Dede, don't leave us!!!!!

She's going home tomorrow. Whatever shall we do? She's been keeping Dad occupied at the house while the rest of us have been down selling trees. Everything is running smoothly. Once Dede is gone Dad will have nothing better to do than come down to the sales shed and make us crazy.

Tonight Dede told me Dad wants to be trained on how to do credit card transactions. We didn't get a phone-connected credit card machine this year because B of A doesn't have a record of us returning the machine we had last year (I mailed it back to them myself). No problem, we've just been telling customers we don't take credit cards. We did get a manual machine but we have to call to get every transaction authorized. That means calling an 800 number, entering a 15 digit merchant number, entering the card number, the expiration date, the date of the sale and the amount. Dad can't even dial a 7 digit phone number if it isn't already familiar to him.

He wants to have flocking available. We already decided we weren't going to offer flocking this year. We're going to flock one tree for his friend at the bank but that's it. After that, Drew is going to "break" the flocking machine.

We've knocked the prices way down this year. Dad is sometimes ok with that, sometimes waaaay not ok. This could be a fiasco with the customers and the cutters. I know Lindsay and Paige aren't going to want to put up with him messing with the prices. When he gets going he can be very mean. The girls won't deal with it, they'll leave. We've warned the cutters about him but they have no idea how nasty he can get.

His AD has gotten worse. Tonight on the way to dinner he couldn't grasp what we were trying to explain to him. He was getting flustered, on the verge of anger. Dede and Jim have told me about some of the conversations they've had with him recently. He really is getting more and more out of whack.

We're all working very hard selling these money-losing Christmas trees. After Dede leaves we'll be dealing with Dad and trying to head off disaster over and over throughout the day. I should try to be optimistic.

But I know it's going to suck.

Tree season

So far, so good.

We had a bit of a rough start but Dad seemed to calm down after a while. I think once he saw that the whole place wasn't going to fall apart because we were running things he was able to let go a little. Today it actually got pretty busy in the middle of the day. Pretty good for being so early.

We've knocked the prices way down. Dad's trees have been overpriced for years and I'm sure it's hurt his business. We also did a LOT of cleanup work. Drew took down all the dangerous electrical wiring that was hanging in the pepper trees. The whole place looks pretty good and it's MUCH safer.

Dede and David were able to keep Dad occupied a lot of the time which reeeeally helped. David and the boys have gone home now. Dede will be here a few more days. We'll see how it goes after she leaves. Dad behaves himself when Dede and David are here.

These are some long days. I'll be glad when it's all over.

Happy Thanksgiving

It was a pleasant one. We went to Ken and Sherri's.

I got up this morning and made a sweet potato cheesecake and some cornbread chorizo stuffing. These recipes were in this month's Sunset magazine. They were contest winners so I was intrigued.

I'd never made a cheesecake before so maybe it wasn't a good idea to make my first one for the family Thanksgiving. It kinda didn't turn out. I was supposed to have the cake pan sit in a bigger pan filled with water but I didn't have one that was big enough. The center didn't set up. But the outer 3 inches were delicious.

The stuffing turned out just fine. I made 2 pans of it. Good thing. When I was transferring the smaller one to the carrying basket it turned over. Fortunately I had lined the basket with a clean dish cloth so it was salvageable. I left that one home and took the good one.

Paige went to Rory's aunt's for Thanksgiving. TV's Kyle came with us to Ken's. After dinner we went out to the studio and had a goofy jam. We messed around with some of Kyle's originals and some They Might Be Giants songs. Kyle played accordion and drums. Lindsay and I sang and Jim did his usual keyboard thing. Lindsay gave an impressive performance of a Tally Hall rap. Ken joined us for the last few songs. We had a good time. Kyle is fun.

Now we're home recovering.

