Nope.

Still no paragraph breaks. Blogger, you continue to suck.

Testing, testing

I've been having problems with Blogger lately. A kind blogger sent me this link. Let's see if I can make paragraph breaks. Like this one. Or this one.

Wow, soooo much better!

Hooray! A good show tonight! And a personal best for me, I think. A shift has occurred. Tonight I felt more comfortable than I ever have hosting a show. It felt easy and natural. And what a great audience! Another full house, which is always good, but this group was there to laugh. Stacey, Audra, and Scotty's sister, Tanya, came tonight. I'm so glad they got a good show. I'm really happy right now. _________________________________________________________________________ The icky girls from last night were replaced by a cute, funny, HAWT dude named Brady Matthews. Google him and check out his photos. Day-um. Anyway, he was really good, and Melissa Villasenor did a very nice job as well. At the end of the show when I was doing the raffle, Rick came out and made the stretch-it-out sign at me. Again, since it was a big audience the checks were slow to arrive and it was taking some time to process everything. I slowed down the raffle as much as I could, and then when it was over I went into the audience and chatted with the people who were still waiting for their checks. That worked pretty well. No one got surly, and they seemed to enjoy talking to me. I'm going to do that from now on. ____________________________________________________________ Rick was happy with my performance. He said, "Have you noticed we're booking you more often now? There's a reason for that." Awww. During the show Stacey came to the back and sat with me a while. That was so cool. I enjoyed sitting with my sis having a nice, quiet little chat about the show. It really was a special night. ________________________________________________________________ The 10:00 show was a bit difficult, but it always is. Just a bit. We had maybe 8 people. I did my best to give them the same kind of show a big audience would get. They were a nice, polite audience. At the end I didn't bother to use the microphone during the raffle. What's the point? They were just right there. __________________________________________________________________ It's been almost a year since I first started doing this. Last year, on August 8th we all went to see Bobcat Goldthwait at Flappers Burbank, and Tracey and I went into the bar before the show to use the restroom. That's when Deven invited me up to the stage to sing a few songs. Then, on September 2nd I stepped onstage at Flappers Claremont. What an amazing year it has been. _______________________________________________________________ So happy.

Last night

(Again, no paragraph breaks. This blog is broken)__________________________________ Oh man, it bothers me when an audience pays to get in and then they get a shitty show. Well, not the whole show..._______________________________________ The 8:00 was mostly pretty good. Melissa Villasenor is the headliner this weekend, and she's very funny. She was a semi-finalist on America's Got Talent, which helps to make her a big draw for the club. The featured comic was Esther Povitsky, and the guest comic was this friend of theirs who, I don't know, maybe got to perform because they asked if she could. She is an experienced comic, but I've learned that that doesn't always mean something._______________________________________ We met in the green room before the show. Melissa had also brought her sister along. I introduced myself and we chatted for a bit, but it was clear that I was the old woman in the room who was putting a damper on things. I asked them how they'd like to be introduced. Esther said, "Oh, I don't know. Just say anything." I told her I'm just not experienced enough to do that. I need something to go on. she said she'd think about it. Then I asked their friend how she'd like to be introduced. She said her name was Amy. Amy Cheapho, spelled C-H-E-A-P-H-O. It's Croatian. I kind of said, "Wha? What?" She said, "Yes, it's Cheapho. It's Croatian." Um, ok. I said (jovially), "Are you fucking with me, Amy?" She acted quite taken aback and offended, and I was instantly sorry I had put that out there. I tried to save it by asking her if the "ph" was pronounced as an eff, or if it was just Cheap-ho. Oh gawd.____________________________________________________ She said, "You can say I've appeared all around L.A. and I'm a big hit at my mom's Al-Anon meetings." Ok...heh, heh. Esther still couldn't think of anything to say so I decided I'd just say something about how cute she is. And she is cute. Cute as a button. Cute as a bug's ear. Just a teeny little thing. I can do something with that._______________________________________________ I left the green room so I could give them time to roll their eyes at each other and talk about what a clueless bitch I am. Something like that. Anyway, I didn't want to hang around with them any longer. Soon it was time for the show to start.__________________________________________________ The place was packed. A total full house, and the audience was lively. I had only 10 minutes so I zoomed through my set (Middle-aged Woman, Voodoo Doll, Phone Sex) and then introduced Amy. Oh my god. Am I that old and out of touch? Am I too unhip to appreciate that kind of raunchy gutter humor? I don't think so, as long as it's funny. The Claremont audience wasn't laughing much. She got a few good ones in, but I would say they ever really laughed. I thought it was pretty embarrassing. And then I thought about her acting so shocked when I asked her if she was fucking with me. I'm thinking, gee, a girl who tells jokes about her mother performing oral sex has no business being offended by ANYTHING I might say. _________________________________________Then it was Esther's turn. I introduced her with a joke about how cute and tiny she is, and how I accidently sat on her backstage. I give her set about a 7.5. It's this self-deprecating, I'm-so-ugly-and-undesirable stuff that can work if it's done right. There were a lot of long, uncomfortable pauses, but about halfway through it she got 'em going. Really, the stuff that worked was very good. Maybe I'll raise that to an 8. During her set Amy took a flash photo of her, which is a big, fucking no-no. Half the audience turned around to look. When Esther was finished I shook her hand as she left the stage. She has the tiniest little doll hands. I said, "Wow, I just shook Esther's hand. She's so tiny and dainty I just want to take her home, tie her up, dress her in something frilly and set her in front of a mirror." Then a guy yelled, "Turn her into a voodoo doll! Stick pins in her!" People laughed at that one! ____________________________________________ Then Melissa was on. She really is very good. She's a good physical comic and her impressions are spot on. If you're curious, just look up her Youtube videos. She's funny. ________________________________________ With such a big audience it took a long time to get everyone their checks. Like, way too long. People were getting surly. While the staff was rushing to get people their checks, I helped clear the room. Then it was time for the second show. ________________________________________The 10:00 audience is usually much smaller, and it can be harder to get them to laugh. I'm kind of used to that. This audience wasn't buying Amy's icky jokes. (Oh yeah, I came verrry close to accidently introducing her as Amy Cheap-whore. Really!) Again, I was embarrassed for the club. AND this time Esther took a flash photo of Amy! And again, people turned around and looked. When Esther went up I thought, ok, she did a pretty good job at the first show. Things will pick up now. Nope. She was so thrown by the second audience being quiet that she went into brat mode. She wandered around the stage and said stuff like, "Um, what should I do now? Um...." She picked up the menu and read some of the items. She picked up the raffle form and talked about how stupid it was. Jokes that landed well in the first show fell flat, and she didn't even do some of the good stuff she had done before. When she was done I felt like I had to fluff up the room, so I told the joke about turning her into a voodoo doll. It helped. ____________________________________Then Melissa got up again and her energy was just down. People laughed, but I couldn't help thinking that some of them were wondering why they wasted their time coming out. When the show was over I went back to the green room to grab my uke. These girls had left a big mess of dishes and trash for the staff to clean up. I was offended by that. I picked up their trash and bussed the dishes.______________________________________ Tonight Melissa is performing again, but the other girls won't be there. Different feature comic this time. The 8:00 show is sold out. Yay! We'll see how it goes.

