Man, what a great weekend

I must have been starved for girlfriend talk because the whole weekend was one big yack fest. I got to knock it around with four of the best.

The drive up was uneventful and my energy was good. As the scenery changed and started looking more Sonoma County-ish I started to feel a little strange. It's just so damn beautiful up there. Southern California just can't touch it. I guess I'll always feel I belong in two places.

I arrived at Lorraine's at around 7:00 Thursday evening. They had just gotten back from a camping trip. We sat in the kitchen with her mom and drank wine and talked while they made strawberry jam. Then we switched to these rum and pomegranate juice drinks. Lorraine made them a bit strong, but they tasted like punch so they went right down. Oops. One minute I was fine and having a fabulous time, the next I was completely shit-faced. Oh, Lordy. That ended that evening.

The next morning Michele arrived. We hung out for a while and then she and I left to do a little shopping before heading to Dave and Nancy's to go to the Occidental Farmer's Market to see Amelia play with her band. Walking around the farmer's market was so wonderful. Those people are my peeps. Just a bunch of Northern California hippies. You don't see too many babies in tie-dye around here. One vendor was selling barbequed oysters. I hadn't had an oyster in five years. I got six of them! Another guy was making paella. He had three huge vats of it cooking. Right before it was ready to serve this huge line formed. It took a while to get up there but it was worth the wait. Oh man, it was delicious. I walked by there later and all three vats were scraped clean.

While we were waiting in line Amelia's band played. She was on stand-up bass. What an amazing and acomplished girl she is. She was up there looking completely confident and serene and playing beautifully. Dave and Nancy have a lot to be proud of.

Afterward we went back to the Lorenz's and dinked around on ukes. Nancy wanted some help figuring out the harmony to this one Hawaiian song. Of course, Michele and I came up with two more parts. We just can't help it.

When we got back to Lorraine's Michele and I stayed up late and watched tv. They were running a Maverick marathon. I hadn't seen that show since I was a little kid. Jeez, I was cracking up! I want to see if they have the series available on dvd. It was really funny.

The next day we went back to Dave and Nancy's for a uke workshop and dinner thing. Her hula teachers, Ron and Carol, led the workshop. Two more friends, Sybli and Ross, were also there. We went through their whole book of songs. Like, a LOT of songs. Hawaiian music is pretty simple (well, except for the words) and all of the chords they used were very familiar. Ron showed us a lot of strums. Then we broke for dinner. Kotzian showed up right about then. (Hi, Brian! Great to see you!) Hoo boy, great food. We ate out on the deck, had a lot of wonderful conversation and played with their new chickens. These three girls look almost full grown but they're still peepers. The chickens were very entertaining.

After dinner we went back inside for more uke-ing. This time Ross switched to guitar, Dave and Amelia joined us on stand-up and accoustic bass and Ron, Michele and I played ukes. Nancy, Carol and Sybil danced! Oh my god, they were so beautiful. I gave up trying to sing in Hawaiian and just played and watched them dance. Hula seems so serene and meditative and these three women were the perfect embodiment of grace and beauty. It was certainly the high point of the trip. And the sound in that room was just amazing. What a perfect night.

The next morning I got up early to go to Mary and Jon's for breakfast. Michele had other people to visit so we said goodbye. I had a lovely drive out to Napa. Lorraine and Danny showed up about 40 minutes after I got there. We had a good breakfast and a very nice visit. Mary showed me her new uke. Ok, I've found my new love. Since I can't steal Mary's uke I guess I'll have to get my own. It's a Lanikai tenor with a pick up. It's not an expensive uke, but it has a wonderful, full sound. It was great seeing Mary and Jon but like all the other visits, it was way too short. Thank you, Lorraine and Danny for taking such good care of Michele and me.

The drive home was also uneventful but my energy wasn't so good. Yuck. I had to take a lot of breaks. On the Grapevine traffic got pretty heavy and slow. It sped up once I was in LA. I was so glad to get home. And now I'm at work at my subbing gig across the hall. Looking forward to Friday so I can work on my house. I was inspired by Lorraine's and Mary's and Nancy's wonderful, comfortable homes. Mine is still so NOT there.

A dream

Oh my god, I just had the most vivid dream I've had in years. I have to get this down before it drains away.

I was at this big picnic kind of event. My whole family was there. There was also this guy, Carl, that I know from uke group. Carl is a very nice man who has this awful skin condition where there are big, flaky patches on his hands, elbows and legs. Carl was kind of following me around because he was clearly smitten with me. He kept dropping little comments about me about how cute he thought I was. Finally he said, "Donita, I want to take you to Las Vegas. I want to go out with you. I really have fun when I'm with you." I'm thinking, cool, I'll go out with Carl. Maybe the skin thing isn't contagious. Really, he's a very nice guy.

We're going to different booths and events around this picnic thing. I lose track of Carl. Inside this concert hall I meet this guy who wants to perform with our uke group but he wants to play guitar and he doesn't want anyone strumming with him. As I'm explaining to him that that won't go over so well with the uke group, Carl walks up and we go find some seats for a concert that's about to start. Carl is having trouble getting comfortable in his seat because he's so fat (in reality, Carl isn't fat. A little husky maybe, but certainly not fat. In fact, he was his normal size all through the dream. He only got fat when he sat down for the concert). Lindsay and Paige arrive and sit in the row behind us.

Suddenly Jim walks up! He's starting to walk by and I say, "Oh my god, there's JIM!!" He stops, completely startled. He was just at the event and didn't know I'd be there. The girls and I are both yelling at him, "Where have you been?!?" Carl's getting mad because he's now just lost his chance at a relationship with moi. I tell Carl to shut up, I jump up and grab Jim and drag him outside. The first thing I do is hug him real hard. Then I drag him over to a bench and just start yelling, "You're DEAD! We had a funeral for you! (Here Jim turns white and starts breathing hard) I saw you dead! I watched you die! You stopped breathing and your lips turned blue!!!" Then he says he needs to get something to eat because he feels like he's going to faint. We start walking towards the snack bar. I said, "I saw you at the mortuary! You were on a gurney covered with a blanket! Jim, I had you CREMATED! I have your ashes at home!!! If those aren't your ashes, then whose are they?!?" We get to the snack bar and Jim orders a double burger, ketchup only, just like he always did. I'm still yelling at him and he's acting like this is the most amazing news he's ever heard. I kept asking him where he's been for a year and a half.

And then I woke up, feeling like a truck ran over me. Damn, I wish it had gone on longer so I could get an answer from him. Really, the boy has some esplainin' to do. He's shown up in my dreams before and I always ask him where he's been. But those were just flashes of Jim in dreams that were patchy and chaotic. This dream was very clear and linear and it seemed to go on forever. Hoo boy.

Ok, I have to get off this computer and go pack. I've got a long drive ahead of me.

Dinner at Coco's and Health Science class

After work today I went to Coco's for dinner. On Mondays and Wednesdays I have Health Science class so I'll have dinner in a restaurant so I can get to class on time. I ordered this chicken breast dinner with mashed potatoes, veggies. The chicken is covered with this creamy, sun-dried tomato sauce. When the plate arrived there were two HUGE blobs of mashed potatoes and two tiny pieces of chicken. At first it looked ok because everything was covered with the sauce so you couldn't tell the potatoes from the chicken. But as soon as I put a fork into it I could see that there was no way that dish should have cost $12. I sent it back. When the waitress came back she set down a plate that had enough chicken on it to feed three people. And it still had two mountains of mashed potatoes! I felt a little weird asking for a container to take home the leftovers.

Health Science class was interesting. The teacher showed a Discovery Channel film about the differences between the sexes. Yes, I learned a thing or two. Then he gave a lecture about our reproductive organs. Now, his delivery is pretty funny sometimes but when he was talking about our sexy bits he was freakin' hilarious! Very monotone until he comes to a key word and then he yells. "The EGG travels down the fallopian TUBES to the UTERUS, also called the WOMB." Man, I wish I had it on film.

So! I'm going to Santa Rosa this weekend. Well, not really Santa Rosa. I'll be staying with Lorraine in Penngrove, visiting the Lorenz's in Graton and maybe go visit the Richardson's in Napa. I'll pop up to Santa Rosa to take a look at the Sunny Manor house. I'll be there Thursday through Sunday. I thought I'd be able to get Monday off but that's when I start subbing across the hall. So, bummer. On Saturday Nancy's hula teacher is giving a ukulele workshop at her house. I'm really looking forward to that. Michele is also visiting so she and I will zoom around hitting all the important spots. Gonna soak up the love.

Tomorrow morning I'm taking my car in for some maintenance. I don't want any car trouble on this trip.

Earthquake!

4.0 at 7:14, centered in Riverside. Rumble, rumble, rumble, BAM!

Guess it's time to get up.

Another photo -and- practical jokes of the divine

While I'm in a photo posting mood, here's a picture of my pretty mom.

Ok, so I went to Drew's to take care of the dogs. I remembered seeing on their list of instructions that they'd like to have the sprinklers turned on so I decided to do that before I went into the house. I found the controller and turned on the front sprinklers. I saw the one at the front corner go burble, burble and then BLAST! I caught it right in the face. I was drenched! And when I tried to run away the sprinkler followed me! Of course, the dogs thought this was the coolest thing in the world. They had sprinklers to play in and a running human to chase. We all went in the house and I fed them and took care of Kona's ears. When I left I locked the front gate and started to drive away. That's when I heard thump, thump, thump in the back. Yep. Flat tire. I must have run over something in Drew's driveway. AARGH!!!

I pulled over and sat there for a while trying to decide what to do. I could handle changing a tire but it's hot and I really didn't feel like it. I tried calling Allstate's roadside service but cell reception was iffy and I kept getting cut off while trying to complete their menu options. I called Paige at home and gave her all the info so she could call them. I pulled out a folding chair and my uke and entertained myself until the roadside service dude arrived. About half an hour later I was on my way.

Between yesterday's events and what I went through this afternoon I'm thinking somebody up there is having a lot of fun messing with me.