Walking

I'm kind of amazed at how good I feel right now. I went up Rubidoux with Jeff tonight and I had no knee problems at all. Plus, I went a little faster. I've been taking glucosamine for a couple weeks and I think it's made a difference. Also, today I bought some kelp and took it before the walk. I've been out of that for a while. A few years ago when I was feeling run down I started taking kelp and my energy bounced right back.

So, I don't know if it's because I'm over my cold or if it's the exercise or the supplements. It sure feels good to feel good.

The Mister McGoo of Central Avenue

Yesterday everyone was here. Drew was using a tractor to smooth out the ruts in the driveways. Everyone else showed up here to meet and pick up Dad and go to a big RCC football game in Torrance. The kids were playing, the adults were hanging out and Dad was on a low blood sugar rampage.

He hadn't eaten all day. Looking back I guess I should have shoved a sandwich in his face much earlier but usually he'll eat right after morning meds. Yesterday he kept getting sidetracked. So he's driving around the farm in his car "managing" every activity. Bud Lyon's crew was here tagging trees, David the junk guy was here. At one point he snagged Paige, Tori and Audra and put them to work figuring out price percentages on cut trees. Ok, we're not even getting any cut trees this year. He saw the girls and thought they needed to be put to work. And he wasn't nice about it, either. They made the excuse that they needed to find a calculator and left.

At one point I saw him eating an apple so at least he had that. I left to go to Subway to get sandwiches for everyone. When I got back Jim told me that Dad had run his car into one of Bud's trucks. I guess he banged it pretty good. Dad was acting like it was no big deal but I'm pretty sure everyone else was upset about it. I got back after things had died down a bit but everyone was still walking around giving each other exasperated looks.

They left for the game, the girls stayed here. We decided to go to the movies (Except Jim. He was in hardware mode). We saw Zathura. I thought it was pretty good except there were some holes in the story that didn't get fully explained. The character of the sister wasn't fully fledged. The movie needed a little more cooking.

When we got home I set up the beading stuff in the living room and helped Audra and Tori make some bracelets. They were watching something completely lame on the Disney channel. When that show was over another one came on that was even worse. I suggested we watch Jumanji because we had just seen its sequel but they so totally were not interested because this gem of a piece of shit show was on Disney.

They left at around 10:30. To purge my system I watched Hedwig And The Angry Inch.

Today we're having our family Thanksgiving at Stacey's. No turkey. We're making a very nice steak dinner. So, I'd better get to the store.

Let's knock this one around.

Yesterday was the first time in about 3 weeks that I walked up Mt. Rubidoux. Mostly it's because I've had this nasty cold that is taking forever to go away. I feel better now but I still have some residual crud. At least my energy is back.

But boy, I've lost some ground with my fitness level. Tonight I went up there with Jeff and I know I was going too slow for him, especially on the way back down. My knees have been bothering me. Not good.

I haven't really been able to get back on the weightloss wagon and make it stick. I've had several false starts. Pretty frustrating. And now my knees hurt when I exercise and I wake up with a backache every morning. I'm also borderline diabetic. This weight has got to go.

But I need some help. I need structure and accountability. Years ago I was part of a Thin Within group that was started by some friends and it was very helpful. A few years later I was in a group that was run by the hospital in Santa Rosa. Didn't like that one. So, I'm thinking I might start my own weightloss/general health group. I'd like to meet once a month and start another blog that would be used only by group members. I'd probably structure the meetings like the Thin Within group because I thought that worked really well.

I'm thinking of inviting only family and friends at first. Just about everyone I know has weight issues. Sharing ideas and experiences could be helpful. With so much going on in our lives it's easy to let the diet and exercise efforts fall by the wayside. Having a group to answer to would help me stay on track. So far I've talked to Jim and Jeff about this and they think it's a good idea.

Anyone else?

Low blood sugar

Dad's numbers are hovering in the 70s today and they don't seem to want to come up after a meal. Right now I'm waiting for a call back from the nurse at the VA. Dad's energy is very low and this morning his hands were shaking. He's been sleeping most of the day. Jim went to the store to buy him some milk and some small cans of fruit juices that we can keep here for emergencies.