Grrr....

Ok, I haven't posted in a while, and the whole set up looks way different. So, WTF is up with blogger? My last big post is one big run-on paragraph with no breaks. This will not do.

Whoa

Good golly, it's been a while. So much has changed. I don't like that I've neglected this blog. It really helped me through those tough times and I like being able to help myself remember all that stuff by going back and reading old posts. And I do enjoy writing, which these days has become kind of important. I need to write. Writing could actually get me somewhere. -*-*-*-*-*- Comedy just keeps chugging along. I've performed twice at the Ontario Improv (awesome audience) and hosting at Flappers is getting to be a regular thing. And that's why I need to write and why it's important to keep up with the blog. I just need the exercise. My song-writing rate seems to be stuck at one per year and that ain't no good no how. I am getting ideas, tho.-*-*-*-*-*- I got a job. I've been working for the last four months for a nation-wide company that, among other things, provides live-in care for people who are profoundly developmentally disabled. I work in the office. It's kind of funny. I applied as a receptionist, was hired as a temp Administrative Assistant, and, if the main office approves it, come December I will be promoted to Office Coordinator with a raise and bennies. This is big. I've spent too many years in financial drain. It kind of blows my mind that soon I'll have enough money. I'm tripping on the concept of "enough". Enough to live on and pay my bills. Enough to do some home improvements so I can protect my investment. Enough to put a few bucks away while also having some fun here and there. It's kind of hard for me to really see what that will be like.-*-*-*-*-*- Other than work and comedy, things have been a mixed bag. I'm pretty much always able to float along in a happy state (denial?), but it hasn't been as great as it could be. Watching my savings dwindle has been a drag. My house is kind of falling apart (no AC right now. FUN!), and it got very, very messy. I've spent the last few days cleaning and cleaning and it's still not done. Still, it's nice to look around and see progress. I mean, I'm reeeeally cleaning. Furniture is being moved, stuff is getting scrubbed. I'm looking forward to the next phase- PAINTING.-*-*-*-*-*- I had a big yard sale a couple months ago. Drew and Mindy brought over a bunch of stuff and we all moved some shit OUT. We put the leftovers in my sunroom intending to have another sale in June. Now the plan is to have the next yard sale on August 18th. After that, no leftovers. It all goes. Then it's back to the old tile game (remember that?), but I kind of like the tile game, and it should be easier because I've gotten rid of so much stuff already. I'm just glad this stagnation phase is ending.-*-*-*-*-*- I'm itching to do something creative and artsy. The mosaic supplies in the garage are calling to me. In my head I'm finalizing the design for my fireplace and I'm getting excited about getting started.-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Oh yes, now I remember what it felt like to spend time with the bloggy. I like this.

Over the moon...

That's how I feel. What a great night!

This weekend was my hosting debut at Flappers. Barbara, one of the owners of the club, invited me over a month ago to start hosting. For me, someone who's just getting started in comedy, this is a pretty big step. I've been wanting to get into hosting, I just didn't know it would happen so soon.

Friday's 8:00 show was almost a full house and the audience was great! Friends, Rich and Cindy, and Tammy and Fernando, Jim and Colleen, and Terry and Sue came to the show (Thanks so much, guys!). Rick, the manager, took me aside before the show to give me some instructions. I've seen several shows at Flappers, so I pretty much knew what to do. Still, getting the instructions was necessary because I did make some mistakes. Rick gave feedback every time I left the stage. I felt pretty good about my opening and my set. People laughed. I wasn't as strong when I was introducing the comics. Before I host again I will be working on my weak spots.