Three day weekends

I'm going to like this. I have Fridays off for the summer. Yesterday I kept thinking it was Sunday.

On Friday I went to Ken's a little early and took a dip in the pool. Ahhhhh!!!! Then John showed up and he had a lovely little jam. We put together what Ken calls a "three item combo". Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow, It's Only Love, and Sukiyaki. Those three songs go together so well! Man, we've got to play somewhere. We could do an hour, easy.

On Saturday I took care of Drew's dogs and ran a bunch of errands. I visited Dad and played for him. Two of the nurses there came up to me and said Dad always calls them Dede. One of them kind of looked like her but the other one really did. It's kind of uncanny. This girl is a spittin' image. The other Dede nurse kept talking about how sweet and funny Dad is. And handsome. Here's Mom and Dad in 1952. There are better photos but I thought this one was cute.
After visiting Dad I went to Michael's to get some paint. That's when the day took a stupid turn. I had gotten myself a large Dr.Pepper at a drive-through. I'm walking around Michael's, happily sipping, and decided I needed to use the restroom. I went into a stall and set my drink down on the toilet paper dispenser. The cup slid off the dispenser and hit the floor topside down. That caused the lid to crack and the straw to shoot up straight through the bottom and send a plug of foam cup and a big splash of Dr. Pepper right into my face! Now I'm all wet, there's a huge mess on the floor and I still needed to pee! I grabbed the cup and ran it over to the trash can. But there was still a pretty big puddle on the floor, not to mention the splashes of brown liquid all over the toilet seat. Now, if I make a mess in a public place I like to clean it up myself if I can. I don't think it's right to just leave something for someone else to clean up. I went to get some paper towels but the dispenser didn't work. At that point my manners went out the window. I said, "Fuck it", and left the restroom with wet, sticky hair. I finished my shopping and on the way out I told one of the clerks that I had left a mess in the bathroom and apologized. She said, "Oh yeah, that paper towel dispenser never works."

Then I went to Costco. The parking lot was crazy full and it was really hot so people weren't feeling charitable. At one end, near the entrance they had blocked off the driveway with cones. I didn't know it and I got stuck in the middle of a clump of cars that wouldn't let me out but decided to honk at me anyway. Right then Bill called to tell me that our houses at the farm are now completely gone. So, now I'm a clueless woman with Dr. Pepper hair, in a hot, crowded parking lot, chatting on a cell phone.

It's amazing that I got through all that and was still in a pretty good mood.

It happens every time.

I handled a lot of business type stuff today. I'm still working on putting things into my name. This time it was stock certificates. They sent me a change of ownership package with a bunch of forms to fill out. One of them required a Medallion Guarantee stamp. A notary has to have a special license for that and most of them don't. They told me I could get one at my bank. Well, Altura doesn't do that anymore. They gave me a list of notaries but when I called them half of them didn't even know what it was.

Today I went to Kinko's to fax Paige's and my health insurance applications. Wells Fargo is right nearby. I do have a Wells Fargo account but I hate going in there. After Jim died and I needed LOTS of help with accounts and other stuff, they wouldn't help me because their legal department said I needed to go through probate first. Not true, at least not for the stuff I needed them to do. This is freakin' California and I'm the wife. I had all the documents I needed to prove we were married and that he was dead but they still wouldn't help me. Every time I walked into that place it was like getting beaten up. So, I really didn't want to go there today.

I walked in and was greeted by the same clueless guy I dealt with before. I could feel my throat tightening up. I told him I needed the Medallion Guarantee stamp and he said yes ma'am, right away, ma'am, come over here and have a seat. I couldn't believe it. I was finally getting something I needed from Wells Fargo. My throat tightened even more. I gave them all the documents and sat there while they faxed everything to their legal department. The whole thing took about half an hour and the whole time I had to keep grabbing hold of myself to keep calm. When the notary finally came back with the completed papers I lost it. The tears started to flow. Damn, I hate that.

But it's done. Another piece handled. I came home and called Fidelity to get some more stock items taken care of. This time they put me in touch with an office in Palm Desert. They explained that I do have to go through a probate process because Jim didn't name me as beneficiary. They gave me a long list of stuff I have to do. At least they were helpful. And after I hung up I got weepy again. Part of it is being freshly reminded of all the grief, but a big part of it is just plain not knowing how all this stuff is supposed to work and feeling stupid and ignorant about it all. It makes me want to cash it all in and stuff it into a mattress. A mattress I can understand. Ain't no mystery about a mattress.

Once I get the paperwork done I'll consolidate everything into one account. It would be good to find out exactly how much money I have. Right now everything is too spread out and I'm tired of dealing with particles.

Bleah. I'm drained. Tonight I'm going to Ken's to play music. I'm going to go early and swim a little. It's freakin' hot! This morning when I was sitting on my front porch waiting for the trash truck (really, I was out there just enjoying the morning), I ripped out the cheesy railing that has offended me ever since I moved to this place. I was going to get some tools and carefully take it out but when I was sitting there I decided what the hell and started rocking it back and forth. It pretty much snapped right off. It felt gooooood.

When we moved I brought over these concrete yard statues of a donkey and a guy in a sombrero taking a siesta. They're both sporting really bad paint jobs. I'm going to repaint them all cute 'n' stuff. This morning I brought in the siesta guy. I've got my art area pretty much ready to use. It feels good to finally be at a place where I can do some painting. Boy, do I need it!

Trash day double dip (& Dude, where's my iPod?)

I love this. Ever since the move I've had more trash than I can fit into the cans. Especially recycling. I always have bags of recycling hanging around because there's just too much. I'm getting rid of mushed up boxes, newspaper that was used for packing, just a bunch of crap.

I've discovered that the trash trucks come up my side of the street first and then they turn around and pick up from the other side. If I run out and grab the cans as soon as they're emptied I can fill them up again real quick and drag them over to the other side of the street to be emptied again. I've got the bags all ready to go. Boy, it's the little things that make life fun, eh?

Tonight I went online to check my Wells Fargo Rewards points. I've been saving them up to get an iPod. In the fall when we rented all those dumpsters doing the farm clean up I racked up a lot of points real quick. When I checked my points tonight I was up to 57,985. The iPod I want is 37,000 points. When I clicked "redeem" it took the iPod off my list and deducted my points! But no confirmation! No shipping info! I was robbed!

I called their Rewards Hotline and talked to a very nice young man (it's like, 10:30 pm at the time) but he couldn't find any record of my lost points. I'm so glad I wrote them down before I tried to redeem them. He said I should wait a day or two to see if they went through. I'm going to call tomorrow morning and every day thereafter until I get my stinkin' iPod.

Goodnight.

Today's Google quotes

Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward. -Kurt Vonnegut

To invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of junk. -Thomas A. Edison

Late night tile game

Shuffle here, shuffle there. I almost have art studio space. It's a good thing because I'm dying to work on something. I can't sleep so I'm puttering.

I found a cool music streaming station. It's a pretty good substitute for an iPod for listening to music at work. It's called Pandora, radio from the Music Genome Project. For the last few days I've been doing a LOT of data entry, which is completely mindless, so it's nice to zone out and groove to the tunes.

I haven't alerted the NorCal crowd yet, but it looks like I'll be going up to Santa Rosa for the 4th of July weekend. It's going to cost a bundle in gas but I think it'll be good for me to get out of town for a while. Thanks, Michele, for putting the bug in my ear.

Monday I start Health Science class. Two nights a week but at least it'll go quickly. Woo-hoo, I get to learn about germs and bad food!

Look! I added my Fire Monkey to the blog! It is the cocktail monkey of death!

UCR's Commencement, Father's Day and a party

This morning we went to Lindsay's graduation at UCR. Drew and Mindy, Scotty and B, Paige, Kyle and I were there for the celebration. It was hot and sunny, but as graduation ceremonies go, I thought it was a pretty good one. The keynote speaker said "nukular" twice in his speech, but he quoted Barak Obama and Bill Clinton, so we forgave him. I was doing pretty well until the Chancellor mentioned that it was Father's Day. I kind of puddled up at that point. Yep, Jim should have been there. I'm so sorry he wasn't.

But it was a happy day and Lindsay was quite pleased and proud. Many photos were taken. Afterward, we headed over to Ken and Sherri's for our celebration brunch. I'm happy to say that the quiches turned out tres yummy, especially the shrimp quiche. The fruit salad was just a fruit salad but it was reeeeally good. After a little while Bill and Virginia showed up. After everyone ate we went out to the patio. The kids (Kids, ha! C'mon, they're adults now!) swam, while Bill and I uked, Ken played guitar and Virginia beaded. After a while Sherri's girls, the grandkids, Sherri's parents, and some friends showed up. It turned into a very nice, very active party. We had a great time. It was fun playing with Ken and Bill. That's a new mix! We played for most of the afternoon.

Bill and Virginia went home and I left shortly after. Even though we were in the shade on Ken's patio I was feeling a bit baked. I dropped off the leftover food (we'll be eating quiche for a week!) at home and then went to see Dad. I found him near the nurses station yelling at the doctor that had just left. He was pulling at his seat belt and yelling that he wanted to get out of there. Hoo boy. I quickly said, "Happy Father's Day!" and kind of diffused his anger, for a short time anyway. When he started to get agitated again I told him I was going out to my car to get my uke and that I'd play some music for him. I could see he really needed to be redirected. When I got back with the uke I wheeled him into the dining room and sat at a table and played and sang for him. He was still kind of tweaky but he stayed with it. I was there for about an hour and a half. I'm pretty sure that after I left he went right back to yelling at people. Oh well.

A good day. Congratulations, Lindsay and Paige!

I'm sort of good

I've walked three days in a row now. But then, I had pizza for dinner. Tonight I walked through the rich neighborhood across Central, down the other end of Rumsey. It just boggles my mind that there are people who live like that, and they're not even the ultra rich. Their gardening bills must be through the roof.

Today I spent several hours making party food with Sherri. We made eight quiches, four different kinds.

Tomorrow we have to leave here at 7am to get to UCR by 7:30. I'm glad it's going to be early so we can finish up, get to Ken's, and relax for the rest of the day.