I don't think he's in the danger zone but it concerns me that the number doesn't come up much after he eats. Most days his blood sugar is around 180 to 190, sometimes up above 200.

Later...

Ok, I just went over there. He's eaten, he feels better and his glucose is 94. I guess we're ok for today.

The day started with a bang.

Actually, a phone call.

This morning at 7:15 Dad called. He was yelling. He demanded to know where his keys were. He accused me of taking them. At first he was accusing me of taking all of his keys. Then he said he found his house keys in the front door lock, which is where he had left them when he got home last night. But he was yelling at me like I had taken his keys and then stuck them in his lock and left them there.

So then he's yelling about his car keys. Over and over I explained that I didn't take them, that David was the last person to drive his car. Dad's yelling that he doesn't want anyone, not even his kids to have copies of his keys. Not to his car, not to his door, NOTHING. I said, too late, we already have copies. I told him to call David.

Later when I went over there for morning meds he was all nice and normal. He said David had taped them to the back of his bedroom mirror. I'm thinking, why the hell would he do that and not tell anybody? Later I found out that David had told him and everyone else (except us) and that the last thing Drew said to Dad last night was, "Your keys are taped to the mirror".

AAAAIIIEEEEE!!!!!!!!

Later today Drew came over and I went over to see what was up. Drew was down at the sales shed checking on the bees. Yes, bees. A swarm of bees have taken up residence in the big, hollow pepper tree right next to the sales shed. There are 3 holes that the bees are using as doorways and the lowest one is about 4 feet up. The bees must go. Yesterday Drew sprayed them trying to get the queen upset enough to take the swarm and leave. Today he came back and sprayed them again. We decided to fill the tree holes with expando foam to either chase them out or seal them up. Just as it was getting dark we went down to check on them.

Dad decided he was going to slap a ladder against the tree and climb up and get a good look. We kept telling him not to do that but he was determined. We kept telling him to put the ladder down but he wouldn't do it. I said, "How big a ball of bees do you want attacking your head?" We finally got him to listen to what we were trying to tell him. It was getting dark so it was hard to see that at the top of one branch was a baseball sized clump of bees. Drew and I figured the queen was in the middle of that ball and they were going to spend the night there and then leave in the morning. Dad couldn't see the ball so he wouldn't believe us. It took a while but he finally saw it. Fine, don't believe your kids. Grrrr....

Earlier we had another fight. He'd been acting like a complete ass to me, barking orders. He was like that a few times this weekend when Dede and David were here and we were all working to get the place ready for tree season. I managed to talk him into giving me the keys to the sales shed, the front gate and his car so I could go get copies made. He wanted to go with me to Home Depot but he was being such a jerk I didn't want to be around him. He yelled, "Don't you turn your back and walk away from me! You shut your mouth and listen..." I cut him off. I said, "You've been acting like a jerk all day, you woke me up this morning with a bogus complaint and I'm not going to stay here and take this!" I turned and left. It felt good.

I know he's not at all teachable. I know that. But the days where he can bully me are over. We're all working to try to help him. We're all going to be here for tree season TO HELP HIM. Jim and I are putting our lives on hold TO HELP HIM. There is no way in hell that I'm going to put up with his abuse. So, even though there's no way he'll ever change and he won't even remember what happened it still feels good to be able to turn away from him when he's being abusive. I couldn't do that when I was a kid. I had to take it.

The Agavero is in the freezer. Later, I'm going to sit on the front porch, play some solitaire, drink some chilled tequila and enjoy the view. It's very clear tonight.

Golly, what a day.

I'm blasted. A lot of things happened today and most of it I can't talk about here. Family stuff, not to be shared. Nothing bad, just reeeally interesting. Well, to me anyway.

So I'm feeling a little worn out. Every day life is this mix of good and bad occurances and situations. I think I'm weathering it all pretty well right now. And... I feel a momentum building.