The second show didn't go as well. The audience was much smaller and not as jolly. I kind of lost my focus and flubbed a lot of the stuff I was supposed to say. There was one woman in the front who was just a little drunk at the start of the show, but by the time the headliner (Drake Witham) went on, she was fully quite fucked up and wanted to "participate". That involved raising her hands and shouting, "Woo hoo!" at inconvenient intervals. Drake had some difficulty getting through his set. But he's very good at working the audience and he didn't let her throw him. She was annoying, but he made her outbursts part of the show.

At the end of every show, the host gives away prizes and is supposed to send everyone out on a big round of applause. Rick is pretty specific about how he wants that done. With my nerves and inexperience, I kind of messed that up. Not too horribly, I thought. Overall, I felt pretty good about how the night went.

When I arrived at the club on Saturday, Rick was in a bit of a mood. He kind of snapped at me about how poorly I had ended the show the night before. Not a lot, but it was enough to shake me up, and I could feel myself starting to crumble. I went into the green room so I could be alone and try to pull it together. Thoughts were bouncing off the inside of my skull and I was in a small panic. I told myself, look, you're trying to get into this show biz game and this is not the last time someone will be displeased with you. In fact, you're going to hear worse. You need to be able to deal with it. (breathe, breathe, breathe...)

I needed to walk around and get rid of some energy. I went out front to chat with Onely (sweetness and light). While I was out there I saw Rick kind of snap at her too. That actually made me feel a little better (sorry, Onely) because then I knew it wasn't just me. He was having a tense night.

(Before I go on, I need to say that ever since this whole thing started, Rick has been nothing but kind and encouraging to me. He's the one who first put me on that stage. I will always be grateful to him for what he's done for me.)

Posted all over the lobby were flyers about the show. James P. Connolly was making a guest appearance! I got excited when I saw his name. He was performing at Flappers the first night I got on stage, and he's very funny. I had family and friends coming that night, and I was happy that they were going to get a great show. I went back to the green room for a little while (breathe, breathe, breathe) and then went back out front to see who was in line. Jeff and his friend, Tim, were right at the hallway. Whew! So happy to see friendly faces! We had a nice chat (I told them to applaud wildly at the end of the show. Yeah, cheating, I know.) and then I saw Stacey and Scotty in line so I went to talk to them for a bit. Then I went back in and waited for the show to start.

FULL HOUSE! While Onely was making her opening announcement, I was offstage jumping up and down to get my energy up. Then she announced my name and I hit that stage like I was on fire! Hiya, hiya, hiya, ladies and germs! Well, not quite like that, but you get the picture. Oh man, that audience was great! GREAT! They laughed at everything! I was in love! I did three songs, told some jokes, introduced James P. and then I was off. When I went around the curtain, Rick was there and he just threw his arms around me. He said, "You knocked it out of the park, kiddo!"

YES!

I went back to the green room (fortunately it was empty) and did a happy dance, punctuated by fist pumps and giggles. I was higher than a fucking kite. It was an amazing feeling. Then I went back out for the rest of the show. It went fairly well. Still some mistakes and wavering focus, but overall pretty good, and I was HAPPY! After the show I saw my friend Chuck Craw. I hadn't seen him before the show and I was so glad that he had come. Then I talked to Lindsay, Paige, Kyle, and Samy for a bit. We all went out front for a big hug fest. Then I had to go back in and reset for the next show.

Heh! Big difference for the 10:00. Twenty-two people in the audience and they were like statues compared to the earlier show. Yeah, ok, whatever. I didn't care. I think they still enjoyed it. We got mild chuckles instead of guffaws. Some audiences are like that. You still need to work just as hard for them as the ones who love everything you do. After the show I went back to the green room to fill out a W9 form. Yep! I is a professsssional now!

Rick came downstairs and handed me a check. He said, "Donita, I've written checks for everything from a box of cups to paying big name comics. I have never taken so much pleasure in writing a check." He was full of praise and he even commended me on how well I took it when he snapped at me. He said he wants to put me in the hosting rotation. And I, true to form, burst into tears.

I went back into the green room to pack up my stuff. Drake was there. Heh! He asked me if I was ok. I told him I was fine, I'm just a big weeper. We sat and talked for a while. He said he thinks I'm going to do really well in comedy, and he liked my story about how I got started. A couple more hugs from Onely and Rick and then I went home.

As I drove I looked at the moon. I said, "Yeah. I could take that."

Still stuck, but better

Every day I do a little more with the house and every day more items go on the yard sale pile. I'm planning to have it in April. I'm researching and photographing the music and sound equipment and putting them on a blog I created for the sale. When the time comes, I'll put the blog address on Craigslist so people can preview the sale. Time for this stuff to go. Besides, I really can use the cash.

The kittens are almost ready to got outside. I'm looking forward to the day when I can unblock the cat door and get rid of the litter boxes. Paige and I have been letting them outside for supervised play time, and all of them have discovered the fabulousness of the loose dirt in the back yard. Not having the litter boxes in the house will be a big relief for me.

I can't move the treadmill on my own. I started taking it apart and found that the electrical connectors don't really want to be pulled apart once they're clicked in. I'm going to have to call in a professional. I'll do that after the yard sale, which will be sometime in April. Too much stuff piled around the house right now.

That's about it. The job search continues.

Feeling like a fuck up

Not looking for rescue, I just need to vent a little.

