Poor, neglected blog

I think Facebook has killed my blog. Evil Facebook. Pretty dumb since this is the place where I live. This blog has gotten me through the toughest of times. I love being able to go back and read some of the old posts. I'm amazed at some of the things we went through, and so glad to be on the other side of it all. Still, even when I was going through the worst of it, there was plenty to laugh about.

This phase of my life doesn't seem to have much of an identity. I went through those years of being Daughter and Caregiver of Crazy Alzheimer's Dad, and then Grieving Widow. Pretty potent shit. Now things are foggier and more bogged down. Kinda swampy. That tough stuff was tough, but at least there was life in it. This? I don't really know what this is.

I'm such a blob. Physically, things have been difficult. My back was giving me a lot of trouble (fixed for now), and I've been inconsistent with getting exercise. My body and I aren't such good friends right now. I'm kind of ok with it, because that situation will soon change. Other parts of my life are blobby as well. The house still overwhelms me, but I've been enjoying getting some work done. I've been marking things off my to-do list, which feels pretty good. Some things are moving in a good direction, others are stagnant. I've been getting back to my old mantra- More out than in, more out than in... Today I took a carload of stuff to donate to the Ramona cheer squad's rummage sale. Yes, it's come to this. I've donated to cheerleaders.

The blobbiest thing of all is my shitty job. Man, I wish just one person there knew what it's all about. Those of us who are new certainly don't know, but damn, shouldn't the people who've been there twenty years have it down by now? There's no real leadership in that office. No unity or caring. No teamwork. Everyone is just doing their own job.

Today I snuck off to an empty office and poked around looking at job postings and websites. Technically it's kosher, because that's part of what we do. But I wasn't trying to find a job for someone else. I filled out the job search page on the Kaiser website. It didn't come up with a single match for the criteria I entered. Getting the hell out of the DSPS office is going to take some time.

This isn't the lowest point of my life. Things are hovering just below the neutral line. It's time for a kick in the ass. A big, juicy project would help. I've barely touched my uke in the last couple months. I guess I just need something to get excited about. Ok, that's it. I'm calling a plumber tomorrow. Time to take on that front bathroom.

Happy Birthday, Paige!

Yesterday she went to the beach with her friends. Today Lindsay and Kyle came to town and we all (including Tracey) went to Joe's Sushi. We had a great time. Gin (sp?) the manager (or owner. I don't know which) really likes us. It's pretty cool. Whenever the kids go without me he always asks about me. When I'm there he'll always send over a glass of wine or some sake. Sometimes it's a whole bottle of wine or sake. Tonight it was sake for Tracey and me. We all got the all-you-can-eat sushi, but he also sent us a complimentary plate of sashimi. When we left he gave Paige a $50 gift certificate. Jeez, what did we do to deserve such special treatment? We only go to Joe's for every special occasion. Every birthday, graduation, every whatever.

I re-read my last post. Man, things at work haven't changed much. I applied for one of the library positions, but I haven't heard anything back. The wheels turn slowly. I reeeally hope I get one of those jobs. I can't wait to get out of DSPS. My attitude is so cynical towards that place and this job. That is not my usual M.O. When I was at the District office I loved going to work. Now I dread it. This can't go on.

Paige and her friends went to court the other day to try to get the restraining order against the stalker made permanent. The judge denied it. Kind of scary, but that same afternoon we got a call from the police officer who processed our police report. He seemed very keen on contacting the guy for a "friendly" visit. It was great talking to him. I'd love to know how it turns out.

Broadway in the Basement went really well. Too bad there were only two performances. Two more would have been fun.

Now I'm in get-life-back-to-normal mode. My back started acting up towards the end of rehearsals. I have my second chiro appointment tomorrow (today?). It's not as sensitive as it was and I'm hoping one more visit will end this current episode of spasms and pain. I've been working on getting the house back in order. I want it to get back to being guest-ready at a moment's notice.

My tomatoes are really kicking out now. They're so good and juicy. I've made three big batches of salsa so far. Sometimes when I'm watering the vines I'll just graze. Damn, they're good.

It's late. Time for bed. Busy day tomorrow.

Catching up

So. Started the new job. The first few days were fairly awful. We were given piles of work to do but there was nothing set up for us to be able to do it. No one's RCC email was set up, no one had access to the programs we needed and there was almost no space to work. That office has too many people working in it and they just hired six new student employees. We are stumbling all over each other. It's a little better now that things are mostly set up. I was able to get most of my tasks done. Right now it's hard for me to see how this is going to be successful.

I really like the women I'm working with. I'm talking about the new hires. Communication is very good and everyone has done the best they can taking on their new jobs. I have a lot more faith in my team than I have in the people who run the place. They are professional, organized, and easy to get along with.