Or maybe it's the Agavero. I'm unwinding.

I finally feel good today. My energy came back. I'm looking forward to cleaning my house tomorrow (it's gotten really bad). I want to walk up Mt. Rubidoux. It's been almost 2 weeks since I last did that. Jim and I completed the file project this morning. Everything's tip top. Next, I want to start on the garage.

It's getting busy fast. Friday, Dede and David and the boys are coming down. We're having dinner at Stacey's and then have a meeting about recent stuff and the upcoming tree season. Monday, my cousin Jill and her family are coming to visit. They'll be here for dinner, again at Stacey's. After that, Thanksgiving, tree season and Christmas. That's the momentum I was talking about.

Man, I'm so glad my cold is gone.

Happy Birthday to Jim!

The stars just didn't line up right for this one. I'm sick and both girls had other things to do. We'll have to give him a proper one on another day.

But I can at least say thank you for being so supportive and forgiving during these rough times. I'm very lucky. I found the right person to share my life with. He has always treated me with love, kindness and respect. I feel accepted for who I am. He's always trying to make my life easier.

Coming back here has been hard for him, especially since Dad now has Alzheimer's. All our big ideas have been put on hold and he's been just great about it.

I could make a very long list but I'm still sick and my energy is waning. Everyone who reads this blog knows Jim so they know what I'm talking about. I just wanted to say I've got a great guy and I love him very much.

Ugh!

I'm sick.

It started coming on last night. This morning it was a full blown sore throat with congestion. Dammit!!!! I don't need this! I've got things to do!

Oh well.

My GTD file project is almost done. Man, it's been slow going but my files are beeyouteefull. I just have to pull in the stragglers and then it will be done. Next, I'll get Halloween packed up and then we can start on the workshop. Then the studio, then the bedroom. Good stuff, baby!

Bud Lyon's crew has been here the last couple days. Timio's had his boys out there cleaning up the pepper trees and debris. It looks like we'll just need to clean up the sales shed area. We need to get together and talk about how the tree season is going to go. We're not hiring any employees this year so services will probably need to be cut back, like no drilling the trees for stands. We're not getting any Oregon trees either.

Bleah, I'm going back to bed.

Happy Halloween!

Typing a little weird here. Last night I got tangled in a table in the dark and fell on the sidewalk. I think I hit my hand on our fountain on the way down. After laying on the ground for a while taking inventory (landed on both knees- ouch!) I got up and looked at my hand. My little finger was swollen in a weird way and reeeeally didn't look right. I flexed it and found I could bend it so I decided to carry on. I was on my way to pick up Paige from a party. My hand hurt a bit but I figured I was ok to drive and I'd ice it when I got home.

When I was a little more than halfway there (and it wasn't far) a WAVE of lightheadedness swept over me. Delayed reaction, I guess. I debated whether or not I should pull over but it was late and there wasn't much traffic and I figured I could easily pull over if I felt like I was going to pass out. Besides, I wanted to get to Paige because I knew she could help me. So I started talking loudly to myself saying, "Hold it together! Hold it together!" Then when I turned down the last street I was chanting, "Paige will help you. Paige will help you." I pulled into the driveway and she was right there waiting. I rolled down the window and told her to go inside and call jim, that I thought I had broken my hand. She ran inside and came back out followed by the parents of Paige's friend. They were very sweet and stayed with me and gave me water and ice for my hand.

Hoo lordy, I was messed up! I didn't want to get out of the car because I was afraid I would just keel over. Just before Jim and Lindsay showed up I started to feel better. I moved to the passenger side and Jim and I took off for the hospital. After much walking around but not much waiting I left there with a hand brace and some Vicodin. The doc didn't seen anything on the xray except my fabulously intact bones so we were good to go. My hand is bruised and it's hard to use it but this morning it feels better.