2:39 AM. Ugh! I'm feeling a bit off. I hate this restless, aimless thing I get into every once in a while. One problem I have with being single after being part of a couple for so long is I don't have anyone who will just tell me what to do. I don't always trust my own decisions. Sometimes my mind wants to go in a Lucy Ricardo direction and I have to rein it in. Right now I'm working on making some changes around here and I keep wondering if my energies could be better spent doing something else.

But I do want to get this stuff done. I think it will be good for me in the long run. I can't afford to do the major stuff that needs to be done to this house, but I can at least make things function and look better, which will help me feel better. I'm working on getting the tv room ready to move my treadmill in. It just didn't work for me to have it in the back bedroom. I don't know if this will be any better, but I'm going to try it. I've also moved all the records into the house (finally!). All my art stuff will move to the back bedroom. The nice room divider that's back there will move to the tv room and be used as a desk for the record digitizing project. One set of large shelves will be moved to the back for the art stuff.

All this is a lot of heavy lifting, but once it's done, it's done. And I think it will look much better than the mess it's been for four years. AND I can get started on the record project, which I think will be really cool and fun. The treadmill will be facing the tv. If I can sit on my ass and watch Maddow for an hour, I might as well get some exercise.

So, that all sounds pretty positive, but I'm still churning about stuff. I still don't have a job, and I fucking well need one. Soon. I haven't been doing a very good job of taking care of my health (treadmill in tv room, good step), and that's bullshit. It's foolish to let that slide. My car is on its last legs, and I can't afford to replace it. Really, pretty much everything that's bugging me would go away if I had some money coming in.

I'm registered for Spring semester, and if all goes well, this will be my last. Scotty thinks I have enough units to graduate. We're waiting to hear from the Evaluators about the math requirement. I might have taken care of all that at Santa Rosa, but he's not sure if it qualifies. If it doesn't, I'll have to take a math class in the Fall, which would SUCK. Oh well. So here's where I feel like a fuck up. I'm fifty-five years old and I have almost no skills that are useful in today's world. Instead of learning marketable skills, I stayed home and raised kids. NO regrets there, believe me. But, jeez, I sorta, kinda thought I'd have a husband to grow old with. The one I had had a good career and his earnings were going up year after year. I thought we were all set. We both did. Oh well.

So, now here I am. When I worked at RCC I did learn a lot in a short time. I do have some computer skills, but some of these job postings pretty much ask for the moon. I've even seen some that require a Bachelor's degree to do reception work! I know what kind of employee I am, but why should anyone give me a chance when there are so many more skilled and experienced people looking for work? So, yeah, quit whining and go get some skills. Well, I'm working on it.

I really didn't think I'd be out of work for this long. I was surprised when I hit the six month mark. Things are shitty all over.

So, it's more fun to work on my house. It's more fun to do comedy, and work on getting good at it, and dreaming about hitting it big someday (soon!). But I also don't like having that kind of dream, because it seems so foolish and juvenile. Like, when I grow up, I'm going to be a rock star or a pro football player. That shit doesn't happen to real people. But hey, it's already kind of happening to me. The question is, how far will it go?

In the meantime, I pay the bills and watch my savings dwindle.

Bogey's!

Fun night, good show, great audience!

Laura Hayden has invited me to participate in a couple of her shows. Last night's show was at Bogey's Sports Bar in Redondo Beach. She had told me at the last gig that Bogey's is a dive bar, so I wasn't sure what to expect. Tracey went with me last night. We arrived about 40 minutes early. Even before we went in we could tell that this was a rowdy place. From the outside it certainly looks like a dive bar. You could hear people yelling at the football game that was on tv. We went inside. This place is just a little bigger than the Sire. It had two pool tables at one side, the bar at the other. The place was bustling; lots of people drinking, watching the game, and playing pool. Tracey and I looked at each other. How are they going to have a comedy show in here?

Laura wasn't there yet, so we went across the street to a Mexican restaurant to grab dinner. I kept wondering about how this was supposed to work out. I figured either way, it was going to be fun, and at the least, another notch on my comedy bedpost. I had visions of something like the bar in The Blues Brothers, where they played behind a chicken wire fence so they wouldn't get hit by beer bottles. It made me chuckle to think of some poor comic in a sports bar playing for people who'd much rather watch tv and play pool. Would they supply goggles and a helmet?

When Tracey and I went back the whole place had changed. The pool tables were now covered with plywood and tablecloths, and a stage had been set up in front of a big, red, velvet curtain. People were clearly waiting for a show. Laura arrived and began passing out cupcakes (that's her thing- Comedy and Cupcakes). After a little while she got up and started the show. Boy, she has that hosting thing down. One of my goals is to someday be that good at being the emcee. I've seen her act several times now, and she always makes it seem fresh.

I was the second feature comic to go up. I really think there's an advantage in being a musical act. When people see you get up on stage with a ukulele, they pay attention. The table full of rude (like, really rude) women sitting next to the bar all shut up and started to listen. The rest of the audience were just wonderful. I felt we had a good connection and people really laughed. Of course, this was certainly the most inebriated audience of my short career, so that might have had something to do with it. No wonder that some comics at Flappers would get a little flustered by performing for a sober audience (by the way, Flappers Claremont now serves beer and wine). Alcohol does get people in a jovial mood. But it can also switch off the normal social filters that serve to make people aware of their surroundings, i.e. a performer trying to make people laugh. I came armed with a ukulele.