I need to go cut up a pineapple for tomorrow.

Woo hoo!!

Got an A in Psych!! Woo hoo!

Gotta go. I'm at work.

Woo hoo!

Graduation

I just got back from walking the Vic. Feels good. Tonight the deaf school had their commencement. You know what's great about a deaf school graduation? No air horns.

Last night we went to Paige's graduation. I'm glad I won't attending another high school graduation for a while. Why do people feel like they have to demonstrate their love for their graduate by showing up with enough balloons to start their own business? The family of morons that sat in front of us had a huge bunch of balloons, flowers, teddy bears big enough to require their own bleacher space, and air horns. And it was windy so we got bonked by their balloons. The teenage daughter was going blah, blah, blah on her cell phone while two senior girls sang a beautiful rendition of the National Anthem. I'm so sick of people.

But it was great to see the baby graduate. Ken and Sherri were there, too. When Paige walked in with her class she actually held up the line because so many teachers were hugging her. When they started reading the names of the graduates there was this one woman who read the names reeeeaaally sexxxxxy. God, it was funny. Lindsay and I couldn't wait until it was Paige's turn so we could hear her name over the loud speaker all sexy and stuff. But about 10 kids before Paige's turn she got tired and had someone replace her. We were very disappointed.

Afterward we went to Joe's for sushi. Jin, the manager (Or maybe he's the owner. We're not sure), was his usual crazy (drunk) self. Paige had walked in wearing her blue mortarboard. Jin immediately took it from her and placed it on his head. The tassle kept getting hung up on his ear. Then he grabbed a goofy-looking japanese lampshade-type hat and put it on Paige. Jin wore the mortarboard the whole time we were there. He sent over a carafe of Merlot for me. Many mussels were consumed. We had a great time. But when we got the mortarboard back the tassle was gone. Jin felt bad about losing it but Paige wasn't upset. She figured it was part of the Joe's experience. I'm going to see if I can order her a replacement.

Today I found out they're going to be closing our building on fridays for the summer. Fine by me. It'll be great to have a week day off so I can handle business stuff. We're going to discuss my hours tomorrow. Work's been pretty busy lately. Usually my desk is pretty clean but right now it's piled up with projects. I like it when I have stuff to do.

Dry mouth. Must get water.

I'm free!!!

For a couple of weeks. I just got back from taking my psych final. I think I did ok. I didn't get much chance to study (too many distractions) but the stuff I managed to cram into my head paid off. I start my Health Science class on the 23rd.

After the test I went to Target. The record guy we met this weekend told me they have digitizing turntables there that are totally self-contained. All you have to do is put in a cd. The one I have has to be hooked to the computer. Come to think of it, it might not work with my computer anyway because for some reason I can't burn cd's. Anyway, the Target turntable seemed like a good idea. I can take back the USB turntable because I haven't opened the box yet. But when I saw the Target turntable it just looked like a pile of red flags. They made it to look like and old- fashionedy wooden record player. Sheeezz! I don't want some cutsey, plastic piece of crap that costs $300. I decided I'd go online and try to find something comparable. Maybe that one is really good. I can probably find a review somewhere.

Paige graduates tomorrow. Guess what she bought for herself as a graduation present? A motorcycle!!!!! I made her promise to take a motorcycle safety class. There's not much else I can do except walk around being a martyr mom. Like, oh sure, rip out my heart and let me die with worry. So far that hasn't worked.

I'll try not to think about that and just enjoy being out of school for now.

I'm beat

But I still have work to do tonight. We had the second yard sale yesterday. It wasn't the madhouse the first one was but we did get rid of a lot of stuff. I made about $250. Drew and Mindy were here to help. Thanks, guys!

Today Drew came over to help pack everything up. Actually, I helped him. He did most of the heavy lifting. The guy who said he was interested in buying all the rest of the albums turned out to be not that interested. He wants to pick and choose. That wasn't the deal. We'll probably try to find someone else who will take them. We loaded up Drew's truck and trailer and took the rest of the stuff to Second Time Around. We like them because they'll take anything. Salvation Army and Goodwill are too picky about what they'll accept. We also like Second Time Around because the gay guy who runs it calls everybody sweetie.

When it cools off a bit more I'll go back out and work on clearing the driveway. I cleaned up the front porch and swept the walk. Tonight I'll turn the sprinklers back on and get the lawn green again. Tomorrow after work I'll mow. I'll make it all nice and pretty out there so the neighbors will be happy.

This morning Drew brought over a truckload of my stuff that was being stored in the truck trailer at his house. He said there are two more loads. It'll be good to get it all here. I'll be spending the summer going through it all and organizing and cleaning and purging. I've already gotten rid of so much. It's wonderful.

But the house is still in chaos. Drew installed another ceiling fan and the cool light fixture I got on eBay. Getting that ceiling fan up off the floor will really help. Now I can assemble the shelves that were being stored on the front porch. It's that damn tile game again! Gotta do this before I can do that, repeat, repeat, repeat.

Ok, one more push and then I can shower.

Test results

For a couple weeks now I've been playing phone tag with my doctor's office. She's been wanting to discuss the results of my blood work. I figured man, if she want's to talk to me personally it's gotta be something serious. I looked up the results on Kaiser's website. Nothing earth-shattering as far as I could tell. Today I finally talked to the nurse. She wanted to go over it with me and tell me how wonderful everything is. Um... ok. Thanks.

Blood sugar is still a little high but it's actually lower than last year. She said I should avoid sugar and get some exercise. I was almost hoping for at least a little bad news so I could throw myself at their feet and cry, "Help me! Save me from myself!" But, no, I have to stop spinning my wheels and get going with a diet all on my own.

I wonder if all those vitamins I take are actually doing some good? Maybe they've kept me from becoming a full-blown diabetic for all these years. Well, I do know that I can't keep getting away with it forever.

Today I contacted Kaiser to see about getting Paige added to my plan. It's going to end up costing the same for the both of us as I'm paying for me alone! Coolness! The co-pay will be $30 instead of $20 but the monthly payment is the same. The deductible is the same.

Ok, that's a couple things crossed off that to-do list.

For the good of the party

I got this idea from Daily Kos. Hillary said she's willing to consider accepting the VP spot if it'll help insure getting a Democrat back into the White House. One woman on Kos said she'd be willing to sleep with George Clooney if, and only if, it would bring about world peace. You can sign me up for that one, only I'd be doing it for a cure for cancer. To get a Democrat back into the White House I'd be willing to do extensive research on which sushi restaurant serves the best mussels. I'm talkin' nation-wide, people. That's how dedicated I am.

What would you do?

More blogging from work

I visited Dad last night. He was pretty alert and sometimes seemed almost normal. Kind of strange. I'd kind of gotten used to seeing him barely functioning. I played uke and sang for him. Then I fed him his dinner. He ate every bit of it! Another surprise. He asked me why he had been thrown in the clink. I told him about the stroke and how it has weakened him. He accepted my explanation. I sang a couple more songs for him and then left.

Tonight is the last psych class before the final. Then I jump right into summer school. Health Science, yuck. Oh well, it'll be good to get it out of the way.

Tomorrow I'm back in my own office.

Blogging from work again

It's ok this time. I'm in the office across the hall, subbing for their receptionist. The only thing I can do here is answer the phone so my goofing off is legal. I'm all ALONE! I wish I had my uke with me. Actually, I do, it's in the car. But that might be pushing it a bit.

Jeez, I wish I had more to write about. I've already been through the political blogs, eBay, Hotmail and everyone's personal blogs. I poked around on Chordie for a little while and searched Google for some songs. I could study for the Psych final but I've done a lot of that and my brain is fried.

This office is cold.

I've been wanting to get my life more organized. I've got the to-do list of Damocles hanging over my head. The house is in total chaos since we got everything out of storage. The final yard sale is this weekend so things should be a little easier soon. I try to do at least a little organizing every day so I'm making progress. But jeez, I'm tired of living this way.

Oops, some people just walked in. I'll stop for now.

Ok, I just came up with the beginnings of a song. The wallpaper on this computer is this idealized scene of a jungle with all the animals living happily together with flowers and pretty colors.

A picture of paradise
is on the computer screen
This jungle harmony
is a phony, made-up scene
There's no grass or dirt
here beneath my feet
This is a desk, in an office,
in a building, on a street.

I'm breathing filtered air
and sitting on a cushioned chair
bathed in artificial light
phone to the left, printer to the right

Oh man, let's get out of here
before I go insane
Let's escape to that jungle
You Tarzan, me Jane

Music, banquet, Indiana Jones and a rear-end

Another full weekend.

Saturday morning I met Bill and Zoey at King to do a sound check for the song we were doing at the concert that night. It was King High School's end-of-the-year choir concert. She was singing I Will by the Beatles. Jeff, Bill and I were backing her up, the boys on ukes and me on a drum and singing harmony. We had practiced it on Thursday night and it sounded really good. Jeff didn't show up for the sound check. It only took about 10 minutes and they were able to set the levels without him so it wasn't a problem. But where was he? I called him. He had been rear-ended on the way there! It had just happened right before I called. We told him to meet us at this chinese place just down the street. Poor Jeff. He was pretty upset. His rear bumper now looks like a butt. We had lunch and then went next door to the smoothie place for coffee and smoothies. By the time we left he was feeling a little better but still not too happy.

I left and went to White Park for Paige's band banquet. Having it in the park was a really good idea. Since I had just eaten I wasn't interested in what they had to serve. Paige said it wasn't very good anyway. We stayed until after they gave out all the awards. I left and went back up to King for the concert.

They have it outdoors, which is nice, but the audience sits on a slope in lawn chairs. It's pretty uncomfortable because the slope is steep enough that you feel like you're going to tip over. I spent a lot of the time pushing against the ground to hold myself in the chair. They always start these shows with student soloists. It's basically karaoke. And, ahem, it's a public school, but they seem to forgotten the concept of separation of church and state. The kids pick their own songs but really, it was pretty over the top. Like, WAY over the top.