SO! I can decorate for Halloween today! Jim is out doing the kid run and getting some Starbucks right now. When he gets back we'll spring into action. I think it's going to be a good one. Several musicians are going to be there so I think we'll have an excellent Bone Band going.

See you later!

BOO!

Stuff

Took Dad to the VA yesterday to see Dr. Griffin. He's in the pink. I managed to sneak a quick word with her to let her know we didn't start Dad on the mood stabilizers. I didn't want that to be part of the conversation.

The reception people screwed up and made us wait an hour and a half past his appointment time. Grrrr....

Last night's band practice was good. It's the first time we've met since Amber quit. Things were ho-hum at first but then we started messing around with a bunch of 60's rock stuff (our roots) and that got us going. The evening ended well.

Today I went to Ramona and helped out at one of the snack bars during the big band tournament there. What a crappy day. I showed up ready to work and they treated me like I was a pain in the ass. And they wonder why they don't get enough parental involvement? They tried to make me feel guilty for taking a break after being on my feet for 4 hours making burritos. The woman in charge sent me on a wild goose chase for trash bags when she had them in the supply trailer the whole time (and she knew it). I was yelled at for daring to ask for paper bowls. The next time they call me for help someone's going to get an earful.

But I got to see RCC's field show. Lordy, they're good. Now I'm home and in my jammies. So, don't nobody ask me to do nuthin' 'cause I ain't gonna do it.

Jim's reunion.

The class of '75's reunion kicked the class of '74's reunion's butt.

It was held at Bill Wolfs' house in Palm Desert. Billy's done well for himself. This house is huge and gorgeous. We're talkin' at least a million bucks for this house. Bill is still Bill, just a sweetheart of a guy.

There was absolutely tons of food and it was all very good. Lots of beer, wine and frozen Margaritas. The dj played the music too loud, but they always do that. Bill has a big, beautiful yard (he has his own landscaping company) with a fabulous pool area and a batting cage. The pool has a fireplace and the patio next to the house has a fireplace. There's also an outdoor kitchen area and a bar.

It was fun catching up with people. I didn't recognize Sylvia Schuler, which was awful because 10 years ago she was one of the people we partied with for hours after the 20 year reunion. I felt like a dope.

Lance Croom was there. I went up and sat down next to him and his wife and said, "Lance, do you remember me?" He smiled and read my name tag and said no. I said, "Well you used to terrorize me in English class." He did, too. Made me cry one day. His wife started cracking up and wanted to hear all about it. We were all laughing and Lance was very apologetic. I was enjoying seeing him squirm. I said, "Funny how that stuff can come back and bite you in the ass, ain't it?" So, 30 years later I got an apology from Lance. Later on he and Jim were at the piano and Lance was singing. Golly, what a voice! I'm looking at this scene and thinking never in a million years would I have thought that I'd see my husband and Lance Croom sitting together having a great time.

Later Jim got into a long, deep discussion with Sylvia about religion. Kinda heavy for a party conversation but they enjoyed it.

We took a bunch of giftwrap and I spent some time rolling up 80 tubes for people to take home. Got lots of nice comments on it.

On one table they had the photos of all the people who had died. Bruce Hockett's was there, he died just last year. John Trujillo died in 98. I saw him at the last reunion. I was pretty sad about those two.

Bob, Julie, Michele, and Danny W. didn't make it this time. Bummer. We had a blast with them at the last one. The Mac Gregor twins were there. They looked great, especially Sue.

On the way home we hit some pretty nasty fog. It was scary there for a while. We got home around 2:30.

This was a good one. Bill kept saying the next one was going to be held here at the farm. I invited him over so he could see the barnyard for himself. He thinks we can get a crew over here to clean it up, no problem. I said just come over and see, then you'll know. There ain't gonna be no parties here no more. Besides, in 10 years this place will be gone. They're talking about having a reunion cruise in 5 years. I'm up for that!

Halloween's coming

But I just didn't have the spirit this year.

