Dad fell

He hit his head this time. It's 1:40am and I just got home from the hospital. Drew is spending the night. They didn't have a room for Dad that was close to the nurses station (he's waaaay down the hall) so his nurse asked if one of us could spend the night. Dad was sleeping when I left but he could pop up at any time. He tries to get out of bed and he's constantly trying to rip out his IV. For his own safety he needed someone there tonight. I didn't feel right about leaving Drew. This has got to stop.

Dad has a bleed on the surface of his brain. When he fell he hit the back of his head kind of off to one side. They're going to keep him in the hospital to see if the bleeding stops on its own. When I left Dad seemed to be doing well. Well, for him, anyway. He was doing his usual behaviors and didn't seem like he was in any additional distress. It doesn't look to me like the fall has done him much harm. We'll see.

So, that's it for now. I'm going to bed. Oh yeah, there's an extra bed in Dad's room for Drew to sleep on. At least he can be comfortable while he's there.

Whew!

Man, it's been a while since the last post. Have I really been that busy?

Yes.

Dad is just getting worse and worse. His mind is nothing but chaos. Right now he has an infection in his feet so he's in a lot of pain. Drew has been with him almost every day because Dad won't settle down, can't settle down. He can't walk because his legs are in so much pain from the infection. And then he forgets that he can't walk so he stands up and falls down. It's just a horrible situation.

We have to hire someone who can be with him during the night. One of the staff at Sunrise introduced Drew to a guy who has a company that deals with this stuff. And yes, it's very expensive. Dad has an appointment at the VA on Wednesday with Dr. Griffin and the psychiatrist. Maybe they can come up with a plan. The last time Dad saw them they were talking about admitting him to the psych ward to do a full evaluation. Maybe this time we should let them.

Just a minute...

Ok, I just talked to the three sibs who are in the immediate loop. Everyone pretty much agrees it's time for action. If the VA wants to admit him then we're all for it. We're also going to be thinking about/talking about finding him a different place to live. Sunrise is fine for docile AD patients. That ain't Dad.

Ok, good. I feel a little bit better. We needed to communicate.

School is going ok but I've been frustrated with the Word class. I'm supposed to do 14 hours of lab time but when I've gone in there they didn't have the right book. I told the teacher about it and I think it's all straightened out. But, dang, I'm behind. Psych 2 is really interesting, especially in light of what's been happening with Dad. He's my Psych lab. Today I stopped by Scotty's office for a visit. We discussed my educational goals. He thinks I might have to take...a.....(ulp)...MATH CLASS.

Work is good. I'm settling in now. Scotty sent me a job posting for an opening in the counseling office. It's full-time with higher pay. I might as well go for it. The hours are goofy but it's on campus and it's a busy office. I like busy. And since it's on campus I could ride my bike to work. But, ahem, I don't have it yet.

On Saturday Jeff went with me to San Diego to pick up Jim's keyboards. The guy who was going to sell them for me didn't. I guess it was more than he really wanted to deal with. Anyway, I think it was good for me to have them out of my space for a while. I'll get some eBay sales going. Jeff and I had lunch at Lawrence Welk Village. The meal was good but I think I left there with more gray hairs than I came in with. Jeff showed me this really cool nursery near there that sells California native plants. I'm not ready to do any landscaping yet but when I do I'll want to go back there and get some.

Man, things are weird right now. Talk about a mixed bag. I love my house, but it has issues. I love my job, but I'm still worried about money. I'm not taking care of Dad, but now he needs more attention than ever. I'm going to school. I'm playing music. Good things are happening and bad things are happening. And I'm still kind of reeling from the ordeal of 2007. I think about Jim many times throughout my day. I'm still trying to figure out who the hell I am.

All I really want to do is paint my living room and buy some curtains.

Some bad, some good. Some really good.

I don't know why I'm not blogging much lately. Things are a happenin'.

I is a student now. It's Scotty Brown's fault. He got this crazy idea in his head that an AA will do me some good. I signed up for Psych 2, Health Science and Word (for work). I've already decided to drop Health Science for this semester. I've still got way too much to do here and it's stuff that can't wait. The bunnies are going bonkers in their small cages so I've got to take some time to build them a big one. We're up to 4 rabbits now. (Heh! At first I typed "rabbis")

Dad has been having some bad days lately. This sundown thing is starting earlier in the day now. He's throwing punches at the staff. He tosses his walker around. I visited him yesterday after they called me and said he was in a foul mood. When I helped him to the bathroom I saw that he has some pretty big bruises all over his body. One of the Sunrise gals asked me if that happened in the hospital. I'm sure it didn't because we were with him the whole time. No, it's happening at Sunrise. I'm sure he gets up and bangs around and falls down a lot. I knew this would happen. When he's in one of his moods he won't stay still. They might think he's down for a rest but he'll get right back up again. They called me a little while ago because he wouldn't eat his dinner and was getting surly with them. I talked to Dad on the phone and got him calmed down a little. We were joking around at the end of the conversation so maybe he's in a better mood now. Drew is going over there in a little while.

They're giving me more hours at work AND I got a raise! It's still not enough to stop the financial bleed but it will make a big difference. It certainly has made a difference in my mood. Got a pep in my step. So, maybe things really will be ok.

Jeff and I went for a nice walk and then did some uke-ing last night. Bill got bogged down and didn't make it. We worked on Hey, Gyp and generally had a pleasant, goofy evening together. Tonight I'm going to Ken's. I'd better get my music book back together!

A visit to the VA on Friday, music and fun on Saturday.

On Friday I took Dad to see his doc at the VA. When I picked him up he was still having lunch so I didn't have time to properly get him together. Plus I was a bit flustered so I wasn't thinking clearly. His wheelchair wasn't in his room and I forgot to get his jacket and extra Depends. I used his walker as a wheelchair and took him out to the car. When we got there I gave him my jacket to wear and covered his legs with the down throw I still had in the car from the hospital stay. I also found a fresh Depends back there.

I dropped him off at the door and asked a security guard to watch him while I parked the car. The security guard took him to Module 3 and checked him in. Nice guy! We got in almost right away but they hadn't told me that he first needed to go up to the lab. We went up and Dad had some blood drawn. We also had to get a urine sample (more great fun for Donita). Then we went back down to see Dr. Griffin. Dr. Giertz joined us. She's the psychiatrist who talks like Edna in The Incredibles. I told them all about Dad's hospital stay and what put him in there in the first place. Dr. Griffin wasn't happy to hear about Sunrise dropping the ball in managing Dad's meals and blood sugar. They both think Dad has a severe case of sundown syndrome which is common in AD patients. They actually discussed admitting him and putting him in the psych ward! If they had seriously considered it I would have said no. Dad does NOT need another hospital stay. He needs regular meals and sleep. They adjusted his meds and ordered a sleeping pill to be given every night plus a second one if the first one doesn't take effect within an hour. YES!

Then we went to the ID office to get him a new VA card. The guy had Dad sit in front of a blue screen so he could take a photo for the new card. Dad kept insisting that I get in the picture with him. We kept trying to explain that it was just for an ID photo. We went round and round with this one. He wouldn't let it go. He wanted to call Drew and get him down there for a picture. He wanted the guy to send him copies so he could mail them out to his kids. AAAIIEEEE!!!! Then we went to the pharmacy. I knew we would have trouble because Dad had no ID and the meds we were picking up were narcotics. I told them to call Dr. Griffin and gave them my drivers license. They told me I wasn't in their records as the person who could act on Dad's behalf. Damn it! I've been taking him there for four years! I'd been picking up meds for him all along. When I first started taking care of him there was a problem with getting me into the system but it had been resolved. They tried asking him questions to verify his ID. I told them Dad wouldn't be able to answer their questions. We finally got the pills but it was a big mess. Next time I need to remember to bring the scans we made of Dad's wallet contents.

By the time we left we had been there for four hours. Dad was starting to get surly. When I wheeled him out the door there was no one out there. Like, NO one. I've never seen it like that. Usually there are people milling about and there's always at least one security guard. It was cold and windy. The courtesy shuttle came up but Dad would have had to climb up some pretty big steps to get up into it. He couldn't even lift his foot up enough to get up a small curb. I told the driver no thanks and turned to go back into the building. Dad started griping about how he would have no problem getting into the shuttle and about how stupid I am and blah, blah, fuckin' blah. After dealing with his bullshit and piss and spending four hours of my day off where I had actually had plans to work on building a much-needed rabbit cage I was in no mood to put up with any of his crap. I told him the only words that should come out of his mouth were "thank you". I took him back inside to the emergency desk and asked the woman there if she could keep an eye on him while I went to get the car. I ran to my car and drove back up the entrance as fast as I could. Sure enough Dad was standing up and shuffling around dragging the blanket and the walker looking like he could keel over any minute. The woman at the emergency desk had just jumped up to help him. He was pointing his bony finger in her face. I got him back into the walker and pulled him backwards to the car, him bitching the whole way. We were both silent on the drive home.

When we got back to Sunrise his mood had changed and he knew I was mad at him. He said he was sorry and asked for a hug. I told him I loved him and said goodbye. Then I went to the Wellness Office and gave them his new meds. I was so glad to get out of there and go home.

Later I went to Ken's and played music with him and John. Gawd, it was fun. I really needed that. Last night Jeff, Bill and I went to the Folk Center to see Janet Klein and Hobo Jazz. It was an evening of Tin Pan Alley type music. We met up with Jeff's friend, Tim. Janet Klein does cutsey, naughty songs from the 20s and 30s. She's completely adorable. Like, really adorable. She had a fiddle player and an amazing guitarist with her. His style was very Django Reinhardt. His grandmother was ZaSu Pitts!