On Tuesdays I work in Riverside, Wednesdays in Moreno Valley. In MoVal there's almost nothing to do. It all depends on whether or not Scattered shows up. If she's there she can give me something to do. Last Wednesday she never showed up. Vacant had given me a list of files to pull and see if they are still current. I got started on that job, but didn't get very far because I discovered that the list of hundreds of names wasn't in alphabetical order. I called Vacant (twice) and asked her if she could send me a new list that was sorted alphabetically. She realized she had given me the wrong list. Once I got the new one (about 50 names, still not in alphabetical order) I was able to get back to the job. Success! I managed to find THREE files! You taxpayers should be happy to know it took me only four hours to find three files that I then had to put back because they didn't contain the information I was seeking. I came back to Riverside to work on payroll. At least I got that done.

Tanya sent me a job posting last week for four permanent part-time positions at the Riverside library. I updated my resume and sent it in. These positions all pay 2 bucks more per hour than I was making at Student Services. Fingers crossed.

Broadway in the Basement goes up on the 17th. I've been working on props and so far I'm very pleased with the way they're turning out. The house is blasted, of course. When I'm doing a project like this I don't do much housework. I did get the kitchen cleaned up yesterday.

We've been dealing with a stalker lately. One of Paige's friends broke up with her boyfriend and now he's stalking everyone she knows. We noticed that the tires on the passenger side of Paige's car kept going flat. I just bought those tires last November. Turns out they had been punctured. We had them replaced and the next day they were flat again. Had to replace those too. Now when Paige comes home she hides her car in the next neighborhood and walks to the house. We filed a police report and Paige's friend got a temporary restraining order. It hasn't been served yet. I want them to get a big, burly cop to show up at his door and serve him. Personally, I'd like to pound his face until he coughs up $300. I hope this ends soon.

So, yeah, the last few weeks have been pretty stressful. Right now I'm just doing what I can to get through it. I'll be glad when the show's over. It takes up a lot of my time. I'd rather be working on the house.

Sleepy. Rehearsal in the morning, then it's back to the prop machine. I need to get the house cleaned up before Sunday. Lindsay and Kyle are coming over for 4th of July dinner and fireworks. Got a lot of catching up to do with them.

Goodnight.

That's it. I'm stuck.

The meeting didn't go well. At this point I've told the story so many times I'm weary of the whole thing. I had this uber stupid, circular conversation with New Boss and Scattered that went on and on until I finally was able to figure out what had happened. It all goes back to their appallingly poor communication.

There were two grants. One had the position that was offered to me and the other has two office assistant positions. The first grant didn't come through, but the second one did. But they didn't tell me that that's what had happened. All they did was plug me into whatever they had available. Big difference.

It would have been very helpful if someone had called or emailed and said, "Donita, the position we had offered you didn't come through, but we can offer you this other position so you'll at least still have a job." THAT would have made a big difference. I could have tried to find something else in the time that I had. But they ran out the clock and didn't tell me until this whole thing blew up. And at the end of the meeting I was told that if that other position becomes available, I'm free to apply for it. Gee, thanks.

So, Wednesday I'm going to go in for orientation and start this new life adventure. Fewer hours for less pay and working for people who... Oh, nevermind.

Large anger.

Wow, it’s been a while. Damn you, Facebook.

Most of you know about my new job. My new, supposedly fabulous job that is loaded with potential, but at this point is basically a linear move. But what care I, since it could one day blossom into fabulous full-timeness, dotted with bennies and populated with peoples yet unmet? Well, this morning it turned into a major fucking SNAFU situation of what is NOT supposed to be normal!

I’m pissed. And let me just say that anyone who got through that first paragraph deserves some kind of prize.

I first heard about and was offered this job, like, the end of January. Might have been the first week of February. Anyway… I was told I would probably start the first week of April, which came and went with no communication from the new boss (I’ll call her New Boss). A couple weeks later I was called in for an interview (Wait, didn’t I already have the interview? Oh, ok. Another interview). I was handed a piece of paper and told to take a seat out in the hall and read it. On this paper was written two job descriptions. One was Office Assistant, which I was already doing and bore no resemblance to what had been described to me when I was first presented with the idea. The other job description (damn, where did I put that paper?) also didn’t match up with what I had been told, but at least it was close. When I went back into New Boss’s office for the interview we were joined by the woman who heads up the job gittin’ program, and her assistant. I’ll call them Scattered and Vacant.

I forgot to mention that earlier I had a meeting with Scattered. She told me that I’d be working 16 hours a week, but I’d be getting paid $6 more than what I’m making now. I figured that was ok for a start. She also kind of, sort of, told me some of the details about the job, but I left her office feeling that I hadn’t learned much more than I already knew.