Usually, we get the Halloween stuff down on Oct.1st. This year we took it down 2 days ago. I usually decorate the living room, kitchen and bathroom. This year I put up a few lights in the living room and put up the skull porchlight.

I thought I could make some money decorating someone's Halloween party but I cheesed out on that one too.

We're going to do the usual thing at Kevin's. This time I'm going to triage everything and take only the essentials over there. That's a lot of stuff to haul. I might dress up and sit in the witch's chair and do some fortune telling. I think that would be fun. It's always more fun to interact with people.

Some day I really, really want to do a big, huge display someplace. Kevin's yard is small and a tad too precious for an elaborate display. We have all these really cool props for the witch but no good way to display them. I'd love to build her a spooky shack.

I'm going to search the barnyard for materials. Maybe we could do the shack this year. We have an awning frame that would work for a roof structure. All it needs is some posts for legs. Then I could cover it with some fabric that I have. Ok, Sunday I'll do the barnyard search.

Today we saw Goodnight, And Good Luck. Good, good movie.

Tomorrow we're going to Jim's 30th highschool reunion. I'll just bet it's going to be waaaaay more fun than mine was.

My first counseling session.

Just an interview, really. I'm not cured or anything.

She said I need to take time for myself. Actually, I already do that. She said we need to hire someone to come in and help Dad. No, we're not ready for that yet.

Hold on.

Well, waddaya know? Dad came over with a new notice from the DMV. It says he has to turn his license in. He can request a hearing but he'll need a note from his doc saying he's recovered. He knows that won't happen. At first he was talking about trying to get the license back but as the conversation went on he could see that it's futile. He actually dealt with it pretty calmly. We made an appointment for him to go to the DMV tomorrow morning and turn his license in and replace it with a CA ID.

We talked a little about transportation alternatives and this time he was ready to listen- a little. We also talked about tree season coming up and I reminded him about the conversation we all had some months back about having the family do all the selling, not hiring employees. He couldn't quite get that one through his head. He said Dusty has already called him and he was planning to have her work in the mornings. He's forgotten that we were all suspicious of Dusty, that she was stealing from him last year. I'm sure we'll get it straightened out. I don't want Dusty around here. Even if she's not stealing from Dad she's just plain icky.

So we do need to have a family meeting with Dad and discuss the tree season. He's thinking it's going to business as usual. He thinks he can handle it even though I reminded him about the payroll taxes and how much he was fined last year because of screw ups. He said, "Well, we won't have as many employees this year."

So, he still doesn't get it.

Burning stuff now.

This morning when I went to Dad's it smelled like someone had been smoking in his house. Almost smelled like pipe smoke. Dad was laying on the couch in the living room. I said, "Man, it smells like smoke in here." Dad said, "Yeah, that's what I thought when I woke up this morning." I looked around the kitchen and found a pot on the counter that was totally scorched with the remains of 3 tea bags in the bottom. The bags were completely black, almost ash.

He acted like it was no big deal and I didn't say anything about it. It would have started a big fight and I really didn't want to get into it. I remember when Nana started doing stuff like that. Maybe we should unhook his stove. Oops, stove broke. Disable the ovens, too. He's been using the lower one for storage and the controls for both are right next to each other. All he really needs is the microwave to warm his food and make a cup of tea.

He's still driving. He's going to do it as long as he can get away with it. I'm not willing to fight him on this. His next appointment with Dr. Griffin is on the 28th and I'm sure we'll talk about it then. But I think Drew will need to either take his car or disable it.

Smoke alarms. Better get some if he doesn't have them.

Costco

I took Dad to Costco today so he could stock up. If he has a full fridge maybe he won't go driving. We were going up and down the aisles and I was suggesting different things to him and he kept saying he didn't need anything. I finally got him going, though. He ended up buying some lunchmeat and some pre-cooked chicken, mixed nuts, some chicken bakes and small pizzas. I wanted to make sure he had enough protein available so he could add some to a salad or something.