Oh, man. It is a huge ego feed to see a room full of people enjoying what you're doing onstage. This was another audience that I just wanted to box up and take home. On Friday I performed at the 10:00 show at Flappers. The late show can be iffy and for a while it looked like they might cancel this one. Finally, enough people showed up and the show went on. This was a squirrely audience; the room was lopsided. All the laughter was coming from one side. It didn't help that the host immediately launched into material that was just plain too dirty for that group. She lost the room. The second comic had a lot of long pauses in her material that would have worked in a room where the energy was up. I thought she was good, but she didn't get the laughs she should have gotten. I did ok that night, but I was a bit thrown by the dynamics of the audience. Most of the people were seated on one side, and they were the laughers. The people on the other side were like statues. There was one woman right in front who was really enjoying herself, which was great, but she was very chatty with the comics. That can throw you off, and it showed me a weak spot in my performing. I need to learn how to deal with that stuff. Anyway, it was one of the weakest nights since I've been doing this.

Last night was one of the strongest. I was having so much fun with that audience I actually got lost in the middle of Health Science. Suddenly I noticed that I forgot to change chords! I'm just merrily strumming along on C for I don't know how long. I made a joke of it and recovered. There was one guy I particularly enjoyed. He was laughing hard at just about everything. Every once in a while he'd put his head down and pound his fist on the table. Loved it!

The rest of the evening went very well. Laura gets some really good comics for her shows. I feel honored that she has included me in her line-up. Bogey's is a fun place, and I'm grateful that no chicken wire was required.

The Comedy Store

Well, that was funny.

Our little party consisted of Lindsay, Kyle, and Sam, Paige, Drew, and Tracey. One more person than required. That's a "bringer show". You have to bring people. For this one I had to bring at least five.

I had never been to The Comedy Store before. I had read about its history in a very good book called I'm Dying Up Here by William Knoedelseder. The show I was in last night was in The Belly Room and it was produced by Cindy Liebman, a.k.a. Crazy Cindy. I didn't get to explore the whole place, but the area around the Belly Room was pretty interesting. So many offshoots, corridors, stairs and goofy rooms. Very interesting place. The Belly Room, which was created as a dedicated space for female comics but now just functions as the club's small room, holds about 80 people. They had some trouble with the mikes cutting out. I'm guessing a short in the cord. Fortunately, for me it behaved itself.

Sitting backstage and in the green room was interesting. All the other comics, besides Cindy and me, were young guys. I had taken my uke out and tuned it up when the lights in the green room suddenly went out. No one ever figured out what happened there. We all went out to the backstage area to watch the show.

Cindy opened the show. She's not called Crazy Cindy fer nuthin'. She's an in-your-face comic, and she had a good time with my family and friends sitting in the front row. She asked Paige about her boobs, she asked Kyle how he masturbates (his brilliant answer- Manually!), and apparently, Drew and Tracey are now married. Then she brought out a couple comics. Since this was a bringer show, the quality of the performances was quite a bit more uneven than anything I have seen at Flappers. Some of the guys were pretty good, a couple of them were rambling, and one of them was downright hostile to the audience. Newsflash, dude. If the audience doesn't laugh at your jokes, it's not their fault.

Then it was my turn. I don't really remember everything I said. After letting the audience know that it was my family in the front row, I asked Paige about her boobs and I asked Kyle how he masturbates. I made a joke about being from Riverside (people seem to think that's funny), and then I sang the Bosom song. People laughed. Right in the middle of the song a young guy ran up on stage and hugged me! That was hilarious! Someone actually planted his face in my bosom! After that I did Phone Sex. I always close with Phone Sex. I was vaguely aware of some loud conversation in the back of the room, but I plowed on through. And then I was done. I have played the Comedy Store.

We stayed for the rest of the show, which was a bit too long. I was tempted to sneak up and tell my group it was ok to leave, but they were almost half the audience. After the show we chatted out in front for a little while and then said goodnight. I feel pretty good about the whole thing. It was pretty much as I expected.

Thank you to everyone who came out to support me. Cindy has booked me for December 6th. I think that might be he last bringer show I'll do for a while. I think it's a lot to ask my loved ones to plop down $30 on a ticket and two drinks for a show of questionable quality.

I'm glad I did it, and now I have one more credit to add to my bio.

November goes kaboom.

Warning- Impending braggage.

I'm not expecting or even requesting attendance at any of these shows. I just wanted to share the awesomeness. I already did a show last Friday at Flappers. Here's the rest of the schedule for November so far.

Monday, the 14th, Hennessey's Tavern, Seal Beach
Tuesday, the 15th, The Comedy Store, Los Angeles
Friday, the 18th, Flappers Claremont
Saturday, the 19th, Bogey's Dog House, Redondo Beach
Sunday, the 27th, Flappers Burbank

And then there's December 1st, Laff Down stand-up contest. Am I getting paid for any of it? NO. (Well, The Comedy Store will give me gas money.) But that's not the point at this point. I'm getting stage time and experience. I didn't audition; I was invited to perform. Remember, this whole thing was set in motion on August 7th and my first performance was September 2nd. Things are moving fast!

A shift has occurred...