Before the show we had dinner at this Mediterranean/Indian/Afghani restaurant. Major yum. I had the best salmon fillet ever with some kind of creamy sauce and peach chutney. The boys were happy with their meals. After the show we were going to have drinks with Janet (Tim was her dad's best friend) but they wanted to go to this jazz place that had a $5 cover and played loud, noodly music I just can't relate to. We left and came back to Riverside. Bill called Virginia and she and Sue met us for drinks at El Torito. It was the perfect way to end a very enjoyable evening.

On Friday morning I stopped by an estate sale and bought myself a couple of matching dressers. They were a bit dirty but after some cleaning and waxing they look really good. Yay! My room is coming together. Now I just have to cut my bed down to fit my new mattress and assemble it. And then I'll take it all apart so I can paint!

Catching up again

It's been over a week since my last post. What a week.

On Tuesday Sunrise called Drew and told him they thought Dad had had a TIA or maybe another stroke. They were concerned because he was barely functioning. He wasn't eating and he barely responded when they talked to him. Drew called me and he and I went to Sunrise. It was as they said. Dad was weak, droopy-eyed and non-responsive. He hadn't eaten any of his dinner. Mindy showed up a little later. She and I tried to get him to eat a little bit of bread and cheese from his sandwich but he didn't get much down. He did drink a small glass of juice. After discussing it for a while we decided to take him to the hospital.

We were in the ER for a long time. They did some tests but we weren't hearing anything back about the results. While we were there Dad seemed to brighten up a little. That was a bit of a clue right there. He'd had that juice and it seemed to help. Drew and I think that what was really happening was Dad stays up all night trashing his room and then he's exhausted during the day and can't eat like he should. Turns out we were right. Since he wasn't getting enough to eat his diabetes meds caused his blood sugar to plunge. Ahem. Do you think that maybe the staff at Sunrise could have caught that one?

I had to work the next day so I left at around 11:30. They finally admitted Dad and Drew spent the night with him. He said things got a little rough in the early morning when Dad's mellowing meds wore off. Mindy relived Drew in the afternoon. I went over there at 5 prepared to spend the night. Stacey showed up at around 7. She was just going to visit for a couple hours because she had to get up very early to go to work.

About an hour before she got there Dad started to get agitated. He was asking lots of questions and was fidgeting with his hospital gown. He kept trying to remove his IV and he pulled at the sensor stickers that were on his chest. He wanted to know what part of the room was "his house". He was angry that he had to share his room and he didn't like having strangers come and go. He was crazy concerned about edges and boundries. He'd run his hands along the hem of his gown and along the edge of the bed. He'd say, "Your place is there and mine is here. Right here. This is yours and this is mine." He was trying hard to get it figured out and he got angrier and angrier as time went on. Then he wanted to know who was paying for everything and what we should do. I kept telling him everything was paid for and there was nothing for him to do but rest. He kept saying, "Let's go. Let's go talk to the people. Let's go." He kept getting up. Finally I decided to let him go out to the hall. Sometimes letting him walk wears him out. Stacey showed up just as we were walking out of the room. Dad tried talking to a nurse for a little while and then he turned and noticed Stacey. That was enough of an interruption to break his fretful stream and we were able to get him to go back to the room.

But things didn't get any better. I kept hoping the evening meds would show up because I knew there'd be a sedative in there. They finally brought them. Dad didn't want to take the pills and we had to talk circles for a long time before he gave in. Then he had a hard time because he'd open his lips but clench his teeth. He finally got them all down.

He had to pee every five minutes, no exaggeration. We'd get him into bed and get him all covered and cozy and almost immediately he'd sit up and say he had to piss. Sometimes he could make it to the bathroom but we also had to help him use the urinal bottle. That was when we had to let go of any squeemishness we had about seeing our father's nakedness. This went on all night.

We kept waiting for the sedative to take effect. We could tell that it was but Dad fought it. He fought it like mad. It was like trying to get an overly tired toddler to let go of the day and go to sleep. Dad was like a toddler on steroids. He'd get up and stand next to the bed, lips and eyelids drooping, legs wobbly and shaking. We kept telling him to sit down and we'd push him down on the bed. He started throwing punches. At one point he picked up a wooden chair and tossed it on the bed. Stacey said, "This is what he must be doing every night in his room." We called some nurses to help get him into bed. Stacey and I waited out in the hall and listened to them getting him into his bed. We knew that as soon as they were done he'd be right up again. He did stay down for about 15 minutes but soon he said he needed to pee and jumped right up again. We helped him walk to the bathroom but he stopped at the door and leaned against the frame. His legs just wouldn't carry him any further. At that point I got pretty angry. I said, "That's it Dad. You're going back to bed and you're going to stay there. Stacey has to go home. We're done. Let's go. Pick up your feet. Pick up your feet." I kept talking as we dragged him back to bed. He fell asleep quickly and Stacey went home. She was pretty upset.

Dad slept for about an hour and a half but then the whole thing started up again. He'd sleep for a bit longer in between but he still got up several times during the night. I tried sleeping on the floor for a while. Then one of the nurses brought me a more comfortable chair and I slept in that. Sometimes Dad could make it to the bathroom but most of the time he couldn't and he'd pull his Depends down and pee would go everywhere, including on me. At 4 am he started to get combative again. More yelling, more throwing punches for 2 1/2 hours. He finally fell asleep. When he woke up at around 8 he was fine. Drew showed up at lunch time and I went home. They released him soon after.

I went home and crashed. That night Jeff and Bill came over and we had a nice, wonderful evening of playing ukes and drinking wine. A lot of wine for me. Thanks, guys. It was exactly what I needed.

I'm taking a break. I'll write about Dad's trip the the VA doc later.

Kitchen with built-ins

I love the cabinets but they have quirks. One of these days I'll change the hardware back to something more 50's. I'm not wild about the tile but it isn't bad.
I loooove this built-in unit. You can see some remnants of Gammer's wallpaper. You can imagine how changing the hardware would help these cabinets. Now I'm trying to decide what color I want to paint the kitchen. I want something that will compliment the cabinets and all this green glass I have on display. Have you guessed I have a thing for green glass?

When I was in second grade my dad gave me this big hunk of green glass he found on a job site. It was about the size of a large grapefruit. It was a big solid piece that had been chipped here and there. The chipped parts were shaped like big swirls. It was amazing the way light went through it. It was one of my favorite objects. I lost it when we moved up to the farm. I know it was in a box that also contained my sea shell collection that was stored in the barn. I'm sure it was taken a long time ago.

More photos

The ugly tree. It actually doesn't look that bad in the photo but standing right next to it changes your DNA, I'm sure of it. It leans, the top of the trunk is jagged and the branches stick out at right angles. Nope, I don't like it.

The pokey liquidambar. It's ugly, the roots are invasive, it drops LOTS of leaves and hard, spiky seed pods and it's right in front of the kitchen window. I'm sure they planted it there to shade the window but jeez, there are other ways to do it. Drew wants to see if he can dig it up and plant it at his house. Fine with me as long as it goes.

Click on photos to enlarge.

Ok, photos

MidCentMod, baby!

Hmm, Blogger seems to be having a little trouble uploading my photos. More to come.

Anyway, this is the cool sofa and chair that were being stored in a trailer in my dad's junk yard. The upholstery was completely shot but the frames were in good shape. I had them redone. I've been keeping them covered because I wanted to get an anti-kitty scratching device of some kind. But now that the kitty has been banished (peeing in inappropriate places) I decided to enjoy them uncovered. Dean gave me the lamp by the sofa. I've been collecting lamps from that era for years. I'm a sucker for a good mid-century modern lamp.

My house

I hesitate to say this because it might cause the earth's poles to reverse polarity and maybe even its spin. I actually kind of enjoy cleaning my kitchen.

I KNOW!

I haven't had a garbage disposal for ten years. Got one now. Been without a dishwasher for five years. Got one now. The layout is good and there's lots of counter space. The stove is easy to clean. I even think there's an advantage to having the washer and dryer in there. I just multi-task like crazy. Right now the washer and dishwasher are humming away. It's still a disorganized mess because things aren't put away yet. I think it's going to be quite the cheery space when it's all fixed up.

I was out in the front yard just now studying the landscape. Getting familiar with the bushes, as it were. I'm trying to figure out what I want to do with the front yard and the entry way. The plants are over-trimmed and spent. They're lush but tired-looking. I wanna rip 'em out.

There's an ugly, rickety railing across the front porch. There's white gravel under the bushes that scatters everywhere and is full of debris. The whole front entry way is crowded and closed-in and not at all welcoming. I'll bet I could take the railing and the gravel out in one afternoon. I haven't made up my mind about the bushes. There are five newer bushes nearest the front that have a nice shape and are kind of cute. I might try digging them up and moving them someplace else.

That big, gnarly tree in front that everyone loves? I've decided I hate it. It's oppressive. It looks like the very soul of Satan resides there. It should have been tended to long ago when it still had a chance to grow into something graceful and zen-like. Instead it looks unloved, tormented, demented and evil. And it has an evil little sidekick. The liquidambar tree in front of the kitchen window is completely bare. It has many, many spiky branches that look like they'd love to poke you and grab you. The bark is oddly ridged and the color is a pale gray. Seriously. Sibs, Smiths and Odiens, next time you come over check 'em out.

I found my camera. I'll take some photos. It's time.

I love this house.

Foggy and weak

I visited Dad this afternoon. When I got there they had just taken him out for a walk. He was pretty tired. We talked for a while in the dining room. He kept asking questions about where he was and why he was there. None of my answers stuck. He kept asking me to take him for a ride, to take him out of there. I kept stalling and said it would be his dinner time soon. He got up to go to the restroom. I thought he was going to use the restroom by the dining room but he went all the way back to his own room. He was gone a long time. When I went to check on him one of the Sunrise gals was in there with him.