The interview went ok, I guess. We talked about the job descriptions and I let them know right away that I wasn’t interested in the Office Assistant position, since I’d already been doing that. So we talked about the other position. Then New Boss launched into a kind of oration, while Scattered sat there and grunted her agreement. It was weird. Vacant just sort of sat there looking like she was glad to be included. I left there feeling a little odd about the whole thing, but I decided I’d keep an open mind.

Then I waited. I figured someone would contact me and tell me when I was going to start. After a bit more waiting I sent New Boss an email asking for an update on the status of the situation. After several more days of waiting I emailed her again. Tick-tock, etc. Finally one day she stopped by because she had a scheduled meeting with Current Boss, and since she had to pass my desk to get to Current Boss’s office, she couldn’t avoid me. She said she was still waiting to hear from the State Department of the People Who Give Us the Grant Money. I thanked her for getting back in touch with me and went back to waiting.

Then one day the news finally came. She told me that the Board had to approve my hire and that they were meeting May 18th and it was just a formality and I could actually start working at my new job on May 19th. Oh joy! I had to wait only two more weeks!

May 18th came and went, and it looked like May 19th was going to slink away without any news of what the Board had done with my hiring approval. I emailed New Boss and asked her for an update. Then after a few hours Current Boss’s assistant called New Boss’s office, but New Boss was out. Later she called again, but her calls were never returned. The next day she sent me a forwarded email she had gotten from Vacant. Vacant said the the contract had to go back to Sacramento for final approval and I would be able to start working at the new job June 16th. Oh joy! I had to wait only three more weeks!

Which brings us to this morning. (Oops, it’s after midnight, so I guess it was yesterday.) I got a call from Vacant the other day. She needed me to come to the new office to sign an Intent to Hire form. This morning I skipped on over to her cubicle and she handed me the form. I noticed that this form contained what appeared to be a couple of errors. I have a sinking feeling that these are not errors, but my first solid indications that I am getting royally screwed. The new position lists me as an Office Assistant III (currently I’m an Office Assistant IV), and showed my pay to be $2 LESS than what I’m making now. Inside my head I heard that Uma-Thurman-pissed-off-Kill-Bill siren. I also felt that old familiar feeling of my throat closing and my eyes tearing up. I had to get the fuck out of there fast. But in my shock and confusion I started to ask questions. Luckily, I quickly realized who I was talking to. I asked Vacant to make me a copy of the form, which took so long I was starting to worry that she was doing it by hand. Not good, since I can only keep a lid on my emotional response for a minute tops.

I bolted out of there and headed to work. It’s possible that the occupants of any car on the freeway that came within fifty feet of mine could hear me screaming a steady stream of, “FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK YEEWWWWW!….”

When I got to work I told Current Boss’s assistant what had happened. Well, I choked out a blubbery description of what had happened and she got the jist. Current Boss was out of town today, but she’ll be in tomorrow. We’ll take it up with her then. Current Boss is awesome, and she’s done nothing but look out for me ever since I started this job. Oh yeah, the reason I can’t stay at my current job is there’s some major reshuffling going on at the college and our office is being, um, deleted. I gotta go no matter what.

After I talked to CB’s assistant, I went to the bathroom to try to compose myself. (Heh! At first I wrote “compost”) My eyes looked like they always do after a cry. One might think I’d had a run-in with an angry lemon tree. I pulled it together and went back to my desk. Just as I sat down Paige called. She had pulled a muscle in her back the day before and was in a lot of pain. She wanted to be taken to Urgent Care. She said she felt bad about causing me to miss a day of work but I was already in the hall punching the elevator button. Gotta go, my baby’s in pain, whoosh!

This must be the longest blog post ever. AND this is just the beginning. I vented to a few friends and my bro-in-law, who works in that office. Maybe this whole thing is just a mistake, or a huge misunderstanding. Maybe it’ll all be fixed tomorrow morning. We’ll see. But this morning (yesterday morning) I was angrier than I’ve been in a LONG time. I think it’s a good thing that all the players weren’t available right when it was going down. I needed to have my little explosion and it was good that most of it happened alone in my car.

The Scone Incident

Boy, it's been a while since my last post.

This weekend was the Dickens Festival. I did this fun show at the Congregational Church, basically the same show as last year. It's the Queen's Tea, which is an English music hall style show where we sing silly songs and interact with Queen Victoria. They serve a very nice high tea with freshly baked scones, finger sandwiches, mini quiche and fruit. It's really a fun little experience.

Yesterday the kitchen staff told us that we could come into the kitchen and get something to eat any time because we were working so hard on entertaining everyone. Really, just come on in and have anything you want. Just make sure you use the little plastic gloves when you're taking food from the bins. It was great. I had a scone, a cookie, and a couple of the mini quiches, which got me through the day quite nicely.

