (on top of Boz!). He was fine but he grumbled at me for trying to catch him. He said, "Don't catch me, just let me roll!" Yeah, like I'm going to just stand there and let him keel over and roll down the hill, especially in front of customers!
He went back to his house for a little while and then came down. Drew and Mindy took him out for dinner and they didn't come back until after we closed. So yeah, tonight was easier.
Yes, the hitting thing is something to be concerned about. I figured that would show up eventually. I think this time it was mostly because of his sugar crash. More to come, I'm sure.
I think if there are snacks available in the sales shed we can keep him away from the candy canes, especially if he's reminded about what happened the other night. Jim bought him a can of nuts and some Slim Jims to keep in the shed.
I think the nuts and slim jims are probably a good, almost healthy alternative to the candy canes.
Hope all gets better. I walked the roob twice this week. Might be going again today.
I'm a blob. I need to walk soon.
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