Many years ago my grandfather had made this kinda cool little chotchke. It's this pretty, gnarly rock on a square base with a ceramic collie figurine glued to the top. It looks like Lassie standing on a cliff. It's something I remember seeing in their house when I was very little. When my grandfather died Dad brought it home where it sat on his mantle for many years. The last time I was at Sunrise it was sitting on top of his tv. Today the rock was sitting on the side table right by his door. The collie figurine is gone. I looked all over for it. A couple more Sunrise gals came in to check on Dad and to test his blood sugar. I asked them about it. One of them said that rock was something he liked to throw around. Yeesh. I wondered if something like that was going to happen. She said he always throws his stuff around and that they're always having to go in and clean up his room. He was still in the bathroom so I put the rock in my music bag and brought it home. They said they'd look for the collie and put it in the office if they find it.

After they left I visited with Dad in his room. He was very tired but I couldn't get him to go to bed and take a nap. He kept asking questions. He wants Drew to stay with him every night. I kept trying to explain that Drew has his own family to take care of. Dad said he understood but still wanted Drew to stay with him. He said he wanted to talk to Jim. I said, "My Jim? Dad, he's gone. Jim died last year." He said, "No, the other Jim. I want to talk to Drew and Jim." I told him I didn't know of another Jim. Then he asked, "How did I get into this sorry state?" His eyes were half closed. I talked to him about his stroke and his Alzheimer's. I finally got him to lay down and he quickly fell asleep. I sneaked out.

Ugh! I felt awful driving home. It's very sad to see him this way. Even though he can't retain anything you tell him he seems to know that he's not going to get any better. It's like on some level he really knows what's happening to him and he's finally accepted defeat. I don't really know this, it's just a feeling. And, oh, it's such a shame that figurine is broken. It always made me think of Pawpaw. I hope they find the collie. If it's not busted into too many pieces I can glue it back on. Stacey had bought Dad a nice lamp with a glass shade. I guess that got broken too. It's a bare bulb lamp now.

His birthday is on Friday. I don't know if it's a good idea to take him out someplace but I think we should. He seems like he's settling in ok so it might not be too disruptive.

Glass of wine, tv, zone out.

I didn't get permission...

...and I don't care. I'm going to post this anyway. Nancy has her portfolio online and it's fabulous.

Nancy's portfolio

Well, he's ok now.

I don't know why we think we'll be able to take a break. It hasn't worked so far.

Drew called this morning just before I left for work. It was a quick phone call so I don't have all the details. Dad had a minor health incident yesterday. He was watching the game when he started having chest pains. I guess they were bad enough and persisted long enough for the staff to get worried. They called the paramedics and he was taken to the hospital. Drew spent the night with him there. They did some tests on him but the only thing wrong with Dad is he's anemic. They think maybe he just had some bad heartburn or acid reflux. Drew and MIndy took him back to Sunrise this afternoon. I went over at around 5.

Dad was just finishing dinner. He was a little mad because he didn't like what they were serving. Drew got him a ham sandwich which he liked a bit better. After a while Drew and Mindy went home. I stayed for about an hour. We went back to Dad's room and chatted for a bit. He's spaced out and dull. Dulled, really. It's sad to see. I'd almost rather see him fight. He kept talking about wanting to go someplace, to get out of there. He wants to go to the movies or on a family picnic. He wants to come over to my house and help me move in. There's nothing for him to do there except sit in his room and watch tv or go to the dining room to eat. I'm sure they have activities there but I doubt he'd enjoy that kind of thing. I think he knows that the place he's in now really is the old folks home.

When I left he wanted to walk me out to my car. I was doing my best to try to talk him out of it without actually telling him he couldn't walk out with me. One of the staff overheard and said she'd walk with us. Once we got out to the hall she said, "Ok, goodbye!" and held Dad's arm and got kind of cuddly with him while I punched the code on the key pad and left through the big secure door. Dad must know that he's locked in.

Yesterday was the uke group meeting. Jeff was sick so we were without our leader. It was a good meeting but it wasn't the same without our BABoR. After that I went to a Super Bowl party at Bruce's. Ken, Sherri, Amber and her boyfriend were there. Tim and Jan, too. I had a good time. I got home at around 6:30. I was pretty tired so I went straight to bed. Early to bed, early to rise, dammit. I woke up at 4am. All I could do was either lay there and stare at the ceiling for two hours or get up. I got up and puttered. Bleah.

Work was good today. I did computery stuff. It was kind of dry in the office which gave me a runny nose. I was blowing my nose all day. I was talking to different people and running errands around the building and even met some new people. Tra-la-la. On the way home I scratched my nose and found a piece of dried up booger on my nostril. HOW LONG WAS THAT THERE!?!?! How many people did I talk to with that dried up booger attached to my nose?!?! AAAIIEEEE!!!!!!

I feel like the dorkiest dork in dorkdom.

Prozac patio

There's something about taking a hot bath that just gets the ideas jumpin'. I've been wondering what I can do with my sun room. I wanted to use it as an art studio but there are too many issues. It's not a real room, more like a screened-in patio. The roof is a patio roof and it leaks. The windows are screens covered with plastic sheeting, which is falling apart. The carpet is old and yucky. It's cold at night and gets hot real quick when the sun shines. I've been using it as the animal management/box storage room. The dogs have been sleeping in there. It's where I put Lady when she's barking too much. We put the rabbits in there to let them get some exercise. When I empty a box it gets tossed out there.

So! Last night I took a hot bath and got some ideas. When we moved here I lost my wonderful Prozac porch. I loved my porch with its awesome view and comfy furniture. So, ok, I won't have a view but I can make this room into a really nice hang out space for summer evenings. I'm going to clean it out, rip out the carpet, take down the blinds and the plastic sheeting, set up the rattan sofas, put up some cool lights and add some plants. If the cement slab is ugly I can paint it. All of this will cost almost nothing.

I'm going to shade the windows outside by lining up four half barrels and planting them with bamboo. Oh yeah, the outside. I don't have a proper patio outside so I'm going to use the area if front of the garage as one. Got a lot of ideas for that, too.

All this might not seem like a big deal but it is to me. The house is feeling more and more like it's mine. There's so much that needs to be done. Big stuff that I can't do right away because it either takes a lot of time or costs a lot of money. But I can do something like this and it'll add a LOT of useable space.

But not today. Today I'm going to try to get as many truckloads out of storage as I can.

After breakfast.

Hear me roar

Today when I got home from work I got out my brand new electric lawn mower and mowed my front lawn. Then I trimmed the edges and raked up the enormous mound of leaves around the liquidambar tree. I hate that tree. Anyway, then I raked and swept the driveway and sidewalk. The front yard doesn't look squeaky pristine but it oughta keep the neighbors from worrying about me lowering their property values. It didn't take me that long and once these trees stop dropping so many leaves the job should go quicker. Right now my back is squawking "WTF???".

But it's done. I love that mower. I do need to remember to use an orange extension cord instead of the dark green one. I'm sure you can guess why. While I was out there my across the street neighbor came running up to meet me. Lindsay had told me about a chat she had with her and she said she was very enthusiastic and nice. She was. She thinks it's way cool that we share the same last name. Her name is Christine.

Tomorrow I'm going to try to get as much out of storage as possible. I've got to get my expenses down and having two units is costing too much.

Ah, it's the weekend. Now that I'm a working stiff I can say stuff like that. Ahh... Uke group on Sunday. I'm going to try to stop by Bruce's Super Bowl party. Gotta make some artichoke dip.

Dad at the doc

Drew went with me. I met him and Dad at Sunrise at 1:00. Drew had brought along wheelchair (good call). Dad had just woken up from a nap and was very groggy. He kept saying he felt weak. At one point when we were walking out he stopped in the hall and held onto the rail. He also talked about being hungry. He said he missed breakfast and lunch. Drew and I think he probably did have breakfast but might have missed lunch. Anyway, he was pretty out of it.

Drew got the wheelchair out of his truck and put it in my car and we drove to Loma Linda. We had a bit of a wait before they were ready to see Dad so I ran upstairs to the canteen and grabbed him a hot dog and a diet Coke. After he ate he was much brighter.

We had a very good meeting with Dr. Griffin. Drew filled her in on all the details of the stroke incident. While he was talking she looked over the printouts of the Phoenix medical records. Dad kept asking about the stroke and being in rehab. He didn't remember most of what has happened in the last three weeks. Drew kept telling him that the stroke took away a lot of his memory but his brain was healing and his memory should return. Drew's been telling him this all along and Dad seems comforted by it. Dr. Griffin caught on and started telling him the same thing. She told him it would take one to three months for him to recover. She feels he's on the right medications and all she added was a prescription for a mild sedative for those nights when he's agitated and can't sleep.

Dad really did well. He never once got cocky and he cooperated as well as he could. He was very pleasant to be with. It's such a relief to know that he can be like this. Easier on us and so much better for him.

Work was enjoyable today. Dr.D was interviewing people for the Director of Food Services position at RCC. The meetings went way long so I ended up chatting with the last interviewee for about 45 minutes. Nice guy. His name was Hezekiah.

Last night Jeff and Bill came over for uke practice. It was more productive than our first meeting although it took us a while to get started. We did a lot of computer work, looking up songs and printing them out. We mainly worked on adding back up vocals to Tweedlee Dee. It's sounding great so far.

Not a bad day.

Dad free days

What a crazy couple of weeks. We have all just been through something kind of extraordinary. It's been a relief to have these last several days Dad free. But the whole situation has been constantly on my mind. I'm sure the same is true for the sibs and spouses. Sunrise told us they'd rather we stay away for a while until they can evaluate him. We can take a good, guilt-free break.