Wow, what a night. I was scheduled to perform at Flappers Claremont for the 10:00 show. I went early so I could watch the 8:00 show. When I got there I went to the green room to stash my uke and say hello. I had taken some rolls of gift wrap for the staff and I wanted to unload those as well. Grant Cotter, who was headlining, recognized me from a show I did with him last month. He invited me to perform at the first show (not too sure if that was kosher, but Rick seemed ok with it). Rick checked the schedule, and as it turned out, they were running kind of short, so there was room for me in the line up. He gave me ten minutes. I had a nice time chatting with the other comics before the show.

Kenny Klein was the host. Man, he was good. Very even and consistent. I liked his style a lot. The audience was great. I think there were about twenty people there. I opened with a little Halloween joke and they laughed, like a LOT. Things were off and running. They laughed a LOT at Middle-aged Woman, more than anyone had ever laughed at that song. I told a few more jokes and they stayed with me the whole time. They were the best audience ever. They loved The Bosom Song and Phone Sex. And again, the songs got more laughs than ever before. And these people were sober!

Ok, so the audience was great, but what was new and different was I wasn't nervous at all. I felt completely comfortable. I was able to take time with the jokes and put the pauses where I wanted them without my goofy nerves messing up the timing. Damn, it felt good. I felt like I was doing it right! This was my best performance ever. I'm really happy right now.

I put my uke away and sat down to watch the rest of the show. Just before it was over, Onely called me to the back. She said, "Jim came to see you, but we don't have a show." Ok, that was confusing. What I didn't know was the second show had been cancelled because there weren't enough people to see it. When I went back to the green room, Jim Pasiuk was there. Onely had brought him back to say hi to me. I felt BAD that he had come all the way from Yucaipa to see me, and there wasn't going to be a second show. He went back out to the waiting area while I gathered up my stuff and said goodnight to everyone. Then Jim took me out to dinner. I hadn't seen him in a while, since I've been doing this comedy stuff. We had a good, long visit. I told him he'll just have to come when I'm doing an 8:00 show. Onely gave him four free tickets (she's such a doll), so he and his wife can come with another couple. So, good, at least it wasn't a wasted trip.

I'm glad I got to perform tonight. At the 10:00 show I was planning to do my new song and I would have had fifteen minutes, but at least I got to do ten in front of a great audience. And I'm so happy about the change in my ability to relax and have fun with the audience. I'm excited! I want more!

Ok, I'm waaay behind in my blogging. Stuff has happened!

October 7th I had my "big" show in Claremont. I really should have blogged about it right after, because at this point it's getting to be a distant memory. It was great! It seemed like half the room was there to see me. Drew, Mindy, Tori, Tyler, Stacey, Scotty, Brendan, Tracey, Hailey, Ray, Lindsay, Paige, and Kyle, and EVERYONE was seated right down in front. The other comics had fun messing with them all night. In addition to having my loving peeps there, the rest of the audience was really wonderful. Everyone there came to laugh.

I've performed a couple times since then. Spur of the moment stuff. Flappers Claremont is home, and I feel pretty comfortable performing there now.

I've been taking Bill Word's workshop on Monday nights to get myself up to speed. I'm working on writing stand-up material. On Tuesday nights, Bill runs a comic's open mike. It's kind of a strange scene. It's not in a club, or a bar. It's in a hotel in a conference room. The audience is a motley assemblage of comics. Everyone is there because they want to build their skills. People will present new material, or they'll rehash old material trying to make it better. Bill videos each performance and sends them to you the next day. I really appreciate him for doing this. Seeing these videos is very instructive.

So! Two awesome new developments! I've been invited to do two shows outside of Flappers. One is on November 19th in Redondo Beach. Laura Hayden produces a show called Comedy and Cupcakes. Her flyer for this show advertises "professional comedians seen on HBO and Comedy Central." Heh, heh! And there's my photo right there with the rest of them. Oh well, someday...

The second show is at THE COMEDY STORE!!!! Tuesday, November 15th. It's a "bringer show", meaning I have to bring people, but it's The Comedy Store, so I don't care. I get six minutes.

I'm rushing to finish this post because I have more to tell, but I'm going to make a whole new blog entry for it.

Update

Last Friday Paige and I went to see Eric Schwartz at Claremont. I thought we were going to see the singing Eric Schwartz, who (whom?) I have been a fan of for a while, but what I didn't know is there's a rapping Eric Schwartz and that's who was playing at Flappers on Friday. Rapping Eric Schwartz is also very funny, and he's a very nice guy.

After Paige and I were seated, Rick came up and asked if I'd like to perform. Um, yes, of course! I zoomed to the car and got my uke. I did seven minutes at both shows. There were thirteen people at the first show, ten at the second. The first audience was ok, the second didn't seem to have a pulse. The other comics had to struggle a bit to get them to laugh. They laughed at my songs, but not at my little jokes. Eric was very good in both of his performances, but towards the end of the second show even he seemed to bog down. The connection just wasn't there. I didn't buy the videos this time.

So, I've got two more performances under my belt. I wasn't nervous at all this time. I still need to work on some stand-up material. Last night I started an eight week workshop with Bill Word. He produces several shows and comedy contests in Southern California and he teaches these workshops. I enjoyed last night's class, but it's hard to get through three hours in a room full of would be comics all trying to out-funny each other. There were three guys there last night who were finishing up their classes, and they were quite chatty. They won't be there next week. I'm hoping things will be more productive.

I like Bill, and I think I'm going to get a lot out of this workshop. This Saturday there's a free beginning stand-up workshop at Flappers, so I'll go to that as well. I want to learn as much as I can before I do my fifteen minutes on October 7th.