Not a bad day. He was his usual foggy self this morning.

Going to Kaiser tomorrow for a boob check. Me, not him.

Maybe it's starting to sink in.

When I went to Dad's this morning he was confused and very subdued. When we were done with the process of doing eye drops, testing his blood and taking his medication he totally forgot we had done it and tried to start it all over again. He said he's so tired of taking all these pills. I told him that he needs every one of them. He said he'd like to stop taking them all and just let his body do whatever it will do without them. I explained why it's important for him to have them and he let it drop.

We talked about his driving and losing his license and again he said it was just like dying. I told him yes, it's a loss but it's not like dying. He'll just have to do what everybody does when that happens. He'll just have to adjust. We'll all adjust because that's what families do. I explained again that he can afford to take a cab since he won't be paying for gas, insurance and upkeep on a car. He listened for a while and then changed the subject.

When I was leaving he started talking about how it's all so useless. Asked him what he meant. He didn't answer, he just sat down and shook his head. He's pretty defeated. He said something about being at Drew's yesterday and having Drew help him with the driver's test. I guess Drew was quizzing him and he didn't do very well. I don't know because he wasn't really using complete sentences. Then he started going on about letting the whole thing go and he'll keep driving until his license expires. I told him he won't be insured (we've been through this one several times) and if he gets into an accident he could be in big trouble. He said no one will know because on his license it says it's valid until his birthday in February. He said his insurance company won't know unless someone tells them. He said he wished he hadn't signed the DMV papers. I told him all that doesn't matter, that he's in the system and all those different agencies already know what's going on. His driver's license will be invalid no matter what it says on the card. I guess he started to get overwhelmed because he ended the conversation and went back into the house.

He seemed to be more willing to listen to what I had to say. He's doing that different stages of death thing and right now he's in the negotiating phase. I told him it would probably be good for him to try to accept it because it's going to happen anyway. I told him he can deal with it because he's a strong man and together we'll all find a way to make it work. So, we may have gotten over a hump here. Or tomorrow he could be back to spitting fire again.

Tomorrow we're going to see the orthopedic surgeon about his elbow. It's swollen again this morning. We'll discuss what they found on the scan.

And so it goes.

A very bad morning.

When I got to Dad's this morning he was in his office going over all the DMV stuff. He had the copies of the replacement forms that the DMV sent to me. He also had a new driver's license application that he must have gotten from the DMV. He thought they had sent it to him. Anyway, he was very messed up, very angry and very wild-eyed.

I stayed calm and didn't engage him. I tried a couple times to explain everything to him but I had to give up. Nothing was sinking in. Accusations flew. He thinks we're all making a big deal about his Alzheimer's and we're doing it because we're trying to kill him. He's studying the DMV book so he can go in there and get an A on the test. He demanded that I give him copies of everything we have on the computer. I told him we've already given him copies of everything and he basically accused me of lying to him because he doesn't have those copies. There's no way I could tell him that he must have lost them. Before I could say it he started yelling about how he never loses things. He accused Stacey and Drew of conspiring against him. I told him I'd like to tell him the truth about what's going on and he cut me off and told me he'd rather hear a lie.

I told him he should call Dede and talk to her. I told him he should talk to David. That pretty much went right by, I think because somehow he knows they'll tell him the same thing I've been trying to tell him. He said he wants a family meeting this weekend so he can tell all of us to stop talking about him and doing things behind his back. He thinks we're the ones who are trying to take his license away. Nothing I said this morning got through.

He said he's going to take the copies of the DMV forms and the driver's license application and go down to the DMV and get this straightened out. I didn't even try to tell him not to do that. I just hope that someday I'll get to see the security video. If he goes down there and starts throwing his weight around I bet he'll get arrested.

Dr. Griffin is supposed to call me sometime today. She called yesterday when we weren't home. I reeeeeally need to talk to her.