He's entered a frightening phase. Now he sees there's something wrong with him, that he has holes in his memory. He told Drew that he's very scared. I hope he's doing ok. The latest report says he is.

I've been puttering around getting things put away. The house is looking better and better. Not quite photo-ready, tho.

Tonight I went to open mike with Jeff and Bill. First we had dinner at this Mediterranean place. It was a little pricey and we weren't sure what to order. I came up with the brilliant idea of ordering two appetizers for my meal. I ordered the cucumber salad and this hummus and beef dish. Jeff and Bill thought that looked good so they ordered the same thing (except they had lamb). Little did we know... The cucumber salad was basically a LOT of yogurt and a few cukes in a bowl with olive oil drizzled all over it. The hummus and beef thing was really good. It was topped with mint, pine nuts and drizzled with olive oil. Very tasty but now we found ourselves involved in a meal that requires a LOT of pita bread. Never in my life have I eaten so much bread in one sitting. Several times I noticed that I had olive oil running down my arm. We all thought it would have been helpful if the waiter had told us the cucumber salad wasn't really a salad. It really was good but we could have shared one and it would have been perfect. Jeff and I left there with two containers of cucumber salad, which later spilled in the bag in the car.

When we left the restaurant it was pouring rain. We had parked close to the Folk Center and walked a few blocks to the restaurant. It wasn't raining then, of course. One the way back to the Folk Center I got drenched. A big raindrop hit me smack in the eye. OW. I had used styling gel when I blow dried my hair. Now it was a wet, goopy mess. I was hoping it wouldn't dry into a dorky, crunchy mass. At the break I snuck off and brushed my hair.

Bill sang Daydream Believer by The Monkees. The audience sang along. Jeff did King Of The Road. The audience sang along. I sang Sukiyaki. The audience sang along! Well, hummed along. I also sang The Bosom Song. I had to. Jeff shouted it out. He was just joking around but several other people chimed in for Bosom. I laughed and said I wasn't prepared but I'd do it anyway. Jerry said, "See what happens when you write a hit song?" (Ego feed!)

I'd been wanting to learn Sukiyaki by Kyu Sakamoto for a long time. I have no idea what it's about but it has that cute melody and I thought the challenge of singing it in Japanese would be fun. Yesterday I sat down and worked on it. It was actually easier than I thought. That semester of Japanese finally came in handy.

I enjoyed performing it. I goofed a couple of times but I think I covered ok. And people hummed along, which was fun.

It was a very enjoyable night out with the brothers. Tomorrow they're coming over here for uke practice.

Catching up

Dad's back at Sunrise now. He's in the Alzheimer's unit. Yesterday he was released from rehab. We all took him out to lunch at Olivia's and then back to his room. When we were going into the building Dad fell. He was distracted by the shuttle bus which had just pulled up. He got a lot of coaching on his walking when he was in rehab. We've tried to continue that. We'll remind him to stand tall, let his arms hang at his sides and to pick up his feet. He resents this and usually will either get bratty and make a joke or he'll get nasty. Or sometimes he'll accept it. But soon he forgets and it's back to stooped shuffling with his hands clasped behind his back.

Dede spent the night with him the other night. She said he woke up and didn't know who she was. She kept trying to explain to him that she was his daughter and told him the facts of his life. She told him about Dolores and his kids. He got angry and said, "How do you know this information?" She kept trying to explain. He said, "Don't call me Dad." That's the first time we've seen that. The next morning he was fine.

I don't feel at all confident that he'll do well at Sunrise. Their staff is very good but no one will be with him 100% of the time. His anger is always just below the surface and he's prone to falling. But it's too soon to tell. We have to let him go through this transition. Maybe he'll mellow out a bit once he's been there a while. I'm not optimistic. I think he's going to take a bad fall and either hit his head or break a hip. He has an appointment with Dr. Griffin next week. I hope I can get some time alone with her. It's too hard to talk to her with Dad in the room.

Other stuff...

On Tuesday Jeff, Bill and Liam came over for some uke-ing. We had fun but I think we need to be better organized. My voice is still pretty weak so I couldn't sing much. Liam brought pizza (Thanks, Liam!).

Dad's dog, Lady, is driving us nuts with her barking. She's deaf so you can't tell her to shut up. When I go outside she comes bounding up just as happy as can be. I've been bringing her inside when she barks but the other night when I brought her in she kept barking. Time for the shock collar.

I'm moving in little by little. I'll be so glad when I can start painting these walls. I guess it's a good thing that I can't start right away because it gives me more time to think about colors. My ideas are getting more crazy and vivid. Hoo boy, it's gonna be fun. I'm going for mid-century modern/psychedelic folk art/eclectic. Ok, I know how it sounds but you should see what it looks like in my head. It's FABULOUS!

Spending the night with Dad

Last night Stacey and I spent the night at the convalescent home. At first things were going well. Dad was in an ok mood. I'll probably get some of the details wrong. It was a rough night.

Some of the nursing staff at this place are very good. Some of them are clueless idiots. One of them showed up to take Dad's vital signs. Stacey tried to gently wake Dad up but the nurse dope got ahead of her and switched on the light. Dad woke with a start and was immediately agitated and angry. He started yelling at us and the nurse to get out. Stacey tried to calm him down but he was having none of it. Junji, his room mate, was having a very hard time last night. He's also a stroke patient and he has a lot of trouble breathing. Sometimes he makes these horrible, rattling noises while he's trying to clear his airway. When Dad hears this it makes him angry. He kept trying to bat at the curtain between their beds. Junji's nurse was moving in and out, trying to do her job. Dad kept yelling at her to get out. He kept saying he was going to have us all thrown in jail. At one point Stacey firmly pushed Dad down onto his bed and practically laid on top of him to restrain him. Dad tried to bite her. The male LVN on duty came in to see if we needed help. When Dad saw him he yelled some more. Lots of cussing. He screamed for help. Stacey held onto him until he wore himself out.

Somewhere in all this I called Dede to see if we could get him a sedative. Unfortunately one wasn't ordered so we couldn't request it. When Dad was mostly calm I went back into the room to try to talk to him. When he was having his fit Stacey told me to leave the room. Her idea was we would play good cop/bad cop and she wanted me to be the good cop. That seemed to work well. She went out to the hall to talk to Dede on the phone while I sat with Dad. He was still angry but too tired to give me much trouble. He was sitting in his wheelchair, hunched over with his head down. After a while I started talking about when I had played the ukulele and sang for him the day before. He had really enjoyed that and yesterday morning I printed out a bunch of songs that he could sing. I told him I had done that. I started listing the songs and then I sang one for him. It was hard because I was crying but I got through it and it seemed to change his mood. I sang about 3 or 4 songs and then helped him into bed. While I was doing that Dede showed up. We talked for a while and then she left.

Dad slept for about an hour, maybe more. Then he woke up and said he needed to use the bathroom. That was one thing that had us concerned. He was peeing a lot last night but drinking very little. Anyway, we helped him to the bathroom but he refused to let Stacey go in to help him use the toilet. Again he was angry. Stacey and I waited outside the bathroom until he was finished. When he cam out he again tried to go over to Junji's side of the room and pull back the curtain. I blocked his path and Stacey and I tried to guide him to the bed. He turned and walked out of the room. Dede had suggested letting him go for a walk when he was agitated because it wears him out. Stacey followed him out and I went back for the wheelchair. Again Dad was angry and yelling. We kept trying to get him to settle down and be quiet because the hallway is loud. Sound really reverberates out there. As we were walking along the LVN and another nurse came around the corner. Dad said, "Ok, I'm going to start hitting now!" and actually lunged at the LVN. Stacey pushed him down into the wheelchair and held him. Since I had removed the leg rests (I had been sleeping in the wheelchair) we couldn't move forward. So we backed down the hall, Stacey almost in Dad's lap, and back to the room. We backed in next to his bed and I sat in the chair and held Dad from behind. Stacey held him from the front. After a while he stopped struggling. He just didn't have the strength to keep fighting. Stacey sat on the bed while Dad yelled at her. She just sat there, not responding. Dad started to calm down but he kept saying nasty things to her. I don't think he was aware that I was right behind him. I started gently rubbing his back. After a while he started to lean forward and got more and more calm. Back rub. Another great suggestion from Dede.

Stacey left the room and I kept rubbing. I started humming Just As I Am. I couldn't remember all the words but it has a sweet melody and I thought it would be a hymn that Dad would like. After a while he said, "Just As I Am". I said, "That's great, Dad. You remembered the song." I sang what I could remember. Then Junji made one of his noises and Dad got a little mad. I started talking to him about how I know in his heart he is a kind and loving person. I told him I know he can have some human love and compassion for the poor man next door who is very sick and having a hard time breathing. I told him stories about all the times in his life where he has helped people who were in need. I kept gently rubbing his back and arms. Then I crawled out from behind him and helped him into bed. He fell asleep quickly. When I went back out to the hall Drew was there. Stacey had called him. By this time it was about 5am.

I talked to Drew for a while. All of us swap stories and tips for helping Dad to stay calm. Drew is very good with him and Dad seems to be less explosive around Drew. At 6am the LVN came to test Dad's blood sugar. No problem, everything went well. Stacey gathered up her things and went home. Last night took a lot out of her and she was very upset when she left. When Dad is in one of his rages his face changes. His eyes go wild and vacant. He says the nastiest things. These episodes always seem to dredge up the worst of our childhood memories of Dad. We know we're dealing with his disease and that this is all he has left but it still leaves us with a sick feeling. I hope Stacey gets lots of rest today.