Sunday was my birthday. Lindsay, Paige, Kyle and I all went to see the Old Farts Funnies show at the Burbank Flappers. Oh my. Ron Geezer was there, and he was the funniest comic to perform. I'm sorry to say the rest of the show was a bit sad. The audience was small, which I'm sure didn't help, but all of the comics had this old-fashioned style that seemed even older when performed by old people. It makes me wonder, does anyone ever give them honest feedback?

Anyway, I left there feeling encouraged about my own upcoming performance. The October show has been cancelled because they're filming that day. The next Old Farts show will be November 27th. Thanksgiving weekend. Could be a very small audience indeed. I gotta pack the place with my peeps!

For my birthday Lindsay, Kyle and Paige gave me money to pay for my comedy classes. I also got a gift certificate for a professional bra fitting. Woo hoo! I'll be learn-ed and lifted!

Ok, mark your calendars

October 7th at Flappers Claremont, 10:00pm.

That's what Rick told me tonight. He said he'd like to have me perform as a guest at the 8:00 show, but that's not his decision. He'll try to use his influence.

Last night and tonight I went to the Deven and Joel shows at Claremont. Man, they are so much fun to watch. From the time they hit the stage they are in constant motion. So much energy!

Tonight's audience was a bit better. Sometimes it seems like people are just daring the comics to make them laugh, but it wasn't like that tonight. When I first got there and was checking in with Onely, three people came walking out and demanded their money back. Onely asked them why they were unhappy, but they wouldn't tell her. They just insisted on getting their money back. Later, I told Deven about it and she thought that maybe they were unhappy about the two item minimum. Anyway, it was good that they left, because they would have been a big, grumpy, dead spot in the room.

So! I need to prepare for October 7th. I have some jokes and bits I've been working on, but so far my only audience has been my own reflection in the bedroom mirror. On September 24th I'm going to a free, beginning stand-up workshop, and on October 4th I'll be starting a beginning stand-up class in Burbank. That's cutting it close, but I think I'll be ok. The stand-up stuff is just there to link the songs. Tonight Deven told me I can talk to her if I have any questions. She teaches classes at Flappers and she assists the pros when they're preparing for performances, so it's pretty awesome having her in my corner. She's my comedy mama.

Heh! Tonight when I walked back to the green-ish room, Rick asked me if I was there to replace a comic who hadn't shown up. That made me laugh. I could have done it, but they decided it wouldn't work to have two ukulele acts in the same night (Deven plays uke in their show). Rick asked me if I had any stand-up. Nope. Ask me a year from now! It kind of blows my mind to think of me doing straight stand-up without my songs, but really, I should be able to do that. And that makes this whole thing seem completely nuts.

But I can feel my confidence level creeping up. Being a comic was a completely foreign idea to me a couple months ago. Sing my songs, yes. Stand-up, no. But now I can see it like a little sparkling light off in the future. Man, back when I was taking care of Dad and then dealing with Jim's death I kept thinking, shit, Mother Universe sure has a twisted sense of humor.

Looks like she's not done with me yet.

Holy shit, it happened!

It wasn't planned. It just happened. I made my debut tonight (last night?) at Flappers.

I went to the Friday night show for another installment of Donita's Comedy Education. Tonight is was James P. Connelly as the headliner, Laura Hayden as the emcee, and Mike Estime as the featured performer. What a great show! Twenty-three people in the audience and they seemed to be in a pretty good mood. Anyway, they laughed, and all the comics were very good.

After the show, manager Rick came by my table and asked, "Did you bring your ukulele?" I told him yes, it's in the car. He told me I should talk to him later. Eek! When most of the audience had left, he told me he might be able to give me seven minutes in the next show, which was about to start. One of the comics didn't show up, so he asked me to step in. I knew it was too short notice to get all my friends there, but I quickly called Paige, Lindsay and Tracey. Paige had to work the next day, and Lindsay was at the Flappers in Burbank. Tracey jumped in her van and made it there with time to spare.

I basically ran to my car to grab my uke. Man, I was so out of breath when I got back! No problem, I had plenty of time to settle down. I went back through the kitchen to the "green room" and chatted briefly with the other comics who were hanging out there. I was way too excited and I knew I really needed to get a grip on myself. I ducked down a hallway and did some deep breathing and planned out what I was going to say. I'm very glad I've been practicing at home for the last couple weeks.

The second show consisted of Adam Feuerberg as the emcee, Ron Geezer, Rawle Dee, and Mike Estime, with Laura Hayden as the headliner. Right as it started, I ran down the hall to use the restroom. When I got back, Tracey had arrived and was sitting in the back with the other comics. We watched the show together. I was the fourth to go on. There were eleven people in the audience and they were laughing at EVERYTHING. I was grateful and relieved. Really, I couldn't have asked for a better audience, considering no one there knew me.

Finally, it was my turn. I got up there and launched into it. I'm not even sure of what I said! I was both comfortable and extremely nervous. But that audience was freakin' awesome, so we all settled in and had fun together. I loved them! Since this was so unplanned, I didn't have a guitar cord for the uke. Oh well. It worked out ok anyway.

I did The Bosom Song and Phone Sex with a little banter here and there. Everyone laughed in all the right places. I had a great time! I was shaking like a leaf, but I had lots of fun. And then, it was over. I went back to my seat. The other comics shook my hand and congratulated me. Man, I was happy. I grabbed Tracey's leg so she could see how much I was shaking. Energy, energy, pow, pow!