Today after the first show I decided I wanted a scone. I went into the kitchen and found our marvelous pianist, Leonard, happily munching on one. I told the guys who were making them that that's what I came in for and they enthusiastically directed me to the rack of warm scones that were fresh from the oven. I put on a plastic glove and grabbed a plate. As I reached for a scone my hoop skirt snagged on a trash can, which fell over. This caused me to lurch forward a little, which resulted in my scone getting a bit dented. The woman who was running the kitchen turned around and said, "Oh no! Please don't do that! We might not have enough!" I told her that I was sorry and that I didn't know. I showed her the scone and told her it was kind of squished. She reached out and took it off my plate and put it back on the rack! I was dumbfounded! Then one of the kitchen staff kind of shoved a finger sandwich into my hand, I guess as compensation. I was trying to leave when one of the guys shouted, "Out of the way! Hot tray of scones coming!" It was about 15 seconds of chaos and panic. When I got out of the kitchen I turned and was faced with the woman who had freaked out about my squished scone. She just HAD to further explain to me WHY I couldn't one. At that point I didn't care about the fucking scone! Jeez-o-friggin'-pete!

My sweet, transgendered friend, Eva, saw what had happened and asked me if I got my scone. I told her I didn't and she said, "Go back and get one!" I said, "NO! I'm afraid!" She said, "I'll get you one!" and dashed back into the kitchen. She came out and handed me the same dented scone I had grabbed in the first place. I said, "Oh great, NOW I have to go HIDE!" The whole thing was completely hilarious.

Later on I saw the crazy kitchen woman outside the church. She made a point of coming up to me to tell me they now had enough scones to spare. I just said no thanks, but my inner dialog screamed, "Bitch, I don't want no scone!"

So I went through the whole day with nothing to sustain me but a squished, trophy scone. I was too afraid to go back into the kitchen after that. After I got home I made myself a nice, big salad.

Other than that, the weekend was great fun. All of the shows went really well. A few mistakes here and there but the performances were good. I had a wonderful time. I love working with Chris and Cyndi, and our new guy, Leonard, (an absolute gem!) was a pleasure to work with. I hope we can do it again next year. But if I get hungry I'm walking down to Farmer Boys.

Facebook made me disappear

Can someone tell me if I'm still there? They keep telling me I'm under 18 and won't let me in.

Hello, 2010

As soon as this cold goes away we'll have some fun.

Had a very enjoyable time up at Dede and Dave's. We went for a good, long walk on a boardwalk and then had a picnic. Not like a regular beach boardwalk. This one was in a wildish little park over a small lake. Had a good time watching the ducks and pelicans. It continued over sand dunes and ended at the beach. I was really glad to get some exercise. When we got back to the cars we had a nice lunch. We had to pack it up quickly because a hungry raccoon showed up. I'm sure he's worked that parking lot many times before. You have to be careful with wildlife that's had a lot of human interaction. No telling what they might do. I once had a squirrel at the Grand Canyon jump in my lap and try to steal my sandwich.

We went wine tasting and had a pretty good time goofing with one of the vintners. He took us on a little tour (really, he just wanted a smoke) and for some reason he took offense to an offhand remark that Stacey made. I think he misunderstood her. He wasn't really mad, but decided to play it up and made Stacey stay at the back of the group. It was kind of weird, but we made a joke out of it. The guy was a bit of a prick, but he made some damn good wine.

After that we went to dinner at our usual fancy schmancy restaurant, McPhee's. This time we were wise and pre-ordered the pork chop. Drew, Mindy and I had those and everyone else had beef and chicken. All of it was very good.

The next day I started coming down with a cold. I was hoping I could hold it off with zinc lozenges and vitamins, but the sucker took hold and screwed up the rest of my vacation. Still, I managed to have a pretty good time. After another day at Dede's we took off for Vegas. Whew! A long drive over mountains and valleys. Lots of altitude changes to screw with my clogged up head.

We had a great time in Vegas. Did some gambling. I was willing to lose $100 for entertainment purposes and I ended up being successfully entertained. Stacey was the lucky one this trip. She won $1,000!

We had gone there because Audra surprised Tori with tickets to a Blackeyed Peas concert. This was a very big deal for them. While they were at the concert Drew, Mindy and I took the boys to see Blue Man Group. Man, what a fun show! Just before we went in I was wondering if I'd see any celebrities this trip. Just then Ed Begley jr, went walking by. He was going to the same show and ended up sitting in the row in front of us several seats down. Blue Man Group put on a dazzling show. Pretty good for three guys and a band.