He'll be in the convalescent home probably until Thursday. Then he can go back to Sunrise and into their Alzheimer's unit. He'll get great care there. His bed will have an alarm on it to alert the staff when he gets out of bed. We'll probably have a doctor prescribe a sedative so he'll sleep through the night. I think we may have reached the point where he'll need stronger mellowing meds. It's a tough balancing act. Too much medication and he shuts down almost completely. Not enough and he goes into these rages and could hurt himself or someone else, maybe a staff person, maybe one of us, maybe another resident.

Oh yeah, we're in the nitty-gritty of Alzheimer's now.

This sad anniversary

In the weeks leading up to this day I felt myself getting anxious. I wondered what I was going to do, how I would spend the day. On Monday, which was the anniversary of Jim's stroke, I kept noticing the clock. I kept thinking, ok, a year ago at this time I was at the hospital in the ER. Then, at this time I was in ICU. At this time I was driving home alone. For the next few days I was thinking about our time in the hospital. I spent most of today at the convalescent home so I didn't have much time to think about the clock and what we were doing at certain times of the day. Just now when I was driving home at around 4:30 I thought, ok, at this time we were at Ken and Sherri's having pizza with the family and Jim was already gone.

I've been thinking a lot about that time and some of the things that happened in the weeks that followed. One thing that keeps popping into my mind is the day when I went to the mortuary to identify Jim's body. I wish I had never seen him like that. I'm hoping that memory will fade. I'm sure eventually it will.

What a year this has been. I'm not the same person I was then. I've had to learn so much. Like, who am I? Who am I without Jim? That process is still unfolding.

Tonight I'm going to Ken and Sherri's. John is coming over and Lindsay and Kyle will stop by. We're going to play music and talk and probably get good and drunk. Being able to spend time with Ken has been so helpful this year. He and I are the only ones who really know each other's pain.

Today I took Lady to the convalescent home so Dad could have a visit with his doggie. Dede and I took him outside to sit in the sunshine for a while. At one point he leaned over and said, "I have a falling feeling." I held onto him and told him he wouldn't fall because he was snug in his wheelchair. After a while it passed. Dede took him back inside and I took Lady home.

When I came back Dad was just finishing lunch. He was angry and agitated. He really hates the food at this place. But it was probably more than that. Dede and I had a hard time calming him down. He kept trying to pull back the curtain by his bed and bug his poor room mate, who is also a stroke victim and not doing very well. She eventually told him that if he didn't calm down they would either give him drugs or restrain him. That seemed to get his attention but he was still surly. Fortunately, it was time for his physical therapy session so it was easy to redirect his attention. His aphasia seemed worse today and I think at one point he may have been hallucinating. Dede left to run some errands. She went to Sunrise to talk to them about when Dad can go back there and move into the Alzheimer's unit. Good news there. They'll take him any time. He still needs more therapy so he'll stay at the convalescent home maybe another week.

Since he's been there he's had someone with him every minute of every day. Drew and Dede have spent the night with him and Stacey and I have been there when we could. He can walk on his own but his right knee is very weak and he could fall at any time. Sometimes he's pleasant and cooperative, other times he's pig-headed and can even get physical. This is wearing us out. I'll be glad when he can get back into Sunrise. He'll have an alarm on his bed so we won't have to have someone there at his side 24/7.

Ok. Gotta go take a shower and get ready to go to Ken's. This'll be good. A nice little party for Jim.

Back in Riverside

Drew, Dede and Stacey bought Dad back today. They said the trip went really well for the most part. I left work just as they were checking into the convalescent home. Dad was very upset about being taken there but he calmed down after he had some dinner. After a while Mindy showed up with the kids. Most of the time I was there Dad was doing well. He'd zone out sometimes and snooze but he never really fell asleep. After a while Drew and Mindy left to take the kids home and get a more comfortable chair for Drew. He's planning to go back at around midnight. Dede and Stacey are there now. We've found out that one of us will have to stay with Dad the whole time because he keeps trying to get out of bed and stand up. If we're not there to help him he'll fall down for sure.

When I first arrived Dede was pretty angry. Stacey, too. I guess when they first got there things were pretty chaotic and the staff were clueless. They did NOT feel right about leaving Dad there. Once the night crew came on and we met them we all felt better about it. Dad is sharing his room with a man who had a stroke on Christmas. His son was there. Stacey pulled him aside and asked him if he was satisfied with the level of care there. The guy was a little hesitant. He said the care isn't that good but as far as he knows this place is one of the better ones. He said they have a family member staying with their dad 24 hours a day because they can't count on the staff to know what's going on. We're hoping Dad responds well to therapy so we can get him out of there and back to Sunrise. He can't go back to his apartment but he can go into the Alzheimer's unit.

I had to leave to pick Paige up from school. I'm going to get something to eat and then go back over there for a couple hours. I'll take the uke and play some music for Dad. Just before I left Scotty and B showed up. Dad seemed to feel like he had to stand up to greet Scotty. Stacey thinks it's because he doesn't want to appear weak in front of Scotty. Dad got kind of nasty with Stacey and we had a hard time getting him to sit down. Things were pretty calm when I left.

I really hope Drew is getting some rest right now. I'm going to gather up some pillows and stuff to try to make everyone a bit more comfortable. It's going to be a long and difficult week.

It's a bit of a mystery at this point

Dad was doing better but now he's becoming more and more unresponsive. He just wants to sleep all the time. They did another cat scan on him today to try to find out why. I don't know the results yet. Dede and David are there now and they filled me in on the latest. Stacey is driving out there and she and Dede and Drew are going to drive Dad home. At least that's the plan for now. They have to wait until they know for sure what's going on. He won't be going back to his apartment. He'll go straight into a nursing home.

What a time this is. I think all of us are a little shell-shocked. We worked so hard to get the farm ready to be sold and to get Dad and us moved. I think we were all thinking things were settled and we could take a break and get our own lives back on track. And then Ruth died and Dad had a stroke. Several strokes, really. And it happened in Phoenix! Drew and Mindy have been dealing with this for almost week. Tomorrow is Stacey's birthday. And then there's that big, sad anniversary that's happening on Friday. This is life in a pin ball machine.

I wonder what February will be like?

Another bad day

I haven't heard directly but I guess Dad had a pretty bad day today. I don't know if they're giving him his mellowing meds in the hospital but they probably should. I heard that Dad was nasty and combative and actually had to be restrained. He doesn't remember anything about the stroke and he doesn't understand why he's in the hospital. Of course, it doesn't matter how many times you explain it to him. He'll either forget or he won't believe you. That's what Drew and Mindy have been dealing with. They're going to keep him in the hospital for another day. I don't know how they're planning to get him home. Stacey and I have both offered to drive to Phoenix if they need us. I'm sure by now Drew and Mindy could use a break.

Dad's having some trouble

Mindy called. They were at the airport (Phoenix?) and Dad started having problems. She said his speech was slurred and he was almost incoherent. She was calling me to get a list of Dad's meds. The paramedics got there while I was on the phone with her. We talked for a few more minutes and then she had to go. I haven't heard back from her. It's been a while.

Ok, I just called David. Dad has had a stroke. Don't know much more than that right now. They're giving him a clot busting medication at the hospital. I guess Drew and Mindy will call David when they know more. Holy cow. They were on their way to Texas for Ruth's funeral. This is just amazing.

I'll write more when I hear something.

Back to work

Yesterday when I went into the extra office I discovered that there was a water leak right over the desk. It had dripped into a big box of student contracts and they were all soaked on one side. I spent four hours spreading out contracts and I only got up to M. This afternoon when I got there the other office assistant had finished spreading them out. All I had to do was re-alphabetize them and put them into tidy piles. Then I spent the rest of the afternoon assembling binders for a retreat this weekend.

That's what I did. I'm an office assistant.

This morning Paige said she was feeling dizzy. Not like she was going to pass out but she was having a hard time with her equilibrium. She wasn't sure if she could handle going to school but she wanted to give it a try. I dropped her off and watched her in my rear view mirror. She went through the gate and then turned around and came back to the car. We came home and called the doctor's office. They could take us right away. She's got a mild case of vertigo, probably associated with the cold she just had. He prescribed motion sickness pills and said it would probably go away soon.

I'm making slow progress moving into this house. Maybe this weekend I can do a big push. I want to get some more stuff out of storage. Lindsay wants to go to Ikea and get a bed frame. I want to check out their lighting.

So, there it is. Ain't life glamorous.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not complaining.

Ruth

Well, I knew this one was coming. Aunt Ruth has died. She been completely bedridden for over a year because of her last stroke. She was 89. I guess she'd been going downhill for the last few days and even had a heart attack when she was in the hospital. I'll get more details later after I talk to Molly and Joe.

Ruth was Dad's oldest sister and my godmother. I was always just plain crazy about her and she always treated me like I was something special. She didn't have much of a voice in her last few years but I will always remember how she sounded when she talked. Her voice was high-pitched and kind of breathy, even when she was yelling at Uncle Charles. She spoke in a clear, precise way with that lilting Texas accent. To me, Ruth was Texas. She was funny, overbearing, strong, high-strung, dramatic, smart, fierce, sometimes mean but always full of love for her God, country and family.

Her last years weren't good and she gave her loved ones just as much trouble as Dad gave us. But I never had any bad experiences with her so I'll count myself lucky and enjoy the many good memories I have of my Aunt Ruth. I'm sure I'll be thinking about her a lot over the next few days. It hasn't sunk in yet but I knew the last time I saw her would be the last time.

I'm feeling better now. I'm going to go fix myself a pot of tea and go sit down and listen to the rain and think about Ruth.

Still sick

Oh man, shouldn't this thing be going away by now? I think it is lifting a little but damn, my throat is RAW. Aleeve is the only thing that works on this pain. But if I take Aleeve I have to put up with the aches and congestion. I can't take anything else because I don't know how they'll interact. Aleeve is pretty powerful stuff. Well, it's an acceptable trade-off. I'll put up with the aches, fever and crud. I can't deal with the throat pain.