I went back to the green room to pack up my uke and to talk to Rick. He was pleased with my performance and asked me how much more material I have. I told him I have four strong songs and that I could do twelve to fifteen minutes. He said I should be prepared to do fifteen minutes next time. He suggested that I take one of their classes so I can get myself some stand-up material. I told him I was planning to do that anyway. Then he said, "A gem like you doesn't come along very often." Oh my. That was quite a compliment.

Before I left, Ron Geezer asked for my contact information. He has a troupe of older comics, and he said I'd fit in nicely with what they're doing. Then, just as I was on my way out, Laura told me about a bar gig that she does in Redondo Beach (I said I'd be happy to make the drive) and said I should get in touch with her on Facebook. Soon, I'll have a video of my performance tonight. Heh! I'll finally be able to see what I did and said!

So, soon I'll be appearing again. For now, these will be unpaid gigs. No problem. I'll take classes, see other comics, and get myself some stand-up chops. And next time, I'll pack the room with my loved ones.

Jeez, can you believe it?

Thank you, Deven!

A quick update

Not much to tell, but it's somewhat significant.

I haven't heard from Rick yet, and I was getting a little worried that the whole thing might fizzle out. Even with everything that's happened, nothing has really happened. I haven't performed, money hasn't been discussed, and no one is telling me to run out and get an agent. This is all still in the "wildest dream" category.

Friday night, Tracey and I went to Flappers for the latest installment of Donita's Comedy Education. A couple of the comics were good, the others so-so. Any time I see any comic, good or bad, I learn something.

Throughout the show, Rick popped in and out to serve the customers, or just to watch. He gave me a nice hello as he breezed by. So, ok, he hasn't forgotten who I am. After the show, on the way out, he shook my hand and said, "Nice to see you here. It'll be better to see you up there." I smiled and said, "Well, I'm just waiting to hear from you." He said, "You'll be getting an email from me very soon." I thanked him and left. What a relief! The dream is still on track.

And I practice, practice, practice...

Deven and Joel

We saw their show on Friday night. What great fun! Everyone should see Deven and Joel.

Deven Green and Joel Bryant are a married couple and comedy duo. She's tall, lanky and gorgeous, he's compact and rather hunky. On stage their physical contrast is striking, and it works really well in their act. Deven uses her body in a way that seems to extend the height of the stage to the ceiling. She's like a beautiful spider monkey.

Once they hit the stage their energy is nonstop. They toss the focus back and forth like comedy ping-pong. Everything they do is tight and purposeful, and they have total command of the room. The way they relate to each other is charming, and you really feel that you're watching two people who are in love and who love performing together.

For one bit they invite a couple from the audience to come up on stage. One night Lindsay and Kyle were that couple. The couple stands next to a table that has a hotel desk bell (for correct answers) and an electric buzzer (for wrong answers). Deven and Joel go into a little scenario and make statements about the couple, and they will hit either the bell or the buzzer to move the story forward. It's pretty funny. At one point the husband and wife were whacking that bell almost constantly in response to the silliest statements. The room roared.

They did this thing I've seen on Who's Line is it Anyway, where they'll hand microphones to a couple of audience members and have them provide the sound effects for the story. That's always a risky thing to do, because you never know if those people will understand what they're supposed to do. It took some prompting, but eventually they got it rolling. The woman who had a mike never did get it, but Deven and Joel used that and made it funny anyway.

The whole show was really fun. Deven sang a couple of her mash-ups and played her uke. Later in the show they did a funny and rather touching pantomime about the evolution of their relationship. I'd like to see them as often as I can.

They're coming to Claremont next month.

I'm in!

Holy moley!

Tracey and I went to Claremont this evening for my audition. It wasn't really an audition, because I already auditioned, but I didn't know that that's what I was doing. This was just so the manager of the Claremont Flappers could hear what I do so he could figure out how or where to place me. Still, that didn't keep me from being nervous and jumpy. So, I guess it's kinda good that things worked out the way they did.

Rick, the manager, wasn't there this evening, so I ended up performing for Onely (pronounced Oh-nellie), who is kind of like the assistant manager. I'm not sure what Onely's title is. Anyway, she's a sweet little gal and she does a lot to help run the place. There was only one other comic there to audition, so I performed for three people- Tracey, Onely and young dude. The performance was video taped. I sang Phone Sex. I felt pretty good about how I did.

When I was finished, Onely was very enthusiastic. She said she'd pass her recommendation along to Rick. She said she was sure they'd want me to perform there. Tracey and I left and went to dinner. Later we went back to see tonight's show. While we were waiting to go in, Rick came out and talked to me a little. He said he was disappointed that he missed my audition. I told him I'm available any time if he wants to see me. He said he was trying to massage the show a little so he could give me seven minutes to perform (what, like, tonight??? YES!).

The headliner tonight was Willie Barcena. Good lord, he KILLED. Johnny Rogue was the emcee, and Omar Covarrubias was the featured performer. He's a magician, and he was very good. Willie Barcena was supposed to do 45 minutes, but he went for well over an hour. Ohmygod, we were laughing so hard. My face hurt!

Afterward, Rick said he was sorry he couldn't get me on. Jeez, I didn't care! We'd had such a good time. He said that for sure I'll be performing, he's just not sure right now just when. It'll probably be this Friday or next. He'll let me know.

And when he does, I'll let all of you know.