Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Water hates me.

Water is not a friendly element for me. Sure, I need it to survive, but right now I'm finding it hard to be grateful. I think it's keeping me alive just so it can fuck with me.

The drain for the washing machine clogs up from time to time. A guy at Home Depot suggested this drain cleaner that works better than anything I've ever tried. This stuff is the shit. It works. Usually when the drain clogs I can hear water dribbling out the top of the pipe. Not a big problem. I just add some miracle de-clogger and in ten minutes we're good to go. Well, last night when Paige was doing laundry I heard water blasting out of that pipe. I ran into the kitchen and found a fountain shooting up about two feet! EEK! Usually when the pipe is clogged I can start/stop the washer to get the tub drained before pouring in the de-clogger. Nope. Damn, there was soooo much water on the floor.

De-clogger ain't workin'. Right now I have the washer completely unhooked and pulled away from the wall. The dryer is also pulled out. I figure while I'm working on the washer I might as well change the dryer vent tube (3 years old). I'm going to have to unhook the whole drain assembly and try reaming it out myself. If that fails then call the plumber. Ugh!

Speaking of the plumber. I need him to come out and take a look at the brand new shower valve that was installed a few weeks ago. The shower won't turn completely off and it constantly dribbles. THAT was supposed to be something that I could completely cross off my list, my freakin' LONG list of shit this house needs.

Other ways that water hates me-

A leaky sink faucet in the other bathroom
A kitchen faucet that runs at glacial speed
Broken sprinkler heads
Leaky roof
A yard on the side of a hill that drains towards the house when it rains
A brand new windshield wiper that failed within days of installation
A post-menopausal bladder that demands an available toilet within ten paces or else.

Yes, I know that all these problems are mechanical and not really water's fault. But I'm not letting water off the hook. Air doesn't give me much trouble, except for when it's whistling through my crappy windows. Earth behaves itself rather well, and so far fire seems to know its place, although I know these two could really wreak havoc if they choose to get uppity.

Ok, time to get back to that washer. But first I need a drink.

4 comments:

Donita Curioso said...

I am woman. Hear me roar.

I reamed out the drain pipe. For now, at least in this small part of the world, water is contained and flowing according to the wishes of this human.

Still, water snickers from the vicinity of the shower.

Lindsay said...

Of course water doesn't like you. You're a fire monkey!

Donita Curioso said...

I did have that thought.

Donita Curioso said...

The shower is fixed. Water has been silenced.