Drinking a lot of tea, sucking on a lot of cough drops. I've missed two days of work and will probably stay home tomorrow. That bothers me. I just started this job. Now I'm taking a week off after vacation.

This house looks the same as it did right after the big move. Almost nothing is put away. And now Lindsay says she's starting to feel sick. I hope it goes easy on her. Paige was better after about four days. Maybe Lindsay will get lucky. I hope Kyle is feeling ok.

Ok, enough of this nonsense. I've got too much to do to be laying around immobilized.

Good-bye 2007

I looked up the spelling of "good-bye". Adding the hyphen makes a difference.

I may have just eaten the most delicious apple ever grown on a tree. Seriously, this apple was amazing. A big Golden Delicious, no blemishes, crunchy, full of juice and impossibly sweet.

I'm sick. I'm on day 2 of the cold I caught from Paige. I feel shitty. I look shitty, too.

Last night at 10:30 I drove to LAX to pick up Lindsay and Kyle. Since there was almost no traffic I arrived about 1 1/2 hours early. I found an I-Hop nearby so I figured I could kill some time in there. I was a little surprised at how packed it was. I ordered the breakfast sampler (big mistake) and put my phone on the table so I could know exactly when 2007 ended. I checked it at 10 minutes, then 6, then 2. I spent the last minute just watching that phone. When midnight came there was no fanfare, not even a little one. People in the restaurant acted like this was just any other day of the year. Not one person said yay or Happy New Year. The worst year of my like just slunk away like it understood that it had behaved very, very badly. Bad 2007! No cookie!

I looked at the clock a few minutes later and there it was, 2008 happily ticking by like it owned the place.

Now I'm home and getting nothing done. Foggy head, congested chest, hot eyeballs, achy joints and a sore throat. Sniffles, too. Actually, more like great gobs of snot and phlegm. I'm coughing up major organs. I wish I could sleep more.

I guess I'll go give it a try....

...on my new WONDERFUL mattress from SEARS!

Christmas

I forgot to write about our first Christmas without Jim. Not much to tell. It was Lindsay and Kyle, Paige and Gabe and me. I went to Dragon House and picked up some Chinese food. It's become a bit of a tradition to have Chinese food on Christmas Eve. It started when we first moved back down here. Jim and I were always selling Christmas trees up until about 5:00 on Christmas Eve and there was no time and no energy for fixing a big meal so we always picked up Chinese food. This time I got the good stuff. Dragon House is the best Chinese restaurant in Riverside. Press Enterprise says so.

We didn't have many gifts to open. There just wasn't any time to shop this year and I certainly wasn't in the mood to join the crowds in the stores. I gave the boys gift cards and the girls got some trinkets plus a share of the family Christmas bonus. They were very happy to get a pile of cash. We opened the almond champagne that Ken and Sherri gave us. We laughed a lot and had a really good time, just like Jim was here. We drank a toast to the end of 2007 and toasted our hopes for a better 2008. Then I left to take Lindsay and Kyle to the airport.

I've been thinking about Jim a lot lately. Dreaming about him, too. In my dreams he never speaks to me. He's always just there hanging around.

Yesterday I had a grief moment. I hadn't had a computer since the day we moved out and I really wanted to get it set up. But all our equipment is scattered and packed away and I don't know what plugs into where so I probably wouldn't have been able to set it up anyway. The DSL had been activated but I was stuck. I was sitting in the family room when I noticed a package from AT&T sitting on the table. It was my new wireless modem and all the cords and filters I needed to set things up PLUS instructions. I just lost it. I sat there and sobbed and sobbed. Getting the computer set up would have been nothing for Jim. For me it's all a big mystery. Finding that package was almost like a message from Jim saying, "It's ok, you can do this." I plugged it all in and bang, I had internet. I still had to sit on the phone for almost two hours to get everything connected and to change everything to my name. I still don't have everything hooked up that I need but at least I can blog and get e-mail.

AT&T might be a big, evil corporation but they sure train their people well. They never once told me I'd need to send them a copy of the death certificate to remove Jim's name from my account. I sure ran into that roadblock a lot this year.

So, I have two more milestones to get through. January 14th, the day Jim had the stroke and January 18, the day he died. I think I'll ask for the 18th off. I don't think I'll be much use that day. And after this year I won't talk about January 14th on this blog. Stacey needs that day to be hers. Our mom died on January 14, 1987, which was Stacey's 21st birthday. When Jim had his stroke I didn't tell her until the next day. It's not fair to her to have so much sadness attached to that date.

It's still hard to believe he's gone. It still feels like it's impossible. I don't feel certain that my decisions are correct because I don't have Jim to knock it around with. Last night I was home alone and I kept having these long conversations with the cat. At one point I said, "Whoa there, girl. Grab the reins. You're not THAT old!" And then suddenly I felt very vulnerable. I was here alone. Sure, I've got three dogs here but they're useless idiots. I just got a glimpse into my possible future and it made me uncomfortable. I think when I reach a certain age I'm going to want to share a house with someone.

Looking forward to warm, sunny days. Too much dreary gloom right now.

Where to start?

The sun's in my eyes but I'm not too blinded to see the gunk on this keyboard. Another cleaning project.

Boxes are everywhere. I need to do a blitz on this house. Either unpack it or move it someplace where I won't trip over it. It's a little hard to get much done because my back is hurting right now. But once I'm up and moving it settles down. Boz has found the low spot on the back yard fence. I saw him wandering the neighborhood when I came home last night. That'll be my morning project after I finish up here. I brought fence boards from the farm for just that purpose.

Last Saturday the sibs and spouses helped me move in. We worked very hard all day but when we were finished they all went crazy on the wallpaper. It was so funny. Everyone was dead dog tired but they just HAD to attack the walls. It was great! The kitchen went from Grandma to project-in-progress in a matter of minutes. Suddenly the cabinets were the main focus.

Ah, I just unstuck the painted-open shutters in here. Got the sun out of my face.

I was here only a few days before going up to Dede's in SLO so nothing much got done. My new bed got delivered. Yay! Man, I knew that my old mattress was bad but after sleeping on this new mattress from Heaven (Sears) I know it must have been really messing with my back. This new one is reeeeally comfortable.

More later.

I had to go to the store to get comfort food and meds for Paige. She's got a nasty sore throat.

SLO was nice and relaxing. Well, as relaxing as it could be with a couple of rambunctious boys running around shooting nerf darts. Do NOT shoot at Aunt Donita. You'll be sorry. Anyway, it was fun. Thursday night the adults went to dinner at a very nice restaurant. That was after an afternoon of wine tasting, which was way fun. Dede was the designated driver so the rest of us were free to indulge and get goofy. Dinner was marvelous. I had the pork chop. It was the best pork chop in the world and probably the biggest. Everyone had a taste of it and all agreed that it was a pork chop that would be remembered for all ages.

Dad's behavior continues to get more and more out there. He's not as nasty but he's doing weird things. If he can't handle eating with a fork he'll pick up the food and eat it with his hands. His toileting is becomming problematic. I really don't know how long he'll be able to stay in his apartment. Not much longer is my guess.

I had to come home early because I had to be here to meet the phone guy. He was going to run some new wiring and add some jacks but when he got a good look at the job he decided he needed more time and some help. He's coming back on Monday. But at least he got my DSL going!!!!

Friday night Jeff and I saw Sweeney Todd. First we went to dinner at Ooka (mmmm, sushi) and then had tea at The Coffee Depot. We had a lot of time to kill before the show. I had never seen Sweeney Todd on stage so I didn't know much about it. I really enjoyed the movie and now I'd love to see a stage production. Next time one comes around I'm there. I loved the cast in this movie. Sacha Baron Cohen was a total crack up. Johnny Depp is always great to watch. Dude gets cuter every year. And hey, Snape and Wormtail get a lot of scenes together. It was a fun evening with a good friend.

And now I'm off to Home Depot to buy screws so I can keep my rotten dog from jumping the fence. I did a lot of work in the back yard yesterday. Most of the yard furniture, tools and decorative elements had been plopped down randomly during the move. I relocated them to the strip behind the garage. It looks much better out there now. It also was the first time I spent much time out there. The first time I really got a good look at the yard. Hoo boy, there's a LOT of work to do. There's Bermuda grass everywhere. I'm going to have to practically kill the whole yard, except for the trees. Actually, some of them are going to go as well. I won't be able to re-assemble the rabbit cage as it was. Gotta start over with that one. I'll need to cap off a sprinkler head or two. Can't have soggy bunnies.

But first the fence.

FINALLY!!!

We gots internets! I can read e-mail! I can send e-mail! I'm connected, baby!

This will be a short post because I've already been sitting here for two hours on the phone getting my DSL hooked up, authorized, effed up and fixed. We're mostly moved in but nowhere near set up and settled. We're tripping over ourselves. But it feels good to be here and every day it feels more like home. Most of the offending wall paper has been ripped down.

Yeah, I'll have to write more later. Lots of catching up to do. But right now the butt needs a break.

If we close today...

...you might not be hearing from me for a while.

I'll grab the computer out of storage right away but I don't know when it will be set up. This morning Lindsay and I are taking the rabbits over there. Cats, too. Damn house better close!

One more day

Wait, wasn't that last post titled "One more day"? Yes it was. And we still have to wait ONE MORE DAY!!! We should have moved in a week ago. I'm so sick of this.

I was going to take tomorrow off work but I might as well go in. Maybe I'll take Friday off instead so I'll have three solid days to work on the move. I'm going to throw away my Christmas tree. It must be dry as a bone by now.

Boy, how's that for pouting? Christmas is RUINED!