I was glad when it was our turn. Zoey did a great job. She sounded very sweet. The boys and I were, of course, awesome. Then we went back to our seats so we could get preached at some more. Then it was time for the choirs. It was a VERY long show. Zoey's choir did this really cool choral car song with choreography. After that, Jeff and I left, leaving Bill to shiver in the wind on his own. He had to stay. He was Zoey's ride.

We went to the Plaza and caught the 9:30 showing of Indiana Jones. Man, that was the perfect way to end that long day. We both really enjoyed that movie, although we could have done without the barrage of shitty commercials before the previews started. There was one that featured James Carville and Bill Frist getting lovey-dovey over a Coke. I told Jeff I was ready to barf into my purse. We were so happy when the movie started.

Man, we laughed the whole time! AND they included a Wilhelm scream! That's not a surprise, but it was pretty funny the way they did it. It felt good to laugh that much and I think it was exactly what Jeff needed.

Today was the uke circle. Wow, LOTS of people showed up today. It got pretty loud in the basement. Afterward, I went to Marie Callender's for dinner. Had a hankerin' for quiche and salad.

Good weekend.

My daughter, the playwright

Lindsay took a playwriting class at UCR this last semester. One of her plays was selected to be performed at the year-end, um, performance of student plays (I forgot what it was called). They did seven short plays. Two of them were stand outs, Lindsay's was one. She lucked out by getting the two best actors. Everyone really enjoyed her play. They weren't full performances, just staged readings.

Pretty cool.

Three days not long enough

I whine for more.

We went to open mike last night. One woman who preformed was a poet. In her introduction she said that Memorial Day is when we remember those who have given their lives for our country. She said most would prefer not to have so many memories. Why is that sentiment missing from all those ceremonies?

On Saturday Drew, Mindy and Dede came over to help get the yard sale stuff covered and more organized. We're going to wait a couple more weeks before the next one. There's just too much going on for everyone. But that means I'll have all the stuff in the driveway for a while longer. I don't mind, but I'll bet my neighbors are getting a little nervous. I should put a sign out front that says, "Sorry. It won't always be this way."

Saturday night Jeff and Bill came over for uke practice. Oh Lordy, that was fun. I don't know why, maybe Kyle's presence inspired us to hilarity. We just laughed our asses off all night long. We did manage to play some music as well. It was just a really fun night. The next day we met at Bill's to practice a bit before leaving for open mike. We were still pretty giggly. Liam and his girlfriend, Samantha, went with us. It was a pretty good open mike. We did well on Tweedlee Dee, not so well on This Land Is Your Land. Oh well, that happens. One old guy sang a song that he wrote. One line was something like, "That's good ol' country livin'." But he took a breath right in the middle of the word "country". I laughed a little and Jeff leaned over and said, "I know what you're laughing at." It happened over and over. We were sitting there, trying to be quiet, trying to be a good audience, but really! That was pretty damn funny.

Tonight we went to the Towers where Jeff and Bill's mom lives. Virginia and Liam came, too. They were having a party downstairs so we were going to set up and play in the library upstairs. Bill and I left to go get dinner and when we got back they told us that the entertainment they had hired for the party didn't show up and they asked us to play. Bill and I went upstairs and got Jeff and all our stuff. Virginia and Liam brought Jean down. We put on an impromptu show with about 7 or 8 songs. We even had a heckler! Some old lady was yelling at us. But everyone else enjoyed it and we put on a decent little show. Afterward we ate our cold dinner and then played some more around the table. Liam sang a couple of songs. The boys did I Shall Be Released, which always slays me. It's those Odien voices. Virginia said, "Play that song that always makes Donita cry." Yup. I had Jeff singing right in my ear. Hoo boy.

Tomorrow, back to the mines.

Blogging from work

Shhh, don't tell anybody.

Just about everyone from the office is at a luncheon. I'm here holding down the fort. It's just the two student employees and me.

Well, I got a B on the last Psych test. That's MUCH better than I thought I'd get. I think I'll end up with a B for the semester.

Dang, it's supposed to rain this weekend. I really want to get this second yard sale out of the way. There's a ton of crap piled up in my driveway. Some of it is yard sale stuff and some of it is stuff that's waiting to go into the garage. If I don't get the records up off the cement and covered it'll be the end of them.

Once the second yard sale is done and the leftovers carted away I'll have room to get the house cleared out. I'm so glad we have a long weekend coming up. And, yay!, it's MUCH cooler!

Boredom setting in. Falling asleep.

Hey, it's Give Kyle A Wedgie Day!

Happy Birthday, Kyle!

So, today is the last day of the heat wave, right? Please, please, please...

I got lots of stuff done this morning. Well... I was going to go to Kaiser to get some blood work done but when I got there my wallet wasn't in my purse. Dang! It had fallen out when we were doing all that moving on Saturday. I found it in the truck. And my Kaiser card wasn't in it! I have no idea at all where it might be and trying to find anything that small in this house right now is just about impossible. I'll have to tell them I lost it.

I came home and started working on getting some paper work out of the way. I called the Agilent and Hewlett-Packard stock people to have the stock ownership changed to my name. I've been doing that kind of thing in bits and pieces ever since Jim died. Sometimes people are helpful, like they were today. But most of the time I seem to get ahold of some complete idiot who will tell me that whatever I want done can't be done because it's in Jim's name and they need his signature. This is after I started the conversation with, "My husband died last year..." There have actually been times when I've had to yell at people, "Do you understand that he is DEAD? I'm his wife! It belongs to me now! Do NOT tell me it can't be done!" Seriously, it's happened several times.

But today everyone I talked to totally knew their shit. Even so, no matter how helpful they are, I still have to sit here and cry for
about five minutes when I'm done. It happens every time. If I'm lucky, my throat won't close up until after I hang up the
phone.

I also checked up on how the stock is doing. I read that Agilent is predicted to do well this year. The other stuff is doing ok too. That's all comforting to know. If we don't have a big crash I just might have a decent amount of money to retire on some day. So, you can all relax. I won't be showing up on your doorstep all destitute 'n' stuff.

Probably.

A productive weekend

Yay! We got the rest of our stuff out of storage! Now the house is full of boxes and crap! Yay!

Oh yeah, the place is majorly blasted. Once we have the second yard sale things will unclog a little. I put a lot of stuff away today. But damn, it's too hot to do much more, even with the central AC. All the yard sale stuff from last weekend is packed tightly in the driveway. I wish I'd had thought about it before we packed it all in. I can't get in there to water the plants. The boxes of records are sitting right in the middle, which is where all the water runs down when the plants get watered. I can squeeze through with a hose but I don't think I can water them without the run-off. Oh well, the only thing that's really important to me is the bamboo. I can reach back there with a pitcher.

Why do they make weekends so damn short?

Katie

Last night Lindsay and I took Katie to the emergency vet and had her put down. She'd been sick for a while and we knew she wasn't going to get any better. Last night she let us know it was time to let go. We're going to miss her. She was the best cat we ever had. She was a good buddy to me last year.

I remember when we first brought her and her brother Mack home as tiny kittens. Mackie was with us for only a year. He was a sweet but curious kitty and one day he just disappeared. But Katie stuck around. She was very much Lindsay's kitty. She didn't have much use for the rest of us but you could really see how happy she was in Lindsay's arms. I used to call her Snooty Boots back then. As the years went by she warmed up to the rest of us. She loved a good lap.

She was a very pretty girl.

Bye, Katie.

Holy cow!

I'll start off by saying that Stacey is ok. She got into a bad car accident yesterday. She's ok and it wasn't her fault. The other guy and his passenger are ok, too.

Some guy pulled out in front of her as she was going 40mph down Van Buren. She had no time at all to react and t-boned the other car. The air bags went off. She's got a badly sprained ankle and some bruising from the air bag, but she's fine.

Ok, I'll write more later. I've been staring at a computer screen all day and I need a break.

Yard sale weekend (and Happy Mother's Day!)

I'd say it was a successful yard sale. I made about $230. Dad pulled in quite a bit more. Drew and Mindy did pretty well, too. Tori and Tyler sold a lot of toys.

I took Friday off so I could help Dede with the set up. We spent the morning putting my pergola together with Lindsay. Thank you, Dede!!! It was nice to have a shade canopy for the yard sale. Drew and Mindy also brought an easy-up on Saturday.

Saturday was a madhouse for the first three hours. Then it tapered off, but people kept coming until about 3:00. We put out about 1/3 of the records. The records were a hit. You just can't stop looking through them once you start. One guy bought 130 of them. We took phone numbers from several people who want a crack at the rest of them. Dede said there are still 44 boxes of records in storage.

It's a little hard to tell how much stuff went because we kept putting stuff out there throughout the day. I think Drew and Mindy and I did most of the selling. Dede was a replenishing machine. She kept going through boxes and putting things out. I don't know where she gets her energy. Once she was done with the boxes she started demolishing the inside of my garage. She busted out all those useless shelves they had in there. Behind a panel she found part of an old army uniform and this way cool, old army bag. Kind of like a messenger bag. She took it home to Stephen. Billo stopped by. Hi, Bill! Ken and Sherri, Amber, Steve and Anthony came by too.

Drew installed some ceiling fans for me. It's so great to get them up off the floor. I was very glad to see that ice cream parlor style ceiling fan go from the office. Getting that electrical work done was great but it caused a problem later that night. At the end of the day we had covered everything and consolidated the records and wrapped them up in a tarp. I had turned off the sprinklers, but when Drew turned off the electricity to work on the fans the system reset itself when the electricity came back on. Late in the night the sprinklers came back on and got the records wet! EEK! I found out about it right after it happened. I grabbed Lindsay and Kyle and we worked as fast as we could to get the records off the lawn and onto the driveway. Most of the boxes had disintegrated. We lined the records up along the driveway. We caught it pretty quick so there wasn't much damage. What a huge pain in the ass. I was already so tired and sore from the day. Moving a couple thousand records in the middle of the night was the last thing I wanted to do.