I'd been to Vegas twice before, but we were just passing through and didn't get to do much. Even this trip was just a taste. But I had fun. Las Vegas is a crazy place. On our last morning there I was puttering around my room packing my stuff. My room had a door to the adjoining room. All was pretty quiet and then I heard some moaning. And then some more moaning. The people in the next room were having a nice morning indeed. She was moaning and gasping, he was humming, so I'm assuming she was on the receiving end of some very good head. Call me a perv, but I sat there and listened to the whole thing. Hey, free entertainment!

We came home on Thursday, just in time for New Year's Eve. Tracey invited me to a party, but I just didn't feel up to it. I went to bed at 11:45. It's the first time in a long time that I didn't stay up for the new year. Even if I don't go to a party I'll at least go outside and listen to the reveling. Being sick sucks.

Paige has had a fever for a couple days now. She's feeling a little better today. I'm getting better, too. I just want to get well so I can get on with it. Last night I started chipping away at the rotten plaster in the bathroom. The hole kept getting bigger and bigger as I pulled out chunks of wet plaster. Shit. There's a leak somewhere in the wall. Who knows how much I'll have to rip out before I find it? The wood is also in bad shape. I've got a big problem there.

So, my goal for the next few months is to exercise and diet and get myself strong so I can handle this stuff. I can't deal with house issues if my back is bothering me.

I have jury duty next week. I just called to check on the schedule. I don't have to go in on Monday, but I don't know about the rest of the week. Who knows? I may get lucky.

So, 2010 is off to an incredibly average start. More of the same, more of the same.

MY TREADMILL IS AWESOME!!!

I goofed around with it last night, but this morning is the first time I did a full session. Woo-hoo! I kind of took it easy, just 30 minutes, but I varied the speed and incline and got my heart rate up. Worked up a sweat. Tra-la-la!

It has built-in fans, which aren't very effective, but they're kind of nice. I'll move a bigger fan in there. It has a place to plug in an iPod and it has speakers. They're kind of wimpy, but I didn't get this thing for its sound system. It has lots of nooks and crannies to keep stuff in, like a water bottle (it came with a water bottle!) and some small weights and whatever else you might want to have handy while you're walking. Man, I love this thing!

After I walked I lifted weights and did some Pilates. Right now we're also using that room for gift wrapping, but soon I'll get that stuff out of there and make it a gym. Hoo boy, I feel good.

This is going to be good for me in so many ways. Paige likes it too.

Painting

The treadmill is going to be here on Monday morning. I need to get that room ready. This afternoon I started painting. I'm not going to do anything fussy like I did in my room. I'm painting the closet and trim a creamy white and the walls orange. Yep. Orange. Well, maybe more like tangerine. I had bought that paint to use in the front bathroom but I changed my mind when I bought the new vanity and mirror at Ikea. I didn't really like the idea of a whole can of paint going to waste so I figured I'd use it in a room that I didn't care about so much. I toned down the color a bit and tried a swatch. I like it.

I'll make some nice shades for the windows (I'm thinking something like a print in citrus colors) and add some black accents. I wasn't all that enthused when I started this project but now I'm kind of digging it. I'll have a nice, pleasant, sunny exercise room. This will be a very good thing.

My stress level has been sky high. I've had a series of things go wrong (car stuff, money, more car stuff, buying insurance, Christmas, car, grief, the health care bill, money). They all just clumped together in a big, nasty Katamari ball. The other night when I was at the grocery store I discovered I had lost my teller card. That was the capper. I came home and asked Paige if she could go back to the store and pay for the groceries and bring it all home. Thank you, Paige. That day I had had as much as I could take.

This is why I need an exercise room.

I've noticed that my, um, emotional pain hits me in a different place now. It used to grip my throat at the base of my neck. Now I feel it in the center of my face and at the top of my throat. Kind of weird. I don't know what it means.

Last night Tracey and I went to the Huntington Beach uke jam Christmas party. It was pretty cool. The food was so good! They had too many people, not enough seats and no tables. The place was pretty packed. Next year we'll take a couple of tray tables. It's a drag trying to eat holding your plate in your lap. After dinner they had a show. It was mostly people from the group, but there were a few guests. There was this family group that was really good. We're talkin' some pretty young kids and they all sang really well. There was a wide variety of performers. I sang I'm Gonna Lasso Santa Clause by Brenda Lee.

After the party Tracey and I came back to Riverside and went to the Citrus City Grill for our usual after-ukeing drinks. The weather was almost balmy so we could sit outside quite comfortably. She had brought along this fun word game that's kind of like Scrabble. Um, Bananagrams, I think. We had a lovely time talking, playing the game, listening to some jolly drunks at the next table and getting a little buzzed ourselves. It was a fun night, which I badly needed.

I guess the paint is dry enough for me to do the next coat.

