Better Today

 Yesterday was better.  I got some stuff done.  I made a list of the chores I want to do every day that will move me forward.  Stuff like working on the tv room floor, tearing up my carpet piece by manageable piece (along with the effing staples), working in the front yard (pulling weeds mostly), training Maisie, and general tidying up.  I didn't include stuff like exercise or housework.  I don't need to encourage myself to get to water aerobics, and no matter how many times I put housework on a list, I know it won't get done.  Why set myself up for failure?

I returned the pen pads I ordered back to Amazon.  The (hopefully) right one should be here by Monday.  Yesterday afternoon I watered all the stuff I want to keep alive during this heatwave.  Heavy, deep watering.  Jeez, my utilities bill is going to be high this month and next month.

My weight has dropped a couple pounds.  I'm hovering at around 200 pounds.  I want to nudge that down. I realized the other day that I might be sabotaging myself a bit because any number below 200 looks weird to me.  I'm not used to it.  It's pretty silly, but I think it might be true.

It's 1:30 and I haven't done anything on the list yet.  I'm off to a roaring start.  Ok, I'll go do something now.  I'll check in later.

Tech Challenged

 There's not much I can do right now on this computer.  I've been running into roadblocks.  Some of them I can Google my way out of.  Some of them are helped with YouTube videos.  I wanted to plug in the hard drive from my Mac mini, but I needed the proper adapter.  Got one, files have been transferred. At least I think they have.  I can't open any of them. When the kids are here next I'll get some help.

I bought a pen pad.  It was highly rated on Amazon, but it was way too hard to install, and I didn't like how wiggly the connections were.  Back it goes.  I ordered a Wacom pad because that's what I had before. I need a special adapter for that too.  I ordered a hub that should work.  It'll be here tomorrow.

I got a new printer, a wireless one.  I had to call tech support for that one.  I got it working, but I really don't know what I'm doing.  Nothing comes with instructions anymore.  It's all online.  The window thingy on the computer is tiny, and not all that intuitive.  I'll get it eventually.  How do I scan?  Once it's scanned, how do I get it into a file?  Once I do that, how do I save it?  It's not like it used to be.  

And fuck Apple for being all trendy and shit with the ports!  The good ol' USB connections aren't sexy anymore.  So now instead of plugging something in the way the whole world does, you have to have an adapter that will fit the tiny port on the back of the monitor.  I know I'll love this Mac eventually, but for now it's a bad boyfriend.

Today has been a frustrating combination of stumbling through set ups, and having a few minor successes that I can't find again once I dismiss them.

I found a scanning service, well, two scanning services.  One that's in Chino that can't handle larger sizes like my paintings, but can do them in a couple passes that I would have to stitch together.  Two paintings, four passes, for $25.  The other one is in Riverside that can handle large formats, but will cost $65 for two paintings and a set up fee.  I'm going with the Riverside store.

I started a sticky note that I'm keeping on my desktop with a running tally of what I've spent so far on this Etsy venture.  $1,134 so far.  I've gone for months doing my best to spend as little money as possible, so this is making me very uncomfortable.  But I can justify it a little because I've gone quite a while without a computer and printer, so it can be argued that I needed that stuff anyway.  I'm really tired of conducting my personal business all on my phone.  Now I can join the normal world again.  Jesus Christ, we're so dependent on this shit.

This is a depressing post.  Oh hey, did I mention we're headed into a majorly nasty heat wave?  Gonna be 112 on Sunday.  110 on Monday, so that's a nice cool down.  Humanity is fucked.

Life Changes

  My life needs to change, so I'm forcing it to.  I have not often been successful at making meaningful, and desired changes to my life.  Fasting is one life decision that I've managed to stick to, although not as perfectly as I'd like.  There are lots of things I'd like to change, and maybe with this new shift, I can make them happen.  I know how wishy-washy that sounds.  But it's a start.

I'm starting a business.  I need to if I'm not going to end up destitute, or have to become a Walmart greeter, of get a job slinging fast food.  I have talent, and I need to start using it to support myself.  Should have been doing that all along.  All my life I've been a late bloomer.  There are reasons for that.  None of them matter.

I'm starting a design business in this modern age, using technology I don't know much about, with habitual ways of thinking that never served me all that well.  I've been watching many, many YouTube videos on the subject, and with each one I'm learning, and at the same time I'm being overwhelmed by how much I don't know.  I can't stop now.  Too many people are pulling for me.

At the top of this page I've placed my personal motto- Right Foot, Left Foot, Repeat.  Years ago, at an amusement park in Missouri, there was a guy making those personalized calligraphy things using Chinese characters.  He couldn't speak English, but I managed to communicate what I wanted through his son.  He smiled and made it for me.  I even wrote down the pronunciation on the back.  It's been hanging in my art room, but I'm moving it to my office so I can see it as I sit at my desk. 

I need to be reminded.  I make it way too easy to allow myself to give up. 

I got my new computer.  Later today my new printer will be delivered.  I've been without these things for about two years.  I've been doing everything on my phone, and getting something printed was inconvenient.  How lame is that?  I had gotten a drawing pad, but installing it was way too hard, and the connections didn't fit well.  They made it so it's barely compatible with Mac.  I'm returning it and getting the kind I had before.  It'll be here tomorrow.  I'm getting myself a Photoshop subscription so I can get started on making my paintings all pretty, and getting them into digital form.  Eventually I'll add Illustrator so I can start designing on the computer, instead of making physical paintings.  Well, I'll still paint, because I already know how to do that.  I don't know how long it will take me to get something that's ready to upload on Etsy, but I will be working every day to make that happen.

So much to learn.  I can't stop.