Today sales were much, MUCH lighter. Mother's Day. Oh well. I still made about thirty bucks. Drew and Mindy were here in the morning and Drew was here in the afternoon. I was on my own for a few hours. I got out my uke and entertained myself while I sat in the driveway. We're going to have another sale in 2 weeks. Drew came up with a good idea. We'll put an ad in the paper and include a blog address. I'll set up a yard sale blog so we can post descriptions of everything and include photos. I'm thinking that will be a good way to sell some of the music equipment.

Next weekend I'm going to try to get ALL of my stuff out of storage. That'll save me $300 a month! It'll be stuffed into the garage and the sun room but at least it will all be here.

Big tired. Everyone worked hard. It feels good to get such a great start. A lot of stuff went out of here. And hey, now I have a pergola!

El Torito on Cinco de Mayo

A unique dining experience.

After work I went to see Dad. He was in the dining room, asleep in his wheelchair. I shook him a little to wake him up but he was solidly snoozy. I had brought my uke so I got it out, thinking some music might rouse him. It didn't. I played for him anyway. The old couple across the table seemed to enjoy it. At least the husband did. The wife was pretty out of it. I looked around the room. Everyone else was also barely conscious. They must be handing out lots of drugs there.

I played for a little while before they served dinner. Since it's Cinco De Mayo they were serving Mexican food. Or something like Mexican food. More like astronaut Mexican food. Very paste-like.

I had to keep waking Dad up to feed him. Sometimes he'd shudder like he was going to wake up but his head would go right back down. Still, I did manage to get half of his dinner into him. I packed up the uke and left.

As I was driving home I was thinking it would be nice to get some Mexican food. I called home and asked the girls if they wanted to go out to dinner. Paige had already eaten so Lindsay and I went to El Torito. It was a mad house there. The wait was 45 minutes. No big deal, we walked around and shopped. We waited another 15 minutes when we got back to the restaurant. They sat us in that side room. You know, the amplification chamber. Holy caca.

They seated this couple with two very small, very hungry, very loud little kids right behind us. Lots of screaming and crying. Seriously. LOTS! Ok I was dealing with that. Then the waitress seated a party of about 10 people at the big table next to us. They were also kind of loud. At that point we were about halfway through our dinner. One of the guys started telling this story about the mom of a friend of his who had breast cancer and had to have surgery. He went through ALL the gory details. We got to hear all about what they found when they cut her open. We heard all about her tubes and fluids. I stopped eating, waiting for the story to end. I turned around and looked at the guy and at the people around his table. No one looked like they were enjoying this story. I finally said, "Dude, does this story have an ending?" He said, "Yeah, I know, it's so sad." I'm thinking no, it's gross. Right around that time the kids really started screaming. We heard the mom say, "Well, they're so hungry. They've been waiting two hours to eat." Ok, earth to mother! Don't take your toddlers to a Mexican restaurant on Cinco de Mayo! When the waitress came back I asked for the check pronto. From the look on her face I gathered that people must have been complaining.

On the way out we passed by this young couple who had been sitting a couple tables down from us. They had a good view of the whole scene and they looked kind of terrified. The wife was verrrry pregnant. As we walked by I said, "See what you have to look forward to? Har, har!" They laughed. A little.

When we got home the first thing I did was change into my jammies. Ah, quiet.

Better

A nice weekend.

On Saturday the Odien bros and I went to the Claremont Folk Music Festival. Wow, it was big this year. Figures, since the evening concert was Jackson Browne, Ben Harper and Taj Mahal. More about that later.

The early part of the day was the usual stuff. Vendors selling vendor-type hippie stuff, organic food and workshops. I went to a belly dance workshop. Kicked my shimmy butt. I really should start belly dancing again. I could feel what it was doing to my back. It really works the core muscles like nobody's business. It felt good but I couldn't keep it going for very long. Just before the belly dancing was a tango workshop. I caught the last bit of it. It looked like so much fun. The teacher had a killer bod. I kept thinking, man, I wish I had a butt like that.

During the last session the boys taught a beginning ukulele workshop. I helped. Bill brought a bunch of his school ukes for those who didn't bring their own. Man, there were a lot of people! Jeff and Bill did a great job presenting. They got everyone playing chords right away. I took care of people as they came in and shuffled ukes around as people came and went. Some of the younger kids got bored with it and left. I had my own little clump of people off to the side and helped them with the chords. The whole thing went really well. jeff and Bill were very happy.

After the workshop we walked down to the village and had dinner. Then we walked back for the evening concert. The field was already pretty crowded and it was going to be hard to find a seat. I heard someone calling my name. It was Lisa, one of the people I had in my uke clump. She and her family had staked out their spot for the show and had some extra room. They invited us to sit with them.

Jackson Browne was on first. Most of his songs were slow and quiet. This kid a few seats down was playing with some spoons. You know, like the spoons they use as a percussion instrument. He's whacking them during the concert and the parents weren't doing anything about it. At one point I got the mom's attention and asked her to make him stop. She did, but only for a little while. After a song or two he started up again. I waited until the song was over and tried to get his attention but he was ignoring me. I said, "Hey spoon boy!" and told him to knock it off. Lisa's brother said, "Man, you gotta stop because she's gonna flip out." It was pretty damn funny. He stopped. No more spoon boy. Later, after it got dark, spoon boy's little sister started playing with a bright blue, flickering LED light. I decided to let that one go. It was so annoying I think even her parents couldn't stand it because it stopped after a little while.

The concert was great! Ben Harper had some really awesome songs (I'm paying a lot more attention to songwriting now) and Taj Mahal got people up and dancing. What a wonderful day.

Today was uke circle. A sparse group today. We had to quit early because some people were using the basement for a memorial service. Still, it wasn't a bad session. Afterward I came home and took a nap. At 5 I went to The Towers where Jeff's mom lives. Bill and Zoey showed up later and we ate grinders downstairs in the big common room. We had all brought our ukes so we had a little practice down there. I had a good time.

Onward to the week ahead. Dede is coming down on Thursday and we're going to put a quick yard sale together to get rid of some of Dad's stuff. I haven't gone through all my stuff yet but I have a lot I can put out there right now. I'm going to try to get as much done as I can this week. That's the bummer about having to work. I just don't have the time to get this kind of thing together anymore. It's going to be a relief to get rid of some of this stuff. Michele and I were talking about it. It's like one of those tile games we had as kids. You have to move the tiles around just right to make a picture out of the thing but you only have one free space to move them. That's my life right now. A little tile game.

Things are pretty good these days. I do feel this kind of vague restlessness and I still worry about the same stuff, like money and my health, but mostly it's all pretty good. Just keep going, keep going.

And now I'm going, going to bed.

Yesterday

Ugh.

Yesterday morning just before I was leaving for work Paige came in holding Vesuvius. Poor little dude was floppy and barely breathing. His belly was distended. We rushed him to the rabbit vet in Corona and got there at 8:00. Unfortunately, the vet wasn't due to arrive until 9. The receptionist told us we could go to the closest emergency vet, which was in Yorba Linda. Holy crap. But the traffic wasn't too bad so it didn't take us long to get there. They took him in right away for assessment.

While we were waiting, and it was clear to see we were quite upset, this kind of crazy woman with a weird dog came over and sat down next to Paige and threw her arms around her. She said, "I know you're worried about your baby but I want you to know he's going to be alright because this vet is the best in the world. You wait and see, she's the best. Don't worry about your baby, blah, blah, blah..." I know she was trying to be helpful and comforting but it only made it harder for me to hold it together. I think Paige was feeling the same thing. They finally took us into another room to talk to the doctor.

Vesuvius had some kind of severe intestinal blockage. He was already so stressed that surgery wasn't an option. The doctor told us she could give him something that would help with motility but she really wasn't giving us much hope. Paige and I discussed it and decided to have him put down. We both felt so horrible about it. Vesuvius was a sweet, cute bunny. We left and came home. I went to work.

When I got there my glasses, my good glasses, weren't in my purse. I called the vet and yep, they were there. In Yorba Linda. At lunch I zipped over to Kmart and bought some cheaters so I could get through the rest of the day. I left work a little early, hoping I would beat a little of the rush hour traffic. It didn't take me long to get there but I could see that traffic heading back to Riverside was bumper to bumper. As I was walking into the vet's building I heard someone say, "Hey, how's your baby?" It was the crazy woman! What does she do, hang around the vet's office all day??? I was still pretty raw and close to tears so I kept my conversation with her as brief as I could. I got my glasses and came home. Very slowly. For miles and miles.

Jeff and Bill were here last night for uke-ing. We worked on some new stuff. It was nice having them here after that shitty day. Tomorrow is the folk festival in Claremont. They're going to teach a beginning uke workshop and I'm going to help. I'm hoping they can get me into the festival for free. It's going to be a good one. Taj Mahal, Ben Harper and Jackson Browne are going to play at the evening concert.

My Curioso email is acting squirrely. I can receive mail but not much is sending. Gotta get my IT team on it.

Good weekend

On Saturday we had the last songwriting workshop. Jeff and Bill presented their songs, which were well received. We all enjoyed the workshop and want to continue. Peter said he'll do another one in June.

Yesterday we moved Jeff and Bills' mom back to the assisted living place she lived in last year. The new place didn't work out so they decided she'd be better off back at the old place. It was much easier moving her this time because we got rid of so much stuff after the first move. Also, her friend picked her up and took her to church while we were working so we didn't have her around to "direct" us. We had lots of help from Bill's daughter and her friends. They did a great job of setting up the room and putting things away. The whole thing went very smoothly.

Last night we went to open mike at the folk center. We all played our new songs and everyone seemed to enjoy them. Jerry introduced me as the "legendary" Donita Smith. Heee!!! I'm a legend! Jeff and Bill did really well and everyone laughed at their songs. It wasn't one of the better open mikes but it had some great moments. The last guy to play got up and said he was from Nashville. So, like, oooooh, a Nashville guy. This is gonna be good. First, he had to borrow a guitar. He spent several minutes messing around with the strap. Then he picked off a riff while the sound guy was setting levels. One of the finger picks came off his finger and got caught on a string. Another few minutes were spent tugging on the string trying to get the pick off. I think the owner of that guitar must have been cringing like crazy. It was pretty funny. I said, "Hey, now set it on fire!" The guy kept asking for more volume in the monitor. Man, he must have been half deaf because the monitor sound was just fine. Then he started playing and he SUCKED.