Real rain

Finally. It's really coming down out there. Everything's getting good and soaked.

I'm being lazy today. But I swear, any minute I'm going to jump up and do something productive. All those rainy day projects I've been saving up are calling to me. Gotta re-install those cupboard doors. I need to prep Lindsay's room for paint. Those will be good for a start. I can work on the cupboards while watching Mad Men re-runs.

But a nap sounds like a good idea too!

Hoarders

Yeesh.

They're running a Hoarders marathon this afternoon. I watched it while cleaning my room. I know I'm bad, but I don't think I'm THAT nuts. I think it's a matter of degree. Mostly I'm just lazy.

I should have that show running on a loop 24/7. It really makes you want to clear the crud. And when I see what those people go through, and the look in their eyes, like, glazed, vacant and crazy, it makes me reeeally want to avoid becoming like them.

It's the same look I saw in Dad's eyes when we tried cleaning his house and the barns. I'm talkin' BEFORE Alzheimer's. Some years back Dede and I took a week at Spring break and came down to Riverside to clean up Dad's barn. Stacey, Drew and Mindy also came to help. We tossed out major truckloads. We got it all organized and even made one room into a place for plumbing supplies and other stuff he needed to do maintenance on the farm. We worked our asses off while Dad resisted the whole time. When we were finished he seemed happy. But by Christmas all that work was completely undone. All the organizing we had done was still just as we had left it, but there was a ton of crap piled on top. When we cleaned everything out when the farm was sold, all the bins of pvc connectors were still on the shelves, unused.

Yep. He was a hoarder. Alzheimer's magnified it to an extreme level.

I think that show is providing a valuable public service. Many of us will be able to see ourselves in those people and their families. Since moving here I've been overwhelmed by my stuff, but I think I'm doing a pretty good job of clearing it out. My little mantra of "more out than in" really helps. Almost every week I take a carload of stuff to the thrift store. It has taken me a long time, which has been frustrating, but I'm starting to see progress.

Ok, back to it.

Stuffitude

The Thanksgiving meal turned out really well. The least successful dish was the stuffing- too dry. Everything else was really good. Boy, it sure is tricky getting everything to come together at once. Having another oven would really make things easier.

One Friday we had dinner with the rest of the family at Stacey's. That meal was crazy awesome. Scotty is the supreme grill master. Ok, now that we've had a few days of huge meals and tons of leftovers it's time to get back to food sanity.

I've been having a lot of back trouble lately. I get muscle spasms that stop me in my tracks for 10 to 15 seconds. If I remember to relax and breathe they release pretty quickly, but once my back starts acting up like that there's not much I can do. Hot baths and stretching help, but what I really need to do is get back to exercising regularly and work on losing weight. I feel pretty crappy these days and I'm sick of it.

Hope is on the horizon. I've got Lindsay's room cleaned out and ready for paint. I don't know if I'll get it done before the treadmill arrives, but I think I'll be able to work around it. I'm starting to get ideas for decorating that room. It's always a good sign when the ideas start to flow. It really changes my attitude towards the job ahead.

Getting back to an exercise routine will help get me through the holidays. Every year I seem to enjoy them less and less, and that ain't right. Feeling better physically will help with the emotional stuff.

Got some fun stuff coming up! We'll be going up to Dede's as usual, but after that the Langs and the Browns are heading to Las Vegas and I'm going with them. The girls are going to a Black Eyed Peas concert and the boys are going to see Blue Man Group. I'm sure the concert will be enormous fun, but I'd rather see the Blue Man show. Somewhere in there I'll do a little sissy gambling. I'm a total novice when it comes to gambling, but I do enjoy the nickel slots. Who knows? Maybe I'll win big. Really, I'd be very happy if I won enough to pay for the trip. And if Vegas kicks my ass I will still have had a good time with my family.

Ok, time for a hot bath.

Particles.

It looks like we'll be having Thanksgiving here this year. Well, the usual, normal, thursday Thanksgiving. The Lang sibs and spouses always have Thanksgiving on Friday. It's just easier that way. And for the last few years we haven't done the turkey dinner thing. Everyone gets that on thursday. We do a much easier meal of steak, chicken, salads and sides. Very summery. And the way the weather has been, it's kind of appropriate.

I don't know yet how many people we'll have. Lindsay and Kyle for sure, Renie maybe. Paige and me. Could be more. I haven't made many Thanksgiving dinners. We pretty much have always gone to someone else's house so I'll just make a dish or two to take, but I haven't cooked very many turkeys. It's always a little iffy. I think I'm getting the hang of it, though. I'm a big believer in brining.