Yesterday was a good day at work. I worked on finding lost people. Well, they weren't lost, just some of their paperwork. I felt like I was doing something productive and useful. Time just flew by. I'll continue that project today.

Maybe I'll move the rabbits to the new house this afternoon. They're just going into the back yard anyway. It would save us some time and it will feel good to have more over there than just my plants.

One more day

That's what I've been told. Tomorrow I should get the keys to the new place. I'm going to ask for Wednesday off so I can move some things. We'll get the U-Haul unloaded so Drew can return it. Then this weekend we'll do a big move.

My first big project will be the kitchen. Since I'm going to take my time moving in I want to do things right from the very beginning. We'll pull down wall paper, line the shelves and drawers, get the systems set up and paint. I don't have a grip on what color yet. Something happy!

My car is going to be about $380 to fix. Not too bad.

Yesterday I had Paige drive around in the new neighborhood. It's an ideal place to practice because there's almost no traffic. She did really well.

Thank you, Stacey and Scotty for letting us stay for so long. Three nights turned into ten days.

Ok, gotta go get ready for work.

STRESS!!!

The day started out nice enough. I took Paige to Gabe's and stopped by the new house to check the mail. When I came back to Stacey's I helped them decorate their tree. Good holiday fun. Drew brought Dad over and he and Scotty settled in to watch a game on tv. I needed to get a gift for the office party on Thursday so I headed for Costco in MoVal.

I took a wrong turn and went a bit out of the way. No biggie, I was enjoying the drive. Then the car started making noises like gravel hitting the wheel well. Then that noise stopped and was replaced by an odd whiny whirring. I'm pretty sure a belt broke somewhere. I pulled into a shopping center where they were having a low rider car event. The place was packed and I had trouble getting through the people and cars to get to a place where I could park and call for help. First I called Scotty. He pretty much left the house right away to come get me. A few months ago I signed us up for Allstate's emergency road service. I didn't have my card with me so I called Lindsay to get the number. I called Allstate and had them send out a tow truck.

Scotty showed up a little later. Dad had come along for the ride. So, ok, it gets him out of the house. We waited for a while and then the tow truck came. I had parked in front of a furniture store, one space away from the store's big truck. It had a big sign on the side and a string of red and white balloons attached at the top. Scotty had parked right next to me on the other side. When the tow truck guy got there he tried to pull in between me and the furniture store truck. Oops. Not enough room. He scraped the side of the truck. Two guys from the store came running out. Dad, of course, considered it his duty to get out of the car and tell the tow truck guy what an idiot he was for scraping the furniture truck. Fortunately, I was able to head him off. I was stressed, cold and hungry. I was NOT going to put up with any bs from Dad.

The scrape wasn't a bad one and the store guys weren't upset so we got busy getting my car loaded up to take to Porter's in Riverside. We followed the guy most of the way to Riverside. Scotty got in front of him for the last part of the drive just to make sure he knew where to go. Everything went pretty smoothly but it took a lot of time and we had to listen to Dad's opinions the whole way. I left the key and a note in Porter's lock box. I'll deal with it on Monday. I hope it will be ok sitting there for a couple days.

After it was all handled we met Stacey and the kids at the Hawaiian barbeque place at Mission Grove. Drew and Mindy showed up a little later. Dinner was good. Just what I needed. As we were leaving we were working out who was going to ride with who and where and how I was going to go to Drew's to get Dad's car so I'd have something to get around in for the rest of the weekend. Dad had to get in one more nasty comment about me using his car. Hell, it's almost MY car since I'm buying it from him soon. Of course, he doesn't know that.

This is what I didn't need. I don't think it will cost much to fix and it probably won't take very long but jeez, cut me a break, will ya? I'd like to not have to be rescued for a while. I don't like being a load.

Tomorrow I'm going to Costco.

In Corona!

We're off this weekend

Don't know for sure but it looks like the farm sale was funded today. That means it'll be recorded on Monday and I'll get to move into my house on Tuesday or Wednesday. We won't have the gas turned on until Thursday. No heat, no showers. Sponge bath city. We have electric space heaters. Somewhere. Buried in storage.

hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii its brendan. donita's nephew

Brendan is guest blogging. Hey, Bill, B says he doesn't care about using punctuation or capitals. Evil Aunt Donita is enjoying watching him squirm.

Anyway... Work was mellow today. Half the people weren't there. I stuffed envelopes.

Ok, B is being a pain in the ass. I'm going to publish and go. If anyone has something fun to to this weekend give me a call.

Nothing new

Yesterday I actually did some stuff at work. Stuff. I stuffed envelopes. Actually, I was happy to do it. At last I was doing something that was somewhat useful.

No new news of the land sale fiasco. Everyone on this side is working hard to try to get the dickheads to release the funds so we can close tomorrow. But it still might not happen until Monday. My animals are going bananas. Bozzie and Gracie's behavior is just plain bad and the kitties are as sad as they can be. The bunnies look stressed. They're stuck in cages surrounded by five noisy dogs.

That's about it. We're just hoping for some good news.

LARGE ANGER!!!

I can't write much now because I have to take Paige to school soon, The buyer is being a total DICK!!!! We might not close until Monday!!! He's being nit-picky about stuff that was left on the farm. We've done everything that he asked for and now he's finding new things to be unhappy about. Drew and the grader guy offered him some very reasonable solutions but he refused. I went there yesterday morning to take care of the cats and everything was fine. Then Drew showed up there at 1:00 and Dad's house was wide open. Someone had broken in. Fortunately, they didn't let Marty out. So, last night after dinner Drew met us there and we got all the cats out. They're in big cages and carriers at Drew's now.

This jerk is making things stupid hard for a lot of people. And I really don't know why. Everything is going to be bulldozed so why is he complaining about a few rocks and a sack of plaster? Some metal shelves were left in one of the barns. The grader guy told him that it would be an extra $3 in dumping fees. He even offered to do an extra dump load for free. No dice. Buyer bitch wants to be pissy.

So, this morning a lot of phone calls will be made. We're going to try to get it settled so we can close on Friday.

Ok, gotta go.

Things are up in the air

Boy, I'll be glad when this is over.

Let's see. We're all staying at Stacey and Scotty's. The dogs are in the side yard with the bunnies. Sunday night was awful. Stacey's dogs aren't used to having doggy guests so they were a bit jacked up. My dogs were HORRIBLE! I was worried they would traumatize the rabbits with all their barking. When I went to bed all I could hear was Bozzie barking. After a while I got up (oh yeah, I'm also in pain from the move), went downstairs and grabbed the little monster and put him in my car. Then I came back in and climbed the stairs and went back to bed. Then Gracie started up. I went back downstairs, out to the yard and got Gracie and put her in the car. Then I went back upstairs and back to bed. My body hurt all over and my brain was buzzing like mad. I lay there for a while trying to decide if I wanted to go downstairs again to grab some of Stacey's prescription ibuprofen. Fortunately I remembered I had a Vicodin in my purse. I took it and finally got to sleep. I hate my dogs. Ok, not really but I was pretty mad at them.

We had to get up early because it takes a while to get down the hill. I took Paige to school and then went to the farm. I took Bozzie with me because I was afraid he'd get bored and start messing with the rabbits. When I got to the farm I put him in with Marty to keep him company for a while. Marty doesn't have much use for us but he likes his doggy friends. I worked on gathering up the last of my things for a little while but I didn't have much time because I had to get back up the hill and get ready for work. The buyer was supposed to do the final walk-through. Ahem... Debbie, Bob and Dede took my plants over to the new house and dropped them off. Thanks, guys!

I came back up the hill to get ready for my first day of work. As I was doing hair and make-up I kept glancing at the clock in Audra's room. I was doing just fine, right on schedule. Then I wondered, hmm, is her clock right? It said 11:38. I went to Stacey and Scotty's room and looked at their clocks. They said 12:13!!!! I had to be at work at 12:30! I zoomed back to the bathroom and started RIPPING the curlers out of my hair! Curlers and pins were flying! My heart was pounding. I finished getting ready and came downstairs. The clock on the mantle said 12:15. The kitchen clock said 11:40. AAIIEEEE!!!!

Audra's clock was right. The kitchen clock was right. Stacey and Scotty keep their clocks set a half an hour ahead and the mantle clock is BROKEN. It ALWAYS says 12:15. I had oodles of time and a pounding heart. And my hair turned out pretty good!

When I got to the office almost everyone was still at lunch. A very nice young man was sitting at the front desk. He took me around to meet some of the people who were there. After a while two of the women I had met on my first visit came back from lunch. My first task was to reformat the schedule and add myself to the list. That was the biggest job I did the whole time I was there. They just didn't have anything for me to do. I sat at the front desk and studied the staff directory. I perused the RCC website and answered the phone ONCE (and screwed up). I poked around the office a bit and found the supplies closet. The most important thing I learned yesterday was where the pens are kept. And I get to do it all again today!

After work I went to the farm to see if I could find Zoey. Earlier, Paige had crawled under the house and scared her out. She sealed up the holes so Zoey couldn't get back under there. But then she was spooked and wouldn't come to anyone. I couldn't find her so I left and had dinner at Coco's. After that I went back to the farm. Zoey came out and greeted me like she always does and I nabbed her. This is not a cat that likes to be held. I had a hard time finding my house key in the dark while holding a squirming cat. I managed to get in and stash her in the room with Katie. Hooray! All the cats were captured and contained. I waited around a bit longer because I was supposed to meet Hector at 7:30 so I could pay him for the work he did the other day and so he could pick up his Christmas tree. He didn't show so I left. I was so tired. I just wanted to get back to Stacey's and end my day.