There was this one kid who got up and said he had just turned 15. Man, he sang like he was channeling a 75-year-old blues singer. The kid was good! I told him he should keep coming back because we'd like to hear more. And then there was Theo who was, as usual, pretty damn funny. He hugged me and said he loved my song and that he wanted my cd. Theo was drunk.

I just went through a bunch of old paperwork issues and got them handled. I found out my money situation is a bit better than I thought. I can get my hands on enough cash to carry me for a good while longer if I need it. It means I won't have to dip into the retirement account. I can relax a little.

Boy, I sure do get tired of dealing with stupid people on the phone. I had to keep explaining to this one woman that the guy who set up this one account has died and I need to get things switched over to my name. She kept telling me that it couldn't be done. Good grief, this is NOT an unusual situation. What is so hard to understand? She finally got it and said she'd send me their change of ownership package. Thanks, brainiac.

Ah, Monday. Back to work.

Surly

I hate everybody.

Except you guys. What a morning.

When Jim died the hospital overcharged me $1,900. They notified me in a letter back in August. In September they sent me a check made out in Jim's name. I called them and they said to send it back to them and they'd issue a new one. I called them in November. I called them in March. The other day I got another check made out to Jim. I deposited that one hoping they wouldn't catch it. They did and stopped payment on it. I called them this morning to try once again to get it straightened out. This time they told me they couldn't issue one in my name because of the way Jim signed the consent form at the hospital.

Did anyone hear my head explode this morning?

Jim didn't sign any fucking consent form!!! Don't tell me you can't issue check in my name. Don't tell me you're putting in a "request" for a new check. Don't tell me you'll check to see "if" they'll issue a new check. What I want to hear is, "Yes, ma'am. I will PERSONALLY walk this over to the finance department and TELL them to issue you a new check IMMEDIATELY while I stand there and wait for it and then I will IMMEDIATELY put it in the mail. Please accept our apologies for acting like brainless robots who can't deviate in any way from company policies to correct a human error. You would be well within your rights to demand interest on that $1,900 plus the $11 your bank charged you for the check we stopped payment on. But since that would require a direct order from God, we won't push it. Just know that I will not rest until that check, with your name on it, is in your hands."

That's what I want to hear.

After that I drove to Kaiser for a check-up. Ok, a word of advice here. Don't try dealing with a heartless, brainless bureaucracy just before a doctor's appointment where the first thing they will do is take your blood pressure. It actually wasn't that bad but they did have to take it twice to get a better reading. I was also pleasantly surprised that I haven't gained as much weight as I thought. I'm only up seven pounds from last year. I talked to the doc about the numbness I occasionally feel in my right leg and she thinks it's just a sciatica problem. Gotta get to that chiropractor. I also told her about my anxiety attack and she said not to worry about it unless it happens again. She said taking the Xanax and the propranolol was the right thing to do. So, that was all good. Next, the mammo.

I went downstairs to get the mammogram. The gown they gave me probably would have fit Virginia perfectly. I went to the mammo waiting room an found myself surrounded by women wearing gowns that would have kept Mama Cass nicely covered. WTF? I was sitting there struggling to keep one boob covered. I had to hold a magazine in front of me. My mood deteriorated further. When the technician came to get me I asked for a bigger gown. She handed me one that was the same size as the one I had on. Oh well, at least it was bigger than a magazine.

The mammogram I had last year was the best one ever. That technician really knew what she was doing and the whole procedure was only mildly uncomfortable. This bone head was the complete opposite. In fact, it was the most painful mammogram I've ever had. She pinched my skin and dug her fingernails into me. She didn't tell me how to position myself, she just pushed me and pulled on my skin. And she kept trying to chat with me. Any blind retard could have seen that I was ready to lose it. The tone of her voice was condescending. She asked me three times if I had any questions. At one point while she was blathering on and I was crunched in that vise I just told her, "You have to hurry." I think that's when she finally got that I was ready to go off. Afterward, she had me change my clothes in the mammography room instead of going back to the dressing room.

After that I went to Norm's for some breakfast. The orange juice was warm and my breakfast was cold. Perfect.

I'm going to work now. After that I'm walking the Rube. I need it!

Did stuff on Saturday, goofed off on Sunday

There's so much that needs to be done around here but sometimes you just gotta take a day off, y'know?

On Saturday the boys and I went to LA for the song writing workshop. We went early because Peter had a concert that afternoon. He invited all the workshop participants to attend. More about that later. This time Peter talked a lot about using metaphors in song writing. I liked the way he presented the idea. He talked about using metaphors as keys, like keys in music. He used the song Julia as an example. There's lots of ocean imagery in that song so he described it as being in the "key of ocean". He really gives us a lot of good material and I haven't been utilizing it as much as I should. I need to take the time and read the handouts he gives us. It's a lot of material. I need to get it into a notebook so it's not a lot of loose sheets.

Towards the end of the class he asked if anyone wanted to present their song. No one was stepping up so I said I'd go first. It felt a little goofy. We had just been deconstructing John Lennon and Tom Waits and here I am about to present my middle-aged teenager song. But I sang it and people liked it. Got some great feedback from Peter. Jeff and Bill were ready to present theirs but this doofus dude who has a tendency to waste class time with stupid questions said he'd go next. His song wasn't ready at all! And he was a sucky guitar player. He played louder than he sang so you couldn't hear the words he was mumbling. When he was done singing he tried to explain what he was trying to do with the song. He wanted it to be about this girl he works with who is young and just starting her life. He wants to juxtapose her story with this old woman he knows and oh yeah, there's some guy who sells oranges he also wants to put in the song. WTF? I think even a very skilled song writer would have trouble fitting all that together in one song. AND the first line in the song is "Lizzie's in a tizzy..." Puh-leeez! Jeff and Bill never did get to sing their songs because this guy took up all the rest of the class time.

After that we drove to UCLA (Eek! Parking!) for Peter's concert. It was a big event with concerts going on all around the music building. Peter's part of it was an informal panel in the band room. It was him, a couple of guys who call themselves I See Hawks Over LA and this woman named Laura Love. God gawd, Laura Love was sooo much fun. I'd never heard of her but I left there with two of her cd's. She's a kick-ass bass player with an amazing voice. I loved her songs and her dancey and humorous performance. And I really enjoyed seeing Peter perform. The other two guys didn't grab me much. After the show we walked into town and had lunch at BJ's.

When I got home Lindsay's birthday party was in full swing. I sang my song for them and hung out for a while. Then I went to my room so they could have the rest of he house. On Sunday I was lazy. The only thing I did was organize my music notebook. I also cleaned my room (mostly). Watched the last episode of John Adams. Interesting that he and Thomas Jefferson died on the same day, July 4, 1826, fifty years after the birth of the country. And after watching that show you might think that 200 years ago everyone died with their eyes open.

This morning I took Katie and Boz to the vet. Katie is doing much better. I think she's going to be with us for a while. I just have to take her in for fluids every once in a while and feed her some special food. I sure would like to fatten her up a bit.

Ok, breakfast, shower, work. Here we go again.

Ok, here it is

The Teenage Ravings of a Middle-aged Woman

I'm way past my prime,
no longer a cutie
Gray hairs on my head,
got a 50-year-old booty
If life is a movie,
please hit the rewind
I'm a middle-aged woman
with a teenager's mind

I'm wearing lots of make-up and teasing my hair
And filling my top drawer with thong underwear
But the clothes that they're selling don't fit my behind
I'm a middle-aged woman with a teenager's mind

Then I'll say, give it up, knock it off, you old fool
But that's where the silliness starts
Soon I'm filling up notebooks with only your name
And dotting the i's with hearts

I'm looking at men in a different way
I'm out on the prowl. You poor saps are just prey
The young ones are cute but the old ones are blind
I'm a middle-aged woman with a teenager's mind

Then I'll say give it up, knock it off, you old fool
This is no way for a mother to act
My daughters are anxious, pissed off and embarrassed
And thinking the old bitch has cracked

I don't have the hormones I had in my youth
I'm tired and I'm cranky, if you must know the truth
But in my head there's a kegger, in my loins, a rock band
And you can have a listen but you gotta use your hand

Then I'll say give it up, knock it off, you old fool
Your ship hasn't sailed, it has sunk
Just take this advice and have a big yard sale
or find a new use for your junk

I'm a little more desperate than I was yesterday
I'm looking at appliances in a meaningful way
If I don't get some soon I'm afraid I'll go blind
I'm a middle-aged woman with a teenager's mind.

I sang it for the gals at work yesterday. They enjoyed it, made me sing it twice. Last night the boys and I shared our songs. Bill's is about dinosaurs and Jeff wrote one about taking a pill to cure all your ills. They're still a little rough but I think they're going to be really good songs, especially Jeff's.

Hooray, it's Friday! Song workshop tomorrow. We're going early because Peter had a scheduling conflict. We'll do the workshop in the morning and then go to his concert in the afternoon. Lindsay is having her birthday party tomorrow. I'm putting together some party food but mostly they'll be on their own. That's a first. My kids are grown.

Ok, back to work.

Vacuum cleaner

Today's object writing.

Vacuum cleaner, vacuum cleaner
You suck

Ha ha

Oh, the wonders of nature
You hold in your bag
Dead skin cells, dust mites
That one diamond earring

You stand at attention
And wait for me to use you
I think you've been there two weeks

But today's your big day
Party this weekend
Ukes tonight
Do your stuff
Make it look cleaner
Than it actually is

I have a song!

I didn't like the one I was working on. Too much navel gazing. I mean, I liked it as a poem but as a song, not so much. It has some good lines in it, though. I'll put it away and work on it again when I'm ready. But I've just been through a year of a downer. Time for something light and randy.

Some of the stuff I was writing sounded like something out of a 15-year-old's diary. At one point I wrote- These sound like teenage ravings! Bingo. Got a song out of it. I call it The Teenage Ravings of a Middle-aged Woman. I'm not going to post it yet. I have to present it to Jeff and Bill first.

It gets a little dirty in places. I didn't mean for that to happen, it just took off that way. Fortunately, it's the kind of song you can keep writing verses for so I'll write some cleaner ones for a mixed audience. And don't read anything into the lyrics about my sexuality. I'm just having a bit of fun. Really, I'm quite normal. Boring, even. Normal and boring. Yep. Nothing to see here. Move along, move along.

Kyle put it nicely. He said, "Sometimes funny is more important than true."

But, whee, it's a song! I'm just glad I'll have something to present on Saturday. It'll also be fun to finally have a new song for open mike. I was beginning to worry that Bosom would be my last song.

I just got back from walking the Rube. I'm blissed out on endorphins.

Today Dr. Deb found some bugs in her office. Lots of 'em. They were swarming termites. I looked them up on Google. When subterranean termites move to start a new colony the breeders fly off in a swarm. When they find a place they like, they land and shed their wings. Dr. Deb's windowsills were covered in crawling bugs and broken off wings. They gave her the willies. Actually, they gave everyone in the office the willies except me. For me it was like the Discovery Channel.

Yesterday Jeff and Bill and I played for the grand opening of this smoothie place that their old next-door neighbors own. We were scrunched together in one little corner. Pretty silly, really. The blender was going almost the whole time so we were constantly being drowned out. Jeff picked up their mom and brought her along. It's always nice for her to get out whenever she can. She sat next to us in her wheelchair. She kept trying to talk to us but it's hard to understand her even in a quiet room. There, it was next to impossible. I really tried to listen to her but with the blender and a uke on either side of me I couldn't hear a word she said.

They paid us in smoothies. Ahem... Bill said they might cough up some cash, eventually.

I went to see Dad today. He looked pretty good and we even had an actual conversation. His aphasia was barely noticeable and he wasn't dopey. It was a short visit because he fell asleep. I tried talking to him in case it was just a little catnap but no, he was pretty well out. That's the best I've seen him look in a long time.

Tonight is the first time I've had the AC on since we moved here. I'm indulging in cool air. Better set that thermostat.

Mmmm, endorphins...

Half a Brain

For thirty years
I had half a brain
And I didn't know it
You had half a brain, too

Together they made one life
Your half and my half
Now you're gone and I still have half a brain

How can I make decidions with half a brain?
Half baked, half cocked
Half out of my mind

Half of who I was
Half of what I knew
Half of what I made
Half the failure, too

Half of everything I knew is gone
Well, I never knew that stuff
I didn't have to because you knew it
What I needed to know was stored in your brain

You had half a brain, too
But that doesn't matter now
It's all mine

You made sure certain things were taken care of
I didn't have to think about those things
If I needed to, you would tell me

After stumbling through that year
And making so many mistakes
I realized one day that the reason so many things
were falling through the cracks is
I'm still trying to handle a full life
with half a brain

So, now what?
I can't keep living life with half a brain
Start over
Grow some cells


This might end up being a song someday.

Today's object writing

Green glass

Someone threw it away
Worthless waste of a process
Not useful, left over
Beautiful
To my fourth grade eyes

It was bigger than my dad's fist
Smooth in places
Chipped in others
But, oh, those chips
Semi-circles, layers of circles
Like bullet holes in a window pane
But pretty

Turn it over in your hands
But be careful, it can cut you
Feel the smooth places
Like water made hard
Turn it over
And over
Big finale, hold it to the light

BRILLIANT GREEN BLAZE

You enter with a splash
And disappear

Happy Birthday, Lindsay!!!!!!!!!

Twenty-three years of cuteness and light.

I love you!

Writing

Here's what I wrote yesterday. I didn't write first thing in the morning like we're supposed to. I did this at work.

Sleepy
Late night with a sick cat
Late night with a buzzy brain
Too bad, early morning anyway
Sitting here at work
Sleepy
Empty office beckons
I could go in there
shut the door, turn out the light
lay on the floor and get some sleep
Or sit here
facing the computer
pen in hand
but asleep
Who would know?

Then this-

We have that empty office that no one is using.
It's quiet and dark, just perfect for snoozing.

I also have some verses for a song about using that office in another way.

There's an adjustable chair
That rocks and turns
Or we could try the floor
Don't mind the rug burns

The desk is empty
And big as a bed
No, I'll bump the wall
With the top of my head.

I also have the beginnings of a song about Bernie, Jim's dad's bitch girlfriend. Ken told me the last time he visited them Bernie was talking crap about Lindsay. She's bent out of shape because Lindsay didn't introduce Kyle to her at Jim's farewell party. I do agree that she should have introduced Kyle to Bernie. It's not every day you get to meet the nastiest bitch on the planet, so that was a missed opportunity. I'd love to see how Kyle would draw her.

I did write some stuff this morning but it's way too personal to share here.

What Tarot card are you?

Virginia had this on her blog and I thought it was fun. Go ahead, take the test!

You are Strength

Courage, strength, fortitude. Power not arrested in the act of judgement, but passing on to further action, sometimes obstinacy.

This is a card of courage and energy. It represents both the Lion's hot, roaring energy, and the Maiden's steadfast will. The innocent Maiden is unafraid, undaunted, and indomitable. In some cards she opens the lion's mouth, in others she shuts it. Either way, she proves that inner strength is more powerful than raw physical strength. That forces can be controlled and used to score a victory is very close to the message of the Chariot, which might be why, in some decks, it is Justice that is card 8 instead of Strength. With strength you can control not only the situation, but yourself. It is a card about anger and impulse management, about creative answers, leadership and maintaining one's personal honor. It can also stand for a steadfast friend.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Write a song

Today Jeff, Bill and I went to LA for the first session of a song writing workshop. Peter Case is teaching it. I don't know much about Peter Case. He's been nominated three times for a Grammy. Michael saw him in concert and said he really liked him. Jeff and Bill saw him at the Folk Center. That's all I know. The workshop has four sessions and there are twelve people in the class. I found him to be quite a likeable guy and he really seems to know his shit.

We did this exercise where we had to write for five minutes about a frying pan. Jeff did this pretty cool riff that was just chock full of almost touchable images. Peter said it would make a good rap with a blues guitar accompaniment. I think it would, but it kind of makes me think of a beatnik scene in a cheesy 60's movie. There's this guy sitting on a stage in a smoke-filled coffee house playing blues guitar and rapping about a greasy frying pan? Man, that's ka-raaazee!

Our homework for the week is to write about some random object for ten minutes every morning, start keeping a list of song titles (that we make up), and write a song. It'll be interesting to see what we come up with.

After the workshop we went to dinner at an Indian restaurant. Jeff and Bill, not wanting to waste any time, dove right in and started writing a song about nipples. Yes, nipples. I may have contributed a word or two but the project really belongs to the boys. On the way home Bill got out a uke and came up with some chords and a functional melody. The song began to take shape. I was caught in a storm of nipple references. At one point I started to have an uncomfortable physical reaction and had to kind of hold onto myself as I drove home. It was as if my nipples were saying, "Hey, man, are you talking about us?"

When we got back to Riverside we met up with Virginia and their sister, Pam, at Barnes and Noble. She's visiting from PA. We bought a few books and then went to the California Pizza kitchen for drinks and a visit. Bill had bought a rhyming dictionary. Jeff took it and started looking up rhymes for nipple. The best one was participle. Then Pam said, "Dangling participle" and much laughter ensued.

Quite a good day.

A quick visit with Dad

I went there this morning before work. He was in the dining room strapped into his wheelchair. He was pretty well zonked out. I sat with him for a while and got him to wake up a little. I helped him drink some juice. I misjudged a little and spilled some on him. While I was cleaning it up I said, "Sorry about that Dad. I didn't mean to spill juice on you." He said, "Yes you did." and smiled. It made me laugh. I said, "Ah ha! I knew you were still in there." Even through the AD/stroke/medication fog he can still crack a joke. He started falling asleep again so I left.

Yesterday I hung some... well, they're not really curtains. Kind of like bead curtains except there are no beads, just little straw rings linked together. I hung them over the living room windows. They look pretty cool and you can still see through them into the family room and out the windows. It's nice to get a little decorating done. Today I spent a bit of money and bought a metal pergola at K-Mart (on sale). It should fit nicely in the driveway right in front of the garage. I'm making that area into a patio. I hope I can put it together.

Scooped poop this afternoon. Three dogs can manufacture a lot of doo-doo.

Blogging from work

It's so quiet around here it makes me wonder if everyone's napping at their desks. I'm about ready to pass out. An hour and a half to go.

Zzzzz......

A good day at work

I was busy almost the whole time. I finished up the arts and crafts project. Dr. Monica is giving a presentation at a big RCC meeting tomorrow. The whole meeting is themed. All the presentations will have something to do with growing things. Monica's presentation is called Tilling the Soil. She has a little gardening bag with assorted implements to use as props. Yesterday I made the labels for them. I did the graphics on Word, printed them out, cut them up and mounted them on card stock. Today I affixed them to the implements. Sounds kinda cheesy but they looked really cute. Five of them are attached to the implements and the sixth one is on a glove. I cut a hand out of cardboard and slipped it inside the glove and stapled the label on the outside.

Now, if I had done all this at home I would have used all my wonderful supplies and tools. At work I have almost nothing that functions well for doing an art project. I think that's what made this so fun to do. I had to improvise and it all turned out looking just as good as if I had done it at home.

I also made business cards. She wanted to have something that was specific to the counseling department that she could hand out at the meeting. I downloaded a very simple template and designed the card. The cutter they had in the office caused the card stock to shift so I ended up cutting them all by hand using a metal ruler and a box cutter. They weren't perfect but they were pretty damn close. Monica was pleased and she was reeeally happy with the gardening bag.

Then in the afternoon I redid a bunch of Tanya's notebooks. Not a lot of creativity involved there but now her notebooks are organized and freshly labeled. With the garden bag project and organizing the notebooks AND working on my Psych essay I'm really getting to know my way around Word. So, even if all this stuff sounds boring I'm learning a lot. Plus, I'm pleasing the people I work for.

Ugh! My psych essay. It's supposed to be at least five pages. I've got four full pages and I've said all I want to say. Now I just need to find some extra stuff to fluff it out. I don't want to fluff it out because I like it the way it is. But fluff I must. I still have almost a month before it's due. So, why am I whining?

I'm going to gather up some art supplies to take to work.

...and going

I think we all need to keep hospital kits in our cars. Blankets, pillows, a comfortable chair and a packet of Dad's papers so we have all his information at the ready. Yep, he fell again. This time some Einstein at Airforce Village had sent him to COUNTY hospital. This is the first time I've ever been out there. It's out in the middle of Shitsville, USA.

I was at school this evening and I had forgotten my cell phone. When I got home Paige told me that Dad had fallen and I should call Drew. I couldn't get ahold of him so I called Mindy. She was pretty mad about the whole county hospital thing. We couldn't reach Drew so I decided to drive out there. Dad was still in the emergency room, Drew was with him. Dad was all hands, trying to pull out his IV and take off his stickers and stuff. I stepped in and took ahold of one of his hands. Drew said he'd been a little combative and agitated. Pretty soon after I got there they gave him some Atavan. It calmed him a little but Dad is so good at fighting through sedatives it didn't do that much. We still had to hold onto his hands. After talking about it a while we decided that I should go home and relieve Drew at 5 tomorrow morning. So here I am. I'm going to bed soon.

So, I guess what happened is Dad tried to walk and fell down. They had done a CAT scan on him at the hospital but they were waiting for someone to read it. They don't know if he hit his head when he fell. They suspect yes. I didn't get a look at him but Drew said he has some new bruises.

Man, this sucks. I don't know why I still have this fantasy that the professionals we've hired are actually competent enough to handle this very common Alzheimer's behavior. Silly me.

Ok, update...

Drew just called. They're releasing him. Drew's going to take him back to Airforce and put him to bed. I hope he tells them to give Dad a sleeping pill. Whew! I can sleep in.

Ok, to bed.

I'm weak

Yowza. I went up the Rube this evening. I didn't do the whole walk, just up to the bridge and then back down. Boy, I was slow. I won't have time to exercise tomorrow because it's my long day, but man, I'd better do it on Wednesday. On Thursday we're supposed to uke it, which means Jeff and I will walk beforehand. I gotta get regular exercise. I didn't take very good care of myself last year. I am weak, weak, weak.

On Saturday morning I got my hair cut. Lopped off about 6 inches. It might be a bit shorter than I really wanted but it looks ok. That afternoon I went to Jeff's mom's place with Bill and a couple of his friends. Jeff met us there. We were there to witness the signing of her will. Jeff's been wanting to get that done for months but it was hard to get enough people together to get over there. Fortunately, she was quite lucid so it all went smoothly. Afterward we went to Killarney's for dinner. Mmm, Smithwick's.

Easter was pleasant. The girls were off with their boys so I went to Stacey and Scotty's for the Brown's Easter party. I took Eddie bun in the cat carrier. She was the hit of the party. The kids just loved her and she was so good with them. If you hold Eddie on her back she just zones out. I had all the kids hold her "like a baby" and Eddie just relaxed and was completely still. Even the really little kids could hold her. What a good bunny. When I got home I saw that the neighbors down the street were having an egg hunt in their front yard. I took Eddie down there so the kids could meet the Easter bunny. Two parties in one day. Next year we should advertise.

This morning I took Vesuvius to the vet to get him fixed. Even though Eddie and Walnut are fixed Vesuvius wouldn't leave them alone. Ah, Spring. All the girls at the vet just gushed over Vesuvius. He really is a pretty rabbit. He's black with white around the eyes and inside his ears. His underside is white-ish. His fur is extremely soft, much softer than Eddie's and Walnut's. He looks like a toy.

Kyle had his wisdom teeth out today so he's staying here to recuperate. That means Spiral and Inky are here too. Ink is the kitten we found last summer, the one that was a bag of bones and probably one day away from death. Well, now she's big and healthy and very pretty. Kinda skitty, though.

Man, that walk kicked my butt.

It just keeps going and going

Dad had a bad episode today. I wasn't there to see it. The hospice people called Drew to have him come over and calm Dad down. Drew said he could hear Dad yelling in the background while he was talking to them on the phone.

I went over there after work. When I got there Drew was at the nurses station talking to a nurse. He filled me in on what had happened. They're just too light on Dad's meds there. I think maybe now they get it. They gave him a mellower and put him to bed. He was sleeping when I got there. Drew and I had a nice long talk. When he left I went into Dad's room. Over his bed is a piece of paper that says Call me Mr. Lang and it has all our names written on it. I added, Visitors and Staff, please offer Mr. Lang a drink. He needs more fluids. Thank you.

I think Dad will do better if he has consistent medication and enough to drink. It kind of amazes me that these places seem a little baffled by Dad's sundowners. He can't be the craziest AD mo-fo they've ever seen. I sometimes get this fleeting (thank gawd!) thought that we'd be able to care for him better than anyone I've seen so far. But, of course, that's INSANE.

Jeff and Bill's mom also had an "event" today. These old people are trying to do us in. Are WE (people my age) going to do the same thing to our kids when we're old? Surely... not? Eh? Does everybody do this stuff when they get old? My grandfather was a handfull, my favorite aunt was abusive to her daughter, Deans grandmother made everyone want to kill her. Isn't it enough just to be a little cranky and be done with it? Jeez!

Lindsay and Paige, brace yourselves.

Tomorrow there's a big meeting in the office. All the bigwigs and their assistants are participating. That means everybody in the chancellor's office across the hall will be in the meeting. They're having me go over to answer their phones for two hours. I think I should answer the phones as Ernestine. "A gracious hello!" Snort!

Actually, I'm terrified.

Still here

Poor, stale blog.

Ok. Dad is in the hospice section of an air force retirement community. We're talkin' waaaaay across town, for me anyway. More convenient for Stacey and Drew. It's a pretty nice place. I just hop they'll be able to handle Dad's special needs. He has a bed that can be lowered almost all the way to the floor to minimize falls. Unfortunately, there are no guarantees. Last night as they were transferring him he fell and hit his back on the AC unit in his room. They kept an eye on him last night and today he's doing ok.

The first time I visited him there I arrived while he was taking a nap. I sat there and watched him as he was waking up. I didn't speak or let him know I was there. I wanted to observe him to see what he does when he's alone. Man, he looked awful, really like a moving corpse. One of the nurses came in and woke him up. She tried to get him to eat but he only got three bites down. Another nurse came in and changed his Depends and got him into a hospital gown. Stacey and Scotty showed up soon after. We got him to drink some water which brightened him up quite a bit. I'm thinking they're not doing enough to keep him hydrated. That's a problem for obvious reasons but also because his meds can sometimes build up in his system and put him into a stupor. Then the hospice people get concerned and want to reduce his meds. We're trying to get them to understand that he needs his meds or he becomes agitated and combative. When I went there yesterday they told me he's been fighting them. Yeah, duh. Give him his meds and make sure he has enough to drink.

Yesterday he looked much better. I got there just as he was finishing up his lunch. He was in a good mood and the staff commented on his sense of humor. He even laughed at a couple of my jokes. But his aphasia was very bad. He'd start to ask a question and then get stuck halfway through it and start using the wrong words. When he fell last night the staff called Dede to let her know what happened and so she could talk to Dad and calm him down. She said it was pretty amazing. Everything Dad said was gibberish.

After he finished lunch we went back to his room. The nurses wanted to change his Depends so they hoisted him out of his wheelchair and into the bed. Even as weak as he's been he's always been able to stand. When they were lifting him I said, "Stand up, Dad. They need you to help them. Stand up." But he couldn't use his legs at all. It was like he was paralyzed. He's supposed to get some physical therapy at this place but they won't do it if he refuses or if he doesn't make progress. I don't know when they're planning to start. He sure needs it.

Everything else in my life is pretty good. Progress on the house is slow but at least it's progress. Yesterday I planted some Mexican feather bamboo in three wine barrels lined up outside the sunroom windows. I think in a year's time they'll shade those windows really well. They actually look pretty good right now. That was a big job. Three wine barrels hold a LOT of dirt.

We've been missing some uke practice. Jeff and Bill's mom has been having health issues so our practices have been put on hold. Gonna miss this week, too. Jeff and I haven't walked lately. I'm feeling blobby. Yeah, I know. There's no excuse. Well, I'm being kind of good. I get two 15 minute breaks when I work a full day. Instead of sitting around I'll go out and take some laps around the building. It helps wake me up when I start dragging in the afternoon.

I'm really enjoying my job. I really like the people in my office and I'm learning a lot. On slow days I can do my psych homework. I LOVE that.

Ok, gotta go to the store and buy some food for my rotten doggies.

Doing better

Well, at last as far as the bump on his head is concerned. I don't think they've done any tests but yesterday Dede said if the bleed wasn't getting better we'd have known by now. Oh yeah, Dede came down and spent the night with Dad last night. I just got off work and came home for a clothing change. I'm going to take the evening shift.

Dad is still fidgety and is being kept in a drugged-up fog. Otherwise he'd be unmanageable. It's amazing how he can fight through the sedatives. Last night the hospice person came by and talked to Dede about our options. I'm not concerned anymore about having Dad be in a familiar environment. He's goofy no matter where he is.

Yesterday Dede played some Chet Atkins for Dad on her iPod and he seemed to enjoy it. I'm taking the uke with me tonight. He enjoyed that when he was at Community Care. He liked to sing along then but I don't think he can do that now.

So, now I guess we wait and watch the Alzheimer's follow its course. He could have another stroke or he could take another fall. Or he could just continue on until he forgets how to do everything, like how to swallow. He still knows who we all are but I think he'll lose that soon. It's so surreal that I'm taking that psych class now. It's Physiological Psychology which is all about brain function. It's almost like I can see Dad's brain.

Ok, Donita, go get something awful for dinner and then get over there.