So, I'm in menu planning mode. Turkey for sure, ginger carrots, garlic mashed potatoes, some kind of sweet potato thing. Paige is making pies. I found an interesting recipe for cranberry chutney that I'm going to try. I usually make a pineapple/mango relish but that's waaaay too much work, so not this year. I'll make cornbread stuffing. I wish I had Mom's recipe. She made the best stuffing. Someday I'd like to try oyster stuffing.

Handle those particles. Make lists. Clean the house.

Big ticket item

Spending a big wad of money always makes me nervous. But I wanted it and I planned for it and I think it'll be good for my health, so I'm considering it a good investment. I ordered a treadmill today. It's a Sole and it'll be here within two weeks. Paige and I need to get Lindsay's room cleared out. Really, I should paint it before the treadmill gets here. That might happen. I think that room would be a more pleasant space to exercise in if the walls are painted.

Now that I've made the commitment I'm looking forward to it. I want to get a cheapo dvd player and a wall bracket for my small tv. We really could have a nice little gym in there. We'll see how much space is leftover once the treadmill gets moved in. I'm hoping there's room for a floor mat.

Ooh, this'll be cool. I love treadmills.

Bunny cage fixed!

Paige and I finally fixed that damn cage. We had lined the bottom with chicken wire when we first built it, but it rusted and the rabbits were able to bite through it. There were several escapes. Today we ripped out the old wire and carted out the dirt. I'll spread that around in the front yard. Bunny poop is great fertilizer. Then we relined the bottom with galvanized mesh and screwed it into place. Then we shoveled in some fresh dirt. I took the top off the old dog house and screwed it to a piece of plywood that had been cut to fit. It makes a perfect little house for them. I set it inside the cage up on some bricks. When we put the bunnies back in the cage they got kind of excited. Eddie was pushing dirt around and Walnut was merrily exploring every inch of their refurbished space. Happy bunnies.

As I sift the gravel out of the front planting beds I'll cart more dirt to the rabbit cage. I want to fill it up to the top of the frame (about 10 inches). Then they can burrow under their house. It'll be a cool place for them to be when it gets hot again. I'm also going to plant to bamboo next to the cage for shade.

So, yay, I can cross something off my list! The tile game has advanced a square. Today was a good day.

Restless

Saturday night. I gotta get out of here. I was going to go see Pirate Radio, but Paige intercepted and said she wants us to go together tomorrow night. She doesn't like it when I go to the movies alone. So, ok, I'm not going to the movies but I still need to do something. Maybe I'll cruise the bars downtown and see what's shakin'.

Just kidding.

Today I took a section of the old rabbit cage and turned it into a gravel sifter. Gammer and Gaffer used a lot of white gravel around their bushes. I'm sure it looked good for the first three months after they installed it, but they didn't put down a weed barrier and now it's all mixed with dirt and old roots. It's gotta go. I sifted several wheelbarrow loads, made a gravel pile on the driveway and used the dirt to fill in some low spots on the lawn. I pushed my back to it's limits. I cleaned out the area next to the back door. I'm planning to build an enclosure for the trash cans there.

After I rested a while I got out the long tape measure and measured my front yard and the front of the house. Then I put the whole thing on graph paper. One of these days I'll get some stakes and string and lay out my design. But that won't be until after all the gravel is gone. Progress is very slow but at least it's a-happenin'.

I hardly see Paige these days. Since she broke up with Gabe her whole social life has taken off. She's having a lot of fun right now. Atta girl! But tomorrow we're going to work on repairing the rabbit cage. That's one of the places where I'm planning to stash all that dirt I'm pulling out of the front yard.

But right now I gotta get out of here.

Yes, you can blame Facebook

I haven't blogged much lately. Can you tell?

Not much is happening lately. I've been working on the house and going to school. Still working two days a week at RCC. Every once in a while I'll find something fun to do. My new friend, Tracey, and I have started going to the uke circle in Huntington Beach on Thursday nights. It's a fun group. And Tracey has a FastPass so the drive ain't so bad.

Poor Tracey! He house was burglarized last weekend. She knows who did it but she can't seem to get the police to care enough about it to investigate. I'll get an update from her later.

I'm fretting a little about some upcoming expenses. I have to pay my property taxes and get some homeowner's insurance. Now that the house is officially mine I have to deal with this stuff. I need to buy a mattress and a bed. I really want to get a treadmill,(and I will) but I want a good one and that costs money. The cars need work. And then there's the usual stuff like bills. It galls me that every month I have to shell out $600 for health insurance for Paige and me.

My hours at work were cut for the summer but I didn't get them back. I really could use those two extra days per month. Things just suck everywhere right now.

I just re-read the posts from last year. Yeesh! I still can't believe we went through all that. It's been harder for me to keep a positive attitude lately. I was always a naturally happy person but that's no longer the case. Some days are just a fog. When I do have a good day, like yesterday, I really appreciate it. And yes, I'm still on antidepressants. It helps but they don't cure everything. And then there's those approaching holidays. Can we skip it this year?

Aren't you glad you tuned in?

I think there's a lot of stuff wrapped up in this Katamari ball. Money worries, Jim's birthday, the holidays, the sad anniversary of 1/18, plus all of life's other disappointments, all bound up in a ribbon of fear. Yee-haw! Right now all I can do is get through it and try to find some enjoyable things to do until, say, February.

It'll be ok. I am making progress. I'm just never sure if I'm doing it right.

Stuff I d-did.

It's been a while. I did things.
My house used to look like this.Now it kind of looks like this. It's a bit more tidied up and as of this evening there's steer manure all over the lawn. I have mostly a clear canvas.

A few weeks ago I hired Timio and his crew to do some major clearing. Four trees were removed and almost all the bushes in the front yard. It was amazing. There were four chainsaws, a blower, a stump grinder, and a gigantic chipper running almost constantly all day long. I'm sure the entire neighborhood were wondering what the hell was going on over here. Big loud. I went back to check on the bunnies and found both of the scrunched at the back of their little house. I brought them inside. Poor bunnies.

They were here for the whole day. It all got done. When they were through they had a big trailer full of my chipped up yard debris. The sides of the trailer were made of expanded metal mesh so you could see all the different layers of vegetation. It looked like a giant green and brown lasagna. The back of the big truck was filled with the logs from my big acacia tree. The whole thing was riddled with termites, and every time Timio chopped into one, thousands of bugs and grubs spilled out. The inside of the trunk was mostly hollow. Disaster averted.

It was quite a shock to see such a big change in the front of my house so quickly. I'm getting used to it now. I decided to try to get the lawn looking good again and leave it that way until I'm ready to start the big,big project of completely redoing my front yard. Today I made a trip to Home Depot (don't shop there. They're corporate scum) (but they're closer to my house than Lowe's) and bought some new hoses, sprinklers, mulch and steer manure. Tonight I spread the whole front yard with merde de la vache. Tres aromatique.

Excuse my french.

Last weekend my new friend, Tracey, and I went up to Northern California for the Wine Country Ukulele Festival. Tracey was fighting off the tail end of a bad cold and was pretty out of it on the way up. Fortunately, she quickly got better and was able to enjoy the weekend. We stayed with Lorraine the first night. It was the first time I'd seen her new place. Very Lorraine. Old house, garden, space for ALL of her animals. Her stuff looked good in that house.

The next morning Tracey and I had breakfast at this cool little diner in Petaluma. After that we shopped. Jeez-o-pete, Petaluma has nice shops. Then we went back to Lorraine's for some visiting. Got caught up. Then Tracey and I headed out to Napa. Mary told us that Jon was working for this Italian family circus that night (sounds weird but it's true) and would we like to go? Hay-ell yes! These guys (warning- website with sound). The Zoppe Family Circus. Oh man, I haven't laughed that hard in ages. They were so good.

Ok, I need a break. I'll write about the uke festival later. And my gum surgery.

Stuff to complain about.

Whew! For a while there it looked like it was time to call a repair man for the washing machine. Unplugging it for a little while cured its memory glitch. Man, that's a relief. Feeling kind of fragile today. I'm tired of things breaking.

Car issues, appliance issues, dental issues, back issues, general malaise. Something's got to give. I think I go through this about once a year. Maybe it has something to do with my approaching birthday. I just get to feeling like I can't stand the way things are and I need to make a big change. Yep, I'm there.

I'm SICK of this hot weather. It's fucking up everything. It's too hot to exercise, even at night. I can't work outside so the yards look like crap and I can't navigate through the garage. For a little while we were babysitting Gabe's dog and she made a big mess out there while she was here. I really want to get outside and clean it all up. Too hot, too hot, too hot.

Too much money is being spent on stuff that reaps no emotional reward. If I'm going to fork over a huge chunk of cash for something I want to be able to sit back and look at it and enjoy it. You can't admire car repairs.

So, what's coming up that'll cheer me? Next Saturday we're moving the rest of Lindsay's stuff out. That'll free up that room. The tile game can make a few moves. I'm getting a treadmill so I can exercise in air-conditioned comfort. I'm going up to northern California in October for a ukulele festival. Gonna see the peeps up there, which will be freakin' way cool. Today I'm going to talk to Timio about getting his crew over here to clean up the back yard. We'll also make a plan for getting the front yards done.

Ok, that helps. I'm going to go to Big Lots and buy organizing bins and plastic boxes with snappy lids. Somehow that usually seems to cheer me up. It always sparks a flurry of sorting and tossing activity. Mmm, plastic boxes....