I found out later that the buyer never showed up for the walk-through. Sherri called me earlier and told me that he's being squirrely and might not want to close escrow on Wednesday. Dude! We HAVE to close! We've done everything he wanted us to do! The farm is cleaned up, the trees are gone and I moved out early! Gammer and Gaffer are waiting for their money so they can close on their new place in Oregon! I have people scheduled to come to the new house and install and deliver stuff! My plants are already there! GRRRR!!!!

I slept better last night. The dogs didn't bark at all. I guess they didn't want to sleep in the car again. I took a Vicodin right before I went to bed. But I still woke up way too early. S'ok. It gave me time to blog. I'll take Paige to school, go to the farm and take care of the pets and then come back here and get ready for work.

This time I'll know what time it is.

Beyond tired

We worked like, well, like we usually do. It's hard to tell if we got most of our stuff out because there are so many particles left to pull together. The nervous buyer threw a monkey wrench into my plans. Now I'm not sure what I'm going to do with our cats. I'll have to think about that when my brain isn't so tired.

Tomorrow Drew is going to pick up a big truck from U-Haul. We'll hang onto it for a few days so we can store the last of the big stuff in it.

I'm at Stacey's right now. No internet at home anymore. We'll sleep there tonight but tomorrow we'll be conmpletely moved out so we'll either be at Drew's or Stacey's. I'm here right now because I'm going to use their jaccuzzi. I'm just waiting for it to warm up.

I'm amazed that I still have space in my storage units. I'm sure we'll finish 'em off tomorrow.

Ok, that's it. I'm too loopy to blog.

Oh fer cryin' out loud.

The buyer is nervous. He wants to do his final walk-through on Monday and he wants me out by then. He's afraid escrow will close, the sale will have funded and I'll refuse to move and he'll have to have me evicted. Dude, if I don't get out on time then I'm screwing myself and my whole family. Don't worry about it.

So! We're outta here this weekend. We're refugees! I'll pack some clothes for work and some grubbies for the move. I'll use my travel toiletries bag and... uh-oh. I already packed the other two air mattresses. Well, I'm sure we'll have someplace to sleep for a couple nights.

Dede came down to have a look at the place and to help me pack. Thank you, Dede! She and I worked on the studio and got it ready to go. Now that I think of it, this will probably be my last post until after the move. Maybe I'll blog from Stacey's. I'm sure there will be stories to share.

The farm is telling us it's time to go. Things have been falling apart for a few months now. Trees have been dying. And tonight when Dede was leaving I noticed that the slow drip in the kitchen sink has turned into a steady stream. Just one more thing.

Gonna go get some dinner. Maybe Killarney's. Mmmmm, Smithwick's. No, wait, it's Friday. It'll be a madhouse. Aw, what the hell, it's still early and I really want that beer.

Puh!

The weather is going to be icky this weekend. That is so NOT what we need. We'll be moving in the rain. Grumble, grumble.

CONGRATULATIONS to Sherri and Ken (and of course to Robin and Paul) on their new grandbaby! Little dude arrived early this morning. I forgot his name (sorry). A happy day for all.

This morning Sherri and Brandon met Drew, Debbie, Bob and me at the new house for the final walk-through. It looks like the electrical repairs were done properly so plus points on that one. We found a few more problems but nothing too big. It's an old house so of course it will have issues. But one thing I didn't know. When we were in the sun room we were wondering what the windows were made of. I said, "Is this glass or plexi?" and poked at the window. My finger went right through it!!!! It's just some kind of THIN plastic! Ok, so it's just the sun room which is really an enclosed patio. We found out it's really a screened in patio with plastic sheeting over the windows. Ahem!

Oh well, it's still going to be a great house. This will be my best kitchen ever. I can't wait!

Today they're clearing out the last of the Christmas trees.

Keep moving, girl. Lotta packing left to do.

Go away!

The wolves are circling.

All of the trees in the front field are gone and we've had big machines pushing dirt and debris around. It's obvious that we're leaving. Signs are posted that say We're Closed and No Tresspassing. So, of course that means anyone can come up here, right? This morning there were a few cut trees left in the front field. These people were out there just helping themselves, dragging trees up to their car, which was parked in front of our house. The whole damn day was a big moron parade with people coming up here, asking about trees and blocking the driveways. I HATE PEOPLE!!!!! I want to make another sign that says, "The only people who belong up here are the construction crew and the family that STILL LIVES HERE. If that's not you then don't come up here."

I told one guy that there are no more trees and as he was driving away he slowed down and got all snoopy looking at the stuff I had piled in the driveway to take to storage. Asshole! I'm sick of it.

Tomorrow morning we're doing the final walk-through at the new house. Drew and Bob are going to inspect everything to make sure the electrical repairs were done properly and just check the general condition of the place. Gammer and Gaffer are gone! Hooray!

This afternoon I took the Excel class at the library. It was completely useless. I'll just take the Excel/Word class at RCC and learn it for real.

Today was pretty productive considering I was on constant moron patrol. I got a lot of packing done and the truck is almost ready to take another load to storage. But since I'm worried about rip-offs I had to take some stuff out and lock it up in the garage. The furniture guys came and picked up Dad's leftovers. They're coming again on Saturday to get the rest. They were nice. I enjoyed talking to them.

I'm having the dogs sleep outside tonight. It's not very cold and Boz can chase off the critters (animal and human).

Dad's new place

I saw it for the first time tonight. Man, this place is NICE. Like a good hotel. A really good hotel. And Dad is as happy as can be. I'm stunned. He fought like crazy against going to an "old folks home" but you never know it to see him now. He's living like a king.

Drew and Mindy took a small Christmas tree to his apartment and set it up. Debbie and I bought some decorations at Big Lots and took them over. Bob was already there. We had coffee and cookies in their snack area and then went to Dad's apartment. Debbie, Bob and I decorated the tree while Dad sat and listened to Christmas music on the tv. He was amazed that he could have nice music in his room any time he wanted. We had a very nice visit. All of his resentment towards me is gone. After seeing him there I really don't think there will be any trouble, at least until his Alzheimer's gets worse. You just never know.

This is just great.

A quick one

Didn't get a whole lot done today. I'm going to take a load to storage pretty soon and while I'm there I'll rent another unit. We'll probably fill both to the max this weekend.

We're doing the final walk-throughfor my house early Thursday morning. Drew and Bob will see of the electrical repairs are acceptable. Gammer and Gaffer will be out by then. Thank GAWD!

Today was more crazy stuff. So many people were up here walking around and blocking the driveways with their cars. Somebody parked in my driveway. I'm tired of having these people here. The grader guys are fine but the rest of them are people who heard from their sister's friend's mother's waitress's boss that they could come up here and get a tree. Some of them have an actual connection to our family and we do let them have trees. But everyone wants to chat for way too long and it pulls the focus away from the job at hand. I don't CARE that they've been coming up here for years and I don't CARE that they know Dad and want to know everything about what he's doing. Go AWAY! Yesterday we had some people from some other church actually giving trees away outside our fence. Caused a huge traffic jam. Drew had explained to them that no one could be on the property so they were waving people down as they drove by. IDIOTS!!!!!!! We put a stop to that pretty quick.

Ok, back to work.

Blogging on hold

I'm changing all my sevices this morning..llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll That was Katie sitting on the keyboard. I'm sitting here, typing one-handed, on hold with AT&T, holding an insistant kitty who's in the mood to be cuddled. The AT&T gal just told me that Gammer and Gaffer haven't put in their change order yet. Virginia, you're right. They're not leaving! Get the Granny Scram!

Ok, she just called them and got it handled. So far this morning I've called the thrift store to schedule a furniture pick up, the plumber, the sheriff's department, an antique store, Dish Network and now AT&T. Dang, we have to change our phone number. Ok, new life, new phone number.

Yesterday was a bit more mellow but still a lot of hard work. I left in the afternoon to go to the uke group meeting. It was great! A good friend of the Odiens was there and he brought his whole family. A sad occasion for them. They were all together because of a death in the family. They all really enjoyed it and it was probably a nice break for them. The quality of music was bumped up a couple notches. A fun afternoon.

We're almost finished clearing out Dad's house. The grader guys are back today. Back up beeps galore!

Today I have to go to RCC to get my TB test read. Later on I'll go to the sheriff's dept. for finger printing and a background check. The rest of the time I'll be working, working, working. Just as soon as I finish up with these phone calls.

It couldn't have gone any better.

I hope it lasts.

This morning they delivered the dumpster. Dad was here for a little while but there was so much activity and it was so easy to redirect him that he didn't get much chance to see what we were throwing away. Mindy took him... I forgot where she took him. She managed to keep him away for a long time. While they were gone the movers from Raincross showed up. Boy, what a frenzy! There wasn't that much to move so it went pretty quickly. When Dad came back Dede, Debbie and Mindy took him to the new apartment and got him settled in. He loved how it looked. He commented on how much he liked how simplified it was. No visual clutter. Dad really likes his new place!

We worked all day getting things moved out. It's amazing seeing the place look so empty. We're almost done. It's kind of unbelieveable.

We had dinner at Stacey's. I was kind of out of it. Reality is smacking me around a little bit. Leaving here feels like leaving Jim. I had a couple good cries and then felt a little better. Debbie showed us some videos of her grandkids. Soooo adorable! Dad watched a ball game, had some dinner and was just as happy as could be. It's really something. He could switch attitudes in a second but for today at least he was with the program and loving it. Dede took him back to Raincross. She's spending the night there tonight. Dad won't be coming back to the farm. As far as he's concerned I'm moving this weekend, too. We'll have to stall him as best we can until they tear this place down. We just can't let him come back here.

Tomorrow we'll pretty much be finished at Dad's. I'm getting started on my move. Gonna put more things into storage. One of Paige's friends is coming over to help move some of the heavy stuff. Next weekend is the big push.

Donita